PRESENT: P.B, F.B, K.S, A.B-W, M.M, P.F, C.M, A.M, J.G, G.A, P.L, B.Y, B.H.

The President, rather  gallantly distributed a very good quality box of mints which had been donated for the occasion by his daughter in law with the inscription “Grumpy old Gits mints.” The members were then regaled with a glass of hot punch which hit the spot and set the scene for more Christmas hilarity. The President revealed that he had shared a Christmas flask of whisky with the Comp. Sec. during their round of golf and he was now 3 sheets to the wind.

RESULTS: There was one 2 by Brains on the FIRST hole. Yes I said the FIRST HOLE. DoD was the Kid with 20 points. I said 20. DDoD was the Cardinal with 21 points. Runner up was the Prof with 28 points. The winner of the Christmas Plate with a grand total of 29 points was the indefatigable and ever popular Shotgun.

The President presented the Plate to Shotgun. He then presented the Quaiche to Jocks and the Chalice to Crocs. Crocs was the Golfer of the Year, with the best eclectic score of the year.

All trophies were in pristine condition, save for the Plate, which in the opinion of Tommy Cassidy had been maltreated. The twat.

THE MINUTES OF LAST YEARS AGM WERE ACCEPTED AS A TRUE RECORD.

MATTERS ARISING: The President was keen to know when the Whitley Bay trip would be organised. The Chair again kept his powder dry.

STATEMENT BY THE CHAIR: The Chairman named and thanked all the officers of the society for their continued pursuit of excellence. He hailed Brains for his new initiative in compiling a diary of events. Shagpile indicated that he would be prepared to continue the good work of diary secretary next year. He also welcomed the new members- Shaggers, Winker, Winscales, Paxo and Shotgun. He spoke warmly about the away days and thanked the organisers. He thought that we should look northwards for future away days and bemoaned the fact that we were unable to visit Hunley Hall this year. He insisted that he would personally ensure that we visit Whitley Bay next year. He finished his speech with a toast to Her Majesty which has now become an annual ritual and end to his musings.

FINANCIAL REPORT: The Fin. Sec. declared with a flourish that today’s meal would be paid for from the contents of the swear box. He was delighted to report that swearing had increased exponentially and the Geezers cards had also swelled the kitty. He further reported hat there was a reasonable reserve of £80 in the box. It was decided that due to the extremely healthy financial situation, we would donate £25 towards the cost of the bar refurbishment.

COMP. SEC. REPORT: There were 52 competitions this year. The Rabbi was top attender    with 45 tournaments under his belt. B. Kwok was the most successful contestant with 9 wins and 3 runners up places to his credit. Crocs had the most 2’s, followed by the Laird. Crocs was the eclectic champ with an average win/game, including 2’s, of £1.79.

He listed the away days and reported that all venues and outcomes had been very enjoyable in different ways. He listed the winners of all events and the paper copy of his musings is available for inspection c/o the Hon. Sec. One event of note was the inaugural competition for the Chair’s Quaiche which was won by the Comp. Sec. himself.

The Comp. sec. congratulated all winners and reflected that the year had been memorable and enjoyable. He was pleased with the h/cap system.

The best Comp. Sec. we have ever had, finished his statement with a veritable bombshell by announcing that this would be his last year in post and that next year he intended to step aside and allow a new member to take over the reins.

ELECTION OF OFFICERS FOR 2016: All current officers were re-elected en bloc for the 2016 season.

TOASTS: To Colin Montgomery, Jamie Donaldson, Blyth Spartans, NUFC and all our absent friends.

The meeting closed at 3.05 and the Yuletide festivities began.

BURT E. KWOK(Hon. Sec.)

PRESENT: P.L, P.B, B.H, C.M, J.G, B.Y, F.B, K.S, P.F. — M.M attended meeting but did not play.

APOLOGIES: To all absent friends especially the Laird, the Geezer and Winker, who are all on long haul flights to far flung regions.

RESULTS: There were 2×2’s by the Straggler and Crocs. DoD was the unfortunate Cardinal with an almost respectable 30 points. DDoD was the Rabbi, with 33 points. The runner up on 40 points was Brains. The winner for the second consecutive week with 44 points was the indomitable Kwok, whose h/cap descends to its lowest ever point of 16, and now puts him in range of the big guns of the sport.

