PRESENT: F.B, A.W, P.B, P.L, P.F, T.H, C.M, D.F, M.C, B.Y, K.S.

APOLOGIES: From all not previously mentioned.

RESULTS: Today’s RESULTS were delivered by the Laird. There were no 2’s posted, therefore £2.20 is added to the previous pots which means that the next recipient will pouch £6.60 plus the day’s takings. DoD with a miserable 21 points was a rather dejected Soapy. DDoD’s with 32 points apiece were the Prof and Winker. Bumper was runner up with 38 points. The winner and today’s champine was the ever popular Laird with a magnificent 40 points.

Other scores—- C.M–33, P.B–34, T.H–33, F.B–35, P.L–37, P.F–33.

TOASTS: To the Murray boys who have ended the year on top of their respective piles.

To N.U who continued their winning run and remain in top spot by a considerable margin.

To Matthew Fitzpatrick who won the Dubai Open.

GEEZERS CARDS: D.F(20p), B.Y(40p), K.S(20p), P.L(20p), P.F(20p), M.C(20p), T.H(20p).—–£1.60.

FINANCE: The Cardinal has taken stock of the money in hand and reported that he was at present in receipt of £134.40, excluding today’s takings. He then announced that he had decided to bankroll the Christmas party with a generous, some may say foolhardy, donation of £100. The money will more than likely go behind the bar to finance festive drinks. The Cardinal was thanked for this contribution and for his canny stewardship of the MOHGS finances.

LAST WEEKS MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED.

BUSINESS: The Chair was absent from last week’s meeting and was somewhat perplexed at the lack of progress on the Party preparations.

“Gentlemen,” he began. “There is no more time for prevarication, innuendo, riddles or cliches. The time for action is nigh. No more beating round the bush. We must take the bull by the horns, grasp the nettle and cut without hesitation through the Gordian knot.”

The air was heavy with expectation as the members settled down to listen to his definitive plans for the much anticipated event.

However, at this point the Chair slumped back into his seat and with a twinkle in his eye, reserved the right to keep his powder dry.

It was left to others to make some sort of progress on this thorny topic. The options were once again laid out.

1. To stay in the clubhouse and have a meal served by the caterers.
2. To stay in the clubhouse and enjoy a shared table.
3. To stay in the clubhouse for drinks and then go for an injun.

After a short discussion it was decided to rule out option No. 1.

Winker announced that his wine club regularly met in the Vardon Suite and had always provided a shared table, with no input from the caterers. This suggestion was in line with option 2.

Questions still hanging in the air:

1. Who makes what if option 2 prevails?

2.Is there an Injun available at a time of our choosing on the party day if we plunge for option 3?

There was a definite feeling that we had indeed made excellent progress and it was now just a case of dotting i’s and crossing t’s. However there is much work to be done and the Chair is the man to do it. He must hold his nerve, continue to plough the furrows and with a favourable breeze will no doubt come out of all of this, smelling of roses and looking back to reminisce on yet another successful year in office.

The meeting began to fragment at this point and much of the focus was lost when the Chair began to show very cute pictures of his latest grandchild.

The Rabbi has time to announce that the times had changed slightly for next week—8.48, 8.56, 9.04 and 9.12..

The meeting closed very agreeably at 1.40pm.

BURT.

PRESENT: M.M, P.L, G.A, G.W, D.F, T.M, K.S, B.H, P.F, M.C, J.G.

Apologies for next week from G.A and G.W.

RESULTS: No 2’s posted therefore the kitty transfers to next week which could be a double rollover. DoD was Winscale with a paltry 26 hard won points. DDoD was El Mat with 29 points. Shagpile was the runner up with 36 points. The overall winner with a magnificent 38 points was the ever popular Laird.

FINANCE: GEEZERS CARDS—— G.A(20p), G.W(20p), M.M(20p), T.M(40p), M.C(40p), K.S(60p), B.H(20p), J.G(40p)—£2.60. £2.20 was carried forward in 2’s and a further £1.40 was collected in swears. The Rabbi is the holder of the dosh.

TOASTS: To all the victorious home Nations who succeeded in the qualifiers for the World Cup.

To the Prof and Kwok who won last week’s Seniors comp with a magnificent haul of 50 points. To a lesser extent congratulations were also due to Brains and the Laird who were 3rd in the same event.

To the Scottish R.L team which drew with the current world champions.

To the England R.U team which beat S. Africa.

