PRESENT: C.M, D.F, P.F, C.D, F.B, J.G, M.M, A.L, P.L, J.G, K.S, G.A, T.M, B.D, M.S.

RESULTS: Today’s game was a Texas Scramble. Results were delivered by the hirsute and ever enthusiastic Laird, who was congratulated for his choice of competition. There were 2 x 2’s posted by Dewy, Crocs & Laird and Shagpile, Monty & the Rabbi. There were only 3.4 shots separating first and last place, therefore competition was rife. The DoD’s were Shagpile, Monty & the Rabbi with a paltry 69.7 points. DD’soD were Wellen, the Geezer & Herbie with 68.9 points. Runners up with 68.5 points were Winscales, Soapy & Biggles. This week’s Champines with a massive 66.3 points were the popular trio of Dewy, Crocs & the Laird. The winners will be pulled by one shot apiece, whilst the duffers gain an extra shot apiece.

TOASTS: To the President, who has been absent for a while but has returned to the fold looking lean and fit.

To Biggles, who has also been absent on manoeuvres and returned with the beginnings of a handlebar moustache and a Peaky Blinder haircut.

To Crocs who benefited to the tune of £140 after a punt on Marty Longstaff scoring the winning goal against Man U.

LAST WEEKS MINUTES ACCEPTED IN THEIR ENTIRETY.

MATTERS ARISING:
The Laird and Crocs had a showdown at the OK corral with the club manager in order to discuss the booking of tee times over the coming months. They reported that the whole situation was really a storm in a teacup which has been blown into hurricane proportions by Chinese whispers. In order to clarify the point it was inferred that there’s many a slip twixt cup and lip and necessity is the mother of invention, therefore after many fruitful hours of hardball negotiations, in essence, very little has changed. There will be a block booking of 4 tee times from 8.40-9.04 over the winter months, with the exception of Dec & Jan when the tee times will be 8.48-9.12. At the end of the season, the situation will be revisited and negotiations will recommence.
The Laird and Crocs were thanked for their diligence and doggedness in bringing the situation to a satisfactory conclusion.
BUSINESS:
* Crocs has pouched the swears for safekeeping. (£1).
* The Christmas party was broached by the Chair who was concerned that the table tennis event, in his considerable estimation, took up too much time at the expense of many of the other planned festivities.
* The Geezer proposed that we use the excess funds at our disposal, to hire the Swing Room for a driving competition. The Chair urged caution until the keeper of the cash was available to authorise such a drastic transaction. Brains was also wary that we may be jumping from the frying pan into the fire re the aforementioned table tennis and the fracturing caused. The whole event obviously is in need of overhaul and sensitive deliberation.
* Herbie asked for clarification of the date of the Christmas Party and was informed that the event would be held on Mon 9 December.
* The Rabbi was concerned that at present he is the only person available to enter names for Wednesday’s competitions and is experiencing severe criticism from other club members due to the number of names he is submitting. He revealed that it may not be possible to continue to submit as many names in the future without additional help.

There being no other business, the meeting concluded amicably at 1.25.

Burt Kwok.

PRESENT: P.L, D.F, P.B, M.S, T.M, B.D, A.B-W, M.M, D.G-M, J.G, G.A, P.F, F.B, C.M, M.C.

RESULTS: There was only one 2, posted by Monty on the 17th. He received a fistful of cash which included rollovers. Today’s Comp was threesomes where the best two scores on each hole were counted. D’soD were Bumpers, Kwok and Winscales with a derisory 61 points. They will each receive a one shot lift. DD’soD were the Rabbi, Laird and Crocs with 69 points. Runners up were Shagpile, 2Beers and Shotgun with 72 points. The worthy winners with an immense 74 points were the Geezer, Wellen and Herbie. Each will be pulled by one shot. Brains is on a well deserved holiday and is obviously exempt from MOHGS duties, therefore those members who have been pulled or gained extra shots will not be notified until he is officially back to modify the table.

The Laird, graciously handed over the previous week’s winnings to Kwok and Bumpers.

TOASTS: Both David Grosch-Miller and Alan Beaumont-Whigham warmly commended Dina Asher-Smith who was narrowly pipped at the post by Shelly-Ann Frazier-Price at the IAAF meeting in Doha and thus became the first British woman to medal in an international-sprint.

TOASTS:

To Shotgun who was a member of the winning team in the recent Autumn Leaves Comp. The Laird was a member of the team which was runner up.