FINANCES: Crocs and Kwok were awarded £1.20 each which was due to them for last week’s 2’s comp. The Rabbi handed over £4.10 to the Treasurer which had been in safekeeping since last week. There was £2.60 in swears. The Fin. Sec, revealed that he is willing to subsidise next week’s Christmas party to the tune of £100. This news was greeted warmly by the members.

TOASTS: To all absent friends.

To the Kid and Crocs who successfully predicted the correct score and the scorers of the Newcastle v Liverpool match.

To the Comp. Sec. who won £4 from his Beamish buddies on the outcome of the same match.

CHRISTMAS PARTY: Some doubt was expressed as to whether or not, next week was THE Christmas Party. The President was in no doubt and assured the throng that his mince pies and mulled wine would be available to add a festive touch. The AGM agenda was accepted, as presented recently by the admirable Kwok. The Soc. Sec. declared with a flourish that chicken curry, nan bread and poppadoms would be available. A straw poll revealed that at least 9 people were committed. The Chair kept his powder dry.

The President was keen to have a New Year party when the boys are back in town.

The Rabbi has booked the tee for 10am next week.

The competition will be for the Christmas plate, using 3 clubs and putter over a shortened course, which may be dependent on weather conditions.

LAST WEEKS MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED. —- No matters arising.

EVENTS DIARY: Brains proposed that the MOHGS should give serious thought to drawing up an events diary for 2016. There was broad agreement that this was a top idea but that a certain amount of effort and dedication was needed to get the project up and running. After a deal of good natured banter, Brains agreed that since it was his idea, he was willing to begin compiling a diary but stressed that he didn’t envisage that this would be a permanent position and that others would be willing to take up the cudgels in subsequent years. Brains was given a gentleman’s agreement that this would indeed be the case.

AOB: The Crocodile revisited the thorny old debate about the damaged Christmas Plate, which for the last year has been in the safekeeping of Kwok, the current holder. Kwok declared emphatically that the trophy was in perfect condition when he passed it on to Crocs, who then delivered it for engraving to the former footballer Tommy Cassidy. Tommy C. informed Crocs that in his opinion someone had been chucking the Plate around like a frisbee and occasioned damage on the revered trophy. Apropos nothing, the Chair jumped in with both feet and declared that he was 99% convinced that Kwok was guilty of inflicting the damage. Kwok scoured the flint faced looks of his colleagues for some sign of solace or sympathy but none was forthcoming until the fair minded Cardinal suggested that it could possibly have been damaged whilst in transit from Crocs to Cassidy. Crocs shook his head in violent rebuttal and insisted that Kwok was the perpetrator of the monstrous act of desecration. The kangaroo court appeared to have made its decision. Kwok was hung out to dry.

NEWBIGGIN: Shagpile has made arrangements for a game on 18 Jan. The cost will be £12/person for a round of golf and a bacon sandwich, starting at 10am. He will be looking for definite numbers in the new year.

MORE AOB: The Chairman’s Quaiche and the desecrated Plate will be presented at the AGM.

Burt E. Kwok (Hon. Sec.)

PRESENT: B.Y, F.B, C.M, P.L, P.F, D.F.

Conditions were diabolical and the outlook was bleak but 6 brave souls turned for what  resulted in a truncated game of only 15 holes. The adverse weather conditions finally forced the gallant participants to forego a full round.

Apologies: All our absent friends.

RESULTS: Presented by the Laird. There were 2 x 2’s carded by Kwok and Crocs. DoD with 19 points was the Prof. DDoD was the Laird with 31 points. Crocs was runner up with 34 points. The outright winner with a magnificent 36 points was the indomitable Kwok. Other scores were,F.B—32, P.L—33.

FINANCES: The Laird, who will shortly embark on a 6 week holiday to Oz, admitted to holding £3.70 in swears and Geezer’s cards, which he promptly delivered to the safekeeping of the Rabbi. The President is owed 50p of this cash for a 2 which he scored recently but for which he was not paid.

TOASTS: To team GB for their recent victory in the Davis Cup.

To Jamie Vardy for his record of scoring in the last 11 premiership games.

To Tyson Fury for defeating a Klitchco on his way to the world heavyweight title.

LAST WEEKS MINUTES ACCEPTED AS A TRUE RECORD.

There were no matters arising.

CHRISTMAS PLATE: The Crocodile reported that there had been some damage to the Christmas Plate, whilst in the possession of the current holder, Kwok. Kwok denied all knowledge of the damage and furthermore, swore to the fact that it was in good nick when he handed it over to the Croc. One of life’s little mysteries? Or is there something more sinister afoot?