LAST WEEKS MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED IN THEIR ENTIRETY.

There were no MATTERS arising since it was decided to keep our powder dry until the next meeting when it will be finally time to bottom out the definitive arrangements for the annual Christmas Party.

Today’s meeting was ably chaired by the Rabbi.

Tee times next week are as per.

BURT.

PRESENT: F.B, K.S, P.L, G.W, J.G, T.H, P.F, D.F, C.M, B.Y, M.M.

RESULTS: No 2’s carded therefore £2.20 is carried forward. DoD was Shagpile with 22 points. DD’soD were Rabbi, Kwok and El Mat with 23 points apiece. The runner up with 27 points was the Scuttler. The winner for a fantastic third week on the trot was the rejuvenated and ever popular President with a magnificent 28 glorious points. It must also be recorded that the going was extremely tough with frequent showers and low temperatures. Only 15 holes were played.

GEEZERS CARDS: F.B(20p), K.S(60p), P.L(60p), D.F(20p), P.F(20p), G.W(20p), M.M(20p)—–£2.20.

£3.20 was collected in swears. Crocs and Shagpile were fined 50p apiece for not wearing MOHGS gear on the first Monday of the month. All money is in the safekeeping of the Rabbi, a total of £8.60.

TOASTS: To Andy Murray, the first British player ever to be world No. 1.

LAST WEEKS MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED.

BUSINESS:

* There are still tickets available for the Mark Clattenburg soirée at £20/head on 17 Nov. The Chair intimated that he would attend and will secure tickets to sit with the Metcalfe party. The dress code is smart but casual.

* The Chair announced, with steely determination that there was no more time for prevarication, the time for direct action was nigh and it was the moment to grasp the nettle, cut through the Gordian knot and make final preparations for the biggest event in the social calendar, the Christmas Party. There was huge admiration and expectation in the air as the gathering awaited with baited breath, the Chairs plan for the festive tomfoolery. ” Gentlemen!” he barked with great authority, ” We must at all costs keep our powder dry and not make any hasty decisions which we may live to regret.” There was a collective sigh of disbelief as the Chair relaxed and flashed a satisfied grin to the members and reclined in his seat. In less stentorian tones he then explained that St. Rappe had approached Charlene and had used his immense charm to persuade her to keep the bar open after normal working hours on party day. He further explained that the present caterers usually downed tools at the same time as when the bar closed and therefore would be technically unavailable to provide food, which would then allow us the opportunity to have a shared table. This covert operation has now taken on the hallmarks of a Brian Rix farce.

At this point in the proceedings the Rabbi slipped away, unnoticed, to make enquiries of his own. He returned with the news that he had spoken to a very senior dignitary who informed him that the present caterers may not even be in situ at the time of the party, therefore we had his blessing to carry on regardless. The Rabbi was thanked warmly for his contribution.

The President spoke forcefully about the need to support the club, through our contribution to the bar takings.

The Chair once again pointed out the need for keeping our powder dry and playing cards close to chests and emphasised that we were indeed moving in the right direction.

Crocs revealed that in his opinion we should, in the light of our present predicament, have begun discussion about the party much earlier in the year and furthermore he insisted that it may be necessary to begin planning now for next year’s event.

Brains with his usual aplomb announced that procrastination is the thief of time.

On that note, the meeting began to fragment and the boy’s were looking increasingly frazzled after making so many momentous decisions in one sitting.

* Shagpile revealed that he had recently played at Craigie Law and had stayed overnight. He had nothing but praise for the accommodation, the food, the course and the all round ambience and he thoroughly recommended it to the members. His direct assessment was that it was ” Fantastically awesome.”

Tee times are as per next week.

The meeting closed at 1.25pm.

BURT

PRESENT: B.Y, B.H, P.B(n/p), P.F, E.E, G.W, D.F, A.L, K.S, J.G, M.C, F.B, A.W, G.A, C.M.

RESULTS: 2×2’s were carded by the Matador and Crocs. DoD with a miserly 24 points was the unfortunate Brains. DDoD with an equally unimpressive 25 points was the Laird. The runner up after an extensive and rewarding coaching session was El President with a magnificent 38 points. The overall winner, champine of the week, was the ever popular Jock St. Rappe with a memorable 42 incredible points.

