PRESENT: A.L, P.L, T.H, C.M, J.G, H.C, T.M, K.S, F.B, P.F. (B.H and D.F, were present but did not play.)

APOLOGIES: E.E, G.W, P.B.

RESULTS: One 2 was posted by Mr. McKay who received £2 plus last week’s pot. The DoD was Biggles with 21 points. Brains was DDoD with 30 points. The Geezer was the runner up with 34 points. Joint winners on 35 points were Crocs, Mr. McKay and the Rabbi.

Kwok was informed that he was no longer the Hon. Sec. and henceforth was reduced in status to a mere clerk without portfolio. So here are today’s minutes.

TOASTS: To Jock Strap and Soapy after sojourns in hospital and Oz respectively.

LAST WEEKS MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED.

MATTERS ARISING: Dalmahoy has been bottomed out.

Donations to the Bailiff for his Charity walk can be paid to him in person or to the Cardinal who can make online contributions.

Geezers Cards: P.F(20p), A.L(60p), H.C(60p), K.S(40p), C.M(20p), J.G(40p), T.M(20p)—-£2.60.

There was £2.80 in swears.

There was a vote on whether or not a hedge was a tree or a bush and on a vote of 10-2 it was decided that a hedge is a truncated tree and therefore should be counted as such in regard to the Geezer’s cards.

If at all possible those who are involved in the Chair’s Quaich competition should play their games next week.

Soapy’s mate from Oz said that the MOHGS seemed to be a, ” Bloody bronzer mob.”

Meeting closed at 1.25.

Kwok( Clerk)

The 9th. Hole is now in working order.

PRESENT: P.L, P.F, D.F, F.B, T.M, C.M, P.B.

APOLOGIES: B.H, E.E, T.H, A.L, H.C.

Due to an oversight, there were no Geezer’s cards today.

RESULTS: There was one 2 posted by the Rabbi. DoD was Crocs on 26 points. DD’soD were the Laird and Kwoks on 29 points. The Geezer was runner up with 32 points. The winner and champine of the day was the irrepressible Chair with 33 massive points. The Rabbi and the Cardinal had 31 points apiece.

TOASTS: The England football team for their victory over Lithuania.

To the Laird who won last week’s Senior’s Competition.

To Richie Ramsey who won the Hassan II Trophy.

CORRESPONDENCE: Soapy sent a postcard to the Chair to say how much he was missing the old codger and how he was nonetheless having a good time down under.

LAST WEEKS MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED AS A TRUE RECORD.

MATTERS ARISING: The Chair promised to speak to Strappe about the possibility of a Texas Scramble when the time is right.

Dallmahoy is booked for May 10th. The cost is £122 per punter and should be paid by April 10th.

C.M has ordered a single room and it was decided that the other single should go to P.B. The remaining contestants will be sharing, thus: Beaton/Beaton, Findlay/Layton, Fowler/Gibson.

The Chair had been approached by the Bailiff for sponsorship for a Charity walk which he will be undertaking shortly in aid of Heart Research. The Chair has Sponsor forms which can be completed by interested parties next week. The Bailiff will hopefully complete a walk along the Roman Wall on April 27.

AOB: Mr. P.B informed the group that the Senior’s team are short of players on 16th. April, for the visit to Seahouses. Three MOHGS signified an interest, which was remarkably the number of players he was short.

It was proposed that there be a Bowls Day this year since it had proved to be very popular 2 years ago. Mr. D.F declared that he would attempt to make arrangements for a bowls day in June/July.

The Chair tried to make progress on the CHRISTMAS PARTY since April is just around the corner and time flies. The proposed venue was Ephesus but at present the jury is out over its suitability in terms of service and food quality. Mr. P.B insisted that he will try it out shortly and give a definitive judgement.

Next Monday is Easter Monday and the Rabbi has booked two tee times at 8.56 and 9.04. There appears to be three interested parties at present.

