In Attendance: CM JBG ABW FB KS DF MM RH TM PL AL GA DGM JG

In recognition of the significant birthday of the Hon.  President (Soapy) The Chairman was persuaded to propose a special toast to Soapy which he did with his usual aplomb. It was greeted with much cheering and applause.

Results:

DoD was Soapy with 19 points (perhaps understandably given the magnitude of the day). His handicap will go up by 2.

DDoD was our beloved migrant Jockstrap with 20 points. handicap to go up by 1 point.

In second place was the Geezer with a very credible 37 points. He won £4.00 and his handicap is to be pulled by one shot.

The Winner was the ever popular and jocular Croc with a splendid 39 points. He took away £10.00 but more importantly the honour of holding the Soapy dish Trophy for the next 12 months. Handicap to be pulled by 2 shots.

Toasts:

The Chairman proposed a very special toast to Winker Watson who has indicated he is to give up golf for health reasons. As the Chair said however, once a Mohg always a Mohg. Winker will always be welcome in our company and we wish him well for the future.

Rory Mcilroy for winning the Canadian Open

A toast to Her Maj on her official birthday.

Biggles for proposing said toast.

Two Beers for stepping in, and doing so well, as Captain for the match against the Dirty Dozen.

Chris Minto for organising the visit to City for Mohgs on the Seniors Invitation Day.

Minutes of last meeting were accepted

Matters Arising:

The President referred to the proposed trip to St. Boswells on Friday 14th June. Due to the dire weather forecast and the Chair’s other golf commitments it has been postponed.

Jockstrap said that, on behalf of the Dirty Dozen, he wished to thank us for a thoroughly enjoyable day. A  return match at Beamish is proposed for 9th September. The Chair suggested that,in order to ensure there were sufficient numbers on both sides there should be some flexibility as to who played for who.This was agreed by all present.

Shagpile raised the trip to Bedlington and is to investigate dates. Brains suggested that, as there is a comp. on 29th July and so no tee times available for us, we consider that date. Shagpile is to see if that date is possible.

The Chair mentioned the question of County Cards,as previously raised by Herbie, and suggested that anyone who wished to get one should do so. He did, however, raise a doubt about being able to block book using the cards. A degree of ingenuity may be required. Answers on a postcard please!

Meeting officially closed at 1.30.

Post meeting:

President pointed out that he had said entertainment was to be provided to celebrate his birthday. He apologised to the Geezer for the lack of Nubile Dancers and proceeded to introduce a quiz worthy of Mensa. Attempts to answer were brave if not noteworthy!

Shagpile offered thanks to Soapy for an excellent 45 minutes of drink and good cheer. A sentiment that was echoed by all.

The game was organised by Crocs because Morpeth GC was hosting an invitation day.

PRESENT: B.Y, L.W, D.G-M, T.M, D.F, M.S, C.M, F.B, G.A, P.F, J.G(l/e).

RESULTS: Delivered by the Laird who it appears is back to his fighting best after a short period of recuperation following the operation to allow him to collect his winnings more efficiently. He opened by remarking that the weather had been very kind and the course was in good condition. There were no 2’s so the cash was added to the pot. DoD was the unfortunate Brains with 19 points. Winscales was DDoD with a slightly better haul of 26 points. The runner up was Kwok with 34 points. The winner with a mighty 35 points was the aforementioned Laird who nimbly pocketed the cash (kerching), before stressing that today’s game was a one off and the winners would not be pulled, neither would the losers gain shots.

Herbie proposed a vote of thanks to Crocs for organising the event, which was wholeheartedly endorsed by the group.

TOASTS: To 2Beers for standing in at short notice and captaining the MOHGS to their heroic victory over the DD.

To the Geezer who won Saturday’s competition.

BUSINESS: Herbie proposed that all MOHGS should purchase a County Card since the benefits of playing at different courses far outweighed the initial on-cost. There followed a debate on whether or not the expense was justified but no conclusion was reached. This debate has legs and may run for some time.

The Geezer proposed that the MOHGS should all join a ‘What’s App.’ He then proceeded to explain the benefits of such a device for group discussions and deliberations. Head scratching became the order of the day as the technophobes battered the Luddites with a plethora of information. The Chair capitulated in the face of defeat and began to come to terms with the fact that his phone is smarter than he is. The Geezer continued his argument and finished by saying that a County Card plus a What’s App could open up a whole new horizon for the MOHGS. The debate continues.
L.W, P.F, and B.Y apologised in advance for their absence on Monday for Soapy’s Day.

There being no further business, the meeting closed amiably at 3pm.

Burt E. Kwok

THE MOHGS v THE DIRTY DOZEN.

