PRESENT: T.M, J.G, P.L, C.M, M.M, T.H, B.Y, P.F, F.B, P.B, K.S, D.F.

Today’s game was a 4BBB played at BURGHAM G.C, organised by the Geezer.

RESULTS: Duffers of the day were Crocs and Shagpile with a miserable 35 points. Runners up were the Laird and Soapy with 43 points. The winners were the ever popular duo of Kwok and Prof with a magnificent 44 points.

#Thanks were expressed to the Geezer for organising the competition.

*Tomorrow’s game is at Bedlington. Please be in the bar at 9.20, when the format and pairings for the competition will be conducted by Shagpile.

¥ The rearranged match v Newbiggin will be on Monday 16 October at Morpeth with the first tee off at 10am. At least 14 players are required but more may well be accommodated if necessary. Please contact Shagpile if you would like to be included.

Kwok.

Apologies from all those not here.

Present:- EE, PF (golf only), FB, AW, KS, TM, LW, PB, PL, ABW, RH, CM, JG, RY, GW (golf only)

Competition Results;

Two twos recorded on 8^th by Crocs and The Chair meant a payout to each of £1.50 after Johnnie W remembered to contribute his last 20p.

Duffer of the Day was EL Presidente with 21 points who will get a much needed uplift of two shots.

Deputy Duffer was EL Matador with 22 points, who left in a fit of pique at his display, shot uplift though Geoff.

In second place was Crocs with 37 points, he pockets £5 according to Shotgun, who seemed to become the Financial Diector’s lackey, a shot deducted from MOHGS handicap.

The winner was The ever popular Chair with 39 points, he gains a further £10 but loses 2 shots.

No Geezers Cards in play again today!!!

Swears made £4, thanks mainly to Johnnie who had at least £1’s worth before leaving the first green!

Toasts:

NUFC for the third win in the Premier League this season. (Are we going to toast every win?)

Optimism (can’t remember why)

Captain Scuttler for leadership in defeat at Beamish last Monday

Great grandad to be Jock Strap

Previous minutes were agreed as a correct record.

Matters Arising

Next Monday is a game against Hobson at Morpeth. MOHGS to be led by The Laird

Team consists of:

Laird, Straggler, President, Johnnie, Jocks, Cardinal, Prof, Geezer, Rabbi, Brains, Crocs, Scuttler,

Meet at the clubhouse at 9.45am for a 10.30 tee off.

Next event is 2 October against Newbiggin 9.30 onwards with 6 tee times.

Burgham event on 9 October, first 11 to confirm will play.

Visit to Bedlington on 10 October with Shagpile.

Brains asked when the Chairman’s Quaich would be contested. The Chair in some embarrassment plucked a date of 1^st November, although this may change!!

Further embarrassment of The Chair ensued when he was asked the whereabouts of the gavel. He claimed it was in one of his many lockers, he could just not recall which one.

It was agreed that Christmas would happen for the MOHGS on 11 December unless it is changed.

The Financial Director reminded all MOHGS that old £1 coins would not be accepted in the future.

Meeting closed at some time in the afternoon.

PRESENT: A.B-W, B.Y, C.D, F.B, R.J(Ruggles),C.M, P.F, J.G, T.M, M.M, K.S, D.G-M.

RESULTS: Today’s game was the first of the month and was therefore played off white tees. There were 2×2’s by the Chair and Shagpile. DoD was the unfortunate Crocs with a paltry 25 points. Kwok was the DDoD with a miserable 27 points. The runners up were Brains and the Chair with 36 points apiece. The winner with a magnificent 37 points was the newest member of the MOHGS, the talented and big hitting Ruggles.

FINANCE: £2.80 was collected in swears and fines and is in the safekeeping of the Chair. There were no Geezers cards in operation.

TOASTS: The Chair welcomed back Burty Kwok after his extended leave on childminding duties.

LAST WEEKS MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED IN THEIR ENTIRETY.

BEAMISH: The Chair was convinced that the Strap had all bases covered and the event would once more demonstrate his formidable organisational skills. Members were advised to be present at the clubhouse at 9am for meeting and greeting prior to the match. Buggies must be ordered in advance by contacting Jocks.