There being no further business, the meeting closed at 1.25pm.

BURT(Hon. Sec.)

Only 8 combatants entered today’s competition therefore it was decided to play Better ball. The 9th hole was out of commission due to drainage works.

PRESENT: T.M, C.M, P.B, P.F, P.L, J.G, F.B, D.F.

RESULTS: There were 2 x 2’s posted by the Laird and Rabbi who shared a pot of £5.60 which was in turn split with their partners, Brains and Straggler. D’soD were Straggler/Rabbi and Geezer/Cardinal on 39 points. The joint winners were Kwok/Crocs and Laird/Brains with 41 points apiece.

GEEZER’S CARDS: P.F(40p), P.L(20p), J.G(40p), P.B(40p), D.F(20p), —–£1.60

£2.00 was collected in swears.

APOLOGIES: Mr. McKay, Falcon, President, Jethro, Biggles, St. Rappe.

TOASTS: To the President and Lady M. to wish them a happy holiday and safe return. The Chair insisted on offering a wee dram to honour the couple before today’s proceedings got under way.

To Jocks and Mr. McKay to wish them both speedy recoveries.

To the Dept. Of Ophthalmology at the RVI for improving the Kid’s eyesight.

To the 6 Nations Championship for providing excellent entertainment and showing up footballers for the pathetic diving, conniving and contriving duplicitous creatures they appear to be.

LAST WEEk’S MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED AS A TRUE RECORD.

The Chair apologised for being unable to attend the game at the Bridle Path on Friday. There are 4 other contestants interested in playing.

The Soc. Sec. Declared that he had made no progress with the Dalmahoy trip due to pressure of family commitments.

The Chair revealed that the President is Keen to organise a trip to Southport to play a game against his former golfing mates. This will be bottomed out upon his return from Oz.

The Chair remarked that the Geezer’s cards have added an extra layer of excitement and praised the Geezer for this initiative.

There were questions asked about the use of cards, in particular the 6 or more and the 3 putt cards, during a better ball competition and St. Rappe will be asked for guidance upon his return.

The Geezer asked if the MOHGS would consider a Texas Scramble. The Chair politely but firmly turned down the suggestion.

Tee times as per next week. The meeting closed at 12.50.

Burt E. Kwok(Hon. Sec.)

PRESENT: P.F, J.G, T.M, C.M, D.F, P.L, F.B, K.S, N.McQ.

APOLOGIES: B.H, P.B, E.E, H.C, Biggles.

RESULTS: There were no 2’s posted, therefore £1.80 will be carried forward to next week. DoD’s were the Geezer and Crocs with 34 points. The DDoD with 35 points was N.McQ. The Rabbi was runner up with 42 points. The winner with a magnificent 43 points was the ever popular Straggler.

GEEZER’S CARDS: J.G(20 p), P.F(40p), T.M(20p), D.F(60p), C.M(20p), K.S(80p)—-£2.40.

There was £1.40 collected in swears.

TOASTS: The Chair welcomed Noel and invited him to play again whenever he was in the area.

To Mr. B.H who has hopefully had his operation and now recovering his strength and fitness.

To B.H and K.S who won through to the semi finals of the Senior’s Calcutta Cup.

To Soapy who won Saturday’s Competition with a massive 14 under par total.

To Lewis Hamilton who won the first GP of the season.

LAST WEEK’S MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED AS A TRUE RECORD.

MATTER’S ARISING: The Hon. Soc. Sec. Is booking 8 places at Dalmahoy and will release more information shortly.

Crocs is booking two tee times at the Bridle Path on Friday 27th March. There are 5 people interested at the present time.

Beamish will be sorted when Mr. B.H returns from his convalescence.

BUSINESS OF THE DAY: It was decided that henceforth, the nickname for Noel McQueen will be Barney Rubble, due to his association with rocks and minerals.

