PRESENT: J.G, P.F, H.C, P.B, K.S, C.M, D.F, T.M, B.H, F.B.

APOLOGIES: Biggles, Jethro, Matador.

RESULTS: D’s o D were the Straggler, Cardinal and Crocs on 30 points. The DDoD was Brains on 32 points. The Falcon was in second place with 35 points. In joint first place with 37 points were the ever popular Chuckle Brothers, the Comic and St. Rappe. There were three twos by the Comic, the Falcon and St. Rappe.

TOASTS: To Newcastle United and Alan Pardew for continuing a fantastic run.

To Lewis Hamilton for securing the F1 championship and to Nicole Scherzinger for all her wonderful support for lucky Lew.

To the Cardinal and his partner for their victory in the seniors competition last week.

Corrections to the Minutes: Noel Beaton was not suspended as was hitherto alleged, on account that a man can no longer be held accountable for his wife’s actions.

The minutes should have clearly stated that Terry was asked what he was most notable for, in order to derive a nickname for himself.

THE MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED AS A TRUE RECORD.

MATTERS ARISING:

1. The Falcon was not recorded as being absent whilst on his recent jaunt to the US of A. He apologised for missing the next three weeks due to prior commitments.
2. The Secretary apologised for having forgotten the spreadsheet to record the preferences for the Christmas buffet and will bring it to the next meeting. Soapy declared his desire for a deluxe buffet, but St. Rappe queried whether the caterer’s definition of deluxe would match Soapy’s expectations.
3. The Comic called for a motion of censure on the Chair on account of the alleged smutty content of recent emails. The Chair professed no wrong doing and when it was put to the vote, the majority agreed and the Staggler breathed a huge sigh.
4. The Comp. Sec. revealed his irritation with a recent anonymous email which he perceived as undermining the integrity of the Soc. Sec., claiming he was attempting to join the exalted ranks of the executive. Jocks appealed for the perpetrator to be admonished but the plea was left in abeyance.
5. The Chair declared that orders for shirts and jumpers should be placed promptly but unlike Curry’s, could not promise delivery before Christmas.
6. It was suggested that Terry’s nickname should be the Geezer and it was unanimously adopted.

Micky B. Was a very keen fan of the Beano and Dandy up to the age of 30. It was therefore proposed that he should be known as Lord Snooty. This item was left for future discussion.

BUSINESS Of THE DAY: The Rabbi announced a tongue in cheek reprimand for the Chair for being nasty to his playing partners and causing distress thereto. The Chair shrugged his manly shoulders but no apology was forthcoming.

Next Monday is 1 Dec and signals the end of Movember. The kid will be in attendance and there will be a photo session for the two MOHG representatives. Some of the MOHGS who will be absent next week, paid their sponsor money in advance to St. Rappe.

The tee times for next week are as per. Kwok apologised for his absence.

The meeting closed at 1.50.

BURT( Hon. Sec)

PRESENT: P.F, P.B, T.M, F.B, B.H, P.L, K.S, D.F, C.M.

APOLS: Biggles, J.G, E.E, H.C.

RESULTS: DoD with a miserly 27 points was poor old Kwok. DDoD was the equally pathetic Francis with 29 points. The runner up with a majestic 37 points was the Croc. Winner of the week on an unassailable 39 points was the personable Soc. Sec., the ever popular Cardinal.

No 2’s were posted and T.M is beginning to wonder if he will ever see the bulk of his winnings from two weeks ago. The Cardinal promised to trawl through historic data in order to ascertain the true worth of Terry’s poke. The Chair has been pouching 2’s and swears cash for several weeks and is pleading dumb as to the actual amount he owes. The Hon. Sec. on the other hand has admitted pouching 60p in swears.

TOASTS: To little Burty Kwok in recognition of his award of the Bob Amos Trophy last week.

A retrospective toast was proposed to the Chair on the event of his 69th. birthday, last week.

LAST WEEKS MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED AS A TRUE RECORD.

There were no matters arising.

BUSINESS OF THE DAY: The Cardinal triumphantly declared that he had booked the buffet but declared with a flourish that he wiped his hands of any decision as regards the content thereof. He then produced a menu which indicated that there was a wide range of food available for varying prices. Soapy, unilaterally and unreservedly stated that money should be no object and that we should go gourmet and seek quality produce. Five savoury items per person would cost £8.50 each. Eight savoury items would be £10.50 pp. Twelve savoury items would command a massive £14.50pp. The two members of the executive seemed to be in accord throughout the meeting and the Cardinal suggested that they were angling for a sit down meal. This was swiftly denied. The Comic proposed that a spreadsheet could be designed whereupon the MOHGS could indicate their preferred culinary options. The Hon. Sec declared that he would personally take responsibility for this task.

The Croc was concerned that the dart board had gone missing from the snooker room and he and the Kid enjoyed the thrill of darting at the party. The Chair declared that an approach should be made to the appropriate authority, to establish the whereabouts of the board and to request its re-erection. Terry immediately declared that he would sort the problem. He left the room, established contact with the appropriate authority and returned within minutes, to report that the dart board had indeed been mislaid after recent refurbishment but he was on the case and would not rest until a resolution to the problem was found. The Chair who is renowned for prevarication, was startled by the swift action of Terry and warmly commended his initiative. This action drew a round of applause from the congregation who are not used to immediate resolutions and were expecting the dart board problem to run for several weeks.

St. Rappe proposed that we look at the possibility of obtaining Velcro darts which we could aim at each other if the excitement levels were dipping.