FINANCE: £4 was collected in swears. Geezers Cards—– D.F(40p), B.Y(40p), F.B(40p), G.W(20p), G.A(20p), P.L(20p), A.L(40p), J.G(20p), P.F(20p), EE(60p), C.M(20p), M.C(20p),

TOASTS: To Andy Murray who won the Viennese Open and is on schedule to becoming the world no. 1.

Last weeks minutes were accepted.

MATTERS ARISING: The meeting accepted the fact that poor Lord Snooty had been thoroughly misrepresented by his father (the Chair), in that he had merely intimated that the golf event hosted by Lee Westwood might be a goer for those MOHGS who were interested. The membership furthermore apologised for any hurt incurred by Lord Snooty and will in future regard any information volunteered by the Chair, with a huge pinch of salt.

* The Fourball at Foxton had been taken up by B.H, D.F, P.L and Brian and they had experienced a thoroughly good time.

BUSINESS:

The Christmas Party is set for 12 December but the issue of food/dining is far from straightforward. There are doubts over whether or not the caterers will be available to provide the requisite banquet, whether to revert to the shared table, or to jog into Morpeth for an injun. The simple answer to some of the imponderables would be for a representative to make representation to the caterers to enquire about availability. This appears to be a bridge too far and no one is willing to take up the cudgels. Biggles has been round the world twice since his last game with the MOHGS, and remembers suggesting then, that someone should approach the caterers. The Chair proposed a belated toast to Biggles for all his contributions towards world peace. However there is still no resolution and the sands of time are running out.

* Some proposals for the party were, quiz, pool, table tennis, dominoes and snooker.

* Newcastle are due to play Hull in the next round of the cup competition. B.H volunteered the information for anyone who might be interested in attending, however C.M was sceptical as to whether tickets would be available.

The meeting began to fragment. There was no Jokers Corner and no further business so the meeting was brought to a merciful end at 1.45.

BURT.

PRESENT: B.H, F.B, K.S, E.E, T.H, P.L, G.W, P.F, C.M, D.F, B,Y(n/p). A.W(left early).

RESULTS: One 2 was posted by the Laird (£2.20). DoD was the unfortunate Rabbi with a meagre 21 points. DDoD was Crocs with a slightly better score of 22 points. The runner up with a very respectable 36 points was Jethro. Joint winners with 37 points apiece were the ever popular Soapy and El Mat.

Jock Strap very graciously offered to buy a whisky for any member who was absent last week, to celebrate his victory in the Quaich competition. Several members accepted his kind invitation.

TOASTS: To the England cricket team who defeated Bangladesh.

Padraig Harrington for his victory in a European competition.

Burt Kwok who was in the group which came a very respectable second in last week’s Seniors comp.

FINANCE: Geezers cards: P.L(20p), T.H(20p), G.W(20p), P.F(40p), C.M(20p), D.F(20p), F.B(40p), B.H(20p), E.E(40p), K.S(20p).——£2.60. £1.90 was collected in swears. A grand total of £4.50 in the safekeeping of the Rabbi.

The Chair, at the behest of Lord Snooty, proposed a trip to Close House next October to witness a tournament to be hosted by Lee Westwood. There was only a lukewarm reception given to his suggestion but there may be more interest nearer the time.

The Crocodile was in receipt of a voucher for a half price Fourball round at Foxton, to be used by the end of this month. D.F and P.L signified an interest in playing.

The meeting closed at 1.45pm.

BURT.

PRESENT: D.F( n/p), T.M, F.B, M.M, T.H, P.F, K.S, C.M, P.L, J.G.

RESULTS: Presented by D.F due to the absence of B.H. No 2’s were posted, therefore £1.80 is carried forward. DoD was Soapy with a meagre 25 points. DDoD’s were the Straggler and the Scuttler with 27 points apiece. Kwok was the runner up with 33 points. The outright winner and Champine of the day was the colourful and indefatigable Geezer with 34 points.

FINANCE: £1.80 was collected in 2’s. Geezers cards —-F.B(40p), M.M(20p), K.S(80p), P.F(60p), J.G(60p)——£2.60 in total. This amount was added to previous week’s takings for swears and GC’s of £12.40. The total is therefore £16.80.

TOASTS: To the Laird upon his return from holiday only to find that his house had been flooded and remedial action is required.

To the Rabbi and Scuttler who were a well deserved second in last week’s Senior’s Comp.

To Tyrell Hatton who won the Dunhill Links.

To Andy Murray who won the China Open.

LAST WEEKS MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED IN THEIR ENTIRETY.

