PRESENT: P.F, P.B, T.M, F.B, B.H, P.L, K.S, D.F, C.M.

APOLS: Biggles, J.G, E.E, H.C.

RESULTS: DoD with a miserly 27 points was poor old Kwok. DDoD was the equally pathetic Francis with 29 points. The runner up with a majestic 37 points was the Croc. Winner of the week on an unassailable 39 points was the personable Soc. Sec., the ever popular Cardinal.

No 2’s were posted and T.M is beginning to wonder if he will ever see the bulk of his winnings from two weeks ago. The Cardinal promised to trawl through historic data in order to ascertain the true worth of Terry’s poke. The Chair has been pouching 2’s and swears cash for several weeks and is pleading dumb as to the actual amount he owes. The Hon. Sec. on the other hand has admitted pouching 60p in swears.

TOASTS: To little Burty Kwok in recognition of his award of the Bob Amos Trophy last week.

A retrospective toast was proposed to the Chair on the event of his 69th. birthday, last week.

LAST WEEKS MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED AS A TRUE RECORD.

There were no matters arising.

BUSINESS OF THE DAY: The Cardinal triumphantly declared that he had booked the buffet but declared with a flourish that he wiped his hands of any decision as regards the content thereof. He then produced a menu which indicated that there was a wide range of food available for varying prices. Soapy, unilaterally and unreservedly stated that money should be no object and that we should go gourmet and seek quality produce. Five savoury items per person would cost £8.50 each. Eight savoury items would be £10.50 pp. Twelve savoury items would command a massive £14.50pp. The two members of the executive seemed to be in accord throughout the meeting and the Cardinal suggested that they were angling for a sit down meal. This was swiftly denied. The Comic proposed that a spreadsheet could be designed whereupon the MOHGS could indicate their preferred culinary options. The Hon. Sec declared that he would personally take responsibility for this task.

The Croc was concerned that the dart board had gone missing from the snooker room and he and the Kid enjoyed the thrill of darting at the party. The Chair declared that an approach should be made to the appropriate authority, to establish the whereabouts of the board and to request its re-erection. Terry immediately declared that he would sort the problem. He left the room, established contact with the appropriate authority and returned within minutes, to report that the dart board had indeed been mislaid after recent refurbishment but he was on the case and would not rest until a resolution to the problem was found. The Chair who is renowned for prevarication, was startled by the swift action of Terry and warmly commended his initiative. This action drew a round of applause from the congregation who are not used to immediate resolutions and were expecting the dart board problem to run for several weeks.

St. Rappe proposed that we look at the possibility of obtaining Velcro darts which we could aim at each other if the excitement levels were dipping.

It was decided that the dress code for the party should be the MOHGS sweater and shirt, although Brains could still come dressed as Elvis if he felt the urge.

CHAIRMAN’S QUAICH: The Chair revealed his Quaich, to much jocularity by the boys. He posed the question as to what he should do with it. Titter titter. Should there be a match play competition? The Cardinal suggested that this could be problematic and proposed a one off competition on the first occasion that the white tees become available. T.M offered to organise a match play if this was the desired option. The Chair pondered and then packed his Quaich away and declared that we needed more time to consider the dilemma.

The Chair has suspended his son Noel from all MOHG activity for a period of two weeks after it came to light that Noel’s wife had likened the MOHGS to the cast of Dads Army. No doubt she perceived her father-in-law as  the incontinent Private Godfrey or even the bumbling Corporal Jones but either way, the Chair wanted to send out a clear message that he was not willing to have the good name of the MOHGS besmirched.

The Chair was reprimanded for not using his maul at all meeting, since it was the ideal tool for keeping good order.

More of the polo shirts were distributed.

The Croc declared that all nicknames should be bottomed out at the AGM. Soapy urged T.M to consider his options and come up with a few ideas for a name.

The Chair enquired of the Treasurer as to what if any subsidy would be available for the Christmas festivities. The Cardinal assured him that he would give it some thought.

Mr. B.H and Mr. A.M are representing the MOHGS in this year’s Movember appeal. The Cardinal assured everyone that donations could be made on line or in person if preferred.

Tee off times next week will be 48, 56 & 04, thanks to the continual diligence of the Rabbi.

MEETING CLOSED AT 1.30.

BURT(Hon. Sec.)

PRESENT: P.F, R.H, F.B, D.F, J.G, G.W, T.M, K.S, P.L. Davie G. walked the course.

APOLOGIES: P.B, Biggles, Jethro, C.M.

