PRESENT: P.L, D.F(left early), G.W, D.G-M, T.M, C.M, P.F, M.C(l/e), J.G, M.M, C.C, A.B-W, B.D, F.B, K.S, L.W(l/e), T.H, B.Y.

Before the meeting started the Geezer confessed that he believed he had infringed the rules of golf because of advice given, in good faith, as a result of losing his ball in the rough on two occasions. The Hon. Comp. Sec. was noticeable by his absence therefore Brains and the Chair offered positive suggestions as to what the Geezer should do to rectify the situation. As a result he was pulled by 4 shots. The ruling was that the Geezer should have dropped a ball, where he thought the first was lost and accept a 2 shot penalty.

RESULTS: Delivered impeccably by the resourceful Brains. There were 3×2’s by Bumpers and the Rabbi on 17th and the Geezer on the 14th. DoD’s were Kwok and the Geezer with 28 points apiece. DDoD was 2Beers with 31 points. In third place was Wellen with 42 points. The runner up with 44 points was Brains. The winner with a massive 47 points was the ever popular Shotgun.

TOASTS: The birth of Scuttlers granddaughter was unfortunately overlooked last week, therefore glasses were raised and whooping and hollering to greet the birth of baby Poppy.

To a glut or flurry or gaggle of MOHGS who came second and third in last week’s Seniors Comp.

Last week’s minutes were accepted in their entirety.

MATTERS ARISING:

* Today’s game was a singles competition. There was slight consternation from some members that the Comp was unfair in that, due to greens being prepared by the green keepers and volunteers, the pin positions were constantly being changed therefore some competitors were forced to play what was essentially a different course. Brains took complete control of the situation and announced in a measured tone that —-” We play the course as presented.” This announcement cut immediately through the Gordian Knot and silenced the baying mob.

* The Chair spoke eloquently about the forthcoming executive trip to St. Boswells on the  bank of the mighty Tweed. He revealed that the perception by some members was that the trip was an exclusive jaunt for the Executive only and that this was certainly not the case. He insisted that other less privileged individuals were free to join the party and furthermore that he and the President would welcome participants with open arms.

* There was no update on the forthcoming trip to Slaley Hall. Questions were asked about the recuperation of the Social Sec. Someone suggested he may be on holiday. Best wishes were expressed for his recovery.

* Shagpile revealed that the Percy House competition would take place at Whitley Bay G.C on Mon. 3 June. The Comp. would consist of 4 man teams and the cost would be £100/team. Interested parties should contact Shagpile asap.

There being no further business, the meeting closed amicably at 1.07pm.

Burt K.

PRESENT: D.G-M, M.S, D.F, P.F, G.W, B.Y, T.M, J.G, C.M, M.M, A.B-W, C.C, L.W, K.S.

The President agreed to Chair the meeting but unfortunately was forced to relinquish the position and invited Kwok to take over, whilst he tucked into a plate of eggs accompanied by lightly browned toast.

RESULTS: No 2’s were recorded therefore £2.80 is carried forward. The DoD with a miserable 29 points was the unfortunate Crocs. DDoD was Brains with 31 points. Runners up were the Geezer and the Prof with 41 points apiece. The winner and champine was the ever cheerful and enthusiastic Shagpile with a magnificent 43 points.

FINANCE: £4.60 in swears and £3.80 in Geezers cards.

TOASTS: To the Geezer and the Chair who became grandparents to a new granddaughter and grandson respectively.To Herbie and 2Beers who won last week’s Seniors with a majestic 59 points.
To Gordon Banks and Gene Littler RIP.

* The Rabbi and Prof were thanked for their efforts in booking the tees for Mondays games and to the Geezer who sorted out the block booking for future games.

* The Comp. Sec. was invited to clarify the rules for two Geezers cards. He very confidently decreed that the double bogey card should be awarded to a player who doesn’t complete a hole. He further stated that if a ball lands amid branches and twigs, it does not deserve the ‘under the tree’ card.

