The meeting was enhanced by the reappearance of the best President we ever had, Soapy. Although the old codger didn’t actually play, his presence after the last few weeks of anguish, was warmly received by the members.

PRESENT: F.B, P.B, B.Y, J.G, P.F, C.M, A.W, J.P, B.H, D.F, P.L, T.M & K.S.

Today’s comp. was a 4 ball better ball.

RESULTS: There were 2×2 by (Straggler, Laird) and (Kwok, Prof). The D’soD were (Winker, Rabbi) with 38 points. Joint winners were (Straggler, Laird) and (Kwok, Prof) with 46 points apiece. Winners pulled a shot, losers gain a shot. The President eased his way back into the fellowship by presenting the prizes to the triumphant victors.

£2.60 was collected in swears.

TOASTS: The President was welcomed back into the fold by the Chair.

To Paxo and the Geezer who were part of the team which won last week’s senior’s comp.

To Prof, Laird, Brains and Kwok who were second in the same comp.

To Morpeth Town for winning on Saturday and now go into the semi final of the F.A Vase.

BARRING ONE VERY SMALL ERROR, LAST WEEKS MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED.

BUSINESS OF THE DAY:

* Taxi John has agreed to assemble a team to play the MOHGS at Longhirst at a date to be decided in the not too distant future.

* The Chair has not forgotten his long term commitment to organise a trip to Whitley Bay but for the moment the project is on the back burner, or to put it another way, dead in the water.

* The Chair is becoming increasingly frustrated at the furore surrounding the jumpers for Bumpers. He advised all would be purchasers to look at Delboy’s website to decide on items, sizes and colours, make a decision and then give him the order which will then be only too pleased to pass on to the company CEO.

Starting times next week as per.

There being no other business, the meeting closed at 12.55.

BURT E. KWOK( Hon. Sec.)

The clubhouse is in its first phase of redevelopment which meant that access could only be gained through the ladies locker room. Luckily, the Rabbi knew all the door codes and although he was unsure of his bearings in the shower room, he did manage to plot a course to the safer confines of the bar.

It appears that some of the members wives were appalled at the choice of language in last week’s minutes and Kwok was cautioned for reverting to the vernacular on one occasion, through his use of the word a***. In future it would seem that in order to avoid similar malcontent among the female section of our readership that some form of encryption may be required. Anglo Saxon terminology will therefore continue to be applied but only in extreme cases and asterisks will be used in place of significant letters in order to avoid further embarrassment to the sensibilities of the fairer s**.

The Laird was nominated as today’s chairman due to the absence of the Straggler who is down the smoke on business.

PRESENT: P.F, P.L, T.M, M.C, B.Y, R.H(non- playing), P.B, J.G, C.M, D.F, G.A, G.W, M.M, A.W.

RESULTS: There was 1×2 by El Mat who scooped the pot. DoD was the Prof with 25 points. DD’soD were Winscales and the Cardinal with 31 points apiece. The Laird was runner up with 44 points. Today’s winner with a magnificent 45 points was the indefatigable and ever popular Matador.

APOLOGIES: F.B, A.L, H.C, K.S.

TOASTS: The Prof, Kwoks and Shagpile who won last week’s senior’s competition.

To Shotgun who was a member of the victorious team at Newbiggin, last Tuesday.

LAST WEEKS MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED.

MATTERS ARISING:

* Tonight’s Injun at the Ahad will go ahead as planned. 10 members are due to attend and will meet at 4.30 in the County Hotel.

* Mr. Croc O’ Dile will book 3 tee times on 18 March for the Bridle Path at approximately 10ish. The bacon sarnie will be booked for after the game.

* Close House is booked. Members will play the Colt course at 10.30 on Monday and the  Filly course at 10.40 on Tuesday. No evening meal has been booked, therefore members have the option to remain in the clubhouse or go further afield for sustenance. The Comp. Sec asked for members preferences for the format of the contests. It was decided that better ball was the more desired option.

* Brains accepted deposits from the Hunley Hall gang. He has booked the venue for 12 competitors. The details are posted on his email.

** There are no updates on Beamish or Longhirst.

AOB: Bumpers will depart tomorrow, bound for Mexico, through the Trump wall if necessary. However he was dismayed to discover that there were no jumpers for Bumpers, due to the Chair being down the smoke on business. It appears that it will now be quite a while before Bumpers will receive the jumpers. Shagpile was also in a quandary since he was in receipt of a jumper but had been informed that it belonged to someone else and gave it for safekeeping to the Laird, since he will be incommunicado for several weeks, touring the States. Both were assured that they will be immune from fines until the Chair gets his a*** back, to attend to business here rather than business down the smoke.