RESULTS: The Comic was DoD with 25 points. DDoD was El Matador with 27 points. The runner up with 37 points was T.M. The winner on 39 points was the ever popular Rabbi. One 2 was posted by T.M who pouched £1.80 from today’s contributions but who is entitled to a further shed load of cash which is being held by the Cardinal and the Straggler.

TOASTS: To those who lost their lives in the Great Wars.

To NU who recorded their 5th. win on the bounce.

To Gateshead and Blyth Spartans for victories in the FA Cup.

LAST WEEK’S MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED AS A TRUE RECORD.

MATTERS ARISING: Thanks were extended to Delboy for providing the polo shirts on such reasonable terms. All recipients admitted that they were very pleased with the merchandise.

Mr. D.F is not actually in Oz, as last week’s minutes suggested.

BUSINESS OF THE DAY: T.M apologised for missing out on the Christmas party, since he will be travelling to Jamaica on vacation.

J.G will be unavailable next week.

Jocks announced that C.M should be available on Wednesday.

Kwok took charge of this week’s swear money, 60p.

The tees are booked for their usual times next Monday.

There being no other business, the meeting closed at 12.50.

BURTY KWOK ( Hon. Sec.)

PRESENT: K.S, G.W, P.L, P.F, F.B, B.H, T.M.

APOLOGIES: Jethro, the Comic, Brains, Biggles, Crocs and the Falcon.

RESULTS: No 2’s were posted. On 26 points, the DoD was Kwok. DDoD was St. Rappe with 32 points. Runners up with 34 points apiece were T.M, F.B and P.L. The winner with a more than creditable 36 points was the ever popular El Matador. The Chair was fined 50p for not wearing his MOHGS sweater. He was reluctant to pay since he claimed to be wearing a MOHG polo shirt and insisted that this was permissible. There was much shaking of heads and mutterings until the Chair broke the ice and cut through the knot by admitting that he wasn’t actually wearing a MOHG polo shirt and that his prevarication was indeed a sham to save himself from paying the 50p fine. He laughed rather sheepishly before declaring that it was time to move on. He pouched £1.50 in swears and fines and £1.40 in 2’s cash to be carried forward.

TOASTS: To Newcastle United for a fine victory over Liverpool which continues a 4 match unbeaten run.

To Jethro, to wish him a speedy recovery from the broken leg which he suffered during a recent visit to Centre Parcs.

To Biggles, who is beginning 3 weeks of rehab after cruciate knee ligament problems.

To poor old Acker Bilk who is now a stranger on the shore in Heaven.

To Terry Minett who retired last week and played his first game with the MOHGS today.

Last week’s minutes were accepted as a true record.

MATTER’S ARISING: The Bowling Day which was scheduled for Friday will now be deferred until early next year, since D.F was unfortunately compelled to fly to Oz at short notice.

The Chair was proud to announce the arrival of the polo shirts. He then rather manfully delved into a large box and began to distribute the shirts to their respective recipients. Much joy filled the room. The cost of the shirts was a very modest £20 plus VAT, which came in at £24.

The away day to the Bridal Path is on hold until the return of Crocs, who is absent with a bad back, temporarily. As one wag put it, ” Crocs is crocked!”

BUSINESS OF THE DAY: St. Rappe was clean shaven on November 1st and is only just beginning to show tiny bristles on his upper lip.

The Chair was anxious about the bar staying open for a lock in on the day of the Christmas Party. He announced that there would have to be negotiation with the new bar manager. Terry Minett jumped immediately into the breach and received an affirmative nod from Charlene, the recently installed bar lady. The meeting ended at this point on a relatively happy note at 1.30.

Tees are booked for next week at 8.48, 8.56 and 9.04.

BURT ( Hon. Sec.)

PRESENT: P.F, H.C, F.B, R.H, C.M, P.L, GW, K.S.

APOLS: Biggles, D.F, P.B, J.G.

RESULTS: Today’s competition was a four ball better ball. The joint DoD’s were Crocs and the Matador and the Falcon and St. Rappe on 35 points. The Rabbi and Soapy were runner’s up with 36 points. The winners with a creditable 39 points were the Straggler and Kwok. There were no 2’s. The chair pouched £1.60 in 2’s cash and £1 in swears, to be carried forward.

TOASTS: To N.U.F.C for their fine win against Spurs and to Sami Ameobi for a terrific goal.

To Andy Murray for a gutsy win at the Valencia Open.

To Gateshead for winning through to the first round proper of the F. A Cup.

To the Comp. Sec who took the barbs and slings with his customary dignity in the Movember massacre.

To the two old rockers who parted company with the world last week, namely, Alvin Stardust and Jack Bruce.