Christmas Party: The Rabbi will attempt to book the tee on 14 Dec. as near to 10am as possible.

The Chair at this point, wished Bon voyage to all the members who will shortly embark on their festive holidays, many to far flung places. He also remarked that there had been a very disappointing turnout for today’s game especially considering that today was the original date for the Christmas Party.

The President and Jethro arrived at this juncture but unfortunately the meeting had run out of legs and the Chair called time at 12.30.

BURT E. KWOK(Hon. Sec.)

PRESENT: D.F, P.B, A.W, P.F, F.B, C.M, K.S, G.A, P.L, J.G, J.P, B.Y.

APOLOGIES: T.M, B.H, G.W, E.E, H.C.

Winker and Winscales will be absent for the next several weeks.

RESULTS: The results were delivered by the caretaker Comp. Sec., Mr. D.F. There were no 2’s carded therefore £2.40 is carried forward. DoD was the Straggler with 28 points. DDoD was Soapy with 29 points. Paxo was the runner up with 37 points. The winner with a magnificent 41 points was Winker Watson. Other scores were: P.B-34, D.F-36, P.F-32, J.G-30, P.L-31, C.M-32, B.Y-32, G.A-36.

TOASTS: To Rory McIlroy who won the Race to Dubai.

To David Givens who is in hospital preparing for a double hernia operation.

LAST WEEKS MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED AS A TRUE RECORD.

There was really only one topic today, which was the date of the AGM. It was decided by a majority decision to change the date of Soapy’s Yuletide bash, from 21st to the 14th of Dec. Brains pointed out that this was historically the approximate date of previous parties. The AGM will be held on the same date. Soapy will provide the mince pies and appropriate accompaniments. There will be unbridled jollifications and competitions. The Chair expected the event to kick off at 10ish with 11 holes of golf using 3 clubs and a putter. In inclement weather, the party will go ahead and the AGM will take place. Kwok is the current holder of the Christmas Plate and will hand it over to Crocs on Wed., for engraving. The Cardinal volunteered to ask the caterers if they would include curry on the menu on the 14th.

FINANCE: The Fin. Sec. Reported that there could be up to £100 in subsidies for the party, depending upon the number of members who attended.

The 21 Dec. will  now be just an ordinary Monday, with all members at Liberty to attend.

There being no further business, the meeting closed at 1.25.

BURT (Hon. Sec.)

The largesse of the Chairman is fast becoming the stuff of legend. He not only provided a bottle of honeyed rum, which was imbibed on the first and tenth tee, but he also insisted on buying a round for all present on our return to the clubhouse. He further insisted on leaving an open tab behind the bar for those who wished for extra sustenance, which as it happened, turned out to be just about everybody. This Open House policy of unmitigated generosity is embodied by the Chair and is a lesson in selflessness to all members. Long may the Chair reign and hearty congratulations on reaching the milestone of your 70th. birthday.

PRESENT: M.M, P.F, A.B-W, F.B, B.H, P.L, K.S, D.F, C.M. ( G.W came for the meeting but was a non combatant).

APOLOGIES: P.B, J.G, T.M, A.L.

APOLOGIES FOR NEXT WEEK: G.W, B.H, M.M, A.B-W.

RESULTS: Today’s game was a Texas Scramble. One 2 was posted by Crocs, Soapy and the Laird. D’s o D were the Straggler, Jocks and the Rabbi with 66.6 points. The winners were Shagpile, Shotgun and Kwok with 61.4 points. The other result was Crocs, Soapy and the Laird with 62.6 points.

TOASTS: To the Chair who was 70 very recently.

To the England R.L team, who defeated New Zealand.

To Karen, the Saga rep, who donated today’s tot of rum.

LAST WEEKS MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED AS A TRUE RECORD.

MATTERS ARISING: It now appears that a good number of MOHGS will be unavailable for the Christmas Party on 30th November, either on holiday or upholding H.M Justice system. G.W, A. B-W, B.H, C.M, M.M, will be unavoidably absent. The Chair was quite rightly perplexed by the large number of prospective absentees and asked for reflection and further consideration of the whole Christmas extravaganza.

The Laird was quick to propose that Christmas be cancelled this year.

St. Rappe was in favour of cancellation and proposed a New Year festival of golf as an option.