The Chair revealed that Kwok has breached copyright by naming his old folks bingo group, St. Bedes Open House. He was further enraged to discover that Kwok has offered the name Open House as a franchise for a multitude of Bingo groups which will be unveiled over the next few weeks. The Chair warned Kwok that he has put the matter in the hands of his legal team, Lord Snooty, and that he could expect to receive a letter shortly, demanding 25 guineas per infringement.

A pub crawl in Newcastle has been arranged for Friday 3rd. April to celebrate the birthday of St. Rappe. At present there are 4 MOHGS who are definitely interested but everyone is invited.

The President announced that he will be absent for the next 4 weeks whilst he is on holiday in Oz. He gave his hip flask to the Chair for safekeeping during his absence and in a show of unmitigated generosity he also presented the Chair with a full bottle of Famous Grouse top up the flask when needed. The Chair accepted the gift with alacrity and announced that he would offer a tot to everyone on the first tee next week, to toast the President and wish him Bon Voyage. The President swallowed hard and gently wiped away a tear of gratitude.

The Chair informed the group that he had recently ordered a takeaway from the Manzil and that he was underwhelmed by quality of the grub. The Geezer had also recently ordered a takeaway from the same emporium and had been extremely satisfied with the comestibles. The Geezer revealed that his curry was rated with 3 chillies but the Chair refused to divulge the potency of his vegetarian concoction.

There was a question about whether or not a putt from just off the green should be counted in regard to the Geezer’s card for three putting. It was deemed that a putt from just off the green should not be counted because the shot could also be chipped onto the green. However as usual, the matter cannot be resolved without input from Mr. B.H, and he may wish to give this some thought from his sick bed.

Tee times for next week are as per.

There being no other business, the meeting closed at 1.15pm.

Burty(Hon. Sec.)

Ps. The results for those not already mentioned are as follows—–P.F(36), J.G(41), D.F(37), K.S(38)

PRESENT: F.B, P.B, P.L, T.H, C.M, J.G, D.F, T.M, K.S, P.F, B.H.

Whilst the Comp. Sec. was preparing to deliver the results, Soapy enquired about the possibility of his good friend, Noel McQueen, joining us for a game next week. Noel is a member of the Southport and Ainsdale Golf Club and a former lecturer in geology. Soapy remarked that a suitable nickname might be Rocky. The Chairman magnanimously approved this request and went on at great length about the core values of the society and in particular its sensitivity to embrace the casual visitor. Soapy was expecting a straight yes or no, so the Chairman’s eloquence left him speechless and not a little tearful.

The results were still not forthcoming and the Chair mentioned in passing that he had a rather stiff neck. Someone asked if he had been at the Viagra again. The Geezer asked if he could raise a point to which there were loud giggles and applause. Another MOHG asked if anyone had any experience of using this medication, to which Brains replied, “You can get hardened to it.”

RESULTS: There were no 2’s posted therefore £2.20 will be carried forward to next week. DoD was St Rappe with a meagre 24 points. DD’soD were the Rabbi and the Laird with 29 points apiece. The runner up was Soapy with 37 points. The winner and this week’s champine was the ever popular Soc./Fin. Sec., the Cardinal, with a massive 40 points.

The Chair remarked that there had been several gimmes given today and he expected that these  gimmes were fair and considered, by all groups.

APOLOGIES: Biggles, Jethro, Falcon and El Mat.

TOASTS: To the British Davis Cup team for their winning performance against the Yanks.

GEEZER’S CARDS:  P.B(20p), B.H(40p), P.L(40p), T.H(20p), J.G(80p), T.M(40p), P.F(20p), a total of £2.60.

LAST WEEK’S MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED AS A TRUE RECORD.

MATTER’S ARISING: Last week, the Rabbi questioned whether or not continuous putting should be allowed since he felt that this gave an unfair advantage in regard to the Geezer’s cards. The Pontiff of Protocol, the Rev. Hallett, said last week that he would think on the matter and give a judgement this week. The judgement was, that he had consulted his golfing rule book and it clearly stated that the golfer furthest from the hole should be the first to putt and should be followed by the next nearest in order of distance from the hole. Therefore continuous putting was deemed to be unlawful and the maximum penalty for disregarding the rule was disqualification. There was a universal sharp intake of breath but no one dared question the pronouncement.