* Tee off times for next week as per.

APOLOGIES: Bumpers away for next 2 weeks. El Mat absent for next 3 weeks. Shaggers away for next 4 weeks.

There being no further business, the meeting closed at 1pm.

BURT E KWOK (Hon. Sec.)

PRESENT: B.Y, P.L, P.F, J.G, G.W, T.M.

APOLOGIES: The Chair, the Laird and Jock S. arrived for the meeting but did not compete in today’s event. The Chair and Jock were both crocked and the Laird just couldn’t be arsed. Other apols from the Cardinal and Soapy.

RESULTS: Today’s event was a Texas Scramble in which Kwok, Rabbi and Prof, defeated Brains, Geezer and the Matador by a score of 62 to 64 points. There were 2 x 2’s so the pot was shared.

£1 was collected in swears, which the Laird has retained for safekeeping.

TOASTS: To the Geezer and Paxo who won last week’s club competition with a massive score of 53 points.

LAST WEEKS MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED UNCHALLENGED.

The Chair was gently rebuked for wearing inappropriate dress, in that he appeared in a pair of jeans, albeit M&S specials but nonetheless a slur on the customs and traditions of a fine old club like Morpeth.

MATTERS ARISING:

* The Bridle Path is all but settled. One member enquired if it was too late to apply for a place. Crocs will no doubt be in a position to answer this question at the next meeting.

* The Cardinal has booked Close House for 11/12 April and will require a payment of £92/attendee by next Monday.

* Brains has booked Hunley Hall for 15/16 May. The cost is £99 for a single and £89 for a double. Tee off times will be approximately 1.30 on Sunday and 11am on Monday.

* The Chair reported that Crocs is negotiating a game v a select group from Longhirst GC, along the lines of the Newbiggin enterprise. More information will no doubt follow.

* The Comp. Sec. has been quietly formulating a plan for a game against the Beamish Dirty Dozen and a return match at Morpeth. It was thought that a date in July, possibly the 11th or 18th at Beamish with the return fixture at Morpeth on either the 5th or 12th of September.

The tee times for next week are as per. The Chair gave advanced notice that he will be unavailable as he has business down the smoke.

The meeting closed at 1.10.

Burty Kwok(Hon. Sec.)

Today’s meeting was a genuinely sad and heartfelt affair, after it was revealed by the Chair, that Margaret, the beloved wife of our President Keith, had passed away on Sunday. There was a moment of stunned silence as the news sank in, before each of the members expressed their feelings of sympathy and condolence for the bereaved family and friends at this time of grief. We didn’t know Margaret very well, but we know through many references that she was greatly loved and admired by the President and her sudden passing will leave him In deep despair. We can only imagine his heartache at this time but we would like to assure him of our relentless support as he navigates his path through the many stages of mourning and remorse.

PRESENT: B.Y, M.M, J.G, G.W, D.F, P.L, M.C, A.W, F.B, P.B, C.M, A.B-W, P.F.

APOLOGIES: K.S, B.H, H.C, A.L.

RESULTS: There were 2×2’s posted by Crocs and the Laird. DoD was the unfortunate Prof with a miserable 24 points. DDoD was Brains with 33 points. The runner up was Crocs with 45 points. The ultimate winner and champine of the day was the Straggler with a magnificent 46 points. £9 went to the winner and £4 to the runner up.

TOASTS: Danny Willet who won the Dubai Open.

LAST WEEKS MIUTES WERE ACCEPTED UNCHALLENGED.

MATTERS ARISING:

* Crocs reported that the Bridle Path is available to visitors on Fridays at a cost of £10, which includes a bacon sarnie. It was decided to book a game on Friday 18 March.

* There are at least 12 prospective candidates for the proposed visit to Close House on 11/12 April. The Cardinal will attempt to make arrangements for the visit.

* The preferred date for the Hunley Hall trip was 15/16 May. At least 12 members displayed an interest and Brains will make appropriate arrangements.

FINANCIAL REPORT: The Fin. Sec., revealed that there is a total of £85.55 in the kitty, of which a proportion will be made available to subsidise the injun meal at Ahad’s on 22 Feb. 10 members intend to attend.

