PRESENT: T.H(n/p), P.F, C.D, L.W, F.B, P.B, J.G2, P.L(l/e), G.W, K.S, T.M, C.M, M.S, A.B-W, J.G, M.M, D.G-M.

APOLOGIES: D.F.

RESULTS: Today’s game was a singles competition with 17 participants. There was one2 posted on the 17th by 2Beers who pouched the kitty. DoD was the unfortunate Kwok with a derisory 22 points. DDoD was Dewy with a slightly better score of 24 points. Joint runners up with 36 points apiece were Johnny, the Rabbi and the President. This week’s winner with a massive 37 points was the ever popular Brains. H/caps will be adjusted accordingly.

Not for the first time, the 2’s kitty was short by 60p. The Geezer proposed that we have a kitty monitor to check the pot for financial irregularities. The Chair appealed for vigilance and was convinced that some 2’s cash may have been mistakenly gone into the swears pot.

TOASTS:

To the England RU team who successfully reached the final of the World Cup.To Tiger Woods who equalled Sam Sneeds record of wins on the PGA Tour.
To Stephen Brown who won the Portuguese Open and thus retained his tour card.
To the Geezer who won last week’s Seniors Comp.
To the Kid who gained a distinction for his MBA.

MINUTES OF THE LAST MEETING:

The minutes were agreed but the Chair challenged two of the reported points. He felt that he was unfairly criticised for not proposing a toast to the recuperating Scuttler. The Chair, in his own defence declared that he had proposed a toast to Scuttler the previous week and could not be expected to propose a toast every time the Scuttler made an appearance. He also felt that he had been unjustly criticised for a verbal rebuke to poor Herbie. The President questioned whether the Chair was being advised by Dominic Cummings.

BUSINESS:

Shagpile was present to give an update on the forthcoming trip to Foxton. He said that breakfasts could be arranged for those arriving early. He also announced that the first tee time was set for 12 noon and appealed for contestants to arrive no later than 11.30. Cars should be parked in the car park but can be moved closer to the accommodation when the bulk of the members have left.

* The Hon. Fin. Sec., magnanimously declared that the subsidy for overnight stays had historically been awarded at £10/man. He then dipped into his overflowing coffers and produced £80 which was gratefully accepted on behalf of the overnighters by the enthusiastic Chair.

* There will be at least 8 golfers playing next week at Morpeth. Brains appealed that the results be sent to him in order to update the h/cap board.

* Winscales proposed that the MOHGS should give serious consideration, in the new year, to hiring a bus for a trip to an Open Golf Tournament. He will make enquiries and report back.

* The Geezer revealed that he was in possession of a token for a fourball at Eaglescliff. He has played the course many times before and was therefore willing to donate it to anyone interested in tackling this challenging course.

* It was decided that the Christmas party would be held in the golf club, using the club caterers for a buffet lunch. The Hon. Fin. Sec. agreed to make further enquiries as to the selection of food available, costs etc.

There being no further business, the meeting closed amicably at 1.45.

Burt Kwok.

PRESENT: C.M, D.F, P.F, C.D, F.B, J.G, M.M, A.L, P.L, J.G, K.S, G.A, T.M, B.D, M.S.

RESULTS: Today’s game was a Texas Scramble. Results were delivered by the hirsute and ever enthusiastic Laird, who was congratulated for his choice of competition. There were 2 x 2’s posted by Dewy, Crocs & Laird and Shagpile, Monty & the Rabbi. There were only 3.4 shots separating first and last place, therefore competition was rife. The DoD’s were Shagpile, Monty & the Rabbi with a paltry 69.7 points. DD’soD were Wellen, the Geezer & Herbie with 68.9 points. Runners up with 68.5 points were Winscales, Soapy & Biggles. This week’s Champines with a massive 66.3 points were the popular trio of Dewy, Crocs & the Laird. The winners will be pulled by one shot apiece, whilst the duffers gain an extra shot apiece.

TOASTS: To the President, who has been absent for a while but has returned to the fold looking lean and fit.

To Biggles, who has also been absent on manoeuvres and returned with the beginnings of a handlebar moustache and a Peaky Blinder haircut.

To Crocs who benefited to the tune of £140 after a punt on Marty Longstaff scoring the winning goal against Man U.

LAST WEEKS MINUTES ACCEPTED IN THEIR ENTIRETY.

