PRESENT: P.L, M.S, P.F, K.S, J.G, B.H, M.S, M.M, A.B-W, C.D, T.M(N/P).

APOLOGIES: C.M, T.H, D.F.

The Chair was absent, therefore the Rabbi hopped smartly into the hot seat.

There followed a short discussion après nothing about the pros and cons of circumcision. One of our esteemed members revealed that as a child he was circumcised by the eponymous Dr. Cox.

RESULTS: No 2’s were posted therefore £2 is carried forward. D’soD were the unfortunate Shagpile and Bumpers with 28 points apiece. DDoD was Dewey with 29 points. The runner up was Jocks with a creditable 39 points. This week’s champ with a magnificent 42 points was the indefatigable Brains.

FINANCE: £1.40 was collected in swears. All monies are in the safekeeping of the Rabbi.

Bumpers paid up his swear money owed from last week.

Christmas Party: The Geezer gave a verbal description of progress to date which was virtually a repeat of last week’s email. The cost will be £7.50 per head. Food will be served from 2pm.

Tee times have been reserved by the Rabbi although the Bailiff has managed to interpose his group in the middle of the MOHGS tee times, as is his right as a paying member of the club. The Rabbi did attempt to come to an agreement with the Bailiff to swap times but the Bailiff was not keen. The tee times therefore are as follows: 9.04, 9.12, 9.28 and 9.36.

FOXTON: There are now 16 entrants for the game at Foxton. Ming the Merciless actually attended today’s  meeting late, to apologise in person for having to pull out on Thursday. Jock Strapp will be sending out an email with all the terms and conditions for the game. He has already conducted the draw. The first tee time is 10am but contestants are asked to attend at 9.15-9.30. The meals will be served after the game. The cost per person will be £16 for the all day breakfast and £14 for the soup which includes the cost of the golf.

AOB: Kwok will miss the Seniors match on Wednesday due to a family bereavement and funeral duties in Cumbria.

Dewey will be absent until 12 Jan. He wished all the members a very happy Christmas.

There being no further business, the meeting closed at 1.30pm.

Kwok.

PRESENT: C.C, B.H, T.M, M.M, J.G, P.B, G.A, B.Y, C.M, P.F, C.D, D.G-M, P.L, T.H, K.S, F.B, M.C, D.F.

RESULTS: Presented by the reserve stand in Comp. Sec., Shagpile. There were 3×2’s posted by The Cardinal, Crocs and the Geezer. Today’s duffer was the unfortunate Laird with a miserable 25 points. There were 3 DD’soD with 26 points apiece, Winscale, the Rabbi and Brains. Runners up with 38 points apiece were the Prof and Shagpile. The joint winners were Bumpers and the Geezer with a magnificent 39 points each. The winners receive £6 each. Bumpers share is in the safekeeping of the Geezer.

FINANCE: £2.80 was collected in swears. Unfortunately the Sec., neglected to record the amount collected from the proceeds of the Geezers cards. However the Hon. Fin. Sec., announced that after a great deal of deliberation, he had decided that he would liberate £150 from the swears chest towards the cost of the Christmas meal. This declaration was greeted with a unanimous display of jubilation by the members who as a man congratulated the Sec. for his fine stewardship of the funds.

TOASTS: To the Scotland RU team which demolished the uncompromising Australians.

LAST WEEKS MINUTES ACCEPTED IN THEIR ENTIRETY.

CHRISTMAS PARTY:,

The Chair announced that he had received 17 replies from members who will attend the party and reminded the group that the golf game will be over an extended course of 15 holes using just 4 clubs and a putter. The Chair encouraged members to dress smartly but casually and to use their imagination to create a Christmas themed outfit, if at all possible.

The Geezer will continue negotiations with the caterers and was asked to investigate the possibility of a vegetarian option to ensure that all minority groups are included.

The food will be displayed in the bar area and members will be encouraged to help themselves.

It was anticipated that the golf will begin at 9.30 and food will be served from 2pm onwards.

FOXTON: Jock Strap announced that he has 14 definite starters for the game on Thursday 7 December. The first tee time is 10am. Shagpile was confident that he could find two extra players, to bring the total to a more manageable 16 players. It was decided on a vote that MOHGS h/caps would prevail on away days.

CLOSE HOUSE: Many MOHGS will attend Close House this Wednesday. Kwok volunteered to enter the names of the missing MOHGS onto the starting sheet for the next Seniors Competition. He collected the names and approximate start times from the members who were present.

AOB:

* It was revealed that Bumpers owes 60p for swears and that the snitch wishes to remain anonymous.

