PRESENT: F.B, K.S(n/p), B.H, J.G, D.F, C.M, P.F, A. B- W, T.H, B.Y, P.B, M.M, P.L.

Today saw the welcome return from his holiday of the Chair as well as his trusty sidekick, who has sadly been under the weather of late, the President.

RESULTS: Today’s fixture was a 4BBB. There was one 2 posted by team Crocjock who pouched today’s kitty plus £2.60 rollover from last week. DoD were the aforementioned team Crocjock with a miserable haul of 37 points. DDoD were team Scutlaird with 40 points. Runners up were teams Brainsraggler, Shotkwok and Shagprof with 44 points apiece. The winners with a staggering 48 points were team Rabbicardnal.

FINANCES: The Chair enquired as to the amount of subsidy on offer to the Hunley mob from the pot. He was quietly but firmly assured that the Fin. Sec. had yet to decide the full amount, but that it would no doubt be substantial. There was a total of £2.70 in swears.

GEEZERS CARDS: B.Y(40p), A.B-W(60p), J.G(20p), P.L(20p), D.F(20p), C.M(20p), P.F(20p), M.M(40p), B.H(60p)——–£3.00.

TOASTS: To the team of Jocks-Kwok-Scuttler who valiantly won last week’s Seniors Comp. Kwok was further praised by the Scuttler for his astute captaincy of the team.

The Chair praised Brains, Kwok and the Laird for their unstinting efforts in keeping the society on an even keel during his absence.

To Dame Vera Lynn who turns 100 years old today.

LAST WEEKS MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED IN THEIR ENTIRETY.

AOB: The Chair, who had plenty of time to ponder whilst in holiday queues, announced that he was considering a root and branch reform of the entrance fees for the Monday comps. He went on to explain in minute detail how his master plan involved a convoluted payment of fees commensurate with individual h/caps. His plan also included reform of the 2’s pot. He found an enthusiastic seconded for his proposal, in the shape of the Laird but unfortunately the proposal was overwhelmingly rejected by the membership.

*. The Chair had kept abreast of the MOHGS news whilst on holiday via his uncanny mastery of the blogosphere and he remarked that the pairing of Brains and Laird had performed so cannily in delivering the results, that he wondered if they might wish to continue and take over the role on a permanent basis. The pairing remarked that even though they were flattered by his pronouncements, they preferred to keep their powder dry, but would take the tiller if and when the Chair were absent and unable to perform his duties.

* St. Rappe reminded the gathering that the Beamish game had been booked for a 10 o’ clock ko on 26 June. Several members have contacted him to signify their intentions but there may be others who wish to play but have not been in touch. Please contact the Strap asap. He also requested nominations for Captain of the day. There was overwhelming support for Kwok, no doubt prompted by his understated performance in last week’s Seniors Comp, when he effortlessly steered the winning team to victory using the carrot and stick approach. Kwok hesitantly agreed to accede to this huge honour bestowed upon him and pledged to devise suitable tactics to ensure a valiant victory for the team.

* The Chair was mindful that the Society was growing at a rate of knots and would soon possibly need 5 or more tee times on Mondays. He was aware that in booking so many tees, we were delaying the groups which historically have followed us, namely the Whitley Bay boys. However it was acknowledged that there was no easy answer and it was an unfortunate case of devil takes the hindmost.

* An extra toast was proposed for the President as he made his excuses and left the meeting.

* The Rabbi has booked 3 tee times for next week, 8.48, 56 and 9.04.

* The Prof, ever on the ball, reminded everyone that the clocks go forward next Sunday.

There being no further business, the meeting closed at 1.05pm.

Kwok.

PRESENT: A.B-W, F.B, D.F, P.F, P.L, T.H, C.M, M.C, B.Y, P.B, B.H, J.G.

RESULTS: A staggering 5×2’s were posted. The winning couples decided en masse to donate the winnings into the box, or as it is now known as, —-the Hunley Hall fund. The DoD’s were the unfortunate team of Straglaird with a miserly 41 points. DDoD’s were team Scutcroc with 43 points. Runners up were team Cardstrap with 46 points. The joint winners were the ever popular Brainsprof and Shotbump with a magnificent 47 points apiece.

