PRESENT: P.F, D.F, K.S, J.G, P.L, G.W, B.H, T.M, T.H.

APOLOGIES: Falcon, Straggler, Jethro, Biggles, Cardinal, Crocs.

RESULTS: There were no 2’s posted. The DoD was El Mat with 25 points. The Rabbi was DDoD with 32 points. Runners up were the Laird and St. Rappe with 36 points apiece. The winner and this weeks champine was the ever popular Geezer with 37 points. The Geezer informed the group that Mr. B.H missed a sitter of a putt on the last hole which would have given him a share of the lead. Strap with his usual good nature, laughed this off—–through gritted teeth.

FINANCES: There was £1.20 in swears. The 2’s money carried forward was £1.80. The Geezer’s cards realised a total of £2.80——– Soapy(40p), Laird(20p), Kwok(20p), Brains(60p), El Mat(40p), Strappe(60p), Geezer(20p), Mr. McKay(20p).

The President praised the Geezer for the introduction of the cards which he remarked, not only added to the conviviality of the occasion, but also increased the kitty for use in future jaunts.

T.H, J.G and G.W, offered their excuses and left early.

THE RABBI ASSUMED RESPONSIBILITY FOR CHAIRING THE MEETING.

LAST WEEK’S  MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED AS A TRUE RECORD.

DALMAHOY: Owing to the fact that St. Rappe was unable to attend the away day, there was general agreement that another date should be sought.However, this may not be possible if the Cardinal has already booked the venue. To his credit, Strappe, remarked that he was aware that there would never be a date which was suitable for everyone and that he was prepared to bite the bullet if the Cardinal had completed the booking.

QUAICH: The Comp. Sec. has devised a schedule for the competition which he will attach to the minutes. The first game should be completed by May 4 and the second round by June 15. The semi final should be played by August 24 and the final by September 28. All games should be played if possible on Mondays. The competition could begin as early as next week, depending upon the availability of contestants.

The Comp. Sec was praised for his forward thinking and planning. It was observed that he is so efficient that we should change his nickname to Nissan. The Geezer offered the name Nismo, since this is Nissan’s latest top of the range model, which his wife has recently purchased.

TOASTS: To the Geezer and his colleagues who won last week’s Senior’s Comp, by a margin of a massive 9 strokes.

To the Tigers for their second consecutive win.

Geezer’s Cards: The ever efficient Comp. Sec. has carried out an analysis of the Cards, which was requested last week by Brains. He has added columns to his already crowded data results sheet, which he hopes to update weekly.

The Geezer, rather gallantly paid 20p to allow Strappe to berate the Laird for a perceived slight.

The Laird had very eagerly imbibed Soapy’s Bovril on the 10th tee and offered his thanks to Margaret who had unselfishly prepared the mixture for her lucky spouse.

Tee times for next week are, 8.48, 8.56 and 9.04.

There being no other business, the meeting closed at 1pm.

BURT E KWOK(Hon. Sec.)

PRESENT: F.B, P.L, T.M, D.F, K.S, P.B, P.F, J.G. G.W (attended meeting, didn’t not play).

The results were delayed because the Chair announced, ” We’re lacking Brains.” Once Brains appeared, the meeting began.

RESULTS: The Laird agreed to be guest Comp. Sec. due to the absence of St. Rap. He remarked that it had been a very competitive morning with some very close results. DoD were F.B and D.F with 40 points. The winners were P.F and P.L with 44 points. T.M and P.B had 42 points, whilst J.G and K.S had 41 points. Winners h/caps to be deducted one shot and losers increased by one shot. There were 2×2’s by Soapy and the Cardinal who shared a pot of £1.60.

GEEZER’S CARDS: F.B(20p), P.B(40p), T.M(20p), P.F(40p), J.G(60p)——-£1.80.

Brains reckoned that the Geezers Cards are biased against the high h/cappers and would like an analysis of the results to prove/disprove his theory.

There was 60p in swears. The Chair reluctantly coughed up all monies which he had been holding for safekeeping during the absence of the Fin. Sec. A total of £6.60 was begrudgingly extracted.

