PRESENT: M.M, B.H, F.B, K.S, A.B-W, E.E, P.L, H.C, G.A, C.M, P.B, D.F, P.F, B.Y, T.M, J.G.

RESULTS: One 2 was carded by lucky old Crocs who pocketed a whole heap of cash. DoD was a rather forlorn Kwok with a measly 25 points. The Geezer was close on his heels as DDoD with 26 points. There were 3 runners up in the form of Prof, Soapy and Crocs all with 35 points. The winner was the affable Shagpile with 36 points. There was much discussion as to whether or not, the Chair should be totally or only partially humiliated after the Comp. Sec. revealed that he had played off the wrong h/cap. The Chair threatened to fire the Comp. Sec., who in turn decided to resign before he was pushed. The President attempted to appease the situation but only managed to pour oil on troubled waters. An atmosphere of uncertainty and acrimony hung heavy in the air. Has the Chair lost all credibility? Is the Comp. Sec. still with portfolio? The meeting progressed and the Chair continued manfully to steer the ship through choppy waters but had been holed below the waterline and struggled to hold his course.

GEEZER’S CARDS: F.B(20p), K.S(60p), A.B-W(60p), E.E(60p), P.L(20p), J.G(20p), C.M(20p), P.B(60p), P.F(40p), B.Y(20p), M.M(40p)——£4.20.

TOASTS: To the Geezer who won the Seniors Comp. 2 weeks ago.

To the Prof and Laird who won last week’s Seniors.

To Jessica Ennis Hill and Mo Farah for winning gold medals at the World Championships.

LAST WEEK’S MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED.

MATTER’S ARISING: There was confusion as to the monicker of Geoff Ainsley. The President admitted that as the only octogenarian, he was entitled to senior moments and he may have had a part to play in the uncertainty over Geoff’s nickname. He then revealed that the Chair was responsible for non de plume ” Windscale,” which in his opinion was a master stroke of lateral thinking by the Chair.

BOWLING: The Laird declared that arrangements were well in hand for the Bowling day in Gosforth on Thursday of this week. There are 8 interested parties who should attend at 10.45 for an 11 o’ clock kick off. Flat shoes should be worn. Access to the Green can be gained by the road to the Newcastle side of the Loch Fyne. The Chair described the Bowling Green in glowing terms as the Lairds little haven. Someone else added, “Without the caravans.”

MOHGS v DD: The Comp. Sec. announced that the DD cannot raise a dozen, whereas the MOHGS can muster more than a baker’s dozen. Therefore the Chair has agreed rather gallantly to represent the opposition on this occasion in order to keep both teams equal. The colour drained from Brain’s cheeks upon hearing this news, since he has been struggling with the formation and pairings of his team for the past two weeks. He rather belligerently accepted that his plans were in disarray and it was back to the drawing board in order to adjust his pairings due to the Chairs deflection to the opposition camp.

HUNLEY HALL: The Comp.Sec., rather chivalrously, took it upon himself to enquire about the availability of HUNLEY for the dates of 20 and 21 Sept. He was perturbed to discover that the venue is fully booked for those dates. The Chair insisted that the Soc. Sec. would therefore be obliged to look at other dates which might be more suitable. The Comp. Sec. replied in no uncertain terms that in his opinion, the Soc. Sec. had more than enough on his plate, running the Seniors and should not be expected to take on more work. Kwok ventured rather nervously that the Chair himself might like to make a few enquiries. The Chair replied with a barrage of expletives. The Chair pulled himself together and delegated the job to the Comp. Sec. The Comp. Sec. declined categorically to be the patsy and unequivocally announced that he was not for turning. It looks as though HUNLEY is off.

AOB: Jock St. Rappe attended today’s meeting, looking resplendent in knee length breeches. The Geezer suggested a whip round for some fake tan, to give his legs a glow.

It was suggested that in future, if there are large numbers attending on a Monday and if the number is divisible by 4, it may be prudent to play Texas Scramble.

There was a proposal that if a member took two shots to escape a bunker and was in receipt of a Geezer card, he should pay twice. The proposal was rejected unanimously.

CHRISTMAS PARTY: The Chair has sampled the delights of the Wetherspoons menu and proposed the venue as worthy of consideration for the Christmas bash. Failing this he was in favour of returning to the culinary delights of the shared table, however this would not be possible under the clubs present catering arrangements.

RECRUITMENT: Soapy admitted that he is not actively recruiting at the moment but he was pleased to welcome his latest cohort to the group. The Comp. Sec. reminded the assembled throng that the philosophy of the society was built on the premise that a warm welcome would be extended to all who wished to become involved and that we were an open house, not a closed door.