FINANCES: The Geezers cards realised a total of £2. Swears realised £2.50.

TOASTS: To the policeman and civilians who were killed and maimed in the recent terrorist attack in London.

LAST WEEKS MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED IN THEIR ENTIRETY.

* The Laird spoke about the Bamburgh trip in place of Shagpile who is on holiday. He reported that the following members are interested in playing on 22nd of May.————Prof, Brains, Crocs, Rabbi, Laird, Cardinal, Kwok, Strap and Shotgun. The Chair would make up the numbers if called upon. The cost per punter would be £10/head. Shagpile and 2 of his marrows will also be playing.

* Brains observed that the Geezers double bogie card, disadvantaged the high h/cappers. He did not receive much sympathy save for a nod from the Strap.

* There was a heated debate about putting and chipping and Geezers cards and anomalies and on green, off green shots, which amounted to a lot of sabre rattling and raised hackles but no immediate resolution. The status quo was established whereby if the first putt is off the green, it does not actually count as a putt in terms of the GC’s.

* Crocs announced that next week heralds the start of comprehensive work on the greens, which may delay or impede the games. He suggested that it may be wise to look for a game elsewhere. There was little enthusiasm from the membership so he just shrugged his manly shoulders (honed by many hours of intense labour on his allotment), and the meeting continued.

* The Jockster revealed that the Dirty Dozen, may not actually amount to a dozen and that some MOHGS may be conscripted onto their side to make up the numbers.

* The Cardinal apologised for his absence next week, since he will be playing with his other friends instead. Kwok will also be absent for several weeks at her Majesty’s pleasure whilst on Jury Service.

* The Rabbi has booked 4 tee times for next week at the usual times.

There being no further business, the meeting closed at 1.10pm.

Burt.

Present: F.B, D.F, P.L, A.L, C.V, C.M, L.W, J.G, B.Y, T.H, B.H, M.M.

(The President turned up for the meeting looking quite chipper).

Results: One 2 posted by Team Scut/Chair.

The DoDs were the team Prof/Pile with 39 points.

DDOD were the Team Johnnie/Laird and Rab/Strappe

Runners—up with 43 points were the Team Croc/Brains and joint winners were the teams Big/Dewy and Scut/Chair with a credible 44 points.

Finances: Geezer’s cards = £2.60p and swears = £2.40p.

(Both pots pocketed by the ever-trustworthy Chair).

Toasts:  To Johanna Konta for winning the Indian Wells Tennis Championship and Jock Strappe belatedly for his 71^st birthday on April Fools Day!

Last week’s minutes were accepted and no matters arose.

The meeting unanimously agreed that the nickname ‘Crispy’ was inappropriate and henceforth Mr Walker would be known as ‘Johnnie’ in keeping with family tradition and MOHGS custom.

Tee-times for next week 8.40, 8.48, 8.56 and 9.04.

With no other matters of substance to discuss the meeting closed at 13.15.

PRESENT: M.M, J.G, P.B, B.H, P.F, D.F, B.Y, C.M.

A beautiful day at the Bridle Path, with the boys anticipating excitement and adventure.

RESULTS: It was decided by the temporary replacement Comp. Sec. that today’s game would be 4BBB. The were 2×2’s posted by team Crocs and team Gibbo who shared a pot which included the £2.60 carry over from last week. The DoD’s were Kwok and the Prof with a meagre and derisory 38 points. DDoD’s were the Laird and Crocs with 39 points. Runners up with 44 points were Brains and Jocks. The winners with a commendable score of 45 points were Shagpile and the Cardinal. The winners will be pulled one shot whilst the duffers will each gain a shot.

FINANCES: There was no penalty for swearing today, therefore the kitty suffered whilst the air around the course turned a very dark shade of blue. P.F, C .M and P.B were penalised 50p apiece for not wearing regulation gear, although it has to be said that the Cardinal looked rather fetching in his Morpeth jacket.