To the Geezer, who recently became a G/dad to new born baby Jack. The Geezer referred to the new born as ‘ wor Jack, ‘ and was gently teased by Herbie for incorrect use of the vernacular. This resulted in a howl of protests from the indigenous members who applauded the erstwhile cockney for his choice of language.

LAST WEEKS MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED IN THEIR ENTIRETY.

MATTERS ARISING: The Chair was back in his rightful spot at the head of the table, looking sharp and fit after his trip down the Swannee River. He began proceedings by requesting that all members continue to be flexible, adaptable and light on their feet like ‘ dancing queens.’ He was also perplexed about the fact that the meeting last week had voted that in future two two balls should replace a final 4 ball in order to speed up the game. However he agreed that we must sail with the wind, continue to evolve and be mindful of prevailing conditions when making judgments.

BUSINESS:

*Bumpers questioned the Comp. Sec about today’s competition and why the format had been changed at the last minute. He was referred back to the Chairs opening statement about flexibility. The late arrival of one member had necessitated changes to be made quickly and the Comp. Sec. was forced to make decisions on the hoof.

*The Chair reminded all participants to arrive promptly at 8.15 for the draw at 8.30. He then proposed a toast to the beleaguered tosser who continues unfailingly to fulfil a thankless task in often trying circumstances.

*The Honourable Member for Toxteth reported that he was made aware of grumblings from dissatisfied club members about the block booking by MOHGS on Monday mornings. The GC manager had been approached by the aforementioned malcontents and rumour has it that he is considering the cancellation of the of the block booking in the near future.

FINANCE: The Chancellor, accompanied by his burgeoning box of cash, issued his Autumn Statement. He announced that due to fewer away days and no weekend retreats, his box was now overflowing and he was considering employing Securicor to accompany him to meetings to ensure the integrity of the box. The total at his disposal has now reached the dizzy heights of £320. The members were stunned into silence by this fiscal revelation. Crocs was first off the mark to thank the Hon. Fin. Sec. for his stringent stewardship of the cash as well as his continued diligence and professionalism.

# Shagpile revealed that he will attend Foxton GC this week and attempt to negotiate a good deal for an overnighter. A straw poll revealed that many MOHGS would be interested.

# The Laird, Herbie, the Chair and the Cardinal offered their apologies for absence next Monday.

The meeting was brought to a satisfactory conclusion at 1.20pm.

Burt Kwok.

Apologies from all those not here.

Present:- PF(left early), MC(left early), RY(left early), PB, GA, PL, LW, ABW, JG, DF, CM, TM, MM,

The Rabbi assumed the Chair in the absence of the Chair who it was thought was at some inconvenience with Thomas Cook!

The Scribe did a runner and left the FD with the task of recording events.

Competition Results;

No twos today, £2.60 in the hands of the FD for next week.

Duffer of the Day was Shagpile with 22 points.

Deputy Duffer was The Geezer with 25 points, who was none too happy with Shaggers because he had hoped for a lift of 2 shots.

Runners up with 33 points were Winscale and Bumpers who get £2 each.

However the morning’s winner was Kwock, who was not there to receive the accolades or the £9 winnings. Safely pouched by The Laird as was Bumpers winnings. He claims that they will be paid out when next seen!

Handicaps will be adjusted accordingly.

Swears gleaned £4.30 and Geezers Cards £3.60.

Last weeks minutes were agreed. There had been however an exchange of e-mails over the Comp. Secs. playful interpretation of handicap adjustments. Hobson’s Chippy had sent an e-mail thanking MOHGS for their hospitality.

Toasts

Last week Solhiem Cup Team, England Cricket Team, Ben Stokes.

This week Danny Willets and some scientist who has discovered the obesity gene while working in Greggs!!

Johnnie is looking for short clubs, it was unclear if he has shrunk or he required them for a shorter member of his family. Anyone who can help bring the said clubs next week.

The Geezer proposed, seconded by Winscale, that in future for singles competitions the groupings should be threes and twos no fourballs should be played. The teller noted four votes for the proposal and two against. The Competition Cabal viewed this as a good suggestion but immediately demanded another vote because the result was not to their satisfaction. It was suggested by Brains that the decision should be deferred until 31 October!!! Remind anyone of anything.

The meeting then sank into despair and closed at 1.20pm

PRESENT: B.D, F.B, C.M, P.F, J.G, P.L, P.B, D.F, A.B-W, M.S, D.G-M, M.M, T.H, L.W.

Today’s game was a 4 BBB competition v Hobson GC.

RESULTS: The game was an overwhelming success, with victory for the first time going the way of the MOHGS. The team with the highest points haul was the Rabbi and Kwok with a mighty 47 points. The Straggler and Cardinal were second. The winners will be pulled by 2 shots apiece.

