PRESENT: F.B, A.W, P.B, P.L, P.F, T.H, C.M, D.F, M.C, B.Y, K.S.

APOLOGIES: From all not previously mentioned.

RESULTS: Today’s RESULTS were delivered by the Laird. There were no 2’s posted, therefore £2.20 is added to the previous pots which means that the next recipient will pouch £6.60 plus the day’s takings. DoD with a miserable 21 points was a rather dejected Soapy. DDoD’s with 32 points apiece were the Prof and Winker. Bumper was runner up with 38 points. The winner and today’s champine was the ever popular Laird with a magnificent 40 points.

Other scores—- C.M–33, P.B–34, T.H–33, F.B–35, P.L–37, P.F–33.

TOASTS: To the Murray boys who have ended the year on top of their respective piles.

To N.U who continued their winning run and remain in top spot by a considerable margin.

To Matthew Fitzpatrick who won the Dubai Open.

GEEZERS CARDS: D.F(20p), B.Y(40p), K.S(20p), P.L(20p), P.F(20p), M.C(20p), T.H(20p).—–£1.60.

FINANCE: The Cardinal has taken stock of the money in hand and reported that he was at present in receipt of £134.40, excluding today’s takings. He then announced that he had decided to bankroll the Christmas party with a generous, some may say foolhardy, donation of £100. The money will more than likely go behind the bar to finance festive drinks. The Cardinal was thanked for this contribution and for his canny stewardship of the MOHGS finances.

LAST WEEKS MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED.

BUSINESS: The Chair was absent from last week’s meeting and was somewhat perplexed at the lack of progress on the Party preparations.

“Gentlemen,” he began. “There is no more time for prevarication, innuendo, riddles or cliches. The time for action is nigh. No more beating round the bush. We must take the bull by the horns, grasp the nettle and cut without hesitation through the Gordian knot.”

The air was heavy with expectation as the members settled down to listen to his definitive plans for the much anticipated event.

However, at this point the Chair slumped back into his seat and with a twinkle in his eye, reserved the right to keep his powder dry.

It was left to others to make some sort of progress on this thorny topic. The options were once again laid out.

1. To stay in the clubhouse and have a meal served by the caterers.
2. To stay in the clubhouse and enjoy a shared table.
3. To stay in the clubhouse for drinks and then go for an injun.

After a short discussion it was decided to rule out option No. 1.

Winker announced that his wine club regularly met in the Vardon Suite and had always provided a shared table, with no input from the caterers. This suggestion was in line with option 2.

Questions still hanging in the air:

1. Who makes what if option 2 prevails?

2.Is there an Injun available at a time of our choosing on the party day if we plunge for option 3?

There was a definite feeling that we had indeed made excellent progress and it was now just a case of dotting i’s and crossing t’s. However there is much work to be done and the Chair is the man to do it. He must hold his nerve, continue to plough the furrows and with a favourable breeze will no doubt come out of all of this, smelling of roses and looking back to reminisce on yet another successful year in office.

The meeting began to fragment at this point and much of the focus was lost when the Chair began to show very cute pictures of his latest grandchild.

The Rabbi has time to announce that the times had changed slightly for next week—8.48, 8.56, 9.04 and 9.12..

The meeting closed very agreeably at 1.40pm.

BURT.

PRESENT: M.M, P.L, G.A, G.W, D.F, T.M, K.S, B.H, P.F, M.C, J.G.

Apologies for next week from G.A and G.W.

RESULTS: No 2’s posted therefore the kitty transfers to next week which could be a double rollover. DoD was Winscale with a paltry 26 hard won points. DDoD was El Mat with 29 points. Shagpile was the runner up with 36 points. The overall winner with a magnificent 38 points was the ever popular Laird.

FINANCE: GEEZERS CARDS—— G.A(20p), G.W(20p), M.M(20p), T.M(40p), M.C(40p), K.S(60p), B.H(20p), J.G(40p)—£2.60. £2.20 was carried forward in 2’s and a further £1.40 was collected in swears. The Rabbi is the holder of the dosh.

TOASTS: To all the victorious home Nations who succeeded in the qualifiers for the World Cup.

To the Prof and Kwok who won last week’s Seniors comp with a magnificent haul of 50 points. To a lesser extent congratulations were also due to Brains and the Laird who were 3rd in the same event.

To the Scottish R.L team which drew with the current world champions.

To the England R.U team which beat S. Africa.

LAST WEEKS MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED IN THEIR ENTIRETY.

There were no MATTERS arising since it was decided to keep our powder dry until the next meeting when it will be finally time to bottom out the definitive arrangements for the annual Christmas Party.

Today’s meeting was ably chaired by the Rabbi.

Tee times next week are as per.

BURT.

PRESENT: F.B, K.S, P.L, G.W, J.G, T.H, P.F, D.F, C.M, B.Y, M.M.

RESULTS: No 2’s carded therefore £2.20 is carried forward. DoD was Shagpile with 22 points. DD’soD were Rabbi, Kwok and El Mat with 23 points apiece. The runner up with 27 points was the Scuttler. The winner for a fantastic third week on the trot was the rejuvenated and ever popular President with a magnificent 28 glorious points. It must also be recorded that the going was extremely tough with frequent showers and low temperatures. Only 15 holes were played.

