PRESENT: P.L, D.F, P.B, G.W, B.H, C.M, A.B-W, T.M, F.B, P.F, M.M.

APOLOGIES: K.S, A.L, B.Y, J.G, M.C.

RESULTS: No 2’s posted. £1.40 will be carried forward. DoD was the Rabbi with 32 points. DDoD was El Mat with 33 points. The runner up was J. Strap with 37 points. Today’s champine with a magnificent 39 points was the affable and self effacing Crocs.

£3 was collected in swears.

TOASTS: To the indestructible Mr. R. Hallett who reached the tender age of 70 and joined the ranks of septuagenarians along with several other celebrated MOHGS. His historic milestone was celebrated in line with the MOHGS tradition, instigated by the President, of posting a whole wedge of cash behind the bar for the use and enjoyment of his fellow pilgrims.

To the giant of comedy, Ronnie Corbett MBE who died recently.

To Old Crow, a Native American Indian who had links with the Little Big Horn, who died recently aged 102. Apparently he was camping in the next field to the battle and went to complain to General Custer about the noise.

There was a proposal to change the rule for toasts, in that only golfing achievements should be toasted but this was defeated by a hefty majority and in future most topics of general interest will continue to be celebrated by the fellowship.

LAST WEEKS MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED UNCHALLENGED.

GEEZERS CARDS: M.M —20p, G.W —20p, C.M —80p, A.B-W —60p. £1.80 in total.

CLOSE HOUSE: The first tee times are at 12.30 next Monday, although members were advised to arrive in the clubhouse one hour earlier. Breakfast is provided on Tuesday morning but decisions have to be made about a venue for the meal on Monday evening.

Bedfellows are as follows:

The Strap and the Straggler.

The Cardinal and Shotgun.

Brains and Kwok.

Crocs and the Kid.

The Prof and the Laird.

Winker and Bumpers.

The Kid will not be available on Tuesday, due to starting his new job. Therefore a space is available for a free game for any interested party.

*Four MOHGS intend to play at Morpeth next Monday and others would be most welcome to join them.

* B.H proposed that the next away day after Hunley Hall, should be Durham City golf club. There was pretty much total agreement.

*There was much discussion about the date of the Christmas Party and it was agreed that it was best not to speculate, but wait until Brains and his diary were available for a definitive answer.

The meeting closed at 1.50 but the partying continued to celebrate the birthday boy.

BURT(Hon. Sec.)

Apologies from everyone who was not present.

Ten golfers played. Warm welcome was offered to Simon (The Matador’s son-in law) who could not believe how much he had to pay for the swears and Geezer’s Cards . Well he is a Yorkshire man and will offer a nick name on his next vistit.

No twos were recorded, £2 carry forward to next week..

Duffer of the day was Bumpers with 34 points, who will receive the necessary uplift.

Deputy Duffer was the Cardinal with 36 points, he too will receive an uplift.

In joint second place with 42 points was Shotgun and Brains.

But the winner and overall Champ for the week was the Rabbi who scored 43 points thanks to a magnificent (if somewhat fortunate) eagle on the tenth hole!

Geezers Cards were recorded

Prof. 40p,Cardinal 40p,Bumpers 20p,Simon 60p,Shotgun 20p,Brains 20p,Shagpile 20p.

Swears £1.20 fully accounted for this week!!!

No toasts, but honourable mention to The Cardinal and The Laird who were second and third in last Wednesday’s Seniors competition.

Nothing further to note other that the following suggestions for away days:
Brampton, Brancepeth, Durham City, Arcott Hall, Dunstanburgh, Alndale.

Tee times booked for next week by Rabbi.

Apologies from everyone who was not present.

Eleven hardy souls ventured forth to the course and were rewarded with a lovely day. The golf took second place to the camaraderie, wit and repartee.

Two twos were recorded, both by Winker who pocketed the spoils.

Duffer of the day was Crocs with 32 points, who will receive the necessary uplift.

Deputy Duffers was the ever popular Rabbi with 35 points, he too will receive an uplift according to his performance.

In second place and pocketing even more cash was Winker

But the winner and overall Champ for the week was the Laird who was celebrating the return of Mrs. Laird from a week on Lanzarote with Quok.