The Laird thanked all competitors for their attendance, sportsmanship and good humour. The Hobson captain replied on behalf of the visitors and remarked upon the good condition of the course before extending an invitation for a return march. The Chairman thanked all participants and commended the Laird and the Hobson captain for their joint organisation of a very successful day.

Burt Kwok.

PRESENT: P.F, A.B-W, P.L, J.G, G.W, L.W, C.D, M.C.

APOLOGIES: From all not present.

RESULTS: Today’s game was a four ball better ball. Only one 2 recorded by the Rabbi on the 8th, scoops the whole pot of £1.60.

DoD’s were the aforementioned Rabbi and El Mat with 34 points, who will receive one shot apiece. Runners up were Brains and Dewey with 41 points. The winners and today’s champs with 42 points were Kwok and Shotgun who will each be pulled by one shot.

TOASTS: To Nick Mason, the former drummer of Pink Floyd who used his considerable fortune to save Bolton Wanderers from departing the Football league. Johnny Walker with his astute knowledge of the rock scene also added that the aforementioned had made a pile of cash from various business ventures associated with his virtuoso drumming.

LAST WEEKS MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED IN THEIR ENTIRETY.
BUSINESS:

* The Rabbi who chaired today’s meeting, recommended that all participants attend next week’s game at Beamish, no later than 9am. This will enable the organisers to complete the pre match preparations and the competitors to imbibe their breakfasts of choice. He expected the first tee off time to be at about 10.15.
* The match v Hobsons is to be held at Morpeth with an expected first tee off at 10.15.
* The members were informed that Herby is still pondering on a venue for an away day in October.

There being no further business, the meeting closed amicably at 12.40.

Burt Kwok.

In Attendance: CM;JBG;FB;KS;MS;DF;GW;DGM;MM;TH;JG;ABW

Competition Results: The Scuttler and El Matador both had a 2 and walked away with the princely sum of £1.30 each!!

DD was our esteemed President aka Soapy with 22 points. He receives an extra two shots.

DDD was Monty with 28 points, A rare experience for him and he now has an extra shot to add to his armoury.

Runner up with 36 points was our favourite Essex Man,Herbie. he drops a shot.

Winner on the day with 37 points was Shotgun and well deserved too I would say!!! He drops two shots. About time I hear you cry!

Toasts

The Chairman proposed a toast to The Laird and Lairdess on the occasion  their 50th Wedding Anniversary. a rousing cheer ensued.

A glass was also raised in thank you to those who forsake their morning lie in every Wednesday to ensure times are booked for the following week.

Minutes of the last meeting:

As the course was close there were no minutes taken.

Contributions:

Geezer cards £3.40

Swears £4.30 (Crocs said he had some previous monies but could not remember the amount)

Any other business:

Two teams have been entered for the Texas Scramble on 26th August. It is a shotgun start at 9.30 and Hole numbers are as follows:

Shotgun,Soapy,2 Beers and El Matador Hole 8

The Rabbi,Crocs,The Laird and The Scuttler Hole 12

The Laird has paid the entry fee of £10.00 per team so please make sure you recompense him asap or suffer the consequences!!!!!!!!!!

The Chairman expressed concern that we were becoming victims of our largesse and perhaps we should hold back with further invitations to join for the foreseeable future. This was agreed unanimously.

Mohgs vs Hobson 16th September.

The Laird said he had 13 definites and 3 possibles. Anyone else who is interested and has not yet contacted him should do so as a matter of urgency.

He would also like to know who would like coffee and a bacon sarnie (£4.00) asap

tee times are from 10.16 to 11.12

Beamish visit 9th September

A tee time has been booked at Morpeth if any Mohg not travelling would like to have a round that day.

Shagpile said there was a charity day at Blyth G.C. on Wednesday 4th September. Cost £25.00 which includes a round, coffee and bacon sarnie and a meal afterwards. Anyone interested should contact him.

The Chairman raised the question of overnighters which seemed to have died a death. Herbie and Shotgun suggested Foxton as a venue. Agreed Herbie would investigate and report back.

There being no further business the meeting, which had been extremely amicable, closed at 13.05

DOD – Kwok + 2
DDOD – Windscale + 1
R Up – Dewy -1
W – Monty -2

1 2 at the 17th – Monty

£3.70 Swears + Jumper fines in Crocs locker.

Course unavailable on Bank Holiday Monday 26th August – MGC Captain charity event.