Mr. McKay rather shamefacedly admitted that he had left his ” In the Bunker” card in his bag. He was gently castigated by the Geezer who drew everyone’s attention to the astronomical cost of typing and laminating. He further requested financial assistance for the production of the cards but the Chair swiftly moved on to other business.

The Chair firmly reiterated his demand from last week that people refrain from paying in shrapnel and that copper coins and 5p’s were not deemed to be coin of the realm in MOHG currency.

The Social Secretary revealed that there were now only 8 contestants for the trip to Dallmahoy. He was given the green light to make arrangements and will shortly inform the group of their financial liabilities.

Hunley Hall, Beamish and the Bridle Path away days will be bottomed out next week. The Bridle Path is available on Wednesdays and Fridays.

Hopefully tee off times are as per next week.

There being no other business, the meeting closed at 1.34pm.

Burty Kwok (Hon. Sec.)

PRESENT: P.F. T.M, B.H, J.G, F.B, D.F, C.M, P.B, P.L, K.S.

APOLOGIES: Falcon, Biggles, Jethro, El Mat.

RESULTS: There were 2×2 posted by the Executive, Soapy and St. Raggler. A pot of £3.80 was shared between the old codgers which included £1.80 from the previous week. The DoD was the Cardinal with 26 points. Kwok was DDoD with 29 points. The runner up was the Straggler with 38 points. The winner with a magnificent 42 points was the ever popular St. Rappe.

GEEZER’S CARDS: P.F(60 p), T.M(20p), B.H(20p), J.G(40p), D.F(20p), F.B(20p), P.L(40p), K.S(40p), P.B(20p)—— A total of £2.80.

There was a total of £3.40 in swears until Soapy became over excited, pointed aggressively at Strappe and was obliged to pay a 20p penalty bringing the new total to £3.60.

TOASTS: To Andy Sullivan who won the South African Open.

LAST WEEK’S MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED AS A TRUE RECORD apart from the wording relating to the playing for the CHAIRMAN’S Quaich, which should have been—-” might be possible to play on MONDAY,”——– rather than, ” if possible on a Monday.”

DALMAHOY: There was much discussion about when was the most expedient time for the visit. It was generally agreed that there would never be a time when all MOHGS would be available. The Cardinal with his usual aplomb decided to cut to the chase and declared that he would make arrangements to book the venue for May 17 and if this was not possible he would try for May 10. All participants are requested to email the Cardinal by Wednesday to register their intention to attend.

The proposed visit to Hunley Hall is to be bottomed out next week.

A.O.B: The Comp. Sec. revealed that he was willing to arrange an away day to Beamish. At the moment a round of golf plus a bowl of soup and a roll was available for £10/person. However this deal was not available on Mondays.

The Rabbi was not happy with the interpretation of the rule for 6 shots or more on a hole. He claimed that by continuously putting, a player might gain unfair advantage, by finishing first on the hole and relegating others to be last, thereby collecting the card. Mr. B. H will give the matter great thought and make a pronouncement next week.

Crocs announced that the deal at the Bridle Path was available until the end of March and that he was willing to book the venue if anyone was interested.

The tee times for next week are unchanged—— 8.48, 8.56 and 9.04.

There being no other business, the meeting closed at 1.20pm.

PRESENT: P.F, D.F, K.S, J.G, P.L, G.W, B.H, T.M, T.H.

APOLOGIES: Falcon, Straggler, Jethro, Biggles, Cardinal, Crocs.