* Rockcliffe Hall was mentioned as a possible venue for a future away day. A game of 4 ball during the month of December including a Christmas buffet is £100/head.

*The Geezer apologised in advance for his absence next week.

* It was decided that through the green will be observed until further notice.

There being no further business, the meeting closed at 2pm.

BURT.

PRESENT: F.B, P.F, J.G, B.Y, T.H, C.M, G.A(n/p), M.C, T.M, M.M, P.L, D.G-M.

APOLS: J.Strap.

RESULTS: 2×2’s were posted by Shagpile and Kwok who shared today’s takings plus the unclaimed pot from last week which was an extra £2.80. The aforementioned £2.80 was paid using the Geezer card pot which means that last week’s 2’s money can remain in the swear box. The DoD was the unfortunate Prof with a meagre 24 points. DDoD was the Straggler with 28 points. The runner up with a very respectable 40 points was 2Beers. This week’s champine with a mighty 42 points was the irrepressible Geezer.

FINANCES: Swears £2.80 and Geezers cards £2.80. The extra income will no doubt please the Finance Sec. who was concerned about the shortfall affecting our liquid assets.

TOASTS: To Tommy Fleetwood who won the race to Dubai.

To the England RU team and the TMO.

To the four MOHGS who collected trophies at the recent Seniors prize giving ceremony. A celebratory picture of the winners is posted on the MOHGS blog.

LAST WEEKS MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED IN THEIR ENTIRETY.

The clerk enquired of the Chair as to why he was so tardy in posting the minutes, since he had had them in his possession for a whole week. He immediately placed the blame squarely on the slender shoulders of Mrs. B. and told a cock and bull tale about her iPhone and his incompatibility and gremlins in the system as well as slips between the cup and lip.

The recipients of the meal at the Seniors prize giving day were pleased to report that it was acceptable.

BUSINESS: There was a general discussion about away days, before the conversation became more specific and homed in on the recent posting of J.Strap about Foxton. There was overwhelming support for a visit to Foxton before Christmas if possible. Monday 4 Dec. was mooted as the preferred date. It was hoped that Mr. Strap might look into the possibilities and post an update of his enquiries via the tinternet. The Geezer informed the group that he is allowed free access to the Foxton course as a result of his association with high powered groups within the golfing fraternity.

CHRISTMAS: The Geezer has girded his loins and is now ready to do battle with the caterers about the cost and composition of the menu. He will endeavour to pull off an audacious feat of haggling to obtain a variety of mouth watering delicacies. Depending upon the size of the party, he intends to order 40% chicken curry rice and chips, 40% chilli rice and chips and 20% sandwiches. He will further endeavour to strike this bargain for less than £10/head. The members await with baited breath the outcome of negotiations.

As the Christmas party draws ever closer it was decided to firm up on some of the salient features. It was decided that three clubs and a putter will now become four clubs and a putter and 11 holes will now become 14 holes. The tee times will be left in the capable hands of the Rabbi.

Shagpile revealed that there is to be an event in the clubhouse on 30 Nov, which was bequeathed by Phil Rickard and includes a buffet and entertainment. Shagpile has four spare tickets if anyone is interested in attending.

The meeting closed at 1.35pm.

Kwok.

PRESENT: B.H, T.M, D.F, A.B-W, P.L, P.B, M.M, P.F, G.W, M.S, F.B, G.A, B.Y, J.G.

APOLS: 2Beers and Crocs.

RESULTS: There were no 2’s therefore £2.80 is carried forward. D’soD were Brains, the Straggler, Winscales and the Rabbi with 73 points. DD’soD were the Geezer, Prof and Laird, as well as Kwok, the Cardinal, El Mat and Jocks on 74 points. The winners with 76points were Shagpile, Shotgun and Herbie with 76 points. The runners up donated all their winnings to the swear box. The duffers all gain a shot while the winners are all pulled one shot.

Herbie was forced to leave the meeting early but asked the secretary to note that he will email the Close House participants in the near future with all the relevant information about the forthcoming away day.

FINANCES: £2 was collected in swears. There was consternation that the Geezers cards were not in use again today which means that a very valuable source of revenue has dried up. The Rabbi volunteered to ensure that in future the cards are will be made available.

TOASTS: Jocks reluctantly admitted to having won a prestigious golfing competition in a field of 150 honed athletes at Beamish. The game helped to raise a considerable amount of cash for Children in Need. The Rabbi and Prof won at the Seniors away day at Newbiggin. The Laird and 2Beers were second in the same event.