* The President revealed that his proposed game at Boswells may be held on 15 June.

There being no further business, the meeting closed amicably at 1.12pm.

Burt Kwok.

PRESENT:P.F, A.B-W, M.C, B.D, B.Y, F.B, T.M, J.G, D.F, P.B(n/p), M.M, D.G-M, C.M, P.L, C.D, T.H, K.S.

> RESULTS: There were 3×2’s—Shotgun, Crocs and the Geezer who shared a shedload of cash, £8.40, which included unclaimed cash from previous weeks. Today’s game was played in pairs, with the best score recorded on odd holes and both scores recorded on even holes. The D’soD were Dewy and 2Beers with a paltry 53 points. Runners up were Shotgun and Wellen as well as the Scuttler and the Laird, with 66 points apiece. The winning duo were the ever popular Prof and Straggler with a stupendous 68 points.

> The Chair began the meeting by ringing a rather charming little bell. The President revealed that bell was the new trophy to be played for on the day of the AGM and then promptly presented it to this year’s champ, the esteemed Prof. Thanks were expressed to the President for his generous donation.

> A glut of small denomination coins were discovered in today’s collection which the Chair declared was totally unacceptable. NO MORE SHRAPNEL, he screamed and stood tall to give greater emphasis to his outburst. The President nodded sagely.

> TOASTS: To David Law who secured his first professional win on the circuit in Oz.
> To the victorious England RU team.
> To the Laird and Rabbi who won the Seniors Comp, two weeks ago.

> THE MINUTES OF THE LAST MEETING WERE ACCEPTED.

> MATTERS ARISING:
> SLALEY HALL: The Cardinal had risen from his sick bed to be present at the meeting. He was thanked for his attendance and wished well in his recuperation. He revealed that he is short of one member for the forthcoming trip to Slaley Hall which means that he is unable to fulfil the requirements for the deal on offer. He decided to renegotiate with Slaley and apply for a date later in the year.

> *Shagpile is willing to organise a team to enter the Lifeboat Appeal Invitation at Newbiggin on Friday 3 May. More information will follow.

> *Soapy declared that he and the Chair are planning an executive trip to St. Boswells golf club which is situated on the south bank of the river Tweed. He suggested that the event would take place on a Friday in mid June and that other members could join the exalted couple upon application. The fees are £10/round and deposited in an honesty box.

> *Crocs was perturbed by the number of MOHGS attending on Monday mornings and suggested that a maximum of 26 could possibly attend. He remarked that it was difficult to gauge how many tees to book, without incurring the wrath of other club members. The Geezer proposed that he would speak to the manager to ask if it was possible to make a block booking for five tee times each Monday. It was agreed to follow this course of action. The Geezer will report at the next meeting.

> There being no further business, the meeting closed amiably at 1.15pm.

Burt E. Kwok.

PRESENT: P.F, M.S, M.M, J.G, B.Y, G.A, L.W, D.G-M, B.D.

Today’s game was played in groups of three with the best 2 scores counting.

RESULTS: D’soD were Kwok, Herbie and Shagpile with a miserly 58 points. The winners with a more respectable 66 points were Brains, Wellen and 2Beers. Winners will lose one shot each whilst the duffers gain a shot apiece.

BUSINESS: Winscale was thanked for organising the event. Sympathy was expressed for the Cardinal who was absent today with suspected broken ribs after a recent fall during a bus journey to Newcastle.

It was generally accepted that the course was in good condition but the temperature at the beginning of the round was icy cold.

Burt.

PRESENT: G.A, T.H, P.L, M.S, C.M, F..B(left early), P.F, K.S, C.D, T.M, L.W, D.G-M, J.G.

The Rabbi accepted the role of Chair due to Chair being forced to leave early with an upset tummy.