The wise and wily old president who had henceforth kept his powder dry, proposed that the tournament for the Christmas trophy be played for on the Monday before Christmas. He further proposed that he would supply mince pies, appropriate accompaniments and jollifications.

At this point in the meeting whilst the membership attempted to come to terms with the enormity of the aforesaid proposals, the Chair noticed that drinks were becoming dangerously low and insisted on providing top ups all round. The Hon. Sec. was seconded to take orders and dispatch the drinks to their grateful recipients. The Chair was once again toasted and lauded.

The Laird suggested that no deal could be done without the nod from the Soc. Sec.

The decision to play for the trophy accompanied by Soapy’s mince pies was overwhelmingly agreed by a vote of 9 for and 1 against.

Shagpile will need to know the number of members who are interested in playing at Newbiggin.

There is no date as yet for the proposed game at NUGC. It appears that there are at least 6 willing participants.

R.H proposed that the Geezers cards should include a water hazard card.

AOB: The President was in receipt of correspondence from Barney Rubble and the Rouble Rousers from Ainsdale. It appears that they have booked accommodation at Matfen on Sunday 8 May and intend to play at Morpeth on the 9th. Soapy has already booked tee times. There could be up to 14 of them. B.H was confident that there were more than enough MOHGS to combat the Rubble gang. The Chair somewhat sheepishly declared that he would be unavailable, since it was his wedding anniversary and he would be spending the time with his sons playing golf at St. Andrews.

B.H proposed that Soapy should be Captain on the day of the visit. This proposal was unanimously carried.

The Chair informed the group that the MOHGS Blog has been taken down by Lord Snooty since it has been under used since its inception. It now floats aimlessly in cyber space.

There was no further business, so the meeting closed at 1.45.

Tee times as per next week.

BURT(Hon. Sec.)

PRESENT: B.H, C.M, M.M, P.F, A.W, J.G, P.L, G.A.

APOLOGIES: D.F, F.B, A.L.

Alan Watson (Winker) was welcomed to today’s meeting.

F.B was airborne on his return from holiday, therefore P.F became acting Chair as well as continuing with the onerous task of scribing.

RESULTS: No 2’s were posted. Today’s comp. was 4 ball better ball which was conducted under extremely windy conditions. The D’soD were P.L, G.A, J.G and A.W on 19 points. The runners up were Crocs and Jocks with 22 points. The winners were Kwok and Shagpile with 24 points. Only 12 holes were played due to the inclement weather. Conditions were harsh but on the plus side, all combatants finished with rosy cheeks.

TOASTS: To Russell Knox who became the first Scotsman to win a World Championship in golf.

LAST WEEKS MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED AS A TRUE RECORD.

MATTERS ARISING: Mr. Robert HALLETT announced that he has been called up for Jury Service over a period which includes the date for the forthcoming Christmas party. Apparently there are several other people who have now discovered that they are also unavailable. This fact prompted some members to question whether the date for the party could be changed or whether the date is indeed set in stone. It was decided to resolve the problem at the next meeting when more members might be present.

The Geezer arrived at this point and revealed that a bad back was the reason for his absence from today’s game.

The Geezer announced that he had given thought to preparing explanations for his cards, but had discovered that this was not as easy as he first thought and would require reams of paper to provide detailed answers. He is now looking at producing graphics to explain the pertinent facts and this also will be time consuming. He may have more news next week. He did concede that the 6 or more card should be replaced with a double bogey card or go to the golfer who does not complete the hole.

AOB: The Fourball at NUGC will be discussed next week.

Shagpile gallantly offered to organise a game at Newbiggin during the month of January, when the Morpeth course is more likely to be closed due to bad weather. He hopes to negotiate a reasonable fee which would include a bacon buttie. He hopes to persuade a group of members from NGC to compete against the MOHGS in a friendly competition.

The Geezer asked if the MOHGS were following the ‘ RIGG RULE.’ He felt that balls should be played from the tops of Riggs but not nearer to the hole. The rules at present appear to state the the ball should be moved no more than a club length from the bottom of the RIGG, which is often not sufficient distance to reach the top and therefore leave the golfer on a downward slope or in a worse position. It was decided that the MOHGS would play from the top of the Riggs but no nearer the hole.

The Rabbi thanked the Strap for booking the tees next week. First tee time is 8.40.

Due to today’s early finish, the meeting closed at 12.20.

KWOK(Hon. Sec.)

Apologies from everyone who was not present.