Tee times next week are 8.40, 8.48, 8.56 and 9.04.

The meeting concluded in sombre mood at 1.10.

BURT KWOK ( Hon. Sec.)

PRESENT: J.G, P.B, D.F, P.F, F.B, B.H, B.Y, K.S, P.L, C.M, M.M, M.C.

APOLOGIES: E.E, A.L, H.C, G.W.

Only 11 holes played today due to the strong winds which made conditions extremely hazardous. The comp. was four ball better ball.

RESULTS: There were 2 x 2 posted by Shagpile and the Laird. D’soD were Bumpers and Straggler with 24 points. Brains and the Cardinal were runners up with 29 points. The winners with a magnificent 30 points were Prof and Crocs.

Before today’s meeting, the Prof presented Kwok with a collection of minute books and an attaché case, with which to carry the books, and a selection of pens of differing colours, to record the salient events of meetings for the next ten years. Kwok was immensely grateful for this act of unbridled generosity since he has been forced hitherto by the upper echelons of the society to bear the cost of stationery from his own meagre financial resources. Kwok was hopeful that he would live long enough to make good use of the new stationery since at his present age he realises that life is very tenuous and has already stopped buying green bananas.

The Chair stated categorically, that in future he will never ever question the decision making of the Hon. Comp. Sec., after today’s decision to curtail the number of holes played to 11.

TOASTS: Terry Wogan RIP.

Jamie Murray and partner for winning the Australian tennis championship.

LAST WEEKS MINUTES ACCEPTED UNCHALLENGED.

* The Rabbi has made up 4 new sets of Geezers cards. He expects 5 cards to be returned after every game and will penalise any member who loses a card, with a fine of 50p.

* The Chair was cautioned by the President for omitting to bring his gavel.

* Bumpers announced that the bar refurbishment would begin on 22 Feb. and assured the group that sufficient finance had been obtained through the selling of 3 life memberships. The MOHGS were reminded that they had pledged £25 to this cause.

* No news about the Bridle Path.

* The President has enquired about arranging a special meal at the Char Mausum and was thanked for his efforts but it was decided that a venue in Gosforth, namely  the Ahad was the preferred option, preceded by drinks at the County Hotel, at approximately 4.30, on 22 Feb.

* It was decided that the Close House deal was excellent value and the Cardinal will probe further.

* Brains has made further enquiries about the availability of Hunley Hall. There are vacancies on 16/17 and 22/23 May. B.H proposed that we attend Close House early in the season and H.H later. It was agreed that all interested parties should contact Brains before Friday, stating their preferred date and or availability. The cost of the expedition would be £89/person.

* The arrangements for the visit of the Rubble gang are well under way. 14 members are required to make up the team and preference will be given to those who played at Ainsdale. There will be a meal afterwards and the President is confident that there would be enough food to cater for extra guests if required. The game kicks off at 9.40 on 9 May. The President will be captain for the day.

* St. Rappe announced that the Beamish date is now even more flexible in the light of the present uncertainty of future fixtures.

BUSINESS OF DAY:

* The Laird, having checked last week’s spreadsheet, enquired whether the Comp. Sec. had allocated the correct division of cash to the winner and runner up. The Comp. Sec. said he would look into it.

* All swears money for this week and last is now in the safekeeping of the Cardinal.

* The Comp. Sec., presented as food for thought, the notion that all officers of the c/tee should be in post for a maximum of 4 years. The Cardinal was of the opinion that this was a matter for discussion at the AGM.

* The Chair promised to contact Delboy about the possibility of making a new order for MOHGS mufti. There was also talk about the possibility of ordering hats which included the logo. There was general agreement that a fine of 50p should be levied on those members who neglected to wear the MOHGS jumpers on the first Monday of the month. Those members who did not yet possess the MOHGS regalia would be exempt from fines.

The meeting closed at 12.30.

BURT E. Kwok (Hon. Sec.)

PRESENT: A. B-W, K.S, M.C, B.Y, G.W, J.G, P.F, D.F, P.L, T.M, F.B, C.M.

APOLS: B.H, P.B, H.C, M.M, A.L.

RESULTS: There was 1 x 2 by M.C. Today’s comp. was a four ball better ball. D’soD were Kwok and the Laird with 43 points. DD’soD were the Rabbi and El Mat with 44 points. Runners up were the Prof and Straggler with 49 points. The winners with a massive score of 52 points were the Geezer and Crocs.