Geezers Cards were recorded

Laird 40p,Rabbi 40p,Crocs 80p,Laird 40p,Brains 60p,Soapy 40p.

The Geezer wanted it noted that he did not beat the Chair!

£1.50 was contributed from Jocks, Rabbi and ANO for wrong attire on Friday.

It is with regret that it must be recorded that the swears money was in deficit, at least £2.40 was admitted to but only £1.80 was in the pot!! MOHGS must reflect!

Toasts to Prof for winning the Senior’s Competition two weeks ago. Rabbi and Shotgun for winning the Seniors Comp. last Wednesday. President for ‘bon voyage’ on his Antipodean trip. The Falcon for his return to the fold. Morpeth Town for winning their FA Vase semi-final resulting in a trip to Wembley on 22 May. England Rugby for achieving the Grand Slam. Crocs for organising las t Friday’s excursion to Bridlepath. The Cardinal for recording the meeting. (well everybody else was being toasted.)

Bumpers jumpers are still to be ordered because of Shagpile’s absence. When he returns and places his order the whole consignment will be passed to Delboy for action. Little further was discussed. The Chairman stated that Whitley Bay was off the agenda as it has disappeared and was no longer on dry land.

At the next two meetings, MOHGS members should be in a position to state their preferred away day trip. Tee times booked for next week by Rabbi, those who can will. The meeting then disintegrated as the Chair took a conference call on a mobile phone IN THE CLUBHOUSE.

PRESENT: B.Y, B.H, P.L, C.M, A.W, D.F.

APOLOGIES: All absent friends and acquaintances

No minutes taken – just the following recollections

RESULTS: One 2’s posted by Winker who pockets the £3.00 2s sweep. Today’s event was held at the Bridle Path attended by 6 stalwart golfers. Competition was individual stableford plus an additional pairs prize. Duffer of the Day was Jockstrap with a miserly score of 34 points followed closely by Crocs as Deputy Duffer with 35 points. Team prize goes to the Rabbi & Prof with 76 points [38 ea.] and share £2.00 that being all that was left in the pot ! The individual competition was won by the Laird with an admirable 44 points and the runner up was Winker with an excellent score of 40 points. Handicap adjustments will be made in the usual manner.

BUSINESS:

Jocks proposed thanks to Crocs for his efforts in organising the event which was unanimously accepted  with good cheer.

The Prof gave his apologies for next Monday and asked if anyone was playing the following Monday 28th which is a bank holiday to which some said they were intending to play and the Rabbi would book the tee times.

Fines of £0.50 were imposed on Crocs, Rabbi & Jocks for failing to wear Mohgs gear [which is mandatory for away days]. Rabbi held the cash except that of Jocks who was short of funds so is still in debt to the tune of £0.50

Rabbi confirmed the tee times were booked at Morpeth for next Monday.

Jock St Rappe

PRESENT: F.B, T.M, B.Y, B.H, P.L, C.M, J.G, A.W, A.B-W,P.B, D.F, K.S. & non playing Bumpers back from his jaunt to Los Americas.

APOLOGIES: H.C, G.W, A.L,  M.M, G.A,

RESULTS: One 2’s posted by Team Rabbi \Winker who pocket £4.00 including roll over. Today’s event was a four ball better ball. Joint D’soD were ( Laird & Straggler) and ( Crocs & Brains) and ( Jocks & Shotgun who all achieved  with 44 points. The joint winners with 46 points were teams ( Rabbi & The Winkler ) , (the ever popular Soapy & the Geezer) and ( the Cardinal & Prof.) who all share the proceeds and get docked one shot. The duffers are awarded one customary additional shot.

TOASTS: England R.F.U. for  their  success in the 6 nations.

BUSINESS:

The chair failed to appoint a temporary secretary in the absence of Kwok so no minutes were taken so the following is my recollections of the discussions.

Last week’s minutes accepted.

Swears and Geezers cards contributed an unknown amount to the Mohgs funds.

The chair was irate at the amount of “schrapnel” [copper coinage] offered as payment for 2s etc.