AOB: Shotgun and Windscale had been in conversation and ruminated about a collective noun to describe a group of MOHGS. They came up with a MERRIMENT or a MISERY of MOHGS. The Chair challenged members to suggest other suitable terms and report back at the next meeting.

* The Chair unilaterally declared that he was unhappy with the Monica awarded to our newest member and he intended to change it to RUGGLES, which he felt was more suitable for a talented young virile man.

* There was a short discussion about the Christmas Party. The Chair felt that it was inevitable that the clubhouse would be the venue, but he tapped the side of his nose while simultaneously winking and inferred that the President had a trick or two up his sleeve regarding the organisation of food. More would be revealed in the near future. Meanwhile he urged members to think outside the box and come up with ideas for a different format. Brains suggested that we could possibly do something with Velcro balls.

The meeting closed early at 1pm due to the fact that the cycling tour of Britain was imminent and there would be many road closures.

The Geezer and Kwok apologised for their absence next week.

B. Kwok.

Apologies from all those not here.

Present:- NB, FB, KS, LW, PB,PL,TH, RH, CC, JG, RY, MM, PM, DF, DGM

Chair extended a warm welcome to Paul, Shagpile’s son who basked in the new nickname of Noddy.

Competition Results;

Another large turnout meant a madding start. Five groups of three playing singles.

Two two’s posted by Prof and Johnnie who shared the £3 from today and the £4 brought forward from last week.

Duffer of the Day was The Chair with 26 points who will get a much needed uplift of two shots.

Deputy Duffer was Two Beers with 27 points, another shot uplift David.

In second place was Jockstrap with a magnificent 41 points, he pockets £5 according to the Assistant Deputy Competition Clerk’s calculations, and gets a shot deducted from MOHGS handicap.

However winners and this week’s double champions were Noddy and The Cardinal with a stupendous performance of 44 points. They share £10 and both get cut two shots.

No Geezers Cards in play today, they seem to have been lost!! Although the Rabbi is excused after being savaged by his dog.

Swears made £3.40, definitely on the slide not as good as last week, everyone must do better!

The Rabbi announced that tee times for next week will require an 8.15 meet, due mainly to the Cycle Race coming through Morpeth.

Toasts:

NUFC for the first win in the Premier League this season.

Hull for winning the RL Challenge Cup although the Wigan contingent refused to join in the toast.

RY for joint second in last weeks Seniors Comp.

The Laird magnanimously proposed a toast to the English Golf Team who won the annual competition against Scotland last Friday. He has assumed legendary status for the unselfish toast.

Previous minutes were agreed as a correct record.

Matters Arising

Rabbi was concerned that his attendance was not recorded in the minutes when he was obviously there since he Chaired the meeting with aplomb. The temporary scribe apologised profusely and claimed that once the party exceed 15 he cannot count!

AOB

The Directors insist that visitors should pay the full guest rate.

The Chair helpfully reminded the Financial Director that old £1 coins will cease to be legal tender in the near future.

The Financial Director informed the assembly that he was on the case and if those present could try to remember a meeting several months ago where he had informed everyone that he would no longer accept the old £1 as payment!

The Laird had invited Hobson Golf Club to Morpeth on 25 September.

Jocks reminded those scheduled to play that the return match against the Dirty Dozen was planned for 11 September. Scuttler was duly elected MOHGS Captain for the match.

Christmas was again deferred although some members felt that there was little alternative but to drink and eat at the Club. I’m sure that this will be discussed further.

Meeting closed early after infiltration by The Chairs youngest granddaughter who charmed all those present (unlike her grandfather)

Apologies from all those not here.

Present:- PB,DGM, DF, KS, Mike (President’s chum),GA, JG,MS, LW, RY, TH (last 4 golf only) CD,MM, Rob (nephew of MM), ABW,GA,CM,TM

Competition Results;

Exceptionally large turnout meant that we had to be quick on the draw to enable everyone to keep ahead of the Ladies County Competition behind.

No two’s posted so the pot of £4 is carried forward to next Monday.

Singles competition with Duffer of the Day Two Beers with a miserly 20 points. (Been there David!). Deputy Duffer of the Day was the ever popular Presidente with 22 points, no doubt because he was trying to keep ahead of the Ladies!