APOLOGIES: Minto, Hallett, Evans.

LAST WEEK’S MINUTES ACCEPTED AS A TRUE RECORD OF EVENTS.

The date of the proposed away day to Dalmahoy has been changed to 10 May owing to the Soc. Sec., being involved in a competition for the Seniors in his new role as Captain on 18 May. It was deemed important that he was supported by the MOHGS in view of his recent elevated status. The President, with typical generosity of spirit proposed the change of date. He will attempt to attend the venue but will be obliged to return home early on Monday morning to attend a prior engagement. Ten members signified genuine interest in attending, with the possibility of the Kid, Snooty, Desmond and Kwok junior also turning out.

There followed the draw for the CHAIRMAN’S QUAICH.

The Cardinal v The Falcon

The Straggler—–Bye

The Geezer v Brains

The Rabbi——-Bye

Croc O’ Dile v Desmond

Jock St. Rappe—-Bye

Soapy v The Laird

Delboy v Kwok

ANY OTHER BUSINESS: The Chair remarked that he had observed that there appeared to be a sub group of MOHGS, whom he referred to as shopkeepers, because they play regularly on Wednesdays. He indicated that he felt snubbed, since he had been dropped by the group and was forced to find solace in the company of sundry others. The Laird opined that it was the Chairs own fault since he had insisted on playing later in the day.

The Chair was castigated by Kwok for telling tales and snitching on Kwok over alleged swearing misdemeanours. The Chair offered no signs of remorse and indeed paid 20p in advance before calling Kwok a ” Little turd.” Kwok responded by paying 20p in advance before telling the Chair to ” F#### off.”

Tee times next week 8.56 & 9.04. The Rabbi was thanked for booking the tee times.

BURT E KWOK (Hon. Sec)

PRESENT: P.F, K.S, D.F, J.G, T.H( left early), T.M, F.B, C.M, B.H,P.L.

APOLOGIES: Biggles, El Mat, Jethro, Cardinal, Falcon.

RESULTS: There were 2 x 2’s, both by the esteemed Laird on the 8th and 14th. He received a total of £4, including last week’s pot. DoD was Soapy with 34 points. DDoD were the Rabbi, Crocs and Mr. McKay with 39 points. On 43 points, the runners up were Strap and Brains. The winner for the second successive week was the indefatigable, affable, silver surfer, the Laird, with an incredible 46 points.

TOASTS: To the England rugby team for their win against the odds over Wales.

To Kwok’s son, Mark for gaining promotion and a move to Cambridge.

Geezer’s cards realised a total of £2.20——- B.H(20p), P.F(20p), P.L(60p), J.G(40p), K.S(40p), D.F(20p), T.H(20p). The swears money was £2. The Chair is holding the cash during the absence of the Treasurer.

LAST WEEK’S MINUTED WERE ACCEPTED AS A TRUE RECORD.

Kwok was thanked for his accurate and incisive reporting.

MATTERS ARISING: It was decided that we should put our eggs in the one basket and plump for 17 May as the preferred date for the away trip to Dalmahoy. The Chair castigated the MOHGS for their dilatory response, since only 3 people had signified an interest. He insisted that participants MUST confirm their attendance this week in order that the Cardinal can book the venue in good time.

SOAPY’S DAY: The Competition date for the Soap Dish was confirmed as June 8th. Soapy further confirmed that he would post money behind the bar for a drink for all competitors. For a brief moment it was expected that the Chair would match the President, £ for £, but the Chair categorically claimed that this would not be the case and that he would not be forking out on this occasion. Will food be available? This will be bottomed out in a future meeting. The Chair is fast approaching a significant milestone in life’s journey, his 70th birthday. It was suggested that there should be a commemorative game to celebrate this momentous occasion but the Chair was reluctant to divulge the date. This story has legs and will no doubt run.