Nine hardy souls ventured forth to the course and were rewarded with a lovely day. The golf took second place to the camaraderie, wit and repartee.

One two was recorded and the spoils pocketed by Shagpile

Duffer of the day was Jethro

Deputy Duffers were the ever popular Cardinal and Crocs.

In second place and sharing £3 were Rabbi, Geezer, and Strags (The Chair)

But the winner and overall Champ for the week was the brains of the outfit, Brains.

Geezers Cards were recorded

Chair 20p, Geezer 20p, Rabbi 20p, Cardinal 40p, Crocs 60p, Laird 20p, Jethro 40p, Shagpile 20p.

Crocs and Cardinal both contributed £1 to the swears box! Was that a reflection of the company or the golf!

Toasts to Shagpile for winning the Club Competition last Saturday and upholding the golfing prowess of MOHGS.

Justin Rose for winning the HK Open and upholding the prowess of MOHGS (Is an honorary member?)

Louis Hamilton for winning his third world championship.

Little further was discussed, since Christmas has been brought forward, the agreed date for our Christmas Party is 30 November. The Cardinal has been charged with arranging a suitable meal in the clubhouse. Please let him know if you wish to attend.

Apologies for next week.

The Chair, Cardinal, Jethro, Shagpile.

Meeting closed on a convivial note.

PRESENT: The Chairman, Jockstrap, The Viper, The Rabbi, The Crocodile, Paxo, Brains, The Geezer, The Laird, Shotgun, Shagpile, Soapy

APOLOGIES: Windscale, The Falcon, The Cardinal, Jethro, The Professor, and then the Chair, who had previously seemed greatly burdened by the cares of office, suddenly energised proceedings by adding apologies for “The London Branch, future members not yet inducted, Uncle Thomas Cobley Esq. and all”. It was a remarkable tribute to the restorative powers of a well known Irish beverage.

RESULTS: There were two 2’s, by The Rabbi and The Laird, each pocketing £1.20p.

The format of play was ‘yellow ball’ in teams of 3, best 2 to count.

Duffers of the Day were two teams, each scoring 68 points. Jocks, Crocs and the Viper formed the first, and Paxo, Brains and Shotgun the other. Hence half the total field will have their MOHGS handicaps increased in one fell swoop.

Runners up were The Rabbi, The Geezer and Soapy with 73 points, each earning £1, and each to be docked 1 stroke.

The noble winners were The Straggler, The Laird and Shagpile with 77 points, winning £3 each, and up for the big chop of 2 strokes.

Swears totalled £2.60p, and the Geezer’s Cards £3.00p ( FB 20p, A B-W 40p, BH 20p, VP 40p, PL 20p, CM 20p, JG 40p, TM 20p, DF 40p, MM 40p).

TOASTS: to Howard Kendall, deceased gentleman footballer and former schoolmate of The Chair, to Andy Sullivan who won the Portuguese Open, to The Viper on his most welcome return to the links, to the Celtic rugby nations for their brave and unlucky efforts in the World Cup, to Adil Rashid and Alistair Cook for their personal play in the Test v. Pakistan, and to Georginio Wijnaldum for his 4 goals in the Magpies long awaited and welcome victory.

MINUTES AND MATTERS ARISING: the minutes were accepted, being notable for confusion on the date for the Christmas Party.

With his usual skilful swordsmanship. the Chair cut the Gordian Knot, and quickly got a unanimous vote for Monday 30th November, to be definitely our Yuletide Celebration.

Soapy proposed an Indian excursion on a subsequent Monday, and Paxo added that we may need hotting up in January. This was received with warmth, for further planning.

Soapy then offered Presidential mince pies for all who will be at the clubhouse meeting closest to Christmas Day, once again to general acclamation.

THE CHAIRMAN’S BIRTHDAY: the great day is 8th November, a Sunday. The Chairman will be absent on the 9th, since he is away for romance. As an afterthought he referred to family celebrations.

RAVENSWORTH: with his characteristic modesty the Chair moved a vote of thanks to the Geezer, for securing (with one other who shall not be named) two free rounds for 4 at Ravensworth next Tuesday. Seven of those present put their names forward, and transport was organised. The Geezer will confirm starting times to attendees (FB, DF, PL, ABW, BH, KS and TM + one other).

OTHER MATTERS: The Rabbi has approached the caterers about curry for the Christmas Party.

There was some debate about partnerships in the next Senior competitions on Wednesdays.