BUSINESS: The Chair, with a tear very close to the corner of his eye and a noticeable catch in his voice announced that he had no alternative other than to resign his post, although he did wish to remain as part of the executive in the light of his previous unblemished record and unselfish devotion to duty. The meeting came quickly to order and enquiries came from every quarter to discover the source of the Chair’s chagrin. Apparently, Mrs. B. Had been surfing the airways and had discovered an email from Crocs to the Comp. Sec. which she perceived, impugned the integrity of her husband and erstwhile hero. She imparted the news to the shaken Chair and implored him to a) kick ass, b) seek retribution, and c) spend more time with her in the garden.

Crocs explained that the whole affair had been blown out of proportion and with respect to Mrs. B. he further explained that the message was totally innocent and in no way denigrated the Chair. The President attempted to alleviate the strained atmosphere by declaring that the Straggler was the best Chair we ever had and the Comp Sec. was ditto. The Chair reluctantly withdrew his resignation but warned that he was tiring of constant criticism and his patience was running thin.

BOWLS: The bowling day is intended as a pre Christmas party, party. The favoured date is Friday 7th. Nov., at the indoor bowling facility at West Denton, near the Fire Station. It was decided that the bowls would be followed by drinks and an injun. Vince had been contacted by Crocs and intimated that he would like to go if family circumstances permitted. Those who wished to attend were: C.M, P.F, F.B, R.H, V.P, P.L, D.F and G.W.

POLO SHIRTS: The shirts will be officially and personally handed over to the Chair next Monday.

The Bridal Path at Gosforth was mooted as a venue for the next away day. Crocs will make enquiries since he lives close by.

The Movember charity is for prostate cancer and the MOHGS have two candidates in the form of Jocks and the Kid. Biggles and Noel B are other possible candidates. All upper lips must be bristle free until Nov. 1st.

THE CHRISTMAS PARTY DATE IS 15 DECEMBER N.B. N.B. N.B.

The Chair was confident that the Cardinal would negotiate a good deal with the caterers.

Changes of nicknames and new nicknames will only be contemplated at the AGM.

Tees are booked for next week.

There being no other business, the meeting closed at 1.35pm.

BURT KWOK( Hon. Sec.)

PRESENT:  D.F, E.E, R.H, F.B, C.M, P.L ,N.B, H.C, K.S.

APOLOGIES : G.W & J.G. Both had to leave before the discussions

RESULTS :

Duffer : Brains [J.G.]  points 24 rev. H’cp. 32.

Deputy Duffers The Straggler [F.B.] and The Falcon [H.C.] with 27 points. Rev. H’cps 10 and 20

No 2s posted therefore £2.20 carried forward.

Runner up – Soapy [K.S.] with a creditable 38 points. Rev. H’cp. 23

Winner with an excellent 40 points was Noel from the Southern Branch [N.B.] (n.n.n.y. – needs rectifying -suggestions at the Xmas party)  Rev. H’cp. 12 Congrats on this fine effort.

TOASTS: Toasts were offered to the late  Lynda Bellingham and the folorn supporters of Sunderland F.C.

BUSINESS :

Notes from Beamish accepted

Text from Del Boy confirming polo shirts are available . Chair to organise delivery.

Whitley Bay postponed once again until next year.

Soapy suggested alternative unplayed venues be considered. Parklands was mooted  with reports of good playing conditions. Also the Bridle Path which had a mixed response.

Joint Indoor bowls \ early Xmas Party event to accommodate the Comic to be held in November. The Comic will propose some dates – probably a Friday.

Crocs stated that the Kid had entered this year’s Movember charity event and was looking for further volunteers together with donations. It was agreed that all monies generated by the event on the last Monday in October would be donated. The comic noted that a photo of Jocks with a ‘tache had been spyed at Beamish Park. Jocks said he would attempt  a regrowth for the benefit of the charity.

The chair took charge of the £2.20 2s and £0.60 swears money to be handed over next week.

Rabbi confirmed the tee times had been booked for next Monday.

Jock St Rappe

Comp, Sec.

PRESENT:  P.B, D.F, E.E, R.H, F.B, J.G, P.L, K.S.

APOLOGIES : P,F, H.C, C.M, G.W.

RESULTS :

Singles : Duffer of the Day wax the Straggler with a paltry 18 points and Deputy Duffer was Jethro with  23 points. In 2nd place with 31 points was the Comic and the winner with an excellent score of 39 points was the Rabbi.

Pairs : The Rabbi\Comic partnership score of 47 points was excluded under the one prize rule. Duffers were team Straggler\Cardinal with 31 points and the joint winners with 38 points were teams Brains \Jethro and Jocks\Soapy.