The day was windy but warm as the contestants gathered for bacon sandwiches in the clubhouse. The Dirty Dozen arrived promptly for the start of play and 2 Beers announced the format of the competition, which was a Four Ball Better Ball matchplay which also included a Stableford element. 2 Beers wished all competitors good luck and the battle commenced in pre-arranged groups.

RESULTS: Jock St.Rappe in his old familiar role of Comp. Sec., compiled the results which were delivered by Captain for the day, 2 Beers. He opened his remarks by saying that golf was a series of tragedies punctuated by the occasional miracle. He thanked the Beamish boys for their sportsmanship and looked forward to the return match. The MOHGS won the contest by a score of 5-1. There was a tie for the overall betterball winners between the pairing of Kwok and Wellend and the duo of the Cardinal and the Geezer with 42 points apiece. The DD winners were Sean(?) and Ian Bailey. The MOHGS runners up were Winscales and Monty.

Jock Strap replied on behalf of the DD and began by thanking 2 Beers for organising the day in impeccable style. He remarked that it had been a hugely enjoyable day although the result was underwhelming. He looked forward to the return match which he hoped would be sometime in September to which all were warmly invited. Information will be revealed in due course.

BURT E. KWOK.

Apologies from all those not here.

Present:- JG, PL, PB, CM, DGM, TH, GA, LW, TM, Monty, KS (7 Holes and had to leave)

The Rabbi stepped into the breach again to chair the meeting from an elevated position (a bar stool).

Competition Results;

One two at the 14^th by Brains. £2 in the kitty.

Duffer of the Day was Brains with 25 points

Deputy Duffer was Winscale with 27 points.

Runner up was Two Beers with 37 points.

However, the joint champions of the week were Rabbi and The Cardinal with 39 points.

Handicaps will be adjusted accordingly.

Toasts

Crocs for his 30^th wedding anniversary

The Cardinal for upholding the prestige of the MOHGS by being a member of the winning team in the Darling Buds of May comp. last Monday.

Swears raised £2.60 but Geezers Cards were not in operation.

Previous minutes were agreed after amendment from the Scribe by e-mail.

Matters Arising

Beamish dirty Dozen fixture, Two Beers advised that bacon butties would be served at 9.15am on 3 June (for those who had ordered them) with tee time at 10am.

CM will be booking 3 tee times at the City for around 10.30 0n 5 June.

Meeting closed at 12.55.

PRESENT: T.H, P.L, A.B-W, M.S, P.F, D.G-M, B.D, L.W, P.B, T.M, C.M, M.C, J.G, C.C, B.Y, K.S. D.F(n/p).

Sixteen members turned up for the competition, therefore the game was played in groups of 4 with the best two scores counting.

The Geezer agreed to Chair the meeting and Shotgun was persuaded to reveal the results. It was good to see the Laird in a non official capacity, attend the meeting after undergoing surgery on his hand last week

RESULTS: Only one 2 carded by Monty on the 14th. The D’soD with a paltry 80 points were the Cardinal, the Rabbi, Herbie and the President. Today’s champs were Ming, Kwok, the Prof and 2Beer, each of whom will be deducted one shot.

FINANCE: £5.10 in swears and £3.40 in Geezers cards.

TOASTS: To 2Beers who became a grandfather to baby Florence Rose.

To the victorious England cricket team.

LAST WEEKS MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED IN THEIR ENTIRETY.

MATTERS ARISING:
Herbie announced that the pairings for the Dirty Dozen game will be revealed shortly. The participants were asked to muster at 9.15 on 3 June. Bacon sarnies can be preordered by contacting 2Beers.

BUSINESS:
*The President was keen to announce that this year’s Soapy day will be on 10 June. He will place £85 behind the bar for drinks and revealed that entertainment will also be provided. The competition for Soapy’s Dish will be played for with only 4 clubs and a putter.
*The President further announced that the outing to St. Boswells golf course on the banks of the mighty Tweed will be on 14 June. The entire Executive will be present but other members, even those without portfolio are warmly invited to attend. The course is only 9 holes, to be played twice. Food may be available depending on the number of members who attend.
*Crocs agreed to arrange a game at the City G.C on June 3 since Morpeth G.C is host to the Seniors Open. Those who wish to attend are urged to contact Crocs asap.
*The Geezer proposed that in future it should be possible to pledge £1 at the beginning of a round on Mondays and then swear with impunity and gay abandon throughout the round. The proposal was passed unanimously and will no doubt help to swell the coffers.
There being no further business, the meeting closed in good spirits at 12.57.
Kwok.

PRESENT: F.B, D.F G.A, J.G, P.F, B.Y(l/e), G.W(l/e), J.G(Monty), M.C, P.B, K.S, P.L(l/e), A.B-W, L.W, C.M.

