PRESENT: P.B, F.B, K.S, A.B-W, M.M, P.F, C.M, A.M, J.G, G.A, P.L, B.Y, B.H.

The President, rather  gallantly distributed a very good quality box of mints which had been donated for the occasion by his daughter in law with the inscription “Grumpy old Gits mints.” The members were then regaled with a glass of hot punch which hit the spot and set the scene for more Christmas hilarity. The President revealed that he had shared a Christmas flask of whisky with the Comp. Sec. during their round of golf and he was now 3 sheets to the wind.

RESULTS: There was one 2 by Brains on the FIRST hole. Yes I said the FIRST HOLE. DoD was the Kid with 20 points. I said 20. DDoD was the Cardinal with 21 points. Runner up was the Prof with 28 points. The winner of the Christmas Plate with a grand total of 29 points was the indefatigable and ever popular Shotgun.

The President presented the Plate to Shotgun. He then presented the Quaiche to Jocks and the Chalice to Crocs. Crocs was the Golfer of the Year, with the best eclectic score of the year.

All trophies were in pristine condition, save for the Plate, which in the opinion of Tommy Cassidy had been maltreated. The twat.

THE MINUTES OF LAST YEARS AGM WERE ACCEPTED AS A TRUE RECORD.

MATTERS ARISING: The President was keen to know when the Whitley Bay trip would be organised. The Chair again kept his powder dry.

STATEMENT BY THE CHAIR: The Chairman named and thanked all the officers of the society for their continued pursuit of excellence. He hailed Brains for his new initiative in compiling a diary of events. Shagpile indicated that he would be prepared to continue the good work of diary secretary next year. He also welcomed the new members- Shaggers, Winker, Winscales, Paxo and Shotgun. He spoke warmly about the away days and thanked the organisers. He thought that we should look northwards for future away days and bemoaned the fact that we were unable to visit Hunley Hall this year. He insisted that he would personally ensure that we visit Whitley Bay next year. He finished his speech with a toast to Her Majesty which has now become an annual ritual and end to his musings.

FINANCIAL REPORT: The Fin. Sec. declared with a flourish that today’s meal would be paid for from the contents of the swear box. He was delighted to report that swearing had increased exponentially and the Geezers cards had also swelled the kitty. He further reported hat there was a reasonable reserve of £80 in the box. It was decided that due to the extremely healthy financial situation, we would donate £25 towards the cost of the bar refurbishment.

COMP. SEC. REPORT: There were 52 competitions this year. The Rabbi was top attender    with 45 tournaments under his belt. B. Kwok was the most successful contestant with 9 wins and 3 runners up places to his credit. Crocs had the most 2’s, followed by the Laird. Crocs was the eclectic champ with an average win/game, including 2’s, of £1.79.

He listed the away days and reported that all venues and outcomes had been very enjoyable in different ways. He listed the winners of all events and the paper copy of his musings is available for inspection c/o the Hon. Sec. One event of note was the inaugural competition for the Chair’s Quaiche which was won by the Comp. Sec. himself.

The Comp. sec. congratulated all winners and reflected that the year had been memorable and enjoyable. He was pleased with the h/cap system.

The best Comp. Sec. we have ever had, finished his statement with a veritable bombshell by announcing that this would be his last year in post and that next year he intended to step aside and allow a new member to take over the reins.

ELECTION OF OFFICERS FOR 2016: All current officers were re-elected en bloc for the 2016 season.

TOASTS: To Colin Montgomery, Jamie Donaldson, Blyth Spartans, NUFC and all our absent friends.

The meeting closed at 3.05 and the Yuletide festivities began.

BURT E. KWOK(Hon. Sec.)

PRESENT: P.L, P.B, B.H, C.M, J.G, B.Y, F.B, K.S, P.F. — M.M attended meeting but did not play.

APOLOGIES: To all absent friends especially the Laird, the Geezer and Winker, who are all on long haul flights to far flung regions.

RESULTS: There were 2×2’s by the Straggler and Crocs. DoD was the unfortunate Cardinal with an almost respectable 30 points. DDoD was the Rabbi, with 33 points. The runner up on 40 points was Brains. The winner for the second consecutive week with 44 points was the indomitable Kwok, whose h/cap descends to its lowest ever point of 16, and now puts him in range of the big guns of the sport.

FINANCES: Crocs and Kwok were awarded £1.20 each which was due to them for last week’s 2’s comp. The Rabbi handed over £4.10 to the Treasurer which had been in safekeeping since last week. There was £2.60 in swears. The Fin. Sec, revealed that he is willing to subsidise next week’s Christmas party to the tune of £100. This news was greeted warmly by the members.

TOASTS: To all absent friends.