In second place was Rob (MM’s nephew) with 38 points which should have been more! He pockets £5 according to the Assistant Deputy Competition Clerk’s calculations.

However winner and this weeks champion was The Prof with a marvellous score of 40 points. His winnings of £13 were pocketed by the above mentioned Clerk who claims that he will pass the dosh to the Prof in due course, less a handling fee of course.

No Geezers Cards in play today, they could have delayed the play and brought the last 4 ball into contact with the Ladies!

Swears made £4.75, not as good as last week because the weather was fine!

The Chair was assumed by The Rabbi, who started by reading the riot act to all assembled. He specifically wanted to remind the MOHGS that many had not read the minutes and turned up later than the appointed 8am. This created problems and heartache for the above mentioned Clerk who shot off in the third group and left the Financial Director to sort out the remaining players and format. He did this with his usual style, aplomb and humility.

Toasts:

England Cricket Team

Alistair Cook for a double hundred although only against a poor Windies.

David and Martin for winning the national pairs competition last week.

Stenson for winning the Wyndham Classic.

The Chair announced that there would be no more Mr. Nice Guy.

Winscale pondered if the large turnout had any reason or precedent.

Previous minutes were agreed as a correct record.

Matters Arising

Brains was pleased to observe that Christmas had been put to one side.

AOB

The Laird had visited Hobson Golf Club and speculated about a home and away match with a similar like minded group there. Apparently they play on a Monday but have a limit on numbers. Is this to be discussed at the AGM?

The Laird to progress.

The Geezer (medal required) will arrange the game at Burgham in September.

Crocs extended a warm welcome back to Mike and Rob and hoped that the rush on the course had not adversely affected their enjoyment.

The Chair then admonished those MOHGS who ask for their names to be placed on the start sheet for Wednesday to ensure that in the event they cannot play their names should be removed in good time to allow other Seniors to take up the slack. As he said, no more Mr. Nice Guy!

Please note that next weeks tee times revert back to 8.40am. PLEASE BE READY BY THE PRACTICE GREEN AT 8.15AM. Any late comers will be thrust to the back and take flak from the Whitley Bay Boys!

Meeting closed very early at 1pm.

Apologies from all those not here.

Present:- PB,RY, DGM, DF, KS, RH (last two no golf) CD, PL, MS, LW, MM, MC,TH,ABW,GA,CM, FB,

Competition Results;

Unusual format of four man team with two to score, full handicap allowance. Some confusion on the tee but eventually four fourballs braved the wet conditions. Unfortunately only three fourballs returned and a threeball. The President not feeling up to a full round of golf.

One two posted by Herbie at the fourteenth, who pouched the £3.20 with glee.

Duffers of the day were Team 1, skippered by The Laird ably assisted by The Cardinal, The Prof and Two Beers. The Laird suggested an uplift of two shots each but was shouted down and MOHGS rules will apply.

Winners of the competition was Team 3 comprising Shagpile, Shotgun, Scuttler and Winscale. All to have handicap reduction of 1 shot! Despite the Assistant Temporary Competition Organiser suggesting a pull of two.

Geezers Cards were in play by Team 1, and so the remaining Teams were required to cough up £1 per Team so that the return was £4.

Swears made £8.60 which suggests that we should always play in the rain!

Toasts:

Jockstrap for his return to the fold. Prof. for his first grandson.

British Athletics Team, the mens 4×100 Relay Team, Usain Bolt, Mo Farrah.

Previous minutes were agreed as a correct record.

Matters Arising

None

AOB

Please note there are only 4 tees booked for next Monday starting at 8.24am be early or miss out! Everyone encouraged to be ready to play by 8am. The Chair felt sure that all would get off in the required time slot.

The President gently admonished slow play and encouraged everyone (without naming names) to start on time and play up each others backsides. The President went on to compliment the Competition Clerk whose feelings were hurt as he had been overruled on the first tee regarding the format of todays comp. Shotgun wanted to know what was wrong with having fun! He was immediately put in his place!

The Financial Director announced a pot of £134.20 for the Christmas extravaganza with hopefully more to come.