CONCLUSION: The fare in the clubhouse was excellent and certainly hit the spot. The comrades chewed the cud as well as the bacon sarnies and passed a whimsical hour. Thanks were expressed to Crocs for organising the event, which is now in its third successful year of operation. Crocs, the wily old operator, merely shrugged his shoulders in a mixture of embarrassment and satisfaction at a job well and truly done.

The Laird is also due respect and gratitude for grasping the nettle and taking over the decision making due to the absence of you know who. It was agreed that the mornings efforts had proved very fulfilling with ideal weather a good course and good natured banter.

Bur T. Kwok.

Ps. John, will you please send this to the others once you have posted today’s results?

PRESENT: P.L, M.C, P.B, J.G, M.M, C.M, P.F, T.H, J.P, L.W, B.Y, D.F, A.B-W.

RESULTS: No 2’s were posted, therefore £2.60 is carried over to next week. DoD’s were, Shagpile, the Rabbi and Brains with a deplorable 33 points apiece. They all have a rise of 2 shots. DD’soD were Bumpers and the Laird with 35 points. The runner up was Crocs with 43 points. The winner with an unassailable 44 points was the newest recruit to the MOHGS! Laurie Walker. L.W has yet to be given a nickname but the association with a certain manufacturer of crisps, may conjure some ideas. He will be pulled 2 shots for the next game.

GEEZERS CARDS: D.F(20p), J.P(40p), T.H(20p), J.G(40p), P.B(40p), C.M(40p), B.Y(20p), M.M(20p), A.B-W(20p)—–£2.60.

SWEARS and FINES: £3.00. D.F and P.F were penalised 50p apiece for not wearing regulation gear.

The Rabbi once again stepped into the gaping void, created by the absent Chair and agreed to Chair the meeting.

TOASTS: To Paxo for a hole in one at the 16th on Wednesday.

To Kwok, Prof and Shotgun who all appeared in the frame last week.

To Laura Mears who won gold in 2 events at the recent European indoor championship.

Brains was thanked for updating and adjusting the h/cap sheet in the absence of the Chair.

Last week’s minutes were accepted in their entirety as being perfect.

FINANCES: The Fin. Sec. rattled his box and announced that there was £96.50 in the kitty which was reasonable but advised against complacency and encouraged the members to swear more frequently, to swell the coffers. He had further bad news, in that he is considering banning all £1 coins, since they will no longer become legal tender in October. He has been a regular attendee at the bank recently to swap old coinage for notes and thus stay ahead of the curve. He would not be drawn on possible usage of the cash, but hinted that there could well be a windfall for the Hunley trip.

AOB: The Bridle Path is booked on Friday for a 9.30 KO. Brains will enquire about the use of trolleys and report his findings via the Blog.

CHRISTMAS PARTY: The club has appointed new caterers. It was agreed that we should keep our powder dry, before making any rash decisions about engaging them to provide party fare.

There was a suggestion that wives might be allowed on away days, but it petered out very quickly.

Crocs, after conducting some research on his mobile, announced that the MOHGS diary was indeed included on the MOHGS blog but unfortunately the print was too small for him to make head or tail of it.

The Chair called a harmonious close to proceedings at 12.55.

Burt.

PRESENT: J.P, B.H, T.H, B.Y, J.G, P.B, P.L, M.C, A.B-W, C.M, D.F(n/p), P.F, M.M(n/p).

As there were 12 people present it was decided that today’s competition would be a 4 ball better ball.

RESULTS: Delivered by Mr. D.F who had not played today but had come to do his duty in the absence of the current Comp. Sec. who is on holiday. There was one 2 by Kwok and El Mat who scooped the pot. D’soD were the Cardinal and the Prof with a meagre 40 points. DD’soD were Rabbi & Shotgun, Crocs & the Scuttler, Brains & Bumpers, all with 45 points. Runners up were J. Strappe & Paxo with 47 points. The winning combo with an amazing 54, yes 54 points, were El Mat &  Kwok. The winners will be docked one shot each and the losers will gain one shot each.

£1.80 was collected in swears. Geezers cards—-T.H(40p), P.L(40p), B.Y(60p), J.G(60p), P.B(20p)——-£2.20 in total.

The Rabbi Chaired today’s meeting due to the absence of the reigning Chair.

