PRESENT: P.F, D.F, K.S, J.G, P.L, G.W, B.H, T.M, T.H.

APOLOGIES: Falcon, Straggler, Jethro, Biggles, Cardinal, Crocs.

RESULTS: There were no 2’s posted. The DoD was El Mat with 25 points. The Rabbi was DDoD with 32 points. Runners up were the Laird and St. Rappe with 36 points apiece. The winner and this weeks champine was the ever popular Geezer with 37 points. The Geezer informed the group that Mr. B.H missed a sitter of a putt on the last hole which would have given him a share of the lead. Strap with his usual good nature, laughed this off—–through gritted teeth.

FINANCES: There was £1.20 in swears. The 2’s money carried forward was £1.80. The Geezer’s cards realised a total of £2.80——– Soapy(40p), Laird(20p), Kwok(20p), Brains(60p), El Mat(40p), Strappe(60p), Geezer(20p), Mr. McKay(20p).

The President praised the Geezer for the introduction of the cards which he remarked, not only added to the conviviality of the occasion, but also increased the kitty for use in future jaunts.

T.H, J.G and G.W, offered their excuses and left early.

THE RABBI ASSUMED RESPONSIBILITY FOR CHAIRING THE MEETING.

LAST WEEK’S  MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED AS A TRUE RECORD.

DALMAHOY: Owing to the fact that St. Rappe was unable to attend the away day, there was general agreement that another date should be sought.However, this may not be possible if the Cardinal has already booked the venue. To his credit, Strappe, remarked that he was aware that there would never be a date which was suitable for everyone and that he was prepared to bite the bullet if the Cardinal had completed the booking.

QUAICH: The Comp. Sec. has devised a schedule for the competition which he will attach to the minutes. The first game should be completed by May 4 and the second round by June 15. The semi final should be played by August 24 and the final by September 28. All games should be played if possible on Mondays. The competition could begin as early as next week, depending upon the availability of contestants.

The Comp. Sec was praised for his forward thinking and planning. It was observed that he is so efficient that we should change his nickname to Nissan. The Geezer offered the name Nismo, since this is Nissan’s latest top of the range model, which his wife has recently purchased.

TOASTS: To the Geezer and his colleagues who won last week’s Senior’s Comp, by a margin of a massive 9 strokes.

To the Tigers for their second consecutive win.

Geezer’s Cards: The ever efficient Comp. Sec. has carried out an analysis of the Cards, which was requested last week by Brains. He has added columns to his already crowded data results sheet, which he hopes to update weekly.

The Geezer, rather gallantly paid 20p to allow Strappe to berate the Laird for a perceived slight.

The Laird had very eagerly imbibed Soapy’s Bovril on the 10th tee and offered his thanks to Margaret who had unselfishly prepared the mixture for her lucky spouse.

Tee times for next week are, 8.48, 8.56 and 9.04.

There being no other business, the meeting closed at 1pm.

BURT E KWOK(Hon. Sec.)

PRESENT: F.B, P.L, T.M, D.F, K.S, P.B, P.F, J.G. G.W (attended meeting, didn’t not play).

The results were delayed because the Chair announced, ” We’re lacking Brains.” Once Brains appeared, the meeting began.

RESULTS: The Laird agreed to be guest Comp. Sec. due to the absence of St. Rap. He remarked that it had been a very competitive morning with some very close results. DoD were F.B and D.F with 40 points. The winners were P.F and P.L with 44 points. T.M and P.B had 42 points, whilst J.G and K.S had 41 points. Winners h/caps to be deducted one shot and losers increased by one shot. There were 2×2’s by Soapy and the Cardinal who shared a pot of £1.60.

GEEZER’S CARDS: F.B(20p), P.B(40p), T.M(20p), P.F(40p), J.G(60p)——-£1.80.

Brains reckoned that the Geezers Cards are biased against the high h/cappers and would like an analysis of the results to prove/disprove his theory.

There was 60p in swears. The Chair reluctantly coughed up all monies which he had been holding for safekeeping during the absence of the Fin. Sec. A total of £6.60 was begrudgingly extracted.

