11 Members present.

Apologies – those not present.

Meeting (as such).

The Chair proposed that we would concentrate mainly on the results given the absence of any kind of suitably qualified and experienced scribe/secretary/clerk/notetaker/PA/escritoire/administrator or even dogsbody.

Results: most efficiently prepared, and eloquently presented by Windscale, looking all the better on his return from Paddington Bear land.

No 2’s

Joint winners – Two beers and Scuttler with 40 points (each), 2 shot cut (each)

Runners up – Wellen and Windscale with 39 points (each), 1 shot cut (each)

Deputy Duffer – Crocodile with 34 points, 1 shot lift

Duffers of the Day Rabbi and The Chair with 33 points (each), 2 shot lift (each)

Swears £1.80

Geezer’s Cards £2.80

2’s carried over £2.20

Christmas Party Review – Pending

Imminent installation of wood burning stove noted.

Herbie returned the Christmas plate fully intact for presentation at the AGM.

Future events – Herbie proposed the possibility of a re-run of The Great Escape. Apparently, there are such things as ‘Escape Rooms’ – a form of entertainment where groups of like-minded souls, (having already taken alcohol) gather together (and pay good money) in the name of Team Bonding, to decipher clues which enable an escape tunnel to be dug. Once on the outside, further alcohol and curry as reward.  Proposal carried, with Herbie to investigate further. Crocs did ask whether handcuffs, manacles and ‘special clothing’ was required. Perhaps a special prize for those MOHGS resembling original characters, who remembers e.g.

Steve McQueen –  ‘The Cooler King’

James Garner –  ‘The Scrounger’

Richard Attenborough –  ‘Big X’

Charles Bronson – ‘Tunnel King’

Donald Pleasance – ‘The Forger’

James Coburn – ‘The Manafucturer’

David McCallum – ‘Dispersal’

Gordon Jackson – ‘Intelligence’

John Leyton – ‘Tunnel King’

Angus Lennie – ‘The Mole’

Spot the MOHGS

Apologies, but it is Christmas and well worth snuggling up with a mince pie and a glass of eggnog for another watch.

AOB

Yet another Geezer’s Cards issue. Scuttler raised the contentious matter of the timing of the allocation of a Geezer’s Card. Should this be immediately after the execution of a particular shot (e.g. ball landing in the trees, out of bounds, or in a bunker), sometime during the remainder of said hole, or at the end of the hole, or some other time. Memory was raised as a potential mitigating factor. Unresolved, clearly requires further debate and/or a ‘People’s Vote’. Backstop and Brexit spring to mind.

Belated Toasts – Magpies for pecking the eyes out of the Terriers, Windscale offering best wishes to one and all for Christmas. ‘Y sin embargo, otro magnifico hat trick para Lionel Messi: el numero cincuenta y dos.

Earliest tee time for next Monday – 10 am those present declined

Meeting ended on time.

A reminder that as of 1^st January 2019 MOHGS revert back to Club Handicap.

C.R. o’ Codile

PRESENT: There was an unusually high turnout with 20 members involved in the contest for the revered CHRISTMAS PLATE, including the welcome return of the Falcon and Winker.

Before the meeting began, the Chair toasted Christmas and had a special word of praise for the four members who made the effort to dress in seasonal attire. He then apropos nothing, launched a verbal assault on the unfortunate Sec. for his misreporting of the previous week’s minutes in respect of rules concerning the Geezers Cards. The Sec. was saved from total humiliation by the timely intervention of the Scuttler who observed that in his humble opinion, the much derided Sec., continues to provide reportage of the highest quality and deserves praise rather than outright condemnation. There followed an unprecedented show of support for the Sec., in the form of applause and cheering which left the Chair bemused and chastened.

RESULTS: Delivered by Brains due to the absence of Laird who had previously corrected the Secretaries faux pas in a sensitive and constructive missive before his departure down under. There was one 2 by the Scuttler who pouched today’s purse plus the rollover from last week. The DoD was the Falcon with 18 points. Winker with 19 points was the DDoD. Runners up with 33 points apiece were the Matador, Johnnie W and the Rabbi. The winner and champine with an incredible 38 points was the ever popular and resourceful Brains. He wins the Christmas Plate 2018.

The Christmas festivities continued in earnest after the results had been delivered. There was slight consternation as to the whereabouts of the Plate. Who was last year’s recipient?

There will no doubt be a full enquiry into the format of the party and deliberations regarding the successes and failures however the festivities continued into the late afternoon and a merry time was had by all.

Burt.

PRESENT: F.B, P.L, D.G-M, B.D, L.W, T.H, P.B, D.F, C.M, J.G, T.M, P.F, K.S(n/p).

RESULTS: There were no 2’s, therefore £2.40 is carried forward. DoD was Wellend with a miserable 25 points. DDoD was Shagpile with a more respectable 29 points. The Rabbi was today’s runner up with a terrific score of 43 points. Today’s champine with a magnificent score of 47 points was the ever popular and indefatigable Scuttler.

Today’s results were delivered for the last time this year by the Comp. Sec., the Laird, who departs on Wednesday for his annual trip down under. He was wished a safe journey by his chums who looked forward to his safe return sometime in early 2019.

TOAST: To Sienna Fowler, the latest addition to the Kwok dynasty who made her first appearance on 29 Nov.
To Delboy who won the W. Lancs 4Ball championship with an impressive 45 points, most of which we were informed by his delighted sibling, were scored by himself.
To John Rahm who won the Heroes Ch/ship.

FINANCE: Swears—–£3.60. G.C’s—–£3.40.

NOTES OF THE LAST MEETING WERE ACCEPTED IN THEIR ENTIRETY.

BUSINESS: Wellend asked for clarification of the double bogey- three putt rule. It was emphasised by the Comp. Sec. that only one of the cards could be delivered on any hole.
* It was decided on a majority vote to cancel the trip to Newbiggin on 17 December. Shagpile was thanked for his efforts in organising the match.

CHRISTMAS PARTY: The Cardinal has manfully striven to negotiate a deal with the new caterers for a cold buffet on Monday 10 Dec. There are a total of 18 attendees. The good news is that due to very shrewd manipulation of the funds, that the meal will be free to all members. The Cardinal was thanked profusely for his expert financial nouse and was proclaimed as the best Fin. Sec. we have ever had. Members however will be forced to dig into their own meagre resources to fund the drinks bill. The meal will be available from 1.30 onwards in the bar area. Members are not expected to wear the MOHGS mufti and the dress code is left to individual preferences, however seasonal attire is encouraged and Elvis lookalikes will be allowed entrance.  The first tee time for golf is 10.24. The Rabbi has booked 4 slots. The competition will be over 11 or 12 holes, using 3 clubs and a putter.
Après golf will include the annual Kwok quiz, dominoes (supplied by the President and Johnnie) and table tennis if Winker can supply the gear. A new event this year will be a putting competition using the Cardinals putting machine. The President will attend the buffet but is at present unsure about the golf.
The Laird apologised once more for his enforced absence and made a tearful departure to the sound of applause and good wishes.

The meeting closed at 1.15pm.

Burt E. Kwok.