The Chair wants to discuss the likelihood of Christmas at the next meeting but one.

Shagpile announced the return visit to Bedlington has been changed to Tuesday 10 October. A complimentary four ball was offered by the Chair to be included for the day.

Meeting closed effectively at 1.55pm.

Gentlemen,

Enclosed is a note of the above meeting supplied by the ever loyal and lordly Laird.   Also enclosed is the updated MOHGS handicap board.

Those present (scores in brackets):- GA (30), FB (31), AB-W (36), MC (35), CD (32), DF (18), JG (30), TH (36), PL (37), TM (39), CM (39), MS (36), KS (36), GW (26), BY (27).

Results: Double 2s were posted by Dewy (at 4^th and 8^th) and Bumpers (14^th and 17^th) and both pouched the princely sum of £1.50p.

Duffer of the Day – The Laird (18pts)

Deputy Duffers – Soapy and El Matador (26pts)

Runner-up – The Rabbi (37pts and pouching £4.)

Joint Champions – The Geezer and Crocks (37pts and pouching £5.50 each).

Swears raised £4.40p but Geezer cards were not in operation.

Toasts: To Scuttler for his imminent 60^th birthday (still a babe really) and Moeen Ali and the English cricket team for their win at The Oval.   Eyebrows were raised regarding last week’s toast to the Lionesses for their third place in the European finals but in this politically correct world we perhaps should leave it there.

Previous minutes were agreed and there were no matters arising.

AOB

Members were reminded that in accordance with MOHGS rules a hole-in-one would scoop the pool, i.e. first, second and 2s.  Members also noted the proposed Seniors Away Day at Roseberry Grange on the 14^th September.

A discussion was held on whether handicaps could be amended where there was exceptional individual improvement but the meeting decided to adhere to the status quo.

Normal tee times have been booked for next week.

The meeting closed at 13.06.

Apologies from all those not here.

Present:- PB,CM,PL,MM,MC(Golf only),JG,KS,TH,RY(Golf only),DF,DGM,AL,EE,GW

The meeting was presided over expertly by The Rabbi

Competition Results;

Two twos posted by The Laird in his capacity as the Assistant Temporary Competition Organiser. He scooped the pot of £2.80!

Duffer of the Day was The Cardinal with a shocking score of only  20 points.

Deputy Duffer was Brains with just one more point!

Runner up was Bumpers, but since he had already left The Cardinal held his £4 winnings in the swears tin.

Winner on the day was Biggles with a marvellous 46 points. Obviously serving Queen and County is working wonders for his golf! One suspects that not much serving is happening.

Handicaps to be adjusted as per the rules of MOHGS, even though there were suggestions about adjusting Biggles’ handicap on general play. Fortunately the voice of reason prevailed.

Geezers Cards were in play and returned £3.60

Swears made £3.60 which was a much better effort than the last week. We must remember that Christmas is not far away!

Toasts:

Jordan Smith who won the German Open, always nice for an Englishman to win in Germany. Also a muted toast to the Lionesses although making the semi-final on the European Champs is very laudable, they ain’t won nothing yet!

Previous minutes were agreed as a correct record.

Matters Arising

None

AOB

Please note there are only 3 tees booked for next Monday starting at 8.30am be early or miss out!

Shagpile announced a return visit to Bedlington on Monday 9 October at £11 per head. He has also made a request of Morpeth Directors that visiting parties to MOHGS should pay £11 per head. Watch this space for a reply.

The Cardinal announced that he had played at Warkworth last week for only £10 and the course was in very good nick.

Biggles wished it to be noted that he considered Morpeth to be in excellent nick and that the greenstaff should be congratulated.

Please add Biggles monika to the distribution list.

andrew.layton642@btinternet.com

Meeting closed efficiently at 1.45pm.

PRESENT: F.B (Ret. on 5th.), K.S(N/P), J.G, M.S, C.D, P.L, P.B, C.M, P.F, G.W, D.G-M, T.M, A.B-W, T.H, D.F, M.M.

Concern was expressed for the unfortunate Chair, who was forced to retire on the 5th. with a severe case of griping of the guts. There followed a heated debate about his liability regarding the sweep and 2’s contribution.

