PRESENT: P.F, P.B, T.M, F.B, B.H, P.L, K.S, D.F, C.M.

APOLS: Biggles, J.G, E.E, H.C.

RESULTS: DoD with a miserly 27 points was poor old Kwok. DDoD was the equally pathetic Francis with 29 points. The runner up with a majestic 37 points was the Croc. Winner of the week on an unassailable 39 points was the personable Soc. Sec., the ever popular Cardinal.

No 2’s were posted and T.M is beginning to wonder if he will ever see the bulk of his winnings from two weeks ago. The Cardinal promised to trawl through historic data in order to ascertain the true worth of Terry’s poke. The Chair has been pouching 2’s and swears cash for several weeks and is pleading dumb as to the actual amount he owes. The Hon. Sec. on the other hand has admitted pouching 60p in swears.

TOASTS: To little Burty Kwok in recognition of his award of the Bob Amos Trophy last week.

A retrospective toast was proposed to the Chair on the event of his 69th. birthday, last week.

LAST WEEKS MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED AS A TRUE RECORD.

There were no matters arising.

BUSINESS OF THE DAY: The Cardinal triumphantly declared that he had booked the buffet but declared with a flourish that he wiped his hands of any decision as regards the content thereof. He then produced a menu which indicated that there was a wide range of food available for varying prices. Soapy, unilaterally and unreservedly stated that money should be no object and that we should go gourmet and seek quality produce. Five savoury items per person would cost £8.50 each. Eight savoury items would be £10.50 pp. Twelve savoury items would command a massive £14.50pp. The two members of the executive seemed to be in accord throughout the meeting and the Cardinal suggested that they were angling for a sit down meal. This was swiftly denied. The Comic proposed that a spreadsheet could be designed whereupon the MOHGS could indicate their preferred culinary options. The Hon. Sec declared that he would personally take responsibility for this task.

The Croc was concerned that the dart board had gone missing from the snooker room and he and the Kid enjoyed the thrill of darting at the party. The Chair declared that an approach should be made to the appropriate authority, to establish the whereabouts of the board and to request its re-erection. Terry immediately declared that he would sort the problem. He left the room, established contact with the appropriate authority and returned within minutes, to report that the dart board had indeed been mislaid after recent refurbishment but he was on the case and would not rest until a resolution to the problem was found. The Chair who is renowned for prevarication, was startled by the swift action of Terry and warmly commended his initiative. This action drew a round of applause from the congregation who are not used to immediate resolutions and were expecting the dart board problem to run for several weeks.

St. Rappe proposed that we look at the possibility of obtaining Velcro darts which we could aim at each other if the excitement levels were dipping.

It was decided that the dress code for the party should be the MOHGS sweater and shirt, although Brains could still come dressed as Elvis if he felt the urge.

CHAIRMAN’S QUAICH: The Chair revealed his Quaich, to much jocularity by the boys. He posed the question as to what he should do with it. Titter titter. Should there be a match play competition? The Cardinal suggested that this could be problematic and proposed a one off competition on the first occasion that the white tees become available. T.M offered to organise a match play if this was the desired option. The Chair pondered and then packed his Quaich away and declared that we needed more time to consider the dilemma.

The Chair has suspended his son Noel from all MOHG activity for a period of two weeks after it came to light that Noel’s wife had likened the MOHGS to the cast of Dads Army. No doubt she perceived her father-in-law as  the incontinent Private Godfrey or even the bumbling Corporal Jones but either way, the Chair wanted to send out a clear message that he was not willing to have the good name of the MOHGS besmirched.

The Chair was reprimanded for not using his maul at all meeting, since it was the ideal tool for keeping good order.

More of the polo shirts were distributed.

The Croc declared that all nicknames should be bottomed out at the AGM. Soapy urged T.M to consider his options and come up with a few ideas for a name.

The Chair enquired of the Treasurer as to what if any subsidy would be available for the Christmas festivities. The Cardinal assured him that he would give it some thought.

Mr. B.H and Mr. A.M are representing the MOHGS in this year’s Movember appeal. The Cardinal assured everyone that donations could be made on line or in person if preferred.

Tee off times next week will be 48, 56 & 04, thanks to the continual diligence of the Rabbi.

MEETING CLOSED AT 1.30.

BURT(Hon. Sec.)