RESULTS: There were no 2’s posted. The DoD was El Mat with 25 points. The Rabbi was DDoD with 32 points. Runners up were the Laird and St. Rappe with 36 points apiece. The winner and this weeks champine was the ever popular Geezer with 37 points. The Geezer informed the group that Mr. B.H missed a sitter of a putt on the last hole which would have given him a share of the lead. Strap with his usual good nature, laughed this off—–through gritted teeth.

FINANCES: There was £1.20 in swears. The 2’s money carried forward was £1.80. The Geezer’s cards realised a total of £2.80——– Soapy(40p), Laird(20p), Kwok(20p), Brains(60p), El Mat(40p), Strappe(60p), Geezer(20p), Mr. McKay(20p).

The President praised the Geezer for the introduction of the cards which he remarked, not only added to the conviviality of the occasion, but also increased the kitty for use in future jaunts.

T.H, J.G and G.W, offered their excuses and left early.

THE RABBI ASSUMED RESPONSIBILITY FOR CHAIRING THE MEETING.

LAST WEEK’S  MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED AS A TRUE RECORD.

DALMAHOY: Owing to the fact that St. Rappe was unable to attend the away day, there was general agreement that another date should be sought.However, this may not be possible if the Cardinal has already booked the venue. To his credit, Strappe, remarked that he was aware that there would never be a date which was suitable for everyone and that he was prepared to bite the bullet if the Cardinal had completed the booking.

QUAICH: The Comp. Sec. has devised a schedule for the competition which he will attach to the minutes. The first game should be completed by May 4 and the second round by June 15. The semi final should be played by August 24 and the final by September 28. All games should be played if possible on Mondays. The competition could begin as early as next week, depending upon the availability of contestants.

The Comp. Sec was praised for his forward thinking and planning. It was observed that he is so efficient that we should change his nickname to Nissan. The Geezer offered the name Nismo, since this is Nissan’s latest top of the range model, which his wife has recently purchased.

TOASTS: To the Geezer and his colleagues who won last week’s Senior’s Comp, by a margin of a massive 9 strokes.

To the Tigers for their second consecutive win.

Geezer’s Cards: The ever efficient Comp. Sec. has carried out an analysis of the Cards, which was requested last week by Brains. He has added columns to his already crowded data results sheet, which he hopes to update weekly.

The Geezer, rather gallantly paid 20p to allow Strappe to berate the Laird for a perceived slight.

The Laird had very eagerly imbibed Soapy’s Bovril on the 10th tee and offered his thanks to Margaret who had unselfishly prepared the mixture for her lucky spouse.

Tee times for next week are, 8.48, 8.56 and 9.04.

There being no other business, the meeting closed at 1pm.

BURT E KWOK(Hon. Sec.)

PRESENT: F.B, P.L, T.M, D.F, K.S, P.B, P.F, J.G. G.W (attended meeting, didn’t not play).

The results were delayed because the Chair announced, ” We’re lacking Brains.” Once Brains appeared, the meeting began.

RESULTS: The Laird agreed to be guest Comp. Sec. due to the absence of St. Rap. He remarked that it had been a very competitive morning with some very close results. DoD were F.B and D.F with 40 points. The winners were P.F and P.L with 44 points. T.M and P.B had 42 points, whilst J.G and K.S had 41 points. Winners h/caps to be deducted one shot and losers increased by one shot. There were 2×2’s by Soapy and the Cardinal who shared a pot of £1.60.

GEEZER’S CARDS: F.B(20p), P.B(40p), T.M(20p), P.F(40p), J.G(60p)——-£1.80.

Brains reckoned that the Geezers Cards are biased against the high h/cappers and would like an analysis of the results to prove/disprove his theory.

There was 60p in swears. The Chair reluctantly coughed up all monies which he had been holding for safekeeping during the absence of the Fin. Sec. A total of £6.60 was begrudgingly extracted.

APOLOGIES: Minto, Hallett, Evans.

LAST WEEK’S MINUTES ACCEPTED AS A TRUE RECORD OF EVENTS.