£2.60 was collected in swears and is in the safekeeping of the Chair.

TOASTS: George Woodward R.I.P.

Brains and the Prof. who won last week’s senior’s comp.

Noel and Fee on the good news of their pregnancy, and to the Chair, who is revelling in the reflected glory.

THE MINUTES OF THE LAST MEETING WERE ACCEPTED WITHOUT CHALLENGE.

BUSINESS OF THE DAY:

* The Chair felt that the Christmas Party was rather cluttered and proposed that the AGM should be held either before or after the party and thus leave more room for gaiety on the day itself. The proposal aroused general support and the date of the AGM will be considered at a future meeting.

* The Chair considered that the members should be more focussed on deciding venues for away days. The Bridle Path was put forward for consideration and C.M will enquired about availability.

* The Cardinal, it was reported, has discovered a deal at Close House, which includes DB&B for £99 as well as 2 rounds of golf.

R.H and E.E entered the meeting at this point and were warmly welcomed.

* Brains volunteered to check the availability of Hunley Hall on or around 22 May.

* Barney Rubbles crew are here to do battle on 9 May.

* The Comp. Sec. reminded the group that we are due to play at Beamish on 16 May but that the date is flexible.

* The Rabbi welcomed Marcus Chisholm to today’s event and asked if he had given consideration to a nickname. Marcus recalled that his nickname at school had been Bumpers and this immediately impressed the members, who agreed that this would become his future monicker.

* The Geezer in a unilateral display of generosity revealed that he was willing to carry Jock’s clubs at a future date. Jocks tearfully thanked the Geezer but declined the offer, insisting that his back problems were receding and that he was confident that he would be sufficiently recovered to carry his own clubs next week. Brains enquired, tongue in cheek, if the Geezer was up to giving Jethro a piggy back around the course, whilst buggies were out of commission. The Geezer made no comment.

* The Chair asked for support for a Cockney themed event but was snubbed by everyone save the Geezer and Kwok who then delivered an impromptu rendition of “Roll out the Barrel.”

* The new rules of golf insist that h/caps should now be based on 9/10’s rather than 3/4 of the full h/cap. The Comp. Sec. observed  that this new rule would pertain during his watch.

* The Laird proposed that in future the 6 or more Geezer card should be replaced with a double bogey card. The proposal was approved.

* Shotgun asked for clarification on the in the trees card. He was informed that, in the trees, also includes under the canopy.

* Thanks were extended to Shagpile for organising the away day to Newbiggin and for the hospitality that was extended to the visitors.

* It was decided to ditch the Char Mausum as a venue for an Injun, in favour of an Injun,TBD, in Gosforth on 22 February.

* Marcus gave his email address as, ” marcuschisholm@btinternet.com .”

Tee times next week are, 8.48, 8.56 and 9.04.

The meeting closed at 1.10, since there was no further business.

BURT E. KWOK ( Hon. Sec. )

PRESENT: B.Y, J.G, K.S, J.P, B.H, P.F, M.M, P.L. ( G.W attended for the meeting only.)

APOLOGIES: All absent friends.

Nobody was prepared to stand in for the absent Chair so the meeting was rudderless.

RESULTS: The contest was a better ball comp. played over 15 holes due to the inclement weather. There were three 2’s all by the Soapy-Paxo team. D’soD were Kwok-Prof with 34 points. Rabbi-Shagpile were runners up with 37 points. The winners with a superb 40 points were  Jocks-Brains. All current handicaps will remain in force until 1st. Jan., when they will revert to club handicaps.

40p was collected in swears and delivered to the Rabbi for safekeeping.

TOASTS: To Andrew Murray for winning SPOTY.

To a young boy suffering from Spina Bifida who won the Helen Rawlinson award.

To all absent friends.

The President thought it would be a nice gesture if everyone donated individually to the cost of the new bar refurbishments. Arguments were made for and against his proposal, so it was left hanging and no Gordian knot was cut.

Brains was lauded for his attempts to get the Events Diary up and running although it was reported that many members found it impossible to open the attachment. He assured the gathering that the glitch had now been rectified and he had posted a new refined itinerary and sent it to all members. The Secretary must have been missed off the list because he still awaits the revised version.

Talk turned to expectations for the new year and Paxo revealed that he had noticed a great deal to be had at Roxborough, where D, B&B as well as golf could be had for as little as £79 pp.