Jethro will be absent for the next 4 weeks. It was good to see him back today after a long period of convalescence.

Tee times next week—– 8.40, 48, 56, 04.

BURT(Hon. Sec.)

PRESENT: F.B. P.B. D.F. J.G. R.H. P.L. C.M. E.E. A.B-W. M.M. J.P.

APOLOGIES: P.F.  G.W. H.C. T.M. A.L. B.Y. Note : K.S. Played but left before the meeting.

RESULTS: No 2s posted therefore the proceeds were handed over to the Cardinal for safe keeping. Duffers of the Day were Team Crocs\Shagpile [C.M.\ M.M.] with  a miserly 34 points. Their handicaps will be increased by 1 to 12 & 15 respectively. In joint 2nd place with 38 points were Teams Jocks \ Rabbi [R.H. \ P.L.] The Cardinal \ The Laird [P.B. \ D.F.] & Paxo \ Shotgun [A.B-W. \ J.P. ] and the overall winners were Team Straggler \Brains [F.B \ J.G.]  with a respectable 40 points and will have their handicaps reduced by 1 to 9 & 29.

TOASTS: To “Paxo” on his 1st of and [we hope] many sorties with the Mohgs.

To Andy Murray  for his victory over Novak Djokovic.

The Tigers for their wily efforts in restricting the Wolves to a share of the points in their own back yard.

Australian Jason Day for his victory in the last “major” of the season – The US PGA.

LAST WEEKS MINUTES were accepted as a true record though the Straggler spluttered something about Geoff Ainsley’s nickname [Windscale] of which there was in fact no mention in the minutes.

MATTERS ARISING:

Bowling Day : The Laird confirmed that the bowling will commence at 11.00 a.m. on Thursday 27th August at the Gosforth Bowling Green. Of those present C.M.,D.F.,R.H. & F.B. confirmed their attendance. C.M. will contact V.P. &  others not at the meeting would of course be welcome and should let the Laird know of their intentions. Flat shoes or pumps will be required and is expected that we will partake in refreshments in the local hostelries following the sport.

Hunley Hall : Rabbi, Brains, Crocs, Jocks, the Laird and the Straggler wished to be included. Others who wish to be included should confirm forthwith to the Straggler who, possibly with the help of the Cardinal is arranging this event. The proposed dates are Sun. 20th – Mon. 21st September. Note : interest has been shown by Bluewatch.

GEEZER’S CARDS: JB/DF (60p), JP/AB-W (60p).CM/MM(60p), KS/EE (40p), FB/JG (40p) PL/RH (20p) Total – £2.80.

TEE TIMES NEXT WEEK: Tee booked next Monday @ 8.40,8.48,8.56 & 9.04 am.

Meeting closed about 13.45 pm.

Jock St Rappe

Acting Hon. Sec.

P.S. If anyone has Jim Paxton’s e mail please forward this to him.

PRESENT: A.B-W, C.M, G.W (left early), B.Y (left early), J.G, P.F, F.B, K.S, A.L, P.L, B.H, H.C, T.M, E.E (present for meeting but didn’t play).

APOLOGIES: The Laird and the Cardinal. The Cardinal will be playing later in the day with his chums.

RESULTS: B.Kwok was the DoD with a miserable 24 points. The DDoD with 26 points was Biggles. There were three runners up all with 37 points, the Falcon, Brains and the Prof. The winner and champine of the day was the ever popular Geezer with a magnificent score of 38 points.

TOASTS: To the Cardinal who was the winner of the Les Wigham Trophy last week.

To Mark Wood from Ashington who scooped the final wicket in the Ashes Test Series.

To the whole Ashes team who beat the crap out of the Aussies. In particular to Stokes, Root, Broad and Cook.

To Shane Lowry who won the Bridgestone Invitation.

To the British Swimming team who won a whole heap of medals.

To Jethro who is fit and healthy and ready to step back into the cauldron of competitive golf next week.

LAST WEEKS MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED AS A TRUE RECORD. SOAPY WAS THANKED FOR STANDING IN FOR THE ABSENT KWOK AND CONTINUING THE TREND OF NOBLE REPORTING.

MATTERS ARISING:

The Southport jaunt now has 9 committed competitors. Soapy referred to his recent well thought out encyclical for details of cost, sleeping arrangements and tee off times. He admitted that there is still work to be done but is confident that, barring untoward and unforeseen obstacles, the event will be memorable and continue the long line of expeditions which continue to enrich MOHG folklore.