The club manager apologised that the clubhouse had been closed to the early bird golfers. There had been a mix up about who would open up and the manager had been let down by an unnamed individual.

Shagpile commended the Laird for dressing as a poppy in recognition of Remembrance Sunday.

LAST WEEKS MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED IN THEIR ENTIRETY.

The Geezer flourished a letter of thanks from SHAK, the dog rescue society in recognition of the MOHGS contribution to their coffers, after a recent away day.

BUSINESS: The Chair revealed that he had been heartened by the previous week’s discussions regarding the Christmas party. The Geezer will approach the caterers and enquire about what they can provide for a basic £10 per head. He suggested that we plump for a sandwich mixture or a hot meal of either chilli or curry. A hot meal seemed to be the preferred choice of the majority.

The Laird apologised in advance for his absence next week. Shotgun will be absent for the next two weeks.

There being no further business, the meeting closed at 1.15pm.

Kwok.

PRESENT: D.G-M, A.B-W, B.H, K.S, T.H, M.S, P.L, G.W, C.M, P.F, C.D, J.G, G.A, D.F, T.M, M.M.

APOLS: The Prof.

The Laird declared that today’s game would be the best two scores from groups of three.

The Rabbi gallantly agreed to fill the void created by the Maltese Falcon and Chair today’s meeting.

RESULTS: Delivered by the Laird, whose first words were, ” There were a plethora of twos on the 17th.” The lucky twosters were Crocs, Shagpile and the aforementioned Laird. The each received £1 and generously donated the spare 20p to the swears tin. D’soD were the Geezer, Brains and Herbie with 74 points. DD’soD were Crocs, Scuttler and the Rabbi with 75 points. Runners up with a creditable 78 points were Jockstrap, 2Beers and the Laird. There were joint winners on 79 points apiece, Winscales, Soapy and Dewey and El Mat, Kwok, Shagpile and Shotgun. All winners are pulled one shot apiece and the losers gain one shot apiece.

FINANCE: No Geezers cards today. £3.90 was collected in swears and fines and is in the safekeeping of the Rabbi.

TOASTS: To Justin Rose who won the Turkish Open.

LAST WEEKS MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED IN THEIR ENTIRETY.

MATTERS ARISING:

* The Laird affirmed that he has regained his missing mojo.

* Herbie revealed that he has a full quota for the game at Close House. Brains is first reserve in the event that anyone is unable to play. He is negotiating for a 10am k.o on Wed. 29th on the Colts Course if possible.

Buggies must be pre booked at a cost of £35 but the cost of green fees is included.

CHRISTMAS PARTY:

It was agreed that the Geezer would be the spokesman for the MOHGS and approach the highest powerbroker within the club to voice concerns about the quality of fare on offer for the Christmas Party. This is indeed a noble gesture since the Geezer will not actually attend the event as he will unfortunately be in sunnier climes enjoying hand crafted food created by the worlds finest chefs.

The meeting closed at 1.30pm.

Kwok.

Apologies from all those not here.

Present:- MS, TH, TM, CD, PB, FB, GW, DGM, MM, CC (golf only), DF, RY (golf only), JG, PL, ABW, RH, CM, KS

Competition Results;

Four twos recorded, two by the Laird, one by Soapy, one by Crocs, they share £3.60 pro rata (that’s Latin by the way)!

Duffer of the Day was Brains with 27 points, Deputy Duffers were Scuttler and The Cardinal with 28 points

In second place was The Geezer with 36 points, he pockets £6 The winner was The Laid who seems to have recovered his mojo with 42 points, he gains a further £12.

Handicaps to be adjusted in accordance with the house rules.

No Geezers Cards in play again today!!!

Swears made £2.60, the Christmas Party is looking like meagre fare.

Toasts:

Lewis Hamilton for fourth world championship.

Justin Rose win in the WGC.

England U17 Footballers for putting the senior team in the shade by winning the World Cup.

Iris McCarthy, The Cardinal’s latest granddaughter.

Mohgs for such a magnificent turnout today.

Previous minutes were agreed as a correct record.

Matters Arising

The meal in question appeared to be Sweet and Sour Chicken, whatever it was, it was inedible according to Del Boy.

The Chair raised the Mohg Blogg, he seemed to be completely unaware of what it was and what he wanted it to be! Lord Snooty should be called before the house to give evidence of harassment by The Chair, after all everybody else is doing it.

Helpfully Crocs advised that he will send some compromising pictures for Blogg inclusion.