The date of the proposed away day to Dalmahoy has been changed to 10 May owing to the Soc. Sec., being involved in a competition for the Seniors in his new role as Captain on 18 May. It was deemed important that he was supported by the MOHGS in view of his recent elevated status. The President, with typical generosity of spirit proposed the change of date. He will attempt to attend the venue but will be obliged to return home early on Monday morning to attend a prior engagement. Ten members signified genuine interest in attending, with the possibility of the Kid, Snooty, Desmond and Kwok junior also turning out.

There followed the draw for the CHAIRMAN’S QUAICH.

The Cardinal v The Falcon

The Straggler—–Bye

The Geezer v Brains

The Rabbi——-Bye

Croc O’ Dile v Desmond

Jock St. Rappe—-Bye

Soapy v The Laird

Delboy v Kwok

ANY OTHER BUSINESS: The Chair remarked that he had observed that there appeared to be a sub group of MOHGS, whom he referred to as shopkeepers, because they play regularly on Wednesdays. He indicated that he felt snubbed, since he had been dropped by the group and was forced to find solace in the company of sundry others. The Laird opined that it was the Chairs own fault since he had insisted on playing later in the day.

The Chair was castigated by Kwok for telling tales and snitching on Kwok over alleged swearing misdemeanours. The Chair offered no signs of remorse and indeed paid 20p in advance before calling Kwok a ” Little turd.” Kwok responded by paying 20p in advance before telling the Chair to ” F#### off.”

Tee times next week 8.56 & 9.04. The Rabbi was thanked for booking the tee times.

BURT E KWOK (Hon. Sec)

PRESENT: P.F, K.S, D.F, J.G, T.H( left early), T.M, F.B, C.M, B.H,P.L.

APOLOGIES: Biggles, El Mat, Jethro, Cardinal, Falcon.

RESULTS: There were 2 x 2’s, both by the esteemed Laird on the 8th and 14th. He received a total of £4, including last week’s pot. DoD was Soapy with 34 points. DDoD were the Rabbi, Crocs and Mr. McKay with 39 points. On 43 points, the runners up were Strap and Brains. The winner for the second successive week was the indefatigable, affable, silver surfer, the Laird, with an incredible 46 points.

TOASTS: To the England rugby team for their win against the odds over Wales.

To Kwok’s son, Mark for gaining promotion and a move to Cambridge.

Geezer’s cards realised a total of £2.20——- B.H(20p), P.F(20p), P.L(60p), J.G(40p), K.S(40p), D.F(20p), T.H(20p). The swears money was £2. The Chair is holding the cash during the absence of the Treasurer.

LAST WEEK’S MINUTED WERE ACCEPTED AS A TRUE RECORD.

Kwok was thanked for his accurate and incisive reporting.

MATTERS ARISING: It was decided that we should put our eggs in the one basket and plump for 17 May as the preferred date for the away trip to Dalmahoy. The Chair castigated the MOHGS for their dilatory response, since only 3 people had signified an interest. He insisted that participants MUST confirm their attendance this week in order that the Cardinal can book the venue in good time.

SOAPY’S DAY: The Competition date for the Soap Dish was confirmed as June 8th. Soapy further confirmed that he would post money behind the bar for a drink for all competitors. For a brief moment it was expected that the Chair would match the President, £ for £, but the Chair categorically claimed that this would not be the case and that he would not be forking out on this occasion. Will food be available? This will be bottomed out in a future meeting. The Chair is fast approaching a significant milestone in life’s journey, his 70th birthday. It was suggested that there should be a commemorative game to celebrate this momentous occasion but the Chair was reluctant to divulge the date. This story has legs and will no doubt run.

PLEASANT MAN: Apropos nothing, the Chair produced a moth eaten letter from his pocket and gave the secretary, Kwok, leave to read its contents to the group. The letter it transpired was from the Chair’s plastic surgeon which gave him a clear bill of health, but what was surprising was his description of the Chair as a ” PLEASANT MAN.” Eyebrows were raised and it was generally agreed that there was scant evidence of this pleasantness in his demeanour on the course. It was also agreed that the surgeon was in urgent need of a refresher course since he appears to have been taken in hook, line and sinker by the wily old codger.