PLEASANT MAN: Apropos nothing, the Chair produced a moth eaten letter from his pocket and gave the secretary, Kwok, leave to read its contents to the group. The letter it transpired was from the Chair’s plastic surgeon which gave him a clear bill of health, but what was surprising was his description of the Chair as a ” PLEASANT MAN.” Eyebrows were raised and it was generally agreed that there was scant evidence of this pleasantness in his demeanour on the course. It was also agreed that the surgeon was in urgent need of a refresher course since he appears to have been taken in hook, line and sinker by the wily old codger.

TIME FOR A CHANGE: It appears that the strain of high office has taken its toll on the Chair. He confessed that he is running out of steam and is looking forward to the day when he can step aside and allow a younger buck to take over the reins. Brains observed that this could be an attention seeking ploy and so the subject was left hanging.

HIGH SCORES: The Geezer remarked on the proliferation of high scores over the last couple of weeks and the difficulty of making a few bob in such a competitive school. The Chair, with typical insight, concluded that the course was much shorter at the moment, therefore good scores were there for the taking.

QUAICH: The draw for the competition for the Quaich must be made next week. The Cardinal should now be in receipt of the names and the entrance fees of all prospective competitors and is respectfully requested to produce the list at the next meeting when the draw will be conducted by St. Rappe.

There being no other business, the meeting closed at 1.15pm.

BURT (Hon. Sec.)

PRESENT: D.F, T.M, F.B, P.F, P.L, B.H, J.G, C.M, T.H( left early), K.S, E.E.

APOLOGIES: D.G, Cardinal, Falcon, Biggles and El Mat.

RESULTS: No 2’s were posted. The DoD and DDoD were Brains on 28 points and Strap on anything between 13 and 29, since he only played 12 holes on account that he slept in. The Geezer was the runner up with 40 points. The winner and riding the crest of a wave like an Australian surfer was the affable Laird with a magnificent 42 points.

TOASTS: Rory McIlroy for winning the Dubai Open.

To the Magpies for victory over Hull.

To the linesman for spotting a handball which ruled out a goal for Hull.

To all the NE football league teams who won every game this week.

To Jethro who made an appearance this week and is looking forward to a return to playing in April.

FINANCES: Due to the absence of the Fin. Sec., the Chair agreed to hold on to today’s cash. The 2’s money totalled £2. There was £1.60 in swears. The Geezer’s cards realised a total of £2.40——— Chair(60p), Crocs(20p), Geezer(20p), Strap(40p), Rabbi(40p), Laird(20p), Brains(40p). The President congratulated the Geezer for his money making idea and confessed that he had donated £1 in swears which he had only thought but never actually uttered, when his trolley took off and narrowly missed an oncoming car in the car park, prior to the game. Soapy could give Kim Sears a run for her money any day of the week.

LAST WEEK’S MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED WITH THE  FOLLOWING AMENDMENTS:

The Straggler did not pay for Snooty’s entrance fee for the Quaich. Rain check should apparently have been rain cheque.

The Chair was censured by the President for physically assaulting the Secretary with his maul and causing actual bodily harm to the head region of the unfortunate Kwok. This action may have caused the Secretary to be vague in his recollection of subsequent events, unlike his razor sharp reporting of previous minutes.

MATTER’S ARISING: The Chair appealed for urgent action to complete arrangements for the Dalmahoy trip. The preferred date was considered to be the weekend of the 17 May with the 10 May as the fallback option. All participants are requested to email the ” Reply all” section on the menu, to alert fellow MOHGS as well as  the Social Sec. who will then collate the figures and make the necessary arrangements.

Soapy thanked all the MOHGS who had played at the Bridle Path on Friday. The course was judged to be good but the bacon sandwiches took the biscuit. Crocs was thanked for organising the event and he intimated that he was willing to organise another event if there was sufficient interest.

Geezers cards: It was decided that the person who has the HIGHEST score above 6 on a hole, should receive the card and not the LAST person who scores more than 6.

There was a gentle reminder that MOHGS sweaters or polo shirts should be worn on all away days on penalty of hefty fines.

Tee times for next week are as per.

There being no other business, the meeting closed at 1.25pm.

BURT E. KWOK(Hon. Sec.)

PRESENT: B.H, K.S, J.G, P.L, P.B, H.C, T.H, D.F, T.M, F.B, P.F.