Jockstrap sought views on team formats for MOHGS competitions; after discussion the Chair summarised that whilst our usual Mondays should be singles or better ball, there was a place for variants, and a 3 man Texas Scramble was generally welcomed.

TEE TIMES: The Rabbi confirmed that tees were booked as usual next Monday. He will be away and needs a deputy to book for 9th November – Jockstrap manfully stepped in.

FUTURE ABSENCES: Paxo and Soapy gave their apologies for next Monday.

SHUT DOWN: The Chair closed the Meeting and the Swear Box at 1.32 pm, pungently and strongly.

PRESENT: B.H, G.A, K.S (Left early), T.M, P.L, P.F, D.F, J.G, B.Y, F.B, C.M, J.P.

APOLOGIES: E.E, G.W, A.L, P.B, H.C, A.B-W, M.M. G.A will be absent for the next two weeks.

RESULTS: There were 2×2’s posted by the Geezer and Windscales. The D’s o D were the Laird, Soapy and Windscales on 26 points. DD’o D were Brains and the Rabbi with 28 points apiece. On 34 points, the runners up were the Prof and Kwoks. The overall winner with a magnificent 36 points was Paxo.

FINANCES: £3.00 was collected in swears.

TOASTS: To the President for his faultless organisation of the Southport trip.

To Matthew Fitzpatrick who won the British Masters.

To the Australian defenders who were resolute in their efforts to thwart the Welsh forwards with only 13 men at their disposal.

To the brave Ebola nurse who is still in grave danger.

To Leeds Rhinos who won everything except the Grand National.

To the home nations national rugby teams who succeeded in going through to the next round of the rugby World Cup.

To the Home Nations national football teams who were victorious in the last round of European qualification.

LAST WEEKS MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED.

MATTERS ARISING: The Comp. Sec. was alarmed to discover that there was no 2’s money collected last week. He reminded the group that a MOHGS meeting is quorate if 5 members are present, therefore the 2’s should have been collected. Last week’s protagonists held their heads in shame, but the damage was done for all to see, which made the humiliation more unpalatable.

SOUTHPORT GATHERING: The Chair reported that he is still smarting after the humiliating defeat by the Southport mob, whom he described as a bunch of old men. He further described the defeat as a total debacle. The Comp. Sec. whilst not cock a hoop about the result, reported that the course and the company were superb and he had thoroughly enjoyed the whole trip. The Southport gang are looking forward to a return match possibly on the May Bank holiday.

CHRISTMAS PARTY: The Chair called for urgent action to decide on the date of the party in light of the fact that both the Laird and Geezer will be unavailable after 7 December. Kwok proposed the 1 December as a propitious time when all members could be present. The Laird seconded the proposal and it sailed through, unanimously.

At this time, the Chair disappeared ostensibly to the bar and was never seen again. This gave the opportunity to make real progress whilst the cat was away. The Rabbi enquired of the catering staff if it would be possible to provide a curry selection for the Christmas Party. The answer was in the affirmative. A vote was taken and again there was a unanimous decision to hold the party at the clubhouse. Brains was happy and relieved that he would not have to travel into Morpeth for the festivities, since the last time this occurred he had near death experience when he was inadvertently knocked into the middle of the busy main road by a slightly inebriated Kwok. It was agreed that a trip into town after the golf might have the effect of fragmenting the group. There would be no option of party activities such as darts and doms, and the club would profit from unusually high bar takings.

The Chair was still absent at this point and the Laird who had been called upon as stand in Chair, called the meeting to a close at 1.35. The Rabbi reminded the group that next week tee times will begin at 8.40, until 9.04.

BURT ( Hon. Sec.)

PRESENT: Shagpile, El Mat, Geezer, Prof, Kwok.

RESULTS: DoD was the Geezer with 25 points. DDoD was Kwok with 32 points. The runner up was Shagpile with 34 points. The winner with 37 points was the resilient Prof. Other scores were El Mat with 33 points.

APOLOGIES: Jethro will be absent for the next three weeks. Many of the MOHGS were at Formby this weekend for the Soapy away game.

Unfortunately the weather today turned rather nasty and the contestants returned to the clubhouse like drowned rats, so the meeting was short and sweet.

BURT ( Hon. Sec. )

NOTES ON SOAPY TRIP TO FORMBY HALL / SOUTHPORT & AINSDALE No minutes were taken on this venture so I have taken it upon myself to write a few notes which I hope will give a flavour of the trip to Lancashire.