It was decided that the dress code for the party should be the MOHGS sweater and shirt, although Brains could still come dressed as Elvis if he felt the urge.

CHAIRMAN’S QUAICH: The Chair revealed his Quaich, to much jocularity by the boys. He posed the question as to what he should do with it. Titter titter. Should there be a match play competition? The Cardinal suggested that this could be problematic and proposed a one off competition on the first occasion that the white tees become available. T.M offered to organise a match play if this was the desired option. The Chair pondered and then packed his Quaich away and declared that we needed more time to consider the dilemma.

The Chair has suspended his son Noel from all MOHG activity for a period of two weeks after it came to light that Noel’s wife had likened the MOHGS to the cast of Dads Army. No doubt she perceived her father-in-law as  the incontinent Private Godfrey or even the bumbling Corporal Jones but either way, the Chair wanted to send out a clear message that he was not willing to have the good name of the MOHGS besmirched.

The Chair was reprimanded for not using his maul at all meeting, since it was the ideal tool for keeping good order.

More of the polo shirts were distributed.

The Croc declared that all nicknames should be bottomed out at the AGM. Soapy urged T.M to consider his options and come up with a few ideas for a name.

The Chair enquired of the Treasurer as to what if any subsidy would be available for the Christmas festivities. The Cardinal assured him that he would give it some thought.

Mr. B.H and Mr. A.M are representing the MOHGS in this year’s Movember appeal. The Cardinal assured everyone that donations could be made on line or in person if preferred.

Tee off times next week will be 48, 56 & 04, thanks to the continual diligence of the Rabbi.

MEETING CLOSED AT 1.30.

BURT(Hon. Sec.)

PRESENT: P.F, R.H, F.B, D.F, J.G, G.W, T.M, K.S, P.L. Davie G. walked the course.

APOLOGIES: P.B, Biggles, Jethro, C.M.

RESULTS: The Comic was DoD with 25 points. DDoD was El Matador with 27 points. The runner up with 37 points was T.M. The winner on 39 points was the ever popular Rabbi. One 2 was posted by T.M who pouched £1.80 from today’s contributions but who is entitled to a further shed load of cash which is being held by the Cardinal and the Straggler.

TOASTS: To those who lost their lives in the Great Wars.

To NU who recorded their 5th. win on the bounce.

To Gateshead and Blyth Spartans for victories in the FA Cup.

LAST WEEK’S MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED AS A TRUE RECORD.

MATTERS ARISING: Thanks were extended to Delboy for providing the polo shirts on such reasonable terms. All recipients admitted that they were very pleased with the merchandise.

Mr. D.F is not actually in Oz, as last week’s minutes suggested.

BUSINESS OF THE DAY: T.M apologised for missing out on the Christmas party, since he will be travelling to Jamaica on vacation.

J.G will be unavailable next week.

Jocks announced that C.M should be available on Wednesday.

Kwok took charge of this week’s swear money, 60p.

The tees are booked for their usual times next Monday.

There being no other business, the meeting closed at 12.50.

BURTY KWOK ( Hon. Sec.)

PRESENT: K.S, G.W, P.L, P.F, F.B, B.H, T.M.

APOLOGIES: Jethro, the Comic, Brains, Biggles, Crocs and the Falcon.

RESULTS: No 2’s were posted. On 26 points, the DoD was Kwok. DDoD was St. Rappe with 32 points. Runners up with 34 points apiece were T.M, F.B and P.L. The winner with a more than creditable 36 points was the ever popular El Matador. The Chair was fined 50p for not wearing his MOHGS sweater. He was reluctant to pay since he claimed to be wearing a MOHG polo shirt and insisted that this was permissible. There was much shaking of heads and mutterings until the Chair broke the ice and cut through the knot by admitting that he wasn’t actually wearing a MOHG polo shirt and that his prevarication was indeed a sham to save himself from paying the 50p fine. He laughed rather sheepishly before declaring that it was time to move on. He pouched £1.50 in swears and fines and £1.40 in 2’s cash to be carried forward.

TOASTS: To Newcastle United for a fine victory over Liverpool which continues a 4 match unbeaten run.

To Jethro, to wish him a speedy recovery from the broken leg which he suffered during a recent visit to Centre Parcs.

To Biggles, who is beginning 3 weeks of rehab after cruciate knee ligament problems.

To poor old Acker Bilk who is now a stranger on the shore in Heaven.

To Terry Minett who retired last week and played his first game with the MOHGS today.

Last week’s minutes were accepted as a true record.

MATTER’S ARISING: The Bowling Day which was scheduled for Friday will now be deferred until early next year, since D.F was unfortunately compelled to fly to Oz at short notice.

The Chair was proud to announce the arrival of the polo shirts. He then rather manfully delved into a large box and began to distribute the shirts to their respective recipients. Much joy filled the room. The cost of the shirts was a very modest £20 plus VAT, which came in at £24.

The away day to the Bridal Path is on hold until the return of Crocs, who is absent with a bad back, temporarily. As one wag put it, ” Crocs is crocked!”

BUSINESS OF THE DAY: St. Rappe was clean shaven on November 1st and is only just beginning to show tiny bristles on his upper lip.

The Chair was anxious about the bar staying open for a lock in on the day of the Christmas Party. He announced that there would have to be negotiation with the new bar manager. Terry Minett jumped immediately into the breach and received an affirmative nod from Charlene, the recently installed bar lady. The meeting ended at this point on a relatively happy note at 1.30.

Tees are booked for next week at 8.48, 8.56 and 9.04.

BURT ( Hon. Sec.)