RESULTS: The results were delivered by Brains. Today’s game was a singles competition. There were 3×2’s by Soapy, Johnnie and Crocs. DoD with a miserable 32 points was the unfortunate Geezer. DDoD was Kwok with a more reasonable 36 points. The runner up with a magnificent 47 points was the indefatigable Soapy. Today’s winner with an incredible score of 48 points was the canny and hirsute Brains.

FINANCE: There were no Geezers cards in operation. £2.30 was collected in swears.

LAST WEEKS MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED IN THEIR ENTIRETY.

MATTERS ARISING:

The thorny question of the forthcoming trip to Foxton was top of the agenda. Winscales had spoken to the manager of Foxton and had agreed in principle a deal to take a group to play on 28th. However he was conscious of the controversial issues involved and left the deal on ice pending the outcome of today’s meeting.

The Chair asked for an indication of how many members were interested in playing at Foxton and the majority signified that they were. There were however a significant group who indicated that they would prefer to play at Morpeth.

The President opined that each individual should be free to decide their venue of choice as this has always been the MOHGS way.

It was observed that in a previous meeting there was a motion that Monday should be reserved for playing exclusively at Morpeth and that away days should be organised on another day. This argument was countered by another member who ventured that he reserved Mondays for golf and if away days were played on another day, he may not be available.

Winscales then cut through the Gordian knot and proposed that he booked the course at Foxton on 28th January. The proposal was seconded by Herbie and passed by a majority decision. Members who wish to play should email Winscales asap.

The Rabbi will need to know who intends to play at Morpeth on 28th so that he can book the appropriate number of tee times. Please contact him asap. Those who are playing at Morpeth are expected to muster at 8.15-8.30.

The President congratulated the Rabbi for his efficient chairing of today’s meeting.

There being no further business, the meeting closed at 1pm.

Kwok.

PRESENT: F.B, P.B, T.M, D.G-M, P.F, C.M, T.H, M.S, J.G, C.D, G.A, M.M, B.D, K.S.  —M.C, L.W & G.W left before meeting.

> RESULTS: Only one 2 posted by Burt, who also claimed the rollover from last week. D’soD were the unfortunate pairing of El Mat and Bumpers with a derisory 35 points. The runners up were Shagpile and 2Beers with 46 points. This week’s winners with a magnificent score of 48 points were the dream team pairing of the Rabbi and Brains who racked up a magnificent score of 48 points. Today’s Comp was a 4Ball Betterball.

The Chair began the meeting by toasting the group with a half empty pint of Guinness and wishing all a happy and prosperous 2019.

TOASTS: To the Geezer who announced that he is to become a g/father for the second time on 29 June.

BUSINESS: The Chair introduced a new word into the MOHGS vocabulary when he announced that in future the group must MUSTER at 8.15-8.30 on Mondays in order to make a prompt start and avoid alienating the groups which follow.

There followed a lively debate about the use of Geezers cards which was eventually brought to a conclusion by the sage old President who reminded the group that they are gentlemen and should politely and sensibly come to a mutual agreement without rancour or resentment. These wise words were endorsed by the Fin. Sec. who opined that common sense should prevail in all matters.

The Chair officially welcomed Wellen to the MOHGS brotherhood.

Herbie had been looking into the possibility of organising an Escape Room evening, however the Chair urged a note of caution when he announced that a group of 5 Polish girls had been killed at a similar event whilst trying to escape. Crocs immediately said, “I’m out!” and Herbie agreed to postpone the activity.

The AGM will be held in two weeks time.

Crocs announced with near certainty that the eclectic information will be available at the AGM.

The Rabbi has gleaned some information about away days at Chester-le-Street which he will pass on to the Cardinal.

Winscales is looking into the possibility of organising a game at Foxton.

The Cardinal is checking the possibilities of away days at courses with a reciprocal arrangement with Morpeth.

There being no further business, the meeting closed amicably at 1.15.

Burt E. Kwok.

MOHGS:  31.12.2018

Present – L.W., B.D., T.H., D.G-M., C.M., F.B.

Abbreviated notes.

Results –

D of D  =  L.W.

Dep D of D  =  B.D.