LAST WEEKS MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED AS A TRUE ACCOUNT.

MATTERS ARISING:

Bumpers did not receive last week’s minutes and presumably will not receive these because he is not on the list of contacts. The Chair will need to rectify this situation upon his return.

BRIDLE PATH: All systems go for Friday 10 March for a 9.30 KO. The cost will be £12/punter but this will include either a pint or a bacon bap and a cup of coffee.

HUNLEY HALL: Brains reported that all preparations have now been made.

NEWBIGGIN: Shagpile announced that there were a couple of Charity events coming up at Newbiggin. On Friday 5 May it is Lifeboat Day when the cost of a day’s play would be £15 which includes a meal in the clubhouse. On Tuesday 25 April, a Texas Scramble charity event is planned when the cost would be £32 for a 4 man team. Several MOHGS signified an interest in one or both events. Shagpile would like to have definite numbers as soon as possible so that he can make suitable arrangements.

AOB: The Geezer has not played for several weeks, the reason being is that he has bought himself a pedigree Boxer dog and is in the process of house training the little creature.

The time was 1.13 when the Rabbi in dulcet tones declared that the meeting had run its course and it was time for home.

BURT

PRESENT: B.Y, K.S(n/p), C.D, C.M, E.E, D.F, G.W, J.G, B.H, P.B, M.M, A.B-W, P.F, M.C, T.H, P.L, F.B.

RESULTS: Today’s game was a doubles competition. One 2 was posted by the Prof, who scooped £4.40 including £1.20 from the previous week. DoD were Brains and J. Strappe with 39 points. DDoD were Kwok and Jethro, Crocs and El Mat and the Rabbi and Straggler, all on 42 points. Runners up were, Scuttler and Bumpers, Prof and Shotgun and Laird and Cardinal with 44 points each. The winners with a magnificent 47 points were Dewy and Shagpile.

£2.20 was collected in swears, which is being held in safekeeping by Shotgun, together with £2 in prize money, belonging to Scuttler and Bumpers.

TOASTS: To Michael Beaton aka Lord Snooty for keeping the MOHGS blog operational. The blog can be accessed at mohgs.com and contains a wealth of information in the historic data garnered from years of very interesting minutes.

LAST WEEKS MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED AS ACCURATE THOUGH BADLY INFORMED.

MATTERS ARISING: Kwok believed he was erroneously vilified via a scurrilous and badly informed set of minutes which virtually amounted to a character assassination and demanded a full retraction as well as an unmitigated apology. He was given neither. The Chair using all the power vested in his mighty office refused to budge and told Kwok to put an egg in his shoe and beat it.

BUSINESS: The Cardinal ventured the thought that now we had mastered the art of blogging, we should go the whole hog and open a twitter account.

BRIDLE PATH: No progress, although an attempt to contact the pro had been made by wily old Crocs.

HUNLEY HALL: All arrangements have been completed in exemplary fashion by the fastidious and resourceful Brains.

CHRISTMAS: It was decided that we should use the Golf Club as the venue for the party and decide on catering nearer the time.

AOB: The Chair will be on holiday for the next several weeks enjoying a well deserved break with Mrs B. He mentioned several times during today’s meeting that he felt as if he was now virtually running a one man show, especially in the light of his work load last week when he also took on the onerous responsibility of producing the minutes on top of everything else. The Chair deserves respect for pulling out all the stops and ploughing his furrow with such aplomb and good humour and applying himself with vigour and determination for the greater good of the Society.

The meeting closed at 1.28.

Kwok.

It was a dreek day when seven hardy souls (FB, MC, DF, JG, TH, KS, and BY) turned up.   Much I should imagine like Agincourt when absent MOHGS ‘lay accursed in their beds’.   The true hero was The President who could only manage five holes but returned for the meeting.   The Rabbi apparently could not make it because he was getting rid of his ‘old boiler’ – bang goes the Christmas corned beef pie.   Anyway, on with the results:-

Champion, The Scuttler with a credible 44 points

Runners-up, Brains and the Prof with 41 points

Deputy Duffer, The Laird with 39 points

Duffer, Bumpers with 37 points.