Discussions on out of bounds \in the woods on the right of the 18th took place. Agreed that only one of the two Geezers cards could be awarded if the ball was lost.

Tee time for the Bridle Path on Friday was 10.15 am. Currently 6 participants.

Jocks requested members to confirm they are available for Beamish match and who would require pre-match coffee\tea and bacon sandwiches.

Tee times for next Monday booked from 8.40 am to 9.02 am

Jock St Rappe

PRESENT: F.B, T.M, P.F, B.Y, B.H, P.L, C.M, J.G & a non playing Soapy.

APOLOGIES: H.C, P.B, G.W, A.L, D.F, M.C, M.M, A.W.

£2.60 collected in swears.

RESULTS: No 2’s were posted therefore £1.60 is carried over. Today’s event was a four ball better ball. Joint D’soD were ( Kwoks & Straggler) and ( Crocs & Rabbi) with 45 points. The runners up were ( Geezer & Prof) with 48 points. The winners with an unbeatable 49 points were the ever popular pairing of ( Jocks & Brains).

TOASTS: Team GB cyclists who won the world championships.

The long suffering NU fans who were subjected to yet another miserable performance from their under performing team.

To the newly refurbished bar which was highly rated by the members of the MOHGS.

Kwok apologised for omitting to record last week’s apologies.

MINUTES OF LAST WEEK ACCEPTED UNCHALLENGED.

MATTERS ARISING:

* The Chair will put in a bulk order for jumpers for Bumpers et al when the travellers return from holiday. The Geezer and the Rabbi ordered an extra large white polo shirt and a large red polo shirt respectively, when the final order is made.

* The Rabbi agreed to look after the cash from today’s event.

* Taxi John is still on the case for the Longhirst game.

* The Crocodile has booked three tees for Friday 18th March at the Bridle Path, beginning at 10.16. The deal is a game plus a pint, or a game plus a bacon butty and coffee, for the remarkable price of £10 per punter. There appears to be at least 8 interested parties.

* Jocks has made rapid headway with the Beamish away day. The date will be Monday 11 July at Beamish, with the return leg at Morpeth on Monday 12th September. At least 8 members are interested. He intends to book 6 tee times and estimates that the cost will be approximately £12 per punter. There may be an opportunity to book food for after the games.

* The President enquired about the curry night in Gosforth and proposed a similar event in the Summer. Brains quickly suggested that it could possibly be arranged in tandem with the Bowls Day. This suggestion was warmly received and but will be subject to confirmation by the Laird upon his return from exile.

* The Chair proposed that we turn our thoughts to the Christmas party even though we are 9 months away from the momentous event. He was congratulated for his forward thinking and attention to detail but no further action was taken.

* It was decided that the draw for the Chairmanship Quaich be organised next week.

* The Geezers cards have not been in use for several weeks and this is evident in the resultant drop in revenue, which will no doubt have a knock on effect with regard to expenditure on the Christmas party and away days. The Rabbi has made a fresh set of cards which are good to go, so it was decided that they will make an appearance next week.

* There were expressions of sympathy for the Cardinal and Falcon who are both under the weather at the moment and it is hoped that they will make a speedy recovery and rejoin the fraternity promptly.

The Hon. Sec. apologised in advance for his absence next week, since he will be in Lanzarote with Mrs. Findlay, enjoying a well deserved rest from the onerous duties of detailed and unbiased reporting.

The meeting closed at 1.20.

BURT E. KWOK ( Hon. Sec.)

The meeting was enhanced by the reappearance of the best President we ever had, Soapy. Although the old codger didn’t actually play, his presence after the last few weeks of anguish, was warmly received by the members.

PRESENT: F.B, P.B, B.Y, J.G, P.F, C.M, A.W, J.P, B.H, D.F, P.L, T.M & K.S.

Today’s comp. was a 4 ball better ball.

RESULTS: There were 2×2 by (Straggler, Laird) and (Kwok, Prof). The D’soD were (Winker, Rabbi) with 38 points. Joint winners were (Straggler, Laird) and (Kwok, Prof) with 46 points apiece. Winners pulled a shot, losers gain a shot. The President eased his way back into the fellowship by presenting the prizes to the triumphant victors.