MATTERS ARISING:

* The game at Bedlington tomorrow has been marred by the withdrawal of a sizeable group for many different reasons. Shagpile is now reduced to 10 players, which is both disappointing and embarrassing, considering the amount of time and effort he has invested in organising the event. The playing contingent are requested to convene at the clubhouse at 9.15 for introductions and to digest the rules of the comp. Breakfast snacks will be available.

* The Chair will consider organising the Executive Cup, which is akin to the rules of the Ryder Cup, on a date when 12 players are available on a particular Monday morning.

* Following on from the proposal that we adopt a new feature of a Jokers Corner into the Monday meetings, the Chair became the inaugural joke teller. He told a joke about a young girl having a bath. At face value, this seems about as funny as a Trump Convention, but in the hands of the maestro it was received warmly and to great applause.

* OTHER SCORES: C.M– 29, P.L—30, J.G—29, M.M—31.

There being no other business, the meeting closed at 1.20.

KWOK.

PRESENT: P.F, M.M, B.H, F.B, C.M, J.G, T.M, T.H, P.L. The President arrived in time to hear the results, fresh from his trip down under, looking fit and relaxed and in possession of a new and trendy looking hat.

RESULTS: Today’s comp. was played off the white tees since it is the first game of the month. DoD was Jocks with a miserly 23 points. DDoD was the Scuttler with a slightly better score of 24 points. The Straggler was runner up with 31 points. The winner and champine of the week was the indefatigable Shaggers with 33 points. 2×2’s were posted by Crocs and Shaggers who each received the magnificent sum of £3.70, which includes money carried over from previous weeks.

FINANCE: £3.20 was collected in swears and £2.80 in Geezers Cards—-J.G(80p), B.H(60p), C.M(20p), P.F(20p), M.M(20p), F.B(40p), T.H(40p).

TOASTS: To the jet lagged President who returned hotfoot from Oz and was warmly welcomed back to the fold by the over effusive Chair.

Thomas Pieters the Ryder rookie who performed manfully in the competition.

To Bobby Jocks who won last week’s Senior’s competition but tried to hide his light under a bushel.

LAST WEEKS MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED.

MATTERS ARISING:

* Shagpile is formulating his team for the match v Bedlington, at Bedlington next Tuesday. The definites at present are—– M.M, P.F, B.H, G.A, F.B, J.G, P.L, C.M, T.M, K.S, D.F. The captain awaits news from B.Y, T.H and V.P, who expressed an interest in playing. The cost of the junket will be £15/person. Breakfasts will be available if required. The rules of play will be decided on the day after consultation with the Bedlington crew. K.O is expected to be 10am on the dot.

* Biggles sent goodwill greeting from his latest posting in Malaysia.

* No further progress on Craigie Law. A possible jaunt to Carlisle will be put on hold until next year.

* The Caterers are reported to be leaving within the next 6 months if not sooner. This news leaves the door open for the possibility of a shared meal at the Christmas Party. More to follow on this vital subject.

* The Chair and the Scuttler were in deep discussion throughout today’s round, about the possibility of playing a competition using the Ryder Cup format. The idea is in the embryonic stage, but was welcomed by the group as a possible contender. The game would include foursomes, four balls and singles within the same round. It was not deemed to be a goer on party day, since custom dictates that the format is 3 clubs and a putter over 12 holes. However further discussion on this subject is eagerly anticipated. It was suggested that the teams could be captained by the Chair and the President. It was provisionally decided that such a match could be played on 7 Nov.

The meeting closed at 1.35pm

Burt Kwok.

PRESENT: G.A, P.L, P.F, C.M, J.G, A.B-W, F.B, M.M, E.E.

RESULTS: There were no 2’s carded therefore £1.80 will be carried forward along with the previous two weeks worth of 2’s cash. DoD was poor old Kwok with 26 points. DDoD was the Rabbi with 27 points. The Chair was the unfortunate runner up with 35 points. Joint winners were Crocs and Shagpile with 36 points apiece. Other scores were Brains–33, Shotgun—32, Jethro—32, Windscale—29.

FINANCE: Geezers cards—£2.60, Swears—-£4. In the safekeeping of the Rabbi.

Kwok and Jethro were welcomed back to the fold after their hols by the gracious Chair.

TOASTS: To Arnold Palmer RIP, who was remembered not only for his golfing prowess but also for his warm personality and generous donations to charity.