No 2s were recorded and swears were dispensed with for the day, there were no toasts.  

Last week’s minutes were accepted with some disquiet.   The Clerk was criticised for failure to include the whole of the United Kingdom in Her Majesty’s realm.  His subsequent attempt to blame the Competition Secretary for this ‘faux pas’ only exacerbated the situation.   The meeting accepted that the Chair, on taking on additional responsibility had acted honourably, much like the little Dutch boy who saved the situation by sticking his digit in.   In the circumstances the Clerk was issued with a severe reprimand, a minor reprimand was issued to the Cardinal for perceived disrespect to Scotland and the Scottish aristocracy.

Brains collected outstanding deposits for the Hunley Hall trip.   Next week’s tee times are as per normal and the meeting closed at 12.50. 

PRESENT: P.B, D.F, C.M, M.C, M.M, B.Y, T.H, F.B, P.F, C.D, G.W, P.L.

RESULTS: Three 2’s were carded, 2 by M.C and 1 by P.F. DoD with a meagre 32 points was the Prof. DD’soD were Kwok, Straggler, Dewy, Crocs and the Scuttler with 40 points apiece. The runners up were the Rabbi and the Laird with 45 points. The winner and this week’s champine with a respectable 47 points was the ever popular Matador.

FINANCE: £2.00 was collected in Geezers cards. £4.40 was collected in swears and jumper fines.

TOASTS: To Her Majesty, who is celebrating 65 years as Queen of England.

To the Rabbi, Prof and Brains who were second in last week’s Seniors Comp.

HUNLEY HALL: Most deposits have now been paid but any outstanding payments must be delivered to Brains next Monday at the latest.

BRIDLE PATH: 3 tees will be booked for Friday 3 March, for a 9.30-10am KO. There appeared to be many interested punters but final numbers will no doubt be bottomed out closer to the time.

FINANCIAL STATEMENT: The Fin. Sec. assured the members that we are at present on a sound financial footing and that we will no doubt be in receipt of a substantial subsidy for the forthcoming trip to Hunley.

There being no other business, the meeting closed at 12.55.

Kwok.

PRESENT: B.H, D.F, F.B, P.L, E.E, P.B, C.D, T.H, B.Y,P.F, J.G, A.B-W, M.C, C.M. K.S( n/p).

GEEZERS CARDS: B.H(60p), F.B(20p), P.L(20p), E.E(40p), T.H(40p), B.Y(20p), P.F(20p), A.B-W(60p).——–£2.80.

Swears were also £2.80. which included a carry over of 80p from last week.

RESULTS: There was one 2 posted by M.C who scooped a prize of £2.80. DoD was E.E with a paltry 29 points. DDoD was B.H with 37 points. Joint runners up were the Chair and Prof with 44 points apiece. The winner was wily old Crocs with an outstanding 46 points.

TOASTS: To Jethro and the President who have been absent for several weeks.

To the Rabbi, the Scuttler, the Laird and the Prof who won the Seniors Comp., two weeks ago.

J.G proposed a special vote of thanks to the newly installed Comp. Sec. for his prompt delivery of the minutes.

HUNLEY HALL: There are now 12 members who are definitely attending the Hunley Hall bash. A deposit of £30 will be required no later than a week on Monday. The remaining balance will be required before the end of April.

BRIDLE PATH: Crocs has discovered that the cost of a day’s play plus a bacon sarnie and pint will be £12/person. He will attempt to book the tee for a date in March, possibly on a Friday.

The Cardinal revealed that he has had little response to his posting about possible future away days. G.W had suggested Hollins Hall near Bingley, but this suggestion was given a lukewarm reception by others who had played the course. Apparently the first hole is set on a hill, so precipitous, that crampons are required to gain access. Foxton was suggested as a possible overnighter but others thought that since it was so close, it was unnecessary to stay overnight. The Chair who had manfully attempted to steer the conversation to a meaningful conclusion, began to realise that he was flogging a dead horse and decided to put all suggestions for future away days on hold until the next meeting.

The meeting closed in good spirits at 1.10pm.

Kwok.