£2.60 was collected in swears.

TOASTS: The President was welcomed back into the fold by the Chair.

To Paxo and the Geezer who were part of the team which won last week’s senior’s comp.

To Prof, Laird, Brains and Kwok who were second in the same comp.

To Morpeth Town for winning on Saturday and now go into the semi final of the F.A Vase.

BARRING ONE VERY SMALL ERROR, LAST WEEKS MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED.

BUSINESS OF THE DAY:

* Taxi John has agreed to assemble a team to play the MOHGS at Longhirst at a date to be decided in the not too distant future.

* The Chair has not forgotten his long term commitment to organise a trip to Whitley Bay but for the moment the project is on the back burner, or to put it another way, dead in the water.

* The Chair is becoming increasingly frustrated at the furore surrounding the jumpers for Bumpers. He advised all would be purchasers to look at Delboy’s website to decide on items, sizes and colours, make a decision and then give him the order which will then be only too pleased to pass on to the company CEO.

Starting times next week as per.

There being no other business, the meeting closed at 12.55.

BURT E. KWOK( Hon. Sec.)

The clubhouse is in its first phase of redevelopment which meant that access could only be gained through the ladies locker room. Luckily, the Rabbi knew all the door codes and although he was unsure of his bearings in the shower room, he did manage to plot a course to the safer confines of the bar.

It appears that some of the members wives were appalled at the choice of language in last week’s minutes and Kwok was cautioned for reverting to the vernacular on one occasion, through his use of the word a***. In future it would seem that in order to avoid similar malcontent among the female section of our readership that some form of encryption may be required. Anglo Saxon terminology will therefore continue to be applied but only in extreme cases and asterisks will be used in place of significant letters in order to avoid further embarrassment to the sensibilities of the fairer s**.

The Laird was nominated as today’s chairman due to the absence of the Straggler who is down the smoke on business.

PRESENT: P.F, P.L, T.M, M.C, B.Y, R.H(non- playing), P.B, J.G, C.M, D.F, G.A, G.W, M.M, A.W.

RESULTS: There was 1×2 by El Mat who scooped the pot. DoD was the Prof with 25 points. DD’soD were Winscales and the Cardinal with 31 points apiece. The Laird was runner up with 44 points. Today’s winner with a magnificent 45 points was the indefatigable and ever popular Matador.

APOLOGIES: F.B, A.L, H.C, K.S.

TOASTS: The Prof, Kwoks and Shagpile who won last week’s senior’s competition.

To Shotgun who was a member of the victorious team at Newbiggin, last Tuesday.

LAST WEEKS MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED.

MATTERS ARISING:

* Tonight’s Injun at the Ahad will go ahead as planned. 10 members are due to attend and will meet at 4.30 in the County Hotel.

* Mr. Croc O’ Dile will book 3 tee times on 18 March for the Bridle Path at approximately 10ish. The bacon sarnie will be booked for after the game.

* Close House is booked. Members will play the Colt course at 10.30 on Monday and the  Filly course at 10.40 on Tuesday. No evening meal has been booked, therefore members have the option to remain in the clubhouse or go further afield for sustenance. The Comp. Sec asked for members preferences for the format of the contests. It was decided that better ball was the more desired option.

* Brains accepted deposits from the Hunley Hall gang. He has booked the venue for 12 competitors. The details are posted on his email.

** There are no updates on Beamish or Longhirst.

AOB: Bumpers will depart tomorrow, bound for Mexico, through the Trump wall if necessary. However he was dismayed to discover that there were no jumpers for Bumpers, due to the Chair being down the smoke on business. It appears that it will now be quite a while before Bumpers will receive the jumpers. Shagpile was also in a quandary since he was in receipt of a jumper but had been informed that it belonged to someone else and gave it for safekeeping to the Laird, since he will be incommunicado for several weeks, touring the States. Both were assured that they will be immune from fines until the Chair gets his a*** back, to attend to business here rather than business down the smoke.

* Tee off times for next week as per.

APOLOGIES: Bumpers away for next 2 weeks. El Mat absent for next 3 weeks. Shaggers away for next 4 weeks.