RESULTS: Delivered eloquently by the Laird, who in his preamble remarked that the good weather and course conditions had set the scene for a closely fought contest. There was one 2 carded by Monty on the 4th. He collected a total of £4.60 including the   leftover from last week. DoD was the unfortunate Brains with 26 points. DDoD was the Rabbi with a slightly better 27 points. Runner up was the Laird with 38 points(kerching). The overall winner and champine of the week was newest member of the MOHGS fraternity, Monty with a very solid 39 points. He may need to reinforce his pockets if he continues to play with such authority.

FINANCE: £4.40 in Geezers cards and £2.70 in swears. The swears was short by 10p due to the fact that the Chair, who it is well known, carries loads of cash, refused to pay his rightful dues, after a foul mouthed assault on poor innocent Burty Kwok.

TOASTS: Best wishes were extended to the Laird who enters hospital tomorrow for an operation on his hand.

To the Magpies for ending the season on a high after the 4-0 thrashing of Fulham.

THE MINUTES OF THE LAST MEETING WERE ACCEPTED IN THEIR ENTIRETY.

MATTERS ARISING:

Kwok revealed that he was available, if selected for the match v the Dirty Dozen.

BUSINESS:
Winscale noted that the course is closed on 9 June for a County event. Courtesy courses have been nominated by the club for members who might wish to play away.

The Seniors Open will be held at Magdalene Fields Berwick on 7 August at a cost of £7/ head.

The Laird revealed that he will have time on his hand(and stitches), so will attempt to collate eclectic scores only for those who wish to partake. Please contact the Laird asap if you wish to be involved.

The Chair will be absent for the next 2 weeks, soaking up the sun in Majorca with Mrs. B.

Brains apologised for his absence next week.

There being no further business, the meeting closed amicably at 1pm.

Burt Kwok.

Apologies from all those not here.

Present:- RY, JG, PL, PB, BD, DGM, GW, CM

The Rabbi stepped into the breach again to chair the meeting with his usual aplomb.

Competition Results;

No twos posted so £1.60 roll over to next week.

Four ball better ball competition today off yellow tees.

Duffers of the Day with 37 points were Prof and Crocs.

Winners were Wellen and El Mat together with Brains and The Cardinal with 43 points who all pouched £2. Kerching!!

Handicaps will be adjusted as appropriate.

No swears box and no Geezers Cards insufficient participants

Toasts

None (this is getting even more boring)

Previous minutes were agreed as a correct record.

Matters Arising

Beamish dirty Dozen fixture was addressed by the more than capable stand in skipper Two Beers. It has been agreed that it will be played at Morpeth on 3 June. At the moment we have 11 competitors and would like another to enter the fray. So far Winscale, Monty, Two Beers, The Chair, Shotgun, Wellen, Crocs, Rabbi, The Geezer, Prof, The Cardinal have put their caps in the ring anyone else please let Two Beers know asap.

Tee booked for 10am, Two Beers to check out bacon butties prior to play. There will be the usual matchplay against Beamish together with a stableford singles comp. Club hadicaps will be in force that day. Sweep to be £2 per player.

AOB

The Scuttler has a pair entered for Wickham Seniors Open on Saturday 1 June at 10.40am. He is looking for a partner as The Rabbi is unavailable, anyone who can help out please ring him on 07740868034.

The Cardinal won a fourball at Blyth golf club and was willing to organise a day out to Blyth for the MOHGS to include the free 4 ball. Two Beers also has a two for one at the same course so could be a cheap day out.

The Cardinal has not yet investigated Craigielaw.

Meeting closed at 12.39

Apologies from all those not here.

Present:- MC (Golf only), MS, DF,RY,JG, BD, PB, KS, DGM, LW, TM, CM, JG (the second), PL, MM (meeting only)

The Rabbi stepped into the breach when persuaded to chair the meeting which he did with fortitude.

Competition Results;

One two posted by the new Jim Grey, he must think this is easy money, he pouched £2.80. Roll over from two weeks ago of £3 was passed to Shagpile by the FD.

Duffer of the Day with 24 points was Two Beers, Deputy Duffer was Soapy with 26 points.

Runner up was The Geezer with 37 points, who pocketed £4.

This week’s winners were Wellens and The Cardinal with 38 points and £5 each.

Handicaps will be adjusted as appropriate.

Swears box netted £4.40 and scarily Geezers Cards netted £4.40 also!!

Toasts

None (this is getting boring)

Previous minutes were agreed as a correct record.

Matters Arising

The rejection of two divisions for competition results was implemented by the Competition Doyens. Status Quo was mentioned several times but it was unclear if that referred to the Latin term or the musical combo!