Day 1 : Formby Hall G.C.

A singles stableford competition was organised under the rules of Mohgs with a few extras.

PRESENT: Soapy [K.S.] The Straggler [F.B.] Crocs [C.M.] The Kid [A.M.] The Rabbi [P.L.] Jockstrap [R.H.] Bluewatch [S.H.] Delboy [J.B.] Shotgun [A.B-W.] The Laird [D.F.] Paxo [J.P.]

RESULTS: Duffer of the Day was the Rabbi with a derisory 7 points [yes 7!!] and the Deputy Duffer was The Straggler with 20 points. Second in the individual stableford competition was Jockstrap with 33 points and congratulations to the winner – Shotgun for his outstanding effort in compiling 35 points on  a totally strange course. Their handicaps are adjusted as the attached latest Results Records to be used in the next Mohgs competition.  One 2 was posted by F.B. on the 190 yard 13th and pouches the 2s kitty of £3.00. Most points at the par 3s was shared by F.B. S.H. K.. D.F. & J.P who shared the £5 pot and The Kid won the par 5s pot of £5 with 8 points. Soapy who had prior knowledge of the rigours of Formby Hall G.C. had kindly donated special prizes for negotiating or not the numerous lakes, ponds and other water hazards featured on the course and the winners were for the most times in the water [4] Crocs & Shotgun who were each presented with replica ducks one of which aptly looked remarkably like a Croc and the winners for the least times in the water [0] were The Laird and Bluewatch who each were presented with a special golf ball.

REPORTS: The general consensus of opinion was that the course was very good and the accommodation and catering was excellent. Sometime was spent in the “19th” bar imbibing in favourite cocktails and can report that ther ewas no outstanding unsavoury behaviour though I felt that ther was some borderline cases. It was suggested that the absence of Kwok contributed to the conservatism but would not wish to comment. The weather on the sunday turned out to be commendable though those of us at the back had to complete the round in what might be best be described as “twilight” due in part to the fact that it had taken 5 hours to complete the round. However  do not let this detract from what turned out to be a wonderful beginning to our outing and ataste of things to come at Southport & Ainsdale.

Day 2 : Southport & Ainsdale G.C.

Today’s competition was to be a match between Soapy’s friends from S&A and the Mohgs of Morpeth. The match would be played on a 4 ball betterball matchplay basis and the winners would of course be the team winning the most matches. As there were eleven Mohgs attending Noel McQueen [a.k.a. Barney Rubble] who has dual nationality being a member of S&A and a Mohg  offered to play for the Mohgs in order that we could have six 4 balls and of course this kind offer was accepted by Soapy on behalf of the said Mohgs.

All the Mohgs were looking forward to playing these famous old links shared with  Hillside and Royal Birkdale Golf Clubs and  I believe from comments after the game we were far from being disappointed. Once again we were lucky with the weather having arrived under dark clouds and wet weather but it pretty much cleared up by the time we teed off. The course was a excellent test of golf even off the “yellows” and with true greens, fine tees and typical links fairways the test was to try and keep away from the gorse, heather and deep deep bunkers!! I would describe the course as outstanding as were the facilities in the club house.

Our match myself and Paxo against Dave [Hartley] and Tony [Francis] was an amiable but competetive affair mainly due to Paxo’s prowess on our side. Our hosts were very friendly and informative regarding the course and indeed some of the history of S&A. I gather that similar experiences were recieved by the other Mohgs.

Alas despite Jim’s [Paxo] valiant efforts and my lack of form in the end we sadly lost our match on the 18th which contributed to an overall victory for those interested to S&A by 4 matches to 1 with 1 halved.

The gathering in the club house after the match was highlighted by a friendly welcoming speech to the guests by Noel who along with Soapy appeared to be the organiser in chief and  within his speech did announce the result in I might add a most humane manner.

Soapy responded to Noel & the S&A congratulating them on their victory and thanking them for their support and excellent hospitality. He also presented a suitably etched trophy he has donated  for the match and any future match that may happen between the two parties. It has been mooted that S&A may come to the north east next year possibly over the weekend of the 1st May Bank Holiday which will incorporate a match versus the Mohgs.

In conclusion I would say that this sojourn has been a resounding success I for for one would like to offer my heartfelt thanks to Soapy for all the work and effort he has donated to make it so.

Jock St Rappe

Comp. Sec.