TIME FOR A CHANGE: It appears that the strain of high office has taken its toll on the Chair. He confessed that he is running out of steam and is looking forward to the day when he can step aside and allow a younger buck to take over the reins. Brains observed that this could be an attention seeking ploy and so the subject was left hanging.

HIGH SCORES: The Geezer remarked on the proliferation of high scores over the last couple of weeks and the difficulty of making a few bob in such a competitive school. The Chair, with typical insight, concluded that the course was much shorter at the moment, therefore good scores were there for the taking.

QUAICH: The draw for the competition for the Quaich must be made next week. The Cardinal should now be in receipt of the names and the entrance fees of all prospective competitors and is respectfully requested to produce the list at the next meeting when the draw will be conducted by St. Rappe.

There being no other business, the meeting closed at 1.15pm.

BURT (Hon. Sec.)

PRESENT: D.F, T.M, F.B, P.F, P.L, B.H, J.G, C.M, T.H( left early), K.S, E.E.

APOLOGIES: D.G, Cardinal, Falcon, Biggles and El Mat.

RESULTS: No 2’s were posted. The DoD and DDoD were Brains on 28 points and Strap on anything between 13 and 29, since he only played 12 holes on account that he slept in. The Geezer was the runner up with 40 points. The winner and riding the crest of a wave like an Australian surfer was the affable Laird with a magnificent 42 points.

TOASTS: Rory McIlroy for winning the Dubai Open.

To the Magpies for victory over Hull.

To the linesman for spotting a handball which ruled out a goal for Hull.

To all the NE football league teams who won every game this week.

To Jethro who made an appearance this week and is looking forward to a return to playing in April.

FINANCES: Due to the absence of the Fin. Sec., the Chair agreed to hold on to today’s cash. The 2’s money totalled £2. There was £1.60 in swears. The Geezer’s cards realised a total of £2.40——— Chair(60p), Crocs(20p), Geezer(20p), Strap(40p), Rabbi(40p), Laird(20p), Brains(40p). The President congratulated the Geezer for his money making idea and confessed that he had donated £1 in swears which he had only thought but never actually uttered, when his trolley took off and narrowly missed an oncoming car in the car park, prior to the game. Soapy could give Kim Sears a run for her money any day of the week.

LAST WEEK’S MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED WITH THE  FOLLOWING AMENDMENTS:

The Straggler did not pay for Snooty’s entrance fee for the Quaich. Rain check should apparently have been rain cheque.

The Chair was censured by the President for physically assaulting the Secretary with his maul and causing actual bodily harm to the head region of the unfortunate Kwok. This action may have caused the Secretary to be vague in his recollection of subsequent events, unlike his razor sharp reporting of previous minutes.

MATTER’S ARISING: The Chair appealed for urgent action to complete arrangements for the Dalmahoy trip. The preferred date was considered to be the weekend of the 17 May with the 10 May as the fallback option. All participants are requested to email the ” Reply all” section on the menu, to alert fellow MOHGS as well as  the Social Sec. who will then collate the figures and make the necessary arrangements.

Soapy thanked all the MOHGS who had played at the Bridle Path on Friday. The course was judged to be good but the bacon sandwiches took the biscuit. Crocs was thanked for organising the event and he intimated that he was willing to organise another event if there was sufficient interest.

Geezers cards: It was decided that the person who has the HIGHEST score above 6 on a hole, should receive the card and not the LAST person who scores more than 6.

There was a gentle reminder that MOHGS sweaters or polo shirts should be worn on all away days on penalty of hefty fines.

Tee times for next week are as per.

There being no other business, the meeting closed at 1.25pm.

BURT E. KWOK(Hon. Sec.)