GEEZERS CARDS: F.B(20p), K.S(60p), P.L(60p), D.F(20p), P.F(20p), G.W(20p), M.M(20p)—–£2.20.

£3.20 was collected in swears. Crocs and Shagpile were fined 50p apiece for not wearing MOHGS gear on the first Monday of the month. All money is in the safekeeping of the Rabbi, a total of £8.60.

TOASTS: To Andy Murray, the first British player ever to be world No. 1.

LAST WEEKS MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED.

BUSINESS:

* There are still tickets available for the Mark Clattenburg soirée at £20/head on 17 Nov. The Chair intimated that he would attend and will secure tickets to sit with the Metcalfe party. The dress code is smart but casual.

* The Chair announced, with steely determination that there was no more time for prevarication, the time for direct action was nigh and it was the moment to grasp the nettle, cut through the Gordian knot and make final preparations for the biggest event in the social calendar, the Christmas Party. There was huge admiration and expectation in the air as the gathering awaited with baited breath, the Chairs plan for the festive tomfoolery. ” Gentlemen!” he barked with great authority, ” We must at all costs keep our powder dry and not make any hasty decisions which we may live to regret.” There was a collective sigh of disbelief as the Chair relaxed and flashed a satisfied grin to the members and reclined in his seat. In less stentorian tones he then explained that St. Rappe had approached Charlene and had used his immense charm to persuade her to keep the bar open after normal working hours on party day. He further explained that the present caterers usually downed tools at the same time as when the bar closed and therefore would be technically unavailable to provide food, which would then allow us the opportunity to have a shared table. This covert operation has now taken on the hallmarks of a Brian Rix farce.

At this point in the proceedings the Rabbi slipped away, unnoticed, to make enquiries of his own. He returned with the news that he had spoken to a very senior dignitary who informed him that the present caterers may not even be in situ at the time of the party, therefore we had his blessing to carry on regardless. The Rabbi was thanked warmly for his contribution.

The President spoke forcefully about the need to support the club, through our contribution to the bar takings.

The Chair once again pointed out the need for keeping our powder dry and playing cards close to chests and emphasised that we were indeed moving in the right direction.

Crocs revealed that in his opinion we should, in the light of our present predicament, have begun discussion about the party much earlier in the year and furthermore he insisted that it may be necessary to begin planning now for next year’s event.

Brains with his usual aplomb announced that procrastination is the thief of time.

On that note, the meeting began to fragment and the boy’s were looking increasingly frazzled after making so many momentous decisions in one sitting.

* Shagpile revealed that he had recently played at Craigie Law and had stayed overnight. He had nothing but praise for the accommodation, the food, the course and the all round ambience and he thoroughly recommended it to the members. His direct assessment was that it was ” Fantastically awesome.”

Tee times are as per next week.

The meeting closed at 1.25pm.

BURT

PRESENT: B.Y, B.H, P.B(n/p), P.F, E.E, G.W, D.F, A.L, K.S, J.G, M.C, F.B, A.W, G.A, C.M.

RESULTS: 2×2’s were carded by the Matador and Crocs. DoD with a miserly 24 points was the unfortunate Brains. DDoD with an equally unimpressive 25 points was the Laird. The runner up after an extensive and rewarding coaching session was El President with a magnificent 38 points. The overall winner, champine of the week, was the ever popular Jock St. Rappe with a memorable 42 incredible points.

FINANCE: £4 was collected in swears. Geezers Cards—– D.F(40p), B.Y(40p), F.B(40p), G.W(20p), G.A(20p), P.L(20p), A.L(40p), J.G(20p), P.F(20p), EE(60p), C.M(20p), M.C(20p),

TOASTS: To Andy Murray who won the Viennese Open and is on schedule to becoming the world no. 1.

Last weeks minutes were accepted.

MATTERS ARISING: The meeting accepted the fact that poor Lord Snooty had been thoroughly misrepresented by his father (the Chair), in that he had merely intimated that the golf event hosted by Lee Westwood might be a goer for those MOHGS who were interested. The membership furthermore apologised for any hurt incurred by Lord Snooty and will in future regard any information volunteered by the Chair, with a huge pinch of salt.

* The Fourball at Foxton had been taken up by B.H, D.F, P.L and Brian and they had experienced a thoroughly good time.

BUSINESS:

The Christmas Party is set for 12 December but the issue of food/dining is far from straightforward. There are doubts over whether or not the caterers will be available to provide the requisite banquet, whether to revert to the shared table, or to jog into Morpeth for an injun. The simple answer to some of the imponderables would be for a representative to make representation to the caterers to enquire about availability. This appears to be a bridge too far and no one is willing to take up the cudgels. Biggles has been round the world twice since his last game with the MOHGS, and remembers suggesting then, that someone should approach the caterers. The Chair proposed a belated toast to Biggles for all his contributions towards world peace. However there is still no resolution and the sands of time are running out.

* Some proposals for the party were, quiz, pool, table tennis, dominoes and snooker.

* Newcastle are due to play Hull in the next round of the cup competition. B.H volunteered the information for anyone who might be interested in attending, however C.M was sceptical as to whether tickets would be available.

The meeting began to fragment. There was no Jokers Corner and no further business so the meeting was brought to a merciful end at 1.45.

BURT.