There being no further business, the meeting closed at 1pm.

BURT E KWOK (Hon. Sec.)

PRESENT: B.Y, P.L, P.F, J.G, G.W, T.M.

APOLOGIES: The Chair, the Laird and Jock S. arrived for the meeting but did not compete in today’s event. The Chair and Jock were both crocked and the Laird just couldn’t be arsed. Other apols from the Cardinal and Soapy.

RESULTS: Today’s event was a Texas Scramble in which Kwok, Rabbi and Prof, defeated Brains, Geezer and the Matador by a score of 62 to 64 points. There were 2 x 2’s so the pot was shared.

£1 was collected in swears, which the Laird has retained for safekeeping.

TOASTS: To the Geezer and Paxo who won last week’s club competition with a massive score of 53 points.

LAST WEEKS MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED UNCHALLENGED.

The Chair was gently rebuked for wearing inappropriate dress, in that he appeared in a pair of jeans, albeit M&S specials but nonetheless a slur on the customs and traditions of a fine old club like Morpeth.

MATTERS ARISING:

* The Bridle Path is all but settled. One member enquired if it was too late to apply for a place. Crocs will no doubt be in a position to answer this question at the next meeting.

* The Cardinal has booked Close House for 11/12 April and will require a payment of £92/attendee by next Monday.

* Brains has booked Hunley Hall for 15/16 May. The cost is £99 for a single and £89 for a double. Tee off times will be approximately 1.30 on Sunday and 11am on Monday.

* The Chair reported that Crocs is negotiating a game v a select group from Longhirst GC, along the lines of the Newbiggin enterprise. More information will no doubt follow.

* The Comp. Sec. has been quietly formulating a plan for a game against the Beamish Dirty Dozen and a return match at Morpeth. It was thought that a date in July, possibly the 11th or 18th at Beamish with the return fixture at Morpeth on either the 5th or 12th of September.

The tee times for next week are as per. The Chair gave advanced notice that he will be unavailable as he has business down the smoke.

The meeting closed at 1.10.

Burty Kwok(Hon. Sec.)

Today’s meeting was a genuinely sad and heartfelt affair, after it was revealed by the Chair, that Margaret, the beloved wife of our President Keith, had passed away on Sunday. There was a moment of stunned silence as the news sank in, before each of the members expressed their feelings of sympathy and condolence for the bereaved family and friends at this time of grief. We didn’t know Margaret very well, but we know through many references that she was greatly loved and admired by the President and her sudden passing will leave him In deep despair. We can only imagine his heartache at this time but we would like to assure him of our relentless support as he navigates his path through the many stages of mourning and remorse.

PRESENT: B.Y, M.M, J.G, G.W, D.F, P.L, M.C, A.W, F.B, P.B, C.M, A.B-W, P.F.

APOLOGIES: K.S, B.H, H.C, A.L.

RESULTS: There were 2×2’s posted by Crocs and the Laird. DoD was the unfortunate Prof with a miserable 24 points. DDoD was Brains with 33 points. The runner up was Crocs with 45 points. The ultimate winner and champine of the day was the Straggler with a magnificent 46 points. £9 went to the winner and £4 to the runner up.

TOASTS: Danny Willet who won the Dubai Open.

LAST WEEKS MIUTES WERE ACCEPTED UNCHALLENGED.

MATTERS ARISING:

* Crocs reported that the Bridle Path is available to visitors on Fridays at a cost of £10, which includes a bacon sarnie. It was decided to book a game on Friday 18 March.

* There are at least 12 prospective candidates for the proposed visit to Close House on 11/12 April. The Cardinal will attempt to make arrangements for the visit.

* The preferred date for the Hunley Hall trip was 15/16 May. At least 12 members displayed an interest and Brains will make appropriate arrangements.

FINANCIAL REPORT: The Fin. Sec., revealed that there is a total of £85.55 in the kitty, of which a proportion will be made available to subsidise the injun meal at Ahad’s on 22 Feb. 10 members intend to attend.

Tee times next week are 8.40, 8.48, 8.56 and 9.04.

The meeting concluded in sombre mood at 1.10.

BURT KWOK ( Hon. Sec.)