APOLOGIES: Minto, Hallett, Evans.

LAST WEEK’S MINUTES ACCEPTED AS A TRUE RECORD OF EVENTS.

The date of the proposed away day to Dalmahoy has been changed to 10 May owing to the Soc. Sec., being involved in a competition for the Seniors in his new role as Captain on 18 May. It was deemed important that he was supported by the MOHGS in view of his recent elevated status. The President, with typical generosity of spirit proposed the change of date. He will attempt to attend the venue but will be obliged to return home early on Monday morning to attend a prior engagement. Ten members signified genuine interest in attending, with the possibility of the Kid, Snooty, Desmond and Kwok junior also turning out.

There followed the draw for the CHAIRMAN’S QUAICH.

The Cardinal v The Falcon

The Straggler—–Bye

The Geezer v Brains

The Rabbi——-Bye

Croc O’ Dile v Desmond

Jock St. Rappe—-Bye

Soapy v The Laird

Delboy v Kwok

ANY OTHER BUSINESS: The Chair remarked that he had observed that there appeared to be a sub group of MOHGS, whom he referred to as shopkeepers, because they play regularly on Wednesdays. He indicated that he felt snubbed, since he had been dropped by the group and was forced to find solace in the company of sundry others. The Laird opined that it was the Chairs own fault since he had insisted on playing later in the day.

The Chair was castigated by Kwok for telling tales and snitching on Kwok over alleged swearing misdemeanours. The Chair offered no signs of remorse and indeed paid 20p in advance before calling Kwok a ” Little turd.” Kwok responded by paying 20p in advance before telling the Chair to ” F#### off.”

Tee times next week 8.56 & 9.04. The Rabbi was thanked for booking the tee times.

BURT E KWOK (Hon. Sec)

PRESENT: P.F, K.S, D.F, J.G, T.H( left early), T.M, F.B, C.M, B.H,P.L.

APOLOGIES: Biggles, El Mat, Jethro, Cardinal, Falcon.

RESULTS: There were 2 x 2’s, both by the esteemed Laird on the 8th and 14th. He received a total of £4, including last week’s pot. DoD was Soapy with 34 points. DDoD were the Rabbi, Crocs and Mr. McKay with 39 points. On 43 points, the runners up were Strap and Brains. The winner for the second successive week was the indefatigable, affable, silver surfer, the Laird, with an incredible 46 points.

TOASTS: To the England rugby team for their win against the odds over Wales.

To Kwok’s son, Mark for gaining promotion and a move to Cambridge.

Geezer’s cards realised a total of £2.20——- B.H(20p), P.F(20p), P.L(60p), J.G(40p), K.S(40p), D.F(20p), T.H(20p). The swears money was £2. The Chair is holding the cash during the absence of the Treasurer.

LAST WEEK’S MINUTED WERE ACCEPTED AS A TRUE RECORD.

Kwok was thanked for his accurate and incisive reporting.

MATTERS ARISING: It was decided that we should put our eggs in the one basket and plump for 17 May as the preferred date for the away trip to Dalmahoy. The Chair castigated the MOHGS for their dilatory response, since only 3 people had signified an interest. He insisted that participants MUST confirm their attendance this week in order that the Cardinal can book the venue in good time.

SOAPY’S DAY: The Competition date for the Soap Dish was confirmed as June 8th. Soapy further confirmed that he would post money behind the bar for a drink for all competitors. For a brief moment it was expected that the Chair would match the President, £ for £, but the Chair categorically claimed that this would not be the case and that he would not be forking out on this occasion. Will food be available? This will be bottomed out in a future meeting. The Chair is fast approaching a significant milestone in life’s journey, his 70th birthday. It was suggested that there should be a commemorative game to celebrate this momentous occasion but the Chair was reluctant to divulge the date. This story has legs and will no doubt run.