2^nd  =  C.M.

Winner  =  F.B.

4 x 2’s  B.D.  =  2,  C.M. and F.B.  =  1 each.

Last minutes – taken as read.

Matters arising – none.

Toasts – none.

Swears – some, ? amount and ? who has it.

AOB – best wishes to all from the Rabbi on behalf of those present.

For what it’s worth – until 1599 the New Year began on 25 March but King James VI changed this to 1 January from 1600 onwards. In the Scots language New Year’s Eve has been known as ‘Hogmanay’ since at least the 17th century. It is thought to derive from the French for a New Year’s Eve gift,  –  even now the French keep on giving!!!!

Lang may your lum reek.

C.R. o’ Codile.

11 Members present.

Apologies – those not present.

Meeting (as such).

The Chair proposed that we would concentrate mainly on the results given the absence of any kind of suitably qualified and experienced scribe/secretary/clerk/notetaker/PA/escritoire/administrator or even dogsbody.

Results: most efficiently prepared, and eloquently presented by Windscale, looking all the better on his return from Paddington Bear land.

No 2’s

Joint winners – Two beers and Scuttler with 40 points (each), 2 shot cut (each)

Runners up – Wellen and Windscale with 39 points (each), 1 shot cut (each)

Deputy Duffer – Crocodile with 34 points, 1 shot lift

Duffers of the Day Rabbi and The Chair with 33 points (each), 2 shot lift (each)

Swears £1.80

Geezer’s Cards £2.80

2’s carried over £2.20

Christmas Party Review – Pending

Imminent installation of wood burning stove noted.

Herbie returned the Christmas plate fully intact for presentation at the AGM.

Future events – Herbie proposed the possibility of a re-run of The Great Escape. Apparently, there are such things as ‘Escape Rooms’ – a form of entertainment where groups of like-minded souls, (having already taken alcohol) gather together (and pay good money) in the name of Team Bonding, to decipher clues which enable an escape tunnel to be dug. Once on the outside, further alcohol and curry as reward.  Proposal carried, with Herbie to investigate further. Crocs did ask whether handcuffs, manacles and ‘special clothing’ was required. Perhaps a special prize for those MOHGS resembling original characters, who remembers e.g.

Steve McQueen –  ‘The Cooler King’

James Garner –  ‘The Scrounger’

Richard Attenborough –  ‘Big X’

Charles Bronson – ‘Tunnel King’

Donald Pleasance – ‘The Forger’

James Coburn – ‘The Manafucturer’

David McCallum – ‘Dispersal’

Gordon Jackson – ‘Intelligence’

John Leyton – ‘Tunnel King’

Angus Lennie – ‘The Mole’

Spot the MOHGS

Apologies, but it is Christmas and well worth snuggling up with a mince pie and a glass of eggnog for another watch.

AOB

Yet another Geezer’s Cards issue. Scuttler raised the contentious matter of the timing of the allocation of a Geezer’s Card. Should this be immediately after the execution of a particular shot (e.g. ball landing in the trees, out of bounds, or in a bunker), sometime during the remainder of said hole, or at the end of the hole, or some other time. Memory was raised as a potential mitigating factor. Unresolved, clearly requires further debate and/or a ‘People’s Vote’. Backstop and Brexit spring to mind.

Belated Toasts – Magpies for pecking the eyes out of the Terriers, Windscale offering best wishes to one and all for Christmas. ‘Y sin embargo, otro magnifico hat trick para Lionel Messi: el numero cincuenta y dos.

Earliest tee time for next Monday – 10 am those present declined

Meeting ended on time.

A reminder that as of 1^st January 2019 MOHGS revert back to Club Handicap.

C.R. o’ Codile

PRESENT: There was an unusually high turnout with 20 members involved in the contest for the revered CHRISTMAS PLATE, including the welcome return of the Falcon and Winker.

