The clubhouse is in its first phase of redevelopment which meant that access could only be gained through the ladies locker room. Luckily, the Rabbi knew all the door codes and although he was unsure of his bearings in the shower room, he did manage to plot a course to the safer confines of the bar.

It appears that some of the members wives were appalled at the choice of language in last week’s minutes and Kwok was cautioned for reverting to the vernacular on one occasion, through his use of the word a***. In future it would seem that in order to avoid similar malcontent among the female section of our readership that some form of encryption may be required. Anglo Saxon terminology will therefore continue to be applied but only in extreme cases and asterisks will be used in place of significant letters in order to avoid further embarrassment to the sensibilities of the fairer s**.

The Laird was nominated as today’s chairman due to the absence of the Straggler who is down the smoke on business.

PRESENT: P.F, P.L, T.M, M.C, B.Y, R.H(non- playing), P.B, J.G, C.M, D.F, G.A, G.W, M.M, A.W.

RESULTS: There was 1×2 by El Mat who scooped the pot. DoD was the Prof with 25 points. DD’soD were Winscales and the Cardinal with 31 points apiece. The Laird was runner up with 44 points. Today’s winner with a magnificent 45 points was the indefatigable and ever popular Matador.

APOLOGIES: F.B, A.L, H.C, K.S.

TOASTS: The Prof, Kwoks and Shagpile who won last week’s senior’s competition.

To Shotgun who was a member of the victorious team at Newbiggin, last Tuesday.

LAST WEEKS MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED.

MATTERS ARISING:

* Tonight’s Injun at the Ahad will go ahead as planned. 10 members are due to attend and will meet at 4.30 in the County Hotel.

* Mr. Croc O’ Dile will book 3 tee times on 18 March for the Bridle Path at approximately 10ish. The bacon sarnie will be booked for after the game.

* Close House is booked. Members will play the Colt course at 10.30 on Monday and the  Filly course at 10.40 on Tuesday. No evening meal has been booked, therefore members have the option to remain in the clubhouse or go further afield for sustenance. The Comp. Sec asked for members preferences for the format of the contests. It was decided that better ball was the more desired option.

* Brains accepted deposits from the Hunley Hall gang. He has booked the venue for 12 competitors. The details are posted on his email.

** There are no updates on Beamish or Longhirst.

AOB: Bumpers will depart tomorrow, bound for Mexico, through the Trump wall if necessary. However he was dismayed to discover that there were no jumpers for Bumpers, due to the Chair being down the smoke on business. It appears that it will now be quite a while before Bumpers will receive the jumpers. Shagpile was also in a quandary since he was in receipt of a jumper but had been informed that it belonged to someone else and gave it for safekeeping to the Laird, since he will be incommunicado for several weeks, touring the States. Both were assured that they will be immune from fines until the Chair gets his a*** back, to attend to business here rather than business down the smoke.

* Tee off times for next week as per.

APOLOGIES: Bumpers away for next 2 weeks. El Mat absent for next 3 weeks. Shaggers away for next 4 weeks.

There being no further business, the meeting closed at 1pm.

BURT E KWOK (Hon. Sec.)