Handicap adjustments : The Cardinal bullied Jocks into including handicap adjustments for both the Singles and pairs competitions therefore the revised handicaps are :- F.B:9   P.B:19  D.F:14  J.G:30  R.H:13  P.L:15  K.S:24

No 2s posted therefore £5.00 carried forward. Best elegible points totals on par 5s and par 3s were posted by K.S; F.B. and P.B.

Toast to Jocks for organising the event which he humbly accepted adding that although the sums are correct he seems to have made a small profit and requested that if anyone thought they had been short changed should inform the Comp Sec. The usual sympathy will be offered,

Chair confirmed the Mohgs shirts with revised specifications will be available for Whitley Bay.

Rabbi confirmed that the tee times had been booked one slot later for next Monday 20th October at Morpeth G.C. to accommodate the morning gloom.  Also sends his apologies.

Jock St Rappe

Comp, Sec.

PRESENT: D.F, B.H, P.L, J.G, P.B, J.B, F.B, P.F, A.M, C.M.

RESULTS: There were no 2’s posted. The DoD with a meagre 18 points was Kwok. Joint DD’soD were the Straggler and the Kid with 26 points. The runner up with 37 points was the Rabi. The winner with a majestic 39 points was the ever popular Cardinal. In the 5’s and 3’s competition, in second place was Crocs. The winner was Delboy. The team event was won by the Comic, the Cardinal and the Rabi. The individual winner was presented with the Hunley Hall trophy which was generously donated by the ever affable Brains. The Cardinal was suitably humble in his acceptance speech as he clutched the trophy with pride and delight.

Originally there was supposed to be two days of competition, however due to the inclement weather it was impossible to complete the second day of play. It is worthy of note that three members of the fraternity attempted to play on the Monday, namely, Brains, Cardinal and Comic, but they were forced by the severity of the gale to return, bedraggled, to the clubhouse after completing only 2 holes.

The esteemed Comp. Sec has decided to complete the competition, possibly next week on the away day to Beamish.

Hunley continues to provide a warm welcome for the MOHGS and will no doubt continue to do so in the future.

BURT KWOK ( Hon. Sec.)

PRESENT: P.F, F.B, P.B, K.S, R.H, E.E, D.F, C.M,J.G.

APOLS: Rabi, Biggles, Falcon, Matador.

RESULTS: There was one 2 by the Comic on the 17th. DoD was the Comic with 26 points. The Cardinal was DDoD with 28 points. Jock St. Rappe was the runner up with 35 points. The joint winners were Jethro and Soapy with 38 points apiece. £1.40 was collected in swears.

TOASTS: A rather controversial toast was proposed by the Chair to congratulate Yorkshire on winning the County Championship. Apparently the Chair had tried to force this toast through last week but had no support. This week he had the support of the President who has long been a fan of the cricket team.

The Ryder Cup team were congratulated for their great achievement in retaining the trophy. The Comic singled out McIlroy and McDowell for special praise. McGinley was praised for his managerial skills.

LAST WEEK’S MINUTES ACCEPTED AS A TRUE RECORD.

MATTERS ARISING: St. Rappe reported that the Beamish course was now up to standard and he proposed an away day on 13th October. Nine MOHGS signified their interest in attending for a 10.30 K.O. At this point, Soapy asked Rappe for clarification. St. Rappe suggested that Soapy should turn up the volume on his hearing aid. Soapy replied that he had the hearing aid at top volume and that it was St. Rappe’s diction and articulation that was at fault, since his new teeth were not properly broken in. A rather chastened St. Rappe with perfect diction revealed that he would pre order a buggy for himself and the Soapster. However Soapy will be unavailable due to a prior commitment.

Absent MOHGS should email Jocks by Friday if they wish to attend.

There has been no progress on the bowling day.

BUSINESS OF THE DAY: The first tee off time for Hunley, next Sunday, is 1.26. Competitors are requested to be there at midday. The game on Monday will k.o at 10.30. Brains has kindly donated a trophy which will be presented to the player with the best score over the two days. Jock has sorted out the format for the two days of feverish competition which can be accessed through last week’s minutes. The Chair informed the group that the polo shirts would not be available for the Hunley trip.

Crocs offered to bring along the bottle of Whisky which he won in the Christmas draw. The Cardinal revealed that the swear box would make a contribution to the après golf celebrations.

Brains reminded the group that next Monday is the first MONDAY of the month, therefore MOHG sweaters should be worn.