At this point in the meeting, fragmentation occurred as well as juvenile bickering and sniggering and sniping. This was no doubt due to lack of solid leadership.

AOB: It was decided to have a celebratory curry in the new year when all the weary travellers return. The Char Mausum was mentioned as a possible venue.

There are at least 4 members who are willing to play on Monday 28th. Dec., otherwise the next competitive game will be on Monday 4th. Jan.

The meeting closed at 1pm.🕐

BURT KWOK(Hon. Sec.)😆😆😆⛳️

PRESENT: B.Y, K.S, B.H, M.M, P.L. F.B, N.B.

APOLOGIES: All absent friends.

RESULTS: One 2 posted by Prof. [R.Y.] on the 4th. Duffer was Desmond [N.B.]-35 points and Deputy duffer was Shagpile [M.M.]-37 points. Joint runners up were Soapy [K.S.] and the Prof [R.Y.] with 41 points and the winner on the day was the Rabbi [P.L.] with an outstanding 46 points.

TOASTS: To Charlie Heaps, the 6 year old grandson of Shagpile [and future Mohg?] who won the painting competition as reported in the Morpeth Gazette, sponsored by the Sanderson Arcade and BMW Garage.

To Paxo who achieved a “Hole in One” today in an alternative sweep.

FINANCES: No swears money or Geezers cards.

LAST WEEKS MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED. —- No matters arising.

AOB: Tee booked for next Monday from 8.48 – 9.02 am when club handicaps will come into force.

Jock St Rappe (Comp. Sec.)

PRESENT: P.B, F.B, K.S, A.B-W, M.M, P.F, C.M, A.M, J.G, G.A, P.L, B.Y, B.H.

The President, rather  gallantly distributed a very good quality box of mints which had been donated for the occasion by his daughter in law with the inscription “Grumpy old Gits mints.” The members were then regaled with a glass of hot punch which hit the spot and set the scene for more Christmas hilarity. The President revealed that he had shared a Christmas flask of whisky with the Comp. Sec. during their round of golf and he was now 3 sheets to the wind.

RESULTS: There was one 2 by Brains on the FIRST hole. Yes I said the FIRST HOLE. DoD was the Kid with 20 points. I said 20. DDoD was the Cardinal with 21 points. Runner up was the Prof with 28 points. The winner of the Christmas Plate with a grand total of 29 points was the indefatigable and ever popular Shotgun.

The President presented the Plate to Shotgun. He then presented the Quaiche to Jocks and the Chalice to Crocs. Crocs was the Golfer of the Year, with the best eclectic score of the year.

All trophies were in pristine condition, save for the Plate, which in the opinion of Tommy Cassidy had been maltreated. The twat.

THE MINUTES OF LAST YEARS AGM WERE ACCEPTED AS A TRUE RECORD.

MATTERS ARISING: The President was keen to know when the Whitley Bay trip would be organised. The Chair again kept his powder dry.

STATEMENT BY THE CHAIR: The Chairman named and thanked all the officers of the society for their continued pursuit of excellence. He hailed Brains for his new initiative in compiling a diary of events. Shagpile indicated that he would be prepared to continue the good work of diary secretary next year. He also welcomed the new members- Shaggers, Winker, Winscales, Paxo and Shotgun. He spoke warmly about the away days and thanked the organisers. He thought that we should look northwards for future away days and bemoaned the fact that we were unable to visit Hunley Hall this year. He insisted that he would personally ensure that we visit Whitley Bay next year. He finished his speech with a toast to Her Majesty which has now become an annual ritual and end to his musings.

FINANCIAL REPORT: The Fin. Sec. declared with a flourish that today’s meal would be paid for from the contents of the swear box. He was delighted to report that swearing had increased exponentially and the Geezers cards had also swelled the kitty. He further reported hat there was a reasonable reserve of £80 in the box. It was decided that due to the extremely healthy financial situation, we would donate £25 towards the cost of the bar refurbishment.

COMP. SEC. REPORT: There were 52 competitions this year. The Rabbi was top attender    with 45 tournaments under his belt. B. Kwok was the most successful contestant with 9 wins and 3 runners up places to his credit. Crocs had the most 2’s, followed by the Laird. Crocs was the eclectic champ with an average win/game, including 2’s, of £1.79.

He listed the away days and reported that all venues and outcomes had been very enjoyable in different ways. He listed the winners of all events and the paper copy of his musings is available for inspection c/o the Hon. Sec. One event of note was the inaugural competition for the Chair’s Quaiche which was won by the Comp. Sec. himself.