RESULTS: 2 x 2’s posted by Mr.McKay and the Straggler who had a share of £2.20 and £1.40 carried forward from last week. DoD was Brains with 31 points. The DDoD was the Laird on 34 points. The Cardinal and the Geezer were joint runners up with 41 points. The winner and champine of the week was the indomitable Mr. McKay with a masterful  42 points.

The Straggler paid the entrance fee for the Lavender Hill Mob, namely Del, Des and Snoots, for the Chairman’s Quaich competition.

The Geezer’s cards realised a total of £2.40, whilst the swears total was £1.

APOLOGIES: Crocs, Jethro, El Mat and Biggles.

TOASTS: To the recently returned Laird, fresh from his trip down under and looking fit tanned and slightly rotund.

To the Cardinal in recognition of his victory in last week’s Senior’s competition.

LAST WEEK’S MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED AS A TRUE RECORD OF EVENTS.

MATTERS ARISING: The Chair rather shamefacedly apologised for missing last week’s game. He apparently peeked out of the window last week, saw a feeble shallow smattering of snow on his garden and leapt back into the warmth of his recently vacated bed. He was under the misguided impression that his fellow MOHGS would have come to the same conclusion.

AWAY DAYS: There are 8 MOHGS interested in the trip to Dalmahoy. Crocs has booked 2 tee times, 10.00 and 10.08 for Friday at the Bridle Path. Six people signified their interest in attending although the weather looks rather iffy and there may need to be a rain check. Soapy suggested that participants may want to purchase hand warmers. There was a rather sour note when the Treasurer categorically announced that there would be no subsidy in the current stringent economic climate. The Comp. Sec. gave his blessing to the competitors in deciding their own format for the game. Brains, Soapy, Straggler, Crocs, Laird and the Rabbi will contest the match.

SOAPY’S DAY: Brains asked for a date for Soapy’s Day. Soapy remarked that he would prefer to play on the Monday closest to his 81st. birthday on June 10th. He further stated that he was prepared to put money behind the bar for refreshments after the game although he would be unable to replicate the same generous amount as his previous contribution. This gesture was warmly received by the boys.

Today’s meeting was in danger of fragmenting on several occasions and the Chair experienced difficulty in trying to hold it together, although he strove manfully to do so but he’s no John Bercow. The Cardinal suggested that he should make greater use of his gavel. The Chair agreed that he was remiss in under use of the gavel and would strive to remember to bring it to future meetings.

Tee times for next week are as per usual, 8.48, 8.56 and 9.04.

The Falcon apologised for his absence next week.

There being no other business, the meeting closed at 1.10pm.

BURT E. KWOK( Hon. Sec.)

PRESENT: P.L, P.B, J.G, K.S, B.H, T.M, P.F.

The Chairman was absent therefore his seat was adequately filled by the resourceful Rabbi.

RESULTS: There were no 2’s therefore the £1.40 will be carried forward to next week. DoD was the Cardinal with 26 points. The Geezer was DDoD with 30 points. The runner up was Brains on 36 points. This weeks champine was the ever popular Comp. Sec. Mr. B.H with a tremendous 41 points in incredibly difficult conditions.

APOLOGIES: Laird, Jethro, Matador and Biggles.

FINANCES: £1.40 was collected from the Geezer’s cards. £2.60 in swears. The geezer overpaid and has 4 swears in credit.

LAST WEEK’S MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED AS A MORE ACCURATE RECORD THAN THE WEEK BEFORE.

MATTERS ARISING: The Cardinal reported that the restaurant formerly known as Saffron has risen from the ashes and will henceforth be known as Ephesus. He was unable to identify its ethnicity but was convinced that with that monicker it was likely to be Greek. There would have to be an advance party to ascertain its credentials before the real party. However Soapy continues to champion the Manzil and recommended the vindaloo to all serious aficionados.

The Cardinal discovered that the Marriott at Dalmahoy is offering 2 rounds of golf, dinner, bed and breakfast for £129 during the month of April. This rises by £7/ head during May. It was felt that May would be the better option weather wise. The Geezer has played the course but urged caution, since he found that after a couple of drinks, it was almost impossible to find his way back to the bedrooms because of the weird layout of the accommodation.