CHRISTMAS PARTY: The Cardinal reiterated that he would take no part in organising the buffet. Kwok quickly asserted that he would not be responsible for a quiz. The Chair intimated that he may negotiate with the caterers for a buffet for £7.50 per person, which he felt was a reasonable cost for a culinary festive feast. Snooker and table tennis would be on offer after the food. The golf contest will be 11 holes, using three clubs and a putter.

AOB: The Chair announced that the polo shirts will be available shortly.

There is no point in booking tee times at Morpeth next Monday, since no one is intending to play.

There being no other business, the meeting closed at 1.30.

BURT E. KWOK( Hon. Sec.)

PRESENT:  P.B, D.F, E.E, R.H, F.B, C.M, J.G, H.C.

APOLOGIES : P.L, P.F, K.S

RESULTS : 2s – Team Straggler [F.B.] \ Falcon [H.C.] at 17th share £1.60

Duffer –  Team Crocs [C.M.]\Brains[J.G.] with 34 points. Each receives a handicap increase of 1

Joint Winners –  Team Cardinal[P.B.]\Jocks[R.H.] & The Straggler [F.B.]\The Falcon [H.C.]  with 37 points. Each receives a  handicap reduction of 1.

Note: No runner up prize in accordance with the rules when there is multiple team winners

TOASTS: The Viper [V.P] on his 65th birthday; Durham C.C. On their win in the tin pot one day cup event [though a toast to Yorkshire C C on their win in the main event – the 1st Div. Championship was refused]. Del Boy [J.B.] on winning Captains day and had not been toasted a few weeks earlier.

LAST WEEKS NOTES : Accepted

BUSINESS: SWEARS : C.M. £1.00; P.B. £1.00; D,F, £0.20; E.E. £0.20; H.C. £0.60

HUNLEY HALL : Draw made [attached] for the 9 confirmed attendees by Jethro [E.E.] for the two rounds at the Hunley Hall overnighter.

BEAMISH AWAY DAY: Jocks to investigate an away day at BPGC after the Hunley Hall trip. Preferred days – Mon\Tues\Fri.

BOWLS DAY: No further progress. The Comic will check possibilities for tuesdays and fridays.

CHRISTMAS PARTY : Nothing to report.

POLO SHIRTS: Chairman Straggler confirmed that they would be received before the Hunley Hall Trip [5th October]

RULES: Do the current rules state that 2s must be putt out. Answer – No it is up to the  playing partners to decide hopefully with integrety as to whether or not a putt is given.

TEE TIMES next Monday : 8.40, 8.48, 8.56. Apols from H.C. Subject to confirmation by the Chair.

Jock St Rappe

Hunley Hall

PRESENT:  J.G, R.H,  C.M, E.E. F.B, P.B, D.F, P.L.

APOLOGIES : P.F, K.S, G.W, A.L, H.C.

RESULTS : One 2 posted by Crocs [C.M.] on the 4th  who shares the 2s pot and roll over of £5.40 with his playing partner Jethro [E.E.]

Team Duffer of the day – Crocs and Jethro with 33 points – H’cp. Increased to 10 and 35

Team Winners – The Straggler [F.B.] and the Rabbi [P.L.] with a respectable 39 points  – H’cps. reduced to 6 and 18

TOASTS: Lucy Jessica who weighed in at 8lb 11oz.- a welcome addition to the Clark family [David our club Pro and his wife Jo].The Comic who won the individual prize and the betterball prize along side the Rabbi in the club away day extravaganza at Richmond.

LAST WEEKS NOTES : Accepted

BUSINESS: SWEARS : R.H. £.20 J.G. £0.20 C.M. £0.40 P.B £0.20 – a total of £1.00 handed to the treasurer.

HUNLEY HALL : Possibility of additional entries from the southern branch if rooms are available so the the draw for partners is delayed until next Monday.

Post card received by the Cardinal from “Soapy in the Southern Hemisphere” which he read out and passed around the assembled company for their gratification and it was agreed that the photography and libretto was worthy of incorporation in the Mohgs Blog site. Also an emaill had been recieved fro Burt Kwok expounding the virtues of his journey across the US of A.

MOHGS BLOG : Contributions to the Mohgs blog site required. The Cardinal will send the aforementioned post card from Soapy. The address for your contributions is www.mohgs.com

BOWLS DAY: Too late in the season for out door bowls but there is a possibility of indoor bowls at Denton before December when the Comic our bowls master goes to Oz. The Comic will investigate and report back.

CHRISTMAS PARTY : Good reports recieved for  aBBQ type buffet from Crocs and also the steak dinner presented at the Seniors Past captain’s Dinner from the Rabbi.

TEE TIMES next Monday : 8.40, 8.48, 8.56. Apols from P.L.

Jock St Rappe