PLEASANT MAN: Apropos nothing, the Chair produced a moth eaten letter from his pocket and gave the secretary, Kwok, leave to read its contents to the group. The letter it transpired was from the Chair’s plastic surgeon which gave him a clear bill of health, but what was surprising was his description of the Chair as a ” PLEASANT MAN.” Eyebrows were raised and it was generally agreed that there was scant evidence of this pleasantness in his demeanour on the course. It was also agreed that the surgeon was in urgent need of a refresher course since he appears to have been taken in hook, line and sinker by the wily old codger.

TIME FOR A CHANGE: It appears that the strain of high office has taken its toll on the Chair. He confessed that he is running out of steam and is looking forward to the day when he can step aside and allow a younger buck to take over the reins. Brains observed that this could be an attention seeking ploy and so the subject was left hanging.

HIGH SCORES: The Geezer remarked on the proliferation of high scores over the last couple of weeks and the difficulty of making a few bob in such a competitive school. The Chair, with typical insight, concluded that the course was much shorter at the moment, therefore good scores were there for the taking.

QUAICH: The draw for the competition for the Quaich must be made next week. The Cardinal should now be in receipt of the names and the entrance fees of all prospective competitors and is respectfully requested to produce the list at the next meeting when the draw will be conducted by St. Rappe.

There being no other business, the meeting closed at 1.15pm.

BURT (Hon. Sec.)

PRESENT: D.F, T.M, F.B, P.F, P.L, B.H, J.G, C.M, T.H( left early), K.S, E.E.

APOLOGIES: D.G, Cardinal, Falcon, Biggles and El Mat.

RESULTS: No 2’s were posted. The DoD and DDoD were Brains on 28 points and Strap on anything between 13 and 29, since he only played 12 holes on account that he slept in. The Geezer was the runner up with 40 points. The winner and riding the crest of a wave like an Australian surfer was the affable Laird with a magnificent 42 points.

TOASTS: Rory McIlroy for winning the Dubai Open.

To the Magpies for victory over Hull.

To the linesman for spotting a handball which ruled out a goal for Hull.

To all the NE football league teams who won every game this week.

To Jethro who made an appearance this week and is looking forward to a return to playing in April.

FINANCES: Due to the absence of the Fin. Sec., the Chair agreed to hold on to today’s cash. The 2’s money totalled £2. There was £1.60 in swears. The Geezer’s cards realised a total of £2.40——— Chair(60p), Crocs(20p), Geezer(20p), Strap(40p), Rabbi(40p), Laird(20p), Brains(40p). The President congratulated the Geezer for his money making idea and confessed that he had donated £1 in swears which he had only thought but never actually uttered, when his trolley took off and narrowly missed an oncoming car in the car park, prior to the game. Soapy could give Kim Sears a run for her money any day of the week.

LAST WEEK’S MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED WITH THE  FOLLOWING AMENDMENTS:

The Straggler did not pay for Snooty’s entrance fee for the Quaich. Rain check should apparently have been rain cheque.

The Chair was censured by the President for physically assaulting the Secretary with his maul and causing actual bodily harm to the head region of the unfortunate Kwok. This action may have caused the Secretary to be vague in his recollection of subsequent events, unlike his razor sharp reporting of previous minutes.

MATTER’S ARISING: The Chair appealed for urgent action to complete arrangements for the Dalmahoy trip. The preferred date was considered to be the weekend of the 17 May with the 10 May as the fallback option. All participants are requested to email the ” Reply all” section on the menu, to alert fellow MOHGS as well as  the Social Sec. who will then collate the figures and make the necessary arrangements.

Soapy thanked all the MOHGS who had played at the Bridle Path on Friday. The course was judged to be good but the bacon sandwiches took the biscuit. Crocs was thanked for organising the event and he intimated that he was willing to organise another event if there was sufficient interest.

Geezers cards: It was decided that the person who has the HIGHEST score above 6 on a hole, should receive the card and not the LAST person who scores more than 6.

There was a gentle reminder that MOHGS sweaters or polo shirts should be worn on all away days on penalty of hefty fines.

Tee times for next week are as per.

There being no other business, the meeting closed at 1.25pm.

BURT E. KWOK(Hon. Sec.)