To Rory McIlroy who won the FedEx trophy as well as the tour championship and the £11 million odd quid which accompanied the titles.

The Minutes for last week were accepted.

MATTERS ARISING: Brains revealed that the seat which had disappeared from the 18th hole was being repaired and will no doubt reappear shortly.

AWAY DAYS: Crocs will continue to enquire about Craigie Law but had nothing of worth to report.

Shagpile knew of a good venue near Carlisle which would he recommended as a possible location for an away day.

*The away day at Bedligton is set for Tuesday, 11th October at 10am for a maximum of 12 members. Eight of the members present today registered an interest in playing. Other  interested parties should contact Shagpile ASAP.

* The Chair, in an unmitigated display of generosity, informed the group that he was in receipt of a voucher for four people to play at Bedlington which he was willing to donate in order to offset the cost of the game.

* No progress was made on the venue for the Christmas Party.

* Shagpile reported that tickets are on sale this weekend only, for a three course meal in the company of Mark Clattenburg for the price of £20 per head at the Clubhouse. Only 100 tickets are available.

*P.L asked people to inform him if they are unavailable for matches on Wednesdays.

There being no further business, the meeting closed at 1.25.

Kwok.

Apologies from all those not here.

Present:- PB, CM, JG, RH, FB, GA, DF, TM, PL,A.BW.GW.

Competition Results;

No twos posted so £2.20 carried forward to next week together with £1.60 from 5 Sept.

Duffer of the Day was The Geezer with 23 points. Deputy Duffer was The Matador with 26 points.

In joint second place were The Chair, The Laird, Winscale, and Crocs with 34 points, however the winner and champ for the week was Jocks with a magnificent 37 points. A truly wonderful exhibition of chipping and putting!

Handicaps to be adjusted as per the rules of MOHGS.

The Laird won the outstanding (timewise not quality) Quaich semi-final and will proceed into a final against Jocks. To be arranged quickly.

Geezers Cards were in play;

A total of £2.80 collected.

Swears made £2.60p.

Tee times booked for next week.

Toasts to ? Sinclair for keeping his tour card for next year.

The Matador proposed that the MOHGS purchase a new seat for the 18^th green. Much discussion ensued with erudite contributions from The Laird (Could the MOHGS make a seat?), The Geezer (We would be depriving bereaved family from buying a seat in memory of a loved one), The Cardinal (We could build one out of broken tees!?) Jocks seconded the proposal but it was defeated by the Chairs casting vote twice!

The Christmas Party was discussed briefly. The message being that we should support the club, but as The Chair pointed out we do support the club all year round not just at Christmas!!

Shagpile has arranged a game against Bedlington at Bedlington on Tuesday 11 October. Those wishing to play please advise Shaggers to enable him to select his best side.

Jocks pointed out that the last Monday in October was Halloween, maybe some outgoing MOHGs would want to dress up. Others were already scary enough.

AGM/Presentation day to be first Monday in 2017.

The Cardinal announce a prolonged absence because of a visit to USA. He may be back for ‘Trick or Treat’ on 31 October. With that in mind he passed the Two’s money and the Quaich winning to one of the finalists, Jocks.

The meeting disintegrated at 1.30pm.

PRESENT: B.Y, A.B-W, J.G, C.M, P.F, K.S, T.H, M.M.

Today’s competition was a four ball better ball, played off the white tees. Due to the absence of the Chair and the Comp. Sec., the substitute officers were Soapy and Brains respectively.

RESULTS: The D’soD were Shagpile and Soapy with 29 points. DD’oD as well as runners up were Kwok and the Scuttler with 35 points. Joint winners were Brains & Crocs and Shotgun & the Prof with 36 points per couple. The winners all lose a shot and the losers gain a shot.

FINANCE: £2 was collected in swears and the 2’s cash, £1.60, will roll over, since there were no winners today.

TOASTS: To the England cricket team which won the one day series and to the football team which narrowly defeated Slovakia.

AWAY DAYS: Shagpile has been working tirelessly behind the scenes to organise a game at Bedlington. However, to date he has been unsuccessful in his endeavours. Undaunted, he will continue to sound out his old friends and is confident that a game will be forthcoming in the very near future.

The trip to Tyneside is on the back burner until the Cardinal returns.

APOLOGIES: Kwok will not be available for the next two weeks, Rabbi please note.

There being no further business the meeting closed at 1.25pm.

KWOK (Clerk).