Carlisle and Selby courses were suggested by the Geezer although P.B said Carlisle was very wet when he last visited. P.L recommended Seaton Carew as an admirable links course.

The Rabbi has booked the tee times for next week: 8.48, 8.56 and 9.04.

There being no other business, the meeting closed at 12.55.

BURT E. KWOK ( Hon. Sec.)

PRESENT: P.F, T.M, P.B, F.B, P.L, C.M, K.S. D.Givens walked the course and St. Rappe attended the meeting but did not play. Conditions were extremely windy and intermittently wet which had a negative effect on the standard of play. C. M was heard to exclaim above the noise of the gale as we embarked on our adventure, “We’re lucky old gits.”

APOLS: Biggles, Brains, Laird and Falcon.

RESULTS: One two was posted by Kwok. DoD was the Straggler on 23 points. DDoD was Crocs  with 27 points. The runner up was Soapy with 31 points. The winner with 36 points in extreme conditions was the redoubtable Rabbi. The Chair is looking after Soapy’s winnings.

Last week’s minutes were disputed by several regulars and Kwok was forced to eat humble pie and apologise for several omissions and duff information, chiefly that the Senior’s captain is not the Chairman and that the swears cash amounted to £3.60. Swears cash this week, lest we forget is £1.60.

THE AMENDED MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED.

MATTERS ARISING: The cardinal announced that the Indian Restaurant known as Saffron, is no more, it is dead in the water, closed down, shut and no longer trading. If there were to be an exploratory advance party to certify the credentials of an Injun for gastronomic purposes it would have to be the Manzil.

TOASTS: To Andy Sullivan who won the South African Open.

Crocs announced that Vince’s mother had died on Sunday. The MOHGS were saddened by this news and send their sympathy to Vince and family.

BUSINESS OF THE DAY: The Chair revealed that the Hull v. Newcastle game is live on the telly on 31st. Jan and that he and the other member of the Executive may watch the game in the golf club. Other interested parties would be most welcome.

The Cardinal remarked that it would soon be necessary to bottom out the venues for away days and overnighters. Crocs revealed that the Bridle Path, did a deal on Fridays. Whitley Bay, Bellingham, Bedlington, Arcot and Garesfield were mentioned as possibilities. The Cardinal was also aware that Dalmahoy was offering a good deal.

The new golf club manager began work today. He is Matthew Bowman.

Tee off times next week are as usual, 8.48, 8.56 and 9.04.

There being no other business, the meeting closed at 1.20.

BURT E. KWOK ( Hon. Sec.)

PRESENT: P.L, K.S, P.B, C.M, B.H, F.B, P.F, J.G, H.C.

APOLS: J.G apologised for missing next week. Apols from E.E, Biggles, G.W and the Laird.

RESULTS: There was one 2 from Soapy on the 14th. Today’s game was played off club h/caps, since it was the first game of the New Year. DoD was St. Rappe with 28 points. The DDoD was the Falcon on 34 points. Runners up were the Cardinal and the Straggler with 38 points apiece. The champ for the day with 39 points was the ever popular Kwok.

THE MINUTES OF THE LAST MEETING WERE ACCEPTED AS A TRUE RECORD.

BUSINESS OF THE DAY: Soapy revealed that he had paid for swears that he had only thought about but not actually uttered. The gathering was impressed by his generosity of spirit and humbled by his openness and integrity.

The Chair was concerned by the lack of cash in the kitty and suggested that whole teams should be fined hefty amounts if they fail to ring the bells. The Cardinal would arbitrate in all disputes and set an appropriate fine. The Cardinal would like to grade the swears and charge extra for the biggies like f+++, c####, and k***, whilst words like b+++++ and b~ll~~~s! would receive a mild caution and a lesser fine. The Cardinal will no doubt draw up a list of offending words with the appropriate tariff for each cuss. The Cardinal himself was taken to task for omitting to distribute the Geezers cards. A vexed Cardinal responded with a tirade of abuse and then with good humour paid the price for his outburst into the swear box.