The Comp. sec. congratulated all winners and reflected that the year had been memorable and enjoyable. He was pleased with the h/cap system.

The best Comp. Sec. we have ever had, finished his statement with a veritable bombshell by announcing that this would be his last year in post and that next year he intended to step aside and allow a new member to take over the reins.

ELECTION OF OFFICERS FOR 2016: All current officers were re-elected en bloc for the 2016 season.

TOASTS: To Colin Montgomery, Jamie Donaldson, Blyth Spartans, NUFC and all our absent friends.

The meeting closed at 3.05 and the Yuletide festivities began.

BURT E. KWOK(Hon. Sec.)

PRESENT: P.L, P.B, B.H, C.M, J.G, B.Y, F.B, K.S, P.F. — M.M attended meeting but did not play.

APOLOGIES: To all absent friends especially the Laird, the Geezer and Winker, who are all on long haul flights to far flung regions.

RESULTS: There were 2×2’s by the Straggler and Crocs. DoD was the unfortunate Cardinal with an almost respectable 30 points. DDoD was the Rabbi, with 33 points. The runner up on 40 points was Brains. The winner for the second consecutive week with 44 points was the indomitable Kwok, whose h/cap descends to its lowest ever point of 16, and now puts him in range of the big guns of the sport.

FINANCES: Crocs and Kwok were awarded £1.20 each which was due to them for last week’s 2’s comp. The Rabbi handed over £4.10 to the Treasurer which had been in safekeeping since last week. There was £2.60 in swears. The Fin. Sec, revealed that he is willing to subsidise next week’s Christmas party to the tune of £100. This news was greeted warmly by the members.

TOASTS: To all absent friends.

To the Kid and Crocs who successfully predicted the correct score and the scorers of the Newcastle v Liverpool match.

To the Comp. Sec. who won £4 from his Beamish buddies on the outcome of the same match.

CHRISTMAS PARTY: Some doubt was expressed as to whether or not, next week was THE Christmas Party. The President was in no doubt and assured the throng that his mince pies and mulled wine would be available to add a festive touch. The AGM agenda was accepted, as presented recently by the admirable Kwok. The Soc. Sec. declared with a flourish that chicken curry, nan bread and poppadoms would be available. A straw poll revealed that at least 9 people were committed. The Chair kept his powder dry.

The President was keen to have a New Year party when the boys are back in town.

The Rabbi has booked the tee for 10am next week.

The competition will be for the Christmas plate, using 3 clubs and putter over a shortened course, which may be dependent on weather conditions.

LAST WEEKS MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED. —- No matters arising.

EVENTS DIARY: Brains proposed that the MOHGS should give serious thought to drawing up an events diary for 2016. There was broad agreement that this was a top idea but that a certain amount of effort and dedication was needed to get the project up and running. After a deal of good natured banter, Brains agreed that since it was his idea, he was willing to begin compiling a diary but stressed that he didn’t envisage that this would be a permanent position and that others would be willing to take up the cudgels in subsequent years. Brains was given a gentleman’s agreement that this would indeed be the case.

AOB: The Crocodile revisited the thorny old debate about the damaged Christmas Plate, which for the last year has been in the safekeeping of Kwok, the current holder. Kwok declared emphatically that the trophy was in perfect condition when he passed it on to Crocs, who then delivered it for engraving to the former footballer Tommy Cassidy. Tommy C. informed Crocs that in his opinion someone had been chucking the Plate around like a frisbee and occasioned damage on the revered trophy. Apropos nothing, the Chair jumped in with both feet and declared that he was 99% convinced that Kwok was guilty of inflicting the damage. Kwok scoured the flint faced looks of his colleagues for some sign of solace or sympathy but none was forthcoming until the fair minded Cardinal suggested that it could possibly have been damaged whilst in transit from Crocs to Cassidy. Crocs shook his head in violent rebuttal and insisted that Kwok was the perpetrator of the monstrous act of desecration. The kangaroo court appeared to have made its decision. Kwok was hung out to dry.

NEWBIGGIN: Shagpile has made arrangements for a game on 18 Jan. The cost will be £12/person for a round of golf and a bacon sandwich, starting at 10am. He will be looking for definite numbers in the new year.

MORE AOB: The Chairman’s Quaiche and the desecrated Plate will be presented at the AGM.

Burt E. Kwok (Hon. Sec.)