Herbie proposed that for future winter games the flag should not be removed when putting to allow a faster game and to get Mohgs used to the new rules in 2019. Approved without dissent, as was ready golf mused by Shagpile.

Rudding Park was mentioned as a venue for an overnighter, several however want the same drinks package as last time.

Suggestions of other venues to be tabled next week when The Chair will be in Malta.

Christmas Party

President again spoke eloquently on supporting the golf club. Suggesting that a Mohg should advise a member of the Board of our concerns on the catering front. Shagpile had spoken to a Board member who said that the Board was aware of many complaints.

However the MOHGS decided that they would eat in the clubhouse on the Christmas Party day regardless of the concerns over food.

After several votes it was agreed that a buffet was required and that someone(???) would approach the caterers with our requirements and get a price.

By this time (1.50) The Assistant Deputy Scribe had to leave to recover his computer from the menders so he left and is unaware of further discussions at the meeting.

Everyone will be pleased to know that the computer is now fit and well.

PRESENT: C.D, G.A, P.F, B.H, K.S, P.L, M.M, D.G-M, M.S, D.F, T.M, F.B, L.W(left early).

It was decided that if a ball is lost in leaves and all players are in agreement, another ball may be dropped to replace the lost one. Bunkers were treated as GUR and there were preferred lies on the fairway.

FINANCES: £2.70 was collected in swears and is in the safekeeping of the Chair.

RESULTS: There was one 2 recorded by Two Beers on the 14th. D’soD were Shagpile and Winscales with 23 points apiece. DDoD was the Chair with 24 points. The Rabbi was runner up with a creditable 39 points. The winner with a magnificent 41 points was the ever popular Laird. The joint duffers will each receive 2 extra shots.

TOASTS: To Lewis Hamilton for his victory in the US Grand Prix in Austin, Texas.

LAST TIMES MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED.

CHRISTMAS PARTY:

The Chair reported that he had further first hand knowledge of the ineptitude of the current caterers. Delboy was dining at the club on Sunday. He ordered a bacon sarnie, only to be informed that the bacon was off the menu. Delboy readjusted his expectations and ordered a chicken Chow Mein. To his horror and disbelief, he discovered upon imbibing the first mouthful that the pesky stuff was cold. He was forced to ask for it to be reheated.

The above paragraph was a precursor into discussions as to the venue of the Christmas party. Needless to say there was a bias beginning to build up against using the club caterers. However it appears that the chances of a shared table are slim if not impossible. The Geezer suggested that someone should approach a Board member to voice concerns about the unsuitability of the caterers but no one appeared willing to take up the cudgels.

The Chair gave an impromptu historical perspective on the Christmas Party venues to date. At first there was golf (3 clubs plus putter), then drinks and games in the clubhouse and finally a trip into Morpeth for an Indian. Next there was a shared table including impressive ham and stotties and pease pudding sandwiches in the clubhouse plus the usual activities. Finally the venue remained the clubhouse with the usual activities but the in house caterers provided refreshments, which he deemed lacked quality and finesse.

*The date of the party is set for Monday 11 December.

# There will be the customary golf with cubs plus putter.

+ Games in the clubhouse to be ratified at a later date.

The President has long been a champion of the in house caterers and spoke eloquently about the need for members to support their clubs whenever possible in these harsh competitive times when clubs are struggling to make ends meet. He also observed that we are now a bigger group than in times gone by and that many may not wish to stay for a long drawn out session # Herbie suggested that we approach the caterers with a defined menu in mind and see if they could meet our expectations and at what cost.

# Shagpile gallantly offered to collect some of the Gosforth members in his own car and transport them to the party to save them the bother of leaving cars overnight in the car park.

* Dewey and the Laird both apologised for their absences as they will be away for the Christmas period.

Today’s meeting did not reach any firm conclusions but there is every possibility that more headway will be made next week by which time members will have had the opportunity to absorb the information and attend the next meeting with renewed vigour, determination and bristling with ideas to make 2017 the best party ever.

Meeting closed at 1.15pm.

Kwok.

PRESENT: T.M, J.G, P.L, C.M, M.M, T.H, B.Y, P.F, F.B, P.B, K.S, D.F.

Today’s game was a 4BBB played at BURGHAM G.C, organised by the Geezer.

RESULTS: Duffers of the day were Crocs and Shagpile with a miserable 35 points. Runners up were the Laird and Soapy with 43 points. The winners were the ever popular duo of Kwok and Prof with a magnificent 44 points.

#Thanks were expressed to the Geezer for organising the competition.

*Tomorrow’s game is at Bedlington. Please be in the bar at 9.20, when the format and pairings for the competition will be conducted by Shagpile.