MATTERS ARISING:
The Laird and Crocs had a showdown at the OK corral with the club manager in order to discuss the booking of tee times over the coming months. They reported that the whole situation was really a storm in a teacup which has been blown into hurricane proportions by Chinese whispers. In order to clarify the point it was inferred that there’s many a slip twixt cup and lip and necessity is the mother of invention, therefore after many fruitful hours of hardball negotiations, in essence, very little has changed. There will be a block booking of 4 tee times from 8.40-9.04 over the winter months, with the exception of Dec & Jan when the tee times will be 8.48-9.12. At the end of the season, the situation will be revisited and negotiations will recommence.
The Laird and Crocs were thanked for their diligence and doggedness in bringing the situation to a satisfactory conclusion.
BUSINESS:
* Crocs has pouched the swears for safekeeping. (£1).
* The Christmas party was broached by the Chair who was concerned that the table tennis event, in his considerable estimation, took up too much time at the expense of many of the other planned festivities.
* The Geezer proposed that we use the excess funds at our disposal, to hire the Swing Room for a driving competition. The Chair urged caution until the keeper of the cash was available to authorise such a drastic transaction. Brains was also wary that we may be jumping from the frying pan into the fire re the aforementioned table tennis and the fracturing caused. The whole event obviously is in need of overhaul and sensitive deliberation.
* Herbie asked for clarification of the date of the Christmas Party and was informed that the event would be held on Mon 9 December.
* The Rabbi was concerned that at present he is the only person available to enter names for Wednesday’s competitions and is experiencing severe criticism from other club members due to the number of names he is submitting. He revealed that it may not be possible to continue to submit as many names in the future without additional help.

There being no other business, the meeting concluded amicably at 1.25.

Burt Kwok.

PRESENT: P.L, D.F, P.B, M.S, T.M, B.D, A.B-W, M.M, D.G-M, J.G, G.A, P.F, F.B, C.M, M.C.

RESULTS: There was only one 2, posted by Monty on the 17th. He received a fistful of cash which included rollovers. Today’s Comp was threesomes where the best two scores on each hole were counted. D’soD were Bumpers, Kwok and Winscales with a derisory 61 points. They will each receive a one shot lift. DD’soD were the Rabbi, Laird and Crocs with 69 points. Runners up were Shagpile, 2Beers and Shotgun with 72 points. The worthy winners with an immense 74 points were the Geezer, Wellen and Herbie. Each will be pulled by one shot. Brains is on a well deserved holiday and is obviously exempt from MOHGS duties, therefore those members who have been pulled or gained extra shots will not be notified until he is officially back to modify the table.

The Laird, graciously handed over the previous week’s winnings to Kwok and Bumpers.

TOASTS: Both David Grosch-Miller and Alan Beaumont-Whigham warmly commended Dina Asher-Smith who was narrowly pipped at the post by Shelly-Ann Frazier-Price at the IAAF meeting in Doha and thus became the first British woman to medal in an international-sprint.

TOASTS:

To Shotgun who was a member of the winning team in the recent Autumn Leaves Comp. The Laird was a member of the team which was runner up.

To the Geezer, who recently became a G/dad to new born baby Jack. The Geezer referred to the new born as ‘ wor Jack, ‘ and was gently teased by Herbie for incorrect use of the vernacular. This resulted in a howl of protests from the indigenous members who applauded the erstwhile cockney for his choice of language.

LAST WEEKS MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED IN THEIR ENTIRETY.

MATTERS ARISING: The Chair was back in his rightful spot at the head of the table, looking sharp and fit after his trip down the Swannee River. He began proceedings by requesting that all members continue to be flexible, adaptable and light on their feet like ‘ dancing queens.’ He was also perplexed about the fact that the meeting last week had voted that in future two two balls should replace a final 4 ball in order to speed up the game. However he agreed that we must sail with the wind, continue to evolve and be mindful of prevailing conditions when making judgments.

BUSINESS:

*Bumpers questioned the Comp. Sec about today’s competition and why the format had been changed at the last minute. He was referred back to the Chairs opening statement about flexibility. The late arrival of one member had necessitated changes to be made quickly and the Comp. Sec. was forced to make decisions on the hoof.

*The Chair reminded all participants to arrive promptly at 8.15 for the draw at 8.30. He then proposed a toast to the beleaguered tosser who continues unfailingly to fulfil a thankless task in often trying circumstances.

*The Honourable Member for Toxteth reported that he was made aware of grumblings from dissatisfied club members about the block booking by MOHGS on Monday mornings. The GC manager had been approached by the aforementioned malcontents and rumour has it that he is considering the cancellation of the of the block booking in the near future.

FINANCE: The Chancellor, accompanied by his burgeoning box of cash, issued his Autumn Statement. He announced that due to fewer away days and no weekend retreats, his box was now overflowing and he was considering employing Securicor to accompany him to meetings to ensure the integrity of the box. The total at his disposal has now reached the dizzy heights of £320. The members were stunned into silence by this fiscal revelation. Crocs was first off the mark to thank the Hon. Fin. Sec. for his stringent stewardship of the cash as well as his continued diligence and professionalism.

# Shagpile revealed that he will attend Foxton GC this week and attempt to negotiate a good deal for an overnighter. A straw poll revealed that many MOHGS would be interested.

# The Laird, Herbie, the Chair and the Cardinal offered their apologies for absence next Monday.

The meeting was brought to a satisfactory conclusion at 1.20pm.

Burt Kwok.