Little Burt E Kwok, asked for a stationery allowance, since he had been forced to go into his own pocket for a new minutes book. He was savaged by the Chair and the Cardinal who accused Little Burt of being parsimonious and told that if he wanted to keep his job he should button his lip and pay the stationery bill.

CHAIRS QUAICH: An entrance fee of £2/person is required for admittance to the competition, payable to the Cardinal.

TOASTS: To the Cardinal on his elevation to the Chairmanship of the Seniors.

GEEZER’S CARDS will be operative next week.

CHRISTMAS PARTY: The Chairman opened the autopsy by declaring that he felt that the atmosphere this year, lacked the zing and sparkle of previous festive get togethers. Reasons why, may have included the fact that the Cardinal and Crocs had other fish to fry, there was no dart board and we started the snooker too early. Most people appeared to enjoy the food. However it was proposed by the Chair, that an injun in the toon might be a more satisfying format and that it should be given more thought. The President suggested a trial run to check out the cuisine and St. Rappe cautioned that we wait until the clocks go back before embarking on the culinary adventure. This was agreed upon and will be discussed at a later date.

AWAY DAYS: The Cardinal thought it was not necessary to purchase County Cards as there were good deals to be had. Eyemouth and North Berwick, Whitley Bay and St. Andrews were all mooted as possible venues, whilst the Chair with a glint in his eye exclaimed that he would like to take Soapy along the Bridle Path. Was Hunley still on the list since we have had pretty poor weather on previous visits? It was agreed that another meeting was required to bottom out away days and possibly a steering committee to recommend venues.

There being no other business, the meeting closed at 1.10pm.

Tee times next week are 8.48, 8.56 and 9.04.

Burt E Kwok ( Hon. Sec.)

Attendees: FB, KS, PL, GW, CM, HK and JG.

Apologies: All none attendees.

Minutes: None.

Toasts: Very best wishes to all in attendance, non attendees and absent friends.

Results: D of the Day PL (24 pts), DD FB (26 pts), SP KS (46 pts),  W JG (48 pts). Others CM (36 pts), HC (30 pts), GW (38 pts).

Swears: None recorded.

Tee times for 5/1/15: ?

Reminder: The next Comp will be on the 1st Monday of the month !!! You will tee off 2015 with your current club handicap?

PRESENT: P.L, AL, J.G, R.H, G.W.

APOLOGIES: Falcon, Laird, Cardinal, Geezer, Straggler and Jethro (who did attend the Christmas party).

RESULTS: No twos posted therefore £1.00 carried forward in the safe hands of Jocks. DoD was el Matador with 30  points. DDoD was Brains with 31 points.

Runner up was The Rabbi with 35 points and the winner was Biggles with a splendid score of 39 points.  Congratulations to the Layton family. Handicaps for the above will be adjusted in time honoured fashion.

TOASTS: Sunderland F.C. For their victory in the Tyne\Wear Derby and all the fans attending St James Park for their exemplary behaviour and respect for the sadly departed John & Liam.

LAST WEEKS MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED AS A TRUE RECORD.

BUSINESS OF THE DAY: The Straggler arrived apres golf looking somewhat bedraggled following high jinks yesterday presumably at St James Park with Desmond who he had just delivered to the railway station. He also stated that Desmond had e-mailed at least to another surprising absentee, Kwok, sending his apologies for today’s sortie and left soon after with his tail between his legs.

It was proposed and unanimously agreed that today’s attendees should in the future be known as “Real Mohgs” which will have equal standing to the executive.

The Rabbi will book the tee for next Monday at the usual times commencing at 8.48 am. Jocks,The Straggler and Biggles tendered their tentative apologies as they may well be residing in distant parts.

Jocks confirmed that from 1st January 2015 Mohgs handicaps will revert to club official handicap and requested that each member informs the Comp. Sec. Of their individual handicap on that date.

There being no further business the meeting was closed at about 13.15 pm

Jock St. Rappe

Executive Director of Competitions & Handicaps