AOB

Shagpile announced the tee times for Friday at Newbiggin

10.10 ABW, DGM, TH, PB

10.20 DF, RY, JG, LW

Players were reminded that it is a singles competition, players to pay £10 at the pro’s shop for entry. Shagpile will organise bacon butties at 9.30am for the three who indicated such requirement. The Laird, Two Beers and The Cardinal.

Please note JG (the first) e-mail address is that with sky included.

The remote Beatons e-mail spat with Brains was highlighted. Lord Snooty was early into the fray with an ‘Ouch’ quickly followed by Dell Boy with a ‘Double Ouch’. Both were somewhat in error as neither had provided their club handicap to the Competition Gurus. It was also recognised that Tutu had not entered the family e-mail trail!

Wellen introduced a new MOHG, Jim Grey who provided a nickname of Monty. He claimed it was because he had a reputation for being as miserable as Colin Montgomery. Surely that is not possible. If it is, he will fit in very well with MOHGS.

Herbie announced that the Dirty Dozen match would take place on 3 June with 10 players from MOHGS including Monty. Herbie would be unable to skip that day but Two Beers stepped (or was pushed) into the breech.

The Cardinal was charged with trying to fix up an away night at Craigielaw.

Meeting closed spot on at 1pm, thanks to the erudite chairmanship of The Rabbi.

Apologies from all those not here.

Present:- GW,DGM, GA,PB, BD, CD (left before meeting)

A somewhat small but select group of MOHGs attended this Easter extravaganza, others were engaged in representing the Seniors Team and others playing their Calcutta Doubles semi-final (which they lost by the way)

Shagpile chaired the meeting admirably

Competition Results;

One two posted by Shaggers on the 8^th, he pocketed £1.20 with 20p owed by Dewey. Roll over from last week of £3 should also come his way, the FD will sort that out next week.

Duffer of the Day with 29 points was Winscale, Deputy D’s were Two Beers and El Mat with 30 points.

Runner up was the Cardinal with 35 points and £2 plus one owed from Dewey.

This week’s winner was Shaggers (Kerching) with 36 points and £4 prize.

Handicaps will be adjusted as appropriate.

Swears box not in operation, as were not Geezers Cards.

Toasts

None

Previous minutes were agreed by the three representatives there last Monday.

Matters Arising

The Scuttler’s proposal from last week was discussed and it is fair to say that it was unanimously rejected. The Chair of the day made an impassioned speech to retain the status quo, he brought the assembly almost to tears. Hence the vote.

AOB

Any additional takers for Newbiggin on Friday 3 May to e-mail Shagpile asap.

Similarly any takers for a Texas Scramble at Blyth to advise Shagpile asap.

Meeting closed at 1.15, before the other MOHGs playing for the Team returned to the clubhouse.

PRESENT: M.C(l/e), G.W, B.Y, P.L, P.F, M.S, G.A, B.D, C.M, A.B-W, D.G-M, J.G, L.W, D.F, T.H.

The Rabbi agreed to Chair today’s meeting.

RESULTS: No 2’s were posted. DoD was Brains with 27 points. Winscale was DDoD with 29 points. Shotgun was the runner up with 37 points. The winner with a magnificent 39 points was the ever affable Crocs.

FINANCE: Geezer Cards—-£5. Swears—-£3.10. 2’s carried forward—-£3.

TOASTS: Tiger Woods who won the Masters to continue his trophy laden journey.
Winscale, who became a grandfather to baby Xavier.

LAST WEEKS MINUTES ACCEPTED IN THEIR ENTIRETY.

MATTERS ARISING:
BEAMISH: Herbie was hastily elected as Captain for the game, to be played on 20 May. J.G, D.F, P.F and G.W are unavailable. All prospective players are requested to email Herbie asap. Herbie agreed to book the tee times and confirm green fees for visitors and the price of refreshments. The matches should begin as near to 10am as possible.
* The Scuttler proposed that singles competitions on Monday should be organised in 2 divisions as per the Seniors. The principle was agreed by vote and will be discussed in more detail at subsequent meetings. For information, Brains revealed that at present there are 12 players with a h/cap of 16 or less and 10 players with 17 or more. The prize money would be split 50/50 between the two divisions.
* Crocs confirmed that he is willing to continue to compile the eclectic scores but only for those who confirm by email that they wish to be involved. Only singles competitions on Monday will be recorded. Those who wish to be involved in the eclectic, please confirm with Crocs asap.
* It was agreed that the Comp. Sec. of the day should tee off in either the first or second group each week in order to afford him the time to collate the scores upon his return.
* Herbie and 2Beers agreed to enter names for the Seniors Comp next week because the Rabbi and Scuttler are otherwise engaged.

The meeting closed amicably at 1.05.

Burt Kwok.