To the Kid and Crocs who successfully predicted the correct score and the scorers of the Newcastle v Liverpool match.

To the Comp. Sec. who won £4 from his Beamish buddies on the outcome of the same match.

CHRISTMAS PARTY: Some doubt was expressed as to whether or not, next week was THE Christmas Party. The President was in no doubt and assured the throng that his mince pies and mulled wine would be available to add a festive touch. The AGM agenda was accepted, as presented recently by the admirable Kwok. The Soc. Sec. declared with a flourish that chicken curry, nan bread and poppadoms would be available. A straw poll revealed that at least 9 people were committed. The Chair kept his powder dry.

The President was keen to have a New Year party when the boys are back in town.

The Rabbi has booked the tee for 10am next week.

The competition will be for the Christmas plate, using 3 clubs and putter over a shortened course, which may be dependent on weather conditions.

LAST WEEKS MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED. —- No matters arising.

EVENTS DIARY: Brains proposed that the MOHGS should give serious thought to drawing up an events diary for 2016. There was broad agreement that this was a top idea but that a certain amount of effort and dedication was needed to get the project up and running. After a deal of good natured banter, Brains agreed that since it was his idea, he was willing to begin compiling a diary but stressed that he didn’t envisage that this would be a permanent position and that others would be willing to take up the cudgels in subsequent years. Brains was given a gentleman’s agreement that this would indeed be the case.

AOB: The Crocodile revisited the thorny old debate about the damaged Christmas Plate, which for the last year has been in the safekeeping of Kwok, the current holder. Kwok declared emphatically that the trophy was in perfect condition when he passed it on to Crocs, who then delivered it for engraving to the former footballer Tommy Cassidy. Tommy C. informed Crocs that in his opinion someone had been chucking the Plate around like a frisbee and occasioned damage on the revered trophy. Apropos nothing, the Chair jumped in with both feet and declared that he was 99% convinced that Kwok was guilty of inflicting the damage. Kwok scoured the flint faced looks of his colleagues for some sign of solace or sympathy but none was forthcoming until the fair minded Cardinal suggested that it could possibly have been damaged whilst in transit from Crocs to Cassidy. Crocs shook his head in violent rebuttal and insisted that Kwok was the perpetrator of the monstrous act of desecration. The kangaroo court appeared to have made its decision. Kwok was hung out to dry.

NEWBIGGIN: Shagpile has made arrangements for a game on 18 Jan. The cost will be £12/person for a round of golf and a bacon sandwich, starting at 10am. He will be looking for definite numbers in the new year.

MORE AOB: The Chairman’s Quaiche and the desecrated Plate will be presented at the AGM.

Burt E. Kwok (Hon. Sec.)

PRESENT: B.Y, F.B, C.M, P.L, P.F, D.F.

Conditions were diabolical and the outlook was bleak but 6 brave souls turned for what  resulted in a truncated game of only 15 holes. The adverse weather conditions finally forced the gallant participants to forego a full round.

Apologies: All our absent friends.

RESULTS: Presented by the Laird. There were 2 x 2’s carded by Kwok and Crocs. DoD with 19 points was the Prof. DDoD was the Laird with 31 points. Crocs was runner up with 34 points. The outright winner with a magnificent 36 points was the indomitable Kwok. Other scores were,F.B—32, P.L—33.

FINANCES: The Laird, who will shortly embark on a 6 week holiday to Oz, admitted to holding £3.70 in swears and Geezer’s cards, which he promptly delivered to the safekeeping of the Rabbi. The President is owed 50p of this cash for a 2 which he scored recently but for which he was not paid.

TOASTS: To team GB for their recent victory in the Davis Cup.

To Jamie Vardy for his record of scoring in the last 11 premiership games.

To Tyson Fury for defeating a Klitchco on his way to the world heavyweight title.

LAST WEEKS MINUTES ACCEPTED AS A TRUE RECORD.

There were no matters arising.

CHRISTMAS PLATE: The Crocodile reported that there had been some damage to the Christmas Plate, whilst in the possession of the current holder, Kwok. Kwok denied all knowledge of the damage and furthermore, swore to the fact that it was in good nick when he handed it over to the Croc. One of life’s little mysteries? Or is there something more sinister afoot?

Christmas Party: The Rabbi will attempt to book the tee on 14 Dec. as near to 10am as possible.

The Chair at this point, wished Bon voyage to all the members who will shortly embark on their festive holidays, many to far flung places. He also remarked that there had been a very disappointing turnout for today’s game especially considering that today was the original date for the Christmas Party.

The President and Jethro arrived at this juncture but unfortunately the meeting had run out of legs and the Chair called time at 12.30.

BURT E. KWOK(Hon. Sec.)