PRESENT: P.F, T.H, T.M, C.M, P.L, M.M, P.B, B.D, M.S, C.D, B.H, D.G-M, D.F, G.A,

There was an extremely warm atmosphere as always at the NEWBIGGIN course led by the affable and competent master of ceremonies, Shagpile. With bacon butties and coffee at the ready, he outlined the day’s event, a singles Comp played off club h/caps in two groups of 3 and two groups of 4.

The scene was set for a cordial game with a butterfly display thrown in to boot. The weather was fine which was a first for NEWBIGGIN, in that there was absolutely no wind and none of the dreaded rain which has plagued us in the past. It was also worth noting that there was a welcome re-appearance from the elusive Jock Strap who is fighting fit and enthusiastic as ever.

RESULTS: As the game was played off club h/caps, the results had no bearing on MOHGS rankings. There were 2 worthy winners, each with a stupendous 39 points, the Rabbi and Crocs. The runner up with 36 points and a share of the pot was the eagle eyed and indefatigable Scuttler. Only one 2 was posted by the joint-winner, Crocs.

The results were announced by Shagpile who was graciously thanked for organising the event on behalf of the group by the punctilious Laird.

Burt E. Kwok.

Apologies from all those not here.

Present:- PB, CD, FB, PL, LW, ABW, JG, GW(left early), KS, DF, DGM, MS(left early), CM, TM, MM, TH, BD,

Competition Results;

Played by seventeen hardy MOHGS for the Championship Trophy. Conditions were challenging with a very strong south westerly gale, despite this, scoring for many was acceptable.

Three twos today, two for the Laird at the fourth and eighth, and for Two Beers at the fourth. The pot of £3.40 was shared accordingly.

Duffer of the Day was Wellen with 22 miserly points, it was suggested that he was trying to improve his chances of winning the Championship until he realised it was today!

Deputy Duffer was El Matador with 24 points

Runners up with 35 points was Dewey and Two Beers who received £3.50 each

However the Champion Golfer of the year was The Laird with 38 points and another £10 to the coffers. Kerching indeed!

Handicaps will be adjusted accordingly.

Swears gleaned £3.60 from last week and £7.80 today, a reflection of the unhelpful weather conditions I suspect.

Toasts

Shane Lowry for becoming the Open Champion yesterday at Royal Portrush.

Previous minutes were agreed.

Matters Arising

The Chairman advised that MOHGS have a website, MOHGS.com which is a source of useful information and kept up to date by Lord Snooty.

The Laird is arranging a return match against Hobson at Morpeth, suggested dates are 16 or 23 September. Please let the Laird know your availability.

Thanks to Shagpile for hosting last Monday’s game and drinks. The Chairman was a little shamefaced at not toasting the American guests last Monday. However he overcame that with his usual aplomb.

Next Monday the course will be closed to us, various options were suggested but Shagpile was on the ball and the phone to arrange a game at Newbiggin. Bacon sarnie at 8.45 am (Dickhead Geezer) and first tee at 9.30am, all for an amazing price of £13. Ten MOHGS present would attend, any more please let Shagpile know asap.

AOB

Crocs was concerned about all the MOHGS Trophies and suggested an audit of whereabouts. Brains settled the issue with his usual fortitude and advised that only one remained to be contested, that being the Christmas Trophy.

Mention of Christmas immediately turned The Cardinal’s thoughts to a MOHGS Party. The Chair raised the spectre of a game of golf, a few drinks in the clubhouse and a curry in Morpeth. What would Marley make of that idea again?

Meeting closed at 1.30pm

Today’s game was ostensibly to celebrate the birthday of Shagpile who had kindly placed a tidy sum of cash behind the bar as well as provide a substantial trophy for the eventual winner. The participants were not only MOHGS, but also an assortment of his friends from both here and abroad–mainly America. The game was played off club h/caps, therefore the result had no bearing on the MOHGS rankings.

RESULTS: The competition was won by D.Segal with 42 points. B.Kwok was second with 39 points. There were four 2’s posted by Kwok, Scuttler, Dick and Harry. Shagpile presented the prizes, £11 for first place and £10 for second with £1.50 for each of the 2’s. Crocs collected £5.90 in swears. Shagpile then awarded the trophy to the worthy winner and invited everyone to help themselves to drinks from the bar.

The President offered thanks to Shagpile and led the group in a rousing rendition of Happy Birthday to You. He then proposed a toast to the victorious England cricket team after their amazing exploits in winning the World Cup.

Shotgun proposed a toast to the US contingent and thanked them for their participation in today’s event.

The meeting closed in good spirits at 1.45.

B.Kwok.