Before the meeting began, the Chair toasted Christmas and had a special word of praise for the four members who made the effort to dress in seasonal attire. He then apropos nothing, launched a verbal assault on the unfortunate Sec. for his misreporting of the previous week’s minutes in respect of rules concerning the Geezers Cards. The Sec. was saved from total humiliation by the timely intervention of the Scuttler who observed that in his humble opinion, the much derided Sec., continues to provide reportage of the highest quality and deserves praise rather than outright condemnation. There followed an unprecedented show of support for the Sec., in the form of applause and cheering which left the Chair bemused and chastened.

RESULTS: Delivered by Brains due to the absence of Laird who had previously corrected the Secretaries faux pas in a sensitive and constructive missive before his departure down under. There was one 2 by the Scuttler who pouched today’s purse plus the rollover from last week. The DoD was the Falcon with 18 points. Winker with 19 points was the DDoD. Runners up with 33 points apiece were the Matador, Johnnie W and the Rabbi. The winner and champine with an incredible 38 points was the ever popular and resourceful Brains. He wins the Christmas Plate 2018.

The Christmas festivities continued in earnest after the results had been delivered. There was slight consternation as to the whereabouts of the Plate. Who was last year’s recipient?

There will no doubt be a full enquiry into the format of the party and deliberations regarding the successes and failures however the festivities continued into the late afternoon and a merry time was had by all.

Burt.

PRESENT: F.B, P.L, D.G-M, B.D, L.W, T.H, P.B, D.F, C.M, J.G, T.M, P.F, K.S(n/p).

RESULTS: There were no 2’s, therefore £2.40 is carried forward. DoD was Wellend with a miserable 25 points. DDoD was Shagpile with a more respectable 29 points. The Rabbi was today’s runner up with a terrific score of 43 points. Today’s champine with a magnificent score of 47 points was the ever popular and indefatigable Scuttler.

Today’s results were delivered for the last time this year by the Comp. Sec., the Laird, who departs on Wednesday for his annual trip down under. He was wished a safe journey by his chums who looked forward to his safe return sometime in early 2019.

TOAST: To Sienna Fowler, the latest addition to the Kwok dynasty who made her first appearance on 29 Nov.
To Delboy who won the W. Lancs 4Ball championship with an impressive 45 points, most of which we were informed by his delighted sibling, were scored by himself.
To John Rahm who won the Heroes Ch/ship.

FINANCE: Swears—–£3.60. G.C’s—–£3.40.

NOTES OF THE LAST MEETING WERE ACCEPTED IN THEIR ENTIRETY.

BUSINESS: Wellend asked for clarification of the double bogey- three putt rule. It was emphasised by the Comp. Sec. that only one of the cards could be delivered on any hole.
* It was decided on a majority vote to cancel the trip to Newbiggin on 17 December. Shagpile was thanked for his efforts in organising the match.

CHRISTMAS PARTY: The Cardinal has manfully striven to negotiate a deal with the new caterers for a cold buffet on Monday 10 Dec. There are a total of 18 attendees. The good news is that due to very shrewd manipulation of the funds, that the meal will be free to all members. The Cardinal was thanked profusely for his expert financial nouse and was proclaimed as the best Fin. Sec. we have ever had. Members however will be forced to dig into their own meagre resources to fund the drinks bill. The meal will be available from 1.30 onwards in the bar area. Members are not expected to wear the MOHGS mufti and the dress code is left to individual preferences, however seasonal attire is encouraged and Elvis lookalikes will be allowed entrance.  The first tee time for golf is 10.24. The Rabbi has booked 4 slots. The competition will be over 11 or 12 holes, using 3 clubs and a putter.
Après golf will include the annual Kwok quiz, dominoes (supplied by the President and Johnnie) and table tennis if Winker can supply the gear. A new event this year will be a putting competition using the Cardinals putting machine. The President will attend the buffet but is at present unsure about the golf.
The Laird apologised once more for his enforced absence and made a tearful departure to the sound of applause and good wishes.

The meeting closed at 1.15pm.

Burt E. Kwok.