¥ The rearranged match v Newbiggin will be on Monday 16 October at Morpeth with the first tee off at 10am. At least 14 players are required but more may well be accommodated if necessary. Please contact Shagpile if you would like to be included.

Kwok.

Apologies from all those not here.

Present:- EE, PF (golf only), FB, AW, KS, TM, LW, PB, PL, ABW, RH, CM, JG, RY, GW (golf only)

Competition Results;

Two twos recorded on 8^th by Crocs and The Chair meant a payout to each of £1.50 after Johnnie W remembered to contribute his last 20p.

Duffer of the Day was EL Presidente with 21 points who will get a much needed uplift of two shots.

Deputy Duffer was EL Matador with 22 points, who left in a fit of pique at his display, shot uplift though Geoff.

In second place was Crocs with 37 points, he pockets £5 according to Shotgun, who seemed to become the Financial Diector’s lackey, a shot deducted from MOHGS handicap.

The winner was The ever popular Chair with 39 points, he gains a further £10 but loses 2 shots.

No Geezers Cards in play again today!!!

Swears made £4, thanks mainly to Johnnie who had at least £1’s worth before leaving the first green!

Toasts:

NUFC for the third win in the Premier League this season. (Are we going to toast every win?)

Optimism (can’t remember why)

Captain Scuttler for leadership in defeat at Beamish last Monday

Great grandad to be Jock Strap

Previous minutes were agreed as a correct record.

Matters Arising

Next Monday is a game against Hobson at Morpeth. MOHGS to be led by The Laird

Team consists of:

Laird, Straggler, President, Johnnie, Jocks, Cardinal, Prof, Geezer, Rabbi, Brains, Crocs, Scuttler,

Meet at the clubhouse at 9.45am for a 10.30 tee off.

Next event is 2 October against Newbiggin 9.30 onwards with 6 tee times.

Burgham event on 9 October, first 11 to confirm will play.

Visit to Bedlington on 10 October with Shagpile.

Brains asked when the Chairman’s Quaich would be contested. The Chair in some embarrassment plucked a date of 1^st November, although this may change!!

Further embarrassment of The Chair ensued when he was asked the whereabouts of the gavel. He claimed it was in one of his many lockers, he could just not recall which one.

It was agreed that Christmas would happen for the MOHGS on 11 December unless it is changed.

The Financial Director reminded all MOHGS that old £1 coins would not be accepted in the future.

Meeting closed at some time in the afternoon.

PRESENT: A.B-W, B.Y, C.D, F.B, R.J(Ruggles),C.M, P.F, J.G, T.M, M.M, K.S, D.G-M.

RESULTS: Today’s game was the first of the month and was therefore played off white tees. There were 2×2’s by the Chair and Shagpile. DoD was the unfortunate Crocs with a paltry 25 points. Kwok was the DDoD with a miserable 27 points. The runners up were Brains and the Chair with 36 points apiece. The winner with a magnificent 37 points was the newest member of the MOHGS, the talented and big hitting Ruggles.

FINANCE: £2.80 was collected in swears and fines and is in the safekeeping of the Chair. There were no Geezers cards in operation.

TOASTS: The Chair welcomed back Burty Kwok after his extended leave on childminding duties.

LAST WEEKS MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED IN THEIR ENTIRETY.

BEAMISH: The Chair was convinced that the Strap had all bases covered and the event would once more demonstrate his formidable organisational skills. Members were advised to be present at the clubhouse at 9am for meeting and greeting prior to the match. Buggies must be ordered in advance by contacting Jocks.

AOB: Shotgun and Windscale had been in conversation and ruminated about a collective noun to describe a group of MOHGS. They came up with a MERRIMENT or a MISERY of MOHGS. The Chair challenged members to suggest other suitable terms and report back at the next meeting.

* The Chair unilaterally declared that he was unhappy with the Monica awarded to our newest member and he intended to change it to RUGGLES, which he felt was more suitable for a talented young virile man.

* There was a short discussion about the Christmas Party. The Chair felt that it was inevitable that the clubhouse would be the venue, but he tapped the side of his nose while simultaneously winking and inferred that the President had a trick or two up his sleeve regarding the organisation of food. More would be revealed in the near future. Meanwhile he urged members to think outside the box and come up with ideas for a different format. Brains suggested that we could possibly do something with Velcro balls.

The meeting closed early at 1pm due to the fact that the cycling tour of Britain was imminent and there would be many road closures.

The Geezer and Kwok apologised for their absence next week.

B. Kwok.