The Strap presented the erstwhile captain, Brains, with a list of MOHGS who will do battle in the DD game on 14 Sept. Brains was faced with the challenge of pairing the MOHGS for the contest. Brains puffed out his chest in a show of bravado and then furrowed his brow as he took in the enormity of the task and the weight of expectation which had been placed on his shoulders.

The Laird was absent therefore no progress on the bowling day.

The Chair intimated that he found himself suffering from Hunley Hall withdrawal symptoms and that his need would only be satiated when a date could be decided for a visit. It was therefore proposed that 21 September would be the obvious choice and all competitors should signify their intentions next week.

GEEZER’S CARDS: K.S(40p), H.C(20p), C.M(40p), J.G(20p), G.W(20p), B.Y(20p), P.L(60p), B.H(20p), P.F(20p), A.L(40p).———£3.00.

TEE TIMES NEXT WEEK: AN important announcement by the Rabbi, revealed that due to a ladies match, the tee times next week will be—-8.32, 8.40, 8.48 and 8.56. He urged all participants to be punctual.

The Geezer and Kwok apologised for their absences next week.

There being no other business, the meeting closed at 1.40pm.

Bur T Kwok( Hon Sec.)

Present: The Chairman FB (the Straggler), NB (Desmond), A B-W (Shotgun), DF (the Laird), JG (Brains), BH (Jockstrap), PL (the Rabbi), MM (Shagpile), TM (the Geezer), CM (the Crocodile), KS (Soapy), GW (El Matador), BY (the Prof)

Results: All the above named competed for the MOHGS Annual Championship 2015, over the white course, aptly described by the Chairman as our Blue Riband Event, and there were times that the wind did indeed echo a sailing contest. The winner was Crocs, on count back from the Laird (2nd), both achieving 33 points.

Duffers of the Day were Desmond and Shotgun with 25 points, and Deputy Duffers with 26 points were Brains, Jockstrap, and Soapy. The handicaps of all 7 above named members will be adjusted accordingly. There were no 2’s on the day.

The Trophy was presented to Crocs by Brains, who made an eloquent and moving speech – he was sad to relinquish it, but his triumph in 2014 is permanently engraved for posterity.

Absentees: the few who could not attend were not formally named, but all were missed.

Toasts: to Jockstrap for the splendid organisation of our recent match against Beamish Dirty Dozen; to the Morpeth green staff for the condition of the course and especially the greens; to our Chairman for his very close result in the Scratch Competition against Michael Brown (ex County player); to the England Cricket team for their roaring come back in the 3rd Test; to Crocs for being our Champion Golfer of 2015; to the Geezer for his generosity in sharing his courtesy golf openings with MOHGS.

Minutes: taken as read, and readily accepted.

Finance: The Rabbi assumed responsibility for the funds. He had brought £4.50, and the day’s proceedings added £7.30 from swears and cards, with a further £2.60 in the two’s.

Beamish Away on 14th September: we needed a Captain for MOHGS in this match, and Brains was unanimously elected. Jocks then clarified attendees and their various requirements. He has the whole organisation at his fingertips, as always. It seems that he now has the full complement.

Bowls Day: The Laird has provisionally arranged two dates, Tuesday 25th August or Thursday 27th August. WOULD ALL INTIMATE TO HIM THAT THEY WISH TO ATTEND, AND THEIR PREFERRED DATE?

Formby & Southport: This outing is on October 4th and 5th. At present, booking is made for 9 golfers, and this could be increased up to 12. Changes in numbers can be made up to 21st August, and I am away w/c 17th. My current list is 7 definites – FB, JB (John Beaton ‘Del Boy’), JG, BH, PL, CM, KS,  and 2 possibles DF and TM, with interest from MM and A B-W, and perhaps other Morpeth golfers?  CAN ALL CONFIRM THEIR OK? We arrive at Formby Hall for 3 tee times from 2-12 pm. We stay there overnight with dinner, bed and breakfast. This whole package is £109 (5 are booked at £89). CM has a single room which is +£35. On the Monday we are guests of Noel McQueen (Barney Rubble) and his mates at Southport and Ainsdale, for a match from approximately 10 am. Playing with members will cost us £20-25, a lot less than the usual high green fees for this championship course.

Tee Times: In view of current numbers, an extra tee time will be booked in future. PL needs additional entry codes and passwords, and several members obliged.

Christmas Party: a member wished to discuss this, but the Chairman wisely and firmly ruled that it is for later discussion.

Any Other Business: Shagpile announced that he knows where to get special deals on a good night out. This turns out to be Wansbeck Rotary’s 25th anniversary at the Holiday Inn on 30th Oct, with referee Mark Clattenberg as speaker.

Quitting Time: the Chairman closed the meeting at 14-16 hours, surely a record late finish.

Soapy the scribe.