Today’s game was a team game whereby each player played off 9/10ths of their respective h/caps and the best two scores counted using the stableford method.

Due to the enormous void created by the infirm Chair, the President, gallantly agreed to Chair today’s meeting, looking fit and tanned after his sojourn down under.

Results were delivered by the deputy Comp. Sec., the Laird, who was also responsible for the format of today’s game.

RESULTS: Dewey, Shagpile and the Scuttler all scored a 2. D’soD were the Geezer and a brace of double barrels with 74 points. DDoD were Herbie, Brains and the infirm Chair with 76 points. In third place were El Mat, Shagpile and the Laird with 81 points. The runners up with 82 points were Dewey, the Rabbi and the Cardinal(fresh from his jaunt around Europe). In first place were the dream team of Kwok, Crocs and the Scuttler with a massive 83 points. The losers will gain one shot whilst the champs will be deducted a shot apiece.

TOASTS: To Roger Federer the 8 times Wimbledon Champ.
To Lewis Hamilton for his victory in the British GP.
To the new lady Dr Who.

LAST WEEKS MINUTES ACCEPTED IN THEIR ENTIRETY.

AOB: The Fin. Sec. was concerned that he had not received any contributions in the form of Geezers cash or swears for at least 5 weeks. It was pointed out that the cash was in the safekeeping of the unfortunate and infirm Chair. It was suggested that the Chair should surrender his passport until all the cash is recovered.

Kwok will not be available for the Seniors Comps for the next several weeks after next Wednesday due to family commitments. There is therefore a space available on 26th July at approx. 9.30, if anyone is interested.

The meeting ended at 1.15.

Bur T. Kwok(Clerk).

PRESENT: G.W, T.H, C.D, P.F, T.M, M.S, M.M, F.B, D.G-M, C.M, J.G.

RESULTS: Only one 2 by Crocs on the 17th. DoD was the unfortunate Chair with 30 points. DD’soD were the Geezer and Brains with 31 points apiece. The runner up was El Mat with 38 points. The winner with a magnificent 40 points and champine of the day was the ever popular Dewey.

Other scores — T.H-37, P.F-32, M.S-37, M.M-32, D.G-M-33, C.M-34.

Crocs’ group revealed that they had entered the contest devoid of Geezers cards but had used their initiative and substituted coloured tee pegs for the cards, thus ensuring that they adhered to the spirit of the law. They were warmly commended by the Chair.

FINANCES: Swears— £1.60. Geezers cards— £3.40.

TOASTS: To Shagpile on the event of his birthday. He, very generously purchased drinks   for the members to celebrate the momentous event.
To the Lions, who managed to draw the Test series.
To the men and woman’s cricket teams who were victorious in their respective matches.

The MOHGS Chalice was presented to the current champion, Kwok, by the previous winner, the Scuttler. A celebratory snap was taken by Crocs to commemorate the event.

LAST WEEKS MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED IN THEIR ENTIRETY.
Matters Arising: Doubts still remain about the infamous Winker incident from last week. However it was agreed that the correct decision was made at the time by the omnipotent Chair, whilst wearing the hat of Comp. Sec.

AWAY DAY AT THE CITY COURSE: Crocs was commended for organising the event. There are at least 10 interested participants, including the Laird and Rabi. There are 4 tee times booked, beginning at 10.02. The cost will be £18pp and MOHGS h/caps will prevail.

The Geezer generously donated £1 to the coffers to mitigate his appalling behaviour on the 13th, when after yet another abysmal shot, he petulantly flung his club in the general direction of his errant ball.

The Chairman thanked Dewey for stepping into the void created by the absent Laird and delivering today’s results. The Chair also suggested that it may be an opportune moment for new blood to take over the helm and allow him to retire gracefully to the relative tranquility of the back benches. Dewey quickly countered this proposal by declaring that the society was in need of strong and stable leadership at this juncture and a change in leadership was not an option. There was general agreement that the status quo should prevail. The Chair acknowledged this vote of confidence and closed the meeting at 1.21pm, which gave the members the opportunity to avail themselves of the free tatties on offer from the ever generous Crocs.

Bur.T Kwok(Clerk)