PRESENT: T.M, P.L, D.F, C.M, H.C, P.F, J.G, F.B( Left before the meeting started).

F.B and P.L played in the Chairman’s Quaich and P.L was the winner 3 & 2. Last week, P.F beat K.S 2 & 1 in the same competition.

APOLOGIES: P.B, B.H, A.L, G.W.

RESULTS: There were 2×2 by the Laird and the Falcon. £1.60 was shared. DoD was Crocs with 25 points. DDoD were Kwok, Falcon, Brains and the Geezer on 27 points apiece. The runner up was the Straggler with 29 points. Joint winners of the day with a fine score of 31 points apiece were the irrepressible Laird and Rabi.

FINANCE: Kwok was fined 50p for not wearing the correct mufti. £1.80 in swears. Kwok is holding the Stragglers poke of £1.80.

GEEZERS CARDS: J.G(40p), C.M(20p), D.F(20p), P.L(40p), T.M(60p), P.F(40p)——£2.20. P.L took charge of all the cash, a total of £4.50.

TOASTS: To Leona McGuire who was runner up in the ladies European Tour.

To the England ladies football team who beat the Germans in their World Cup game.

LAST WEEK’S MINUTES ACCEPTED AS A TRUE RECORD.

BUSINESS: The Laird is still working on the bowls match which will be on Tues./Thurs. at the end of July or beginning of August.

Shagpile may be back from holiday in time to play in the DD game v Beamish which would bring the team up to the full complement of 12.

P.L has booked the tees for next week. F.B will be absent. P.B and D.F will be playing for the Seniors team.

CHRISTMAS PARTY: Brains enquired as to whether Mrs. P.B might like to tender for the MOHGS Christmas Party after the success of her magnificent spread on Captains Day. It was also suggested that Mrs P.L might chip in with a few of her delicious and memorable pies, the thought of which drew salivating memories from the boys.

There being no other business, the meeting closed at 1.10. Mr P.L chaired today’s meeting after the Straggler, rather mysteriously absconded.

BURT( Hon. Sec.)

PRESENT: F.B, P.L, G.W, M.M, P.B, P.R, C.M, J.G, P.F, D.F, T.M.

APOLOGIES: B.H, H.C, A.L, K.S.

A warm welcome today to P.B’s brother in law P.R.

RESULTS: There was one 2 by the Geezer, who scooped a pot of £4.20 which included a carry over from last week. DoD was the Laird with 28 points. Shagpile was DDoD with 30 points. the runners up were Brains and the Rabi with 38 points apiece. The winner with a very creditable 39 points was the ever popular Kwok.

TOASTS: To the English ladies football team on reaching the semi final of the World Cup.

To Chris Paisley who came a creditable third in the BMW German Open.

GEEZERS CARDS: F.B(20p), M.M(60p), G.W(40p), P.B(20p), T.M(20p), P.R(40p), C.M(40p), J.G(20p).——–£2.60.

LAST WEEK’S MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED AS A TRUE RECORD. THERE WERE NO MATTERS ARISING.

BUSINESS: The Chair has been pondering long and hard over the dress code for Captain’s Day on Wednesday. He felt that it would be in order, to show support and solidarity with the Captain, Mr. Peter Burchall, that the MOHGS turned up in the MOHGS mufti. The Captain who was present at today’s event responded that he was unconcerned with attire and would be quite happy if the boys turned up bare chested. He stopped just short of Spike Milligan’s retort to a tribute by Prince Charles, when he called the Prince ” a grovelling little bastard.” Brains, ever the diplomat, remarked that it was forecast to be very hot therefore less was best. The President drew attention to the fact that he was indeed clad in MOHGS sweater today. He received a wink of acknowledgement from the Chair.

The Laird announced that he had made enquiries regarding the bowling day and that the preferred days were Tuesday’s and Thursday’s. This would be bottomed out in all in good time.

The Laird and the Chair enquired if anyone would like to join them on Saturday for a game at Parklands. There were no takers therefore the game was cancelled.

Other results today were as follows: G.W— 37, C.M—35, P.B—32, F.B—36, T.M—34, P.R( brother in law)—25.

The meeting closed at 1.20.

Burt E Kwok( Hon. Sec.)

PRESENT: F.B, P.L, P.B, D.F, K.S, G.A, T.M, C.M, M.M, J.G, G.W, P.F.
APOLOGIES: B.H, H.C, A.L.
Two new recruits were present, having been invited by the birthday boy to celebrate the momentous event, Michael Metcalfe ( Shagpile), and Geoff Ainsley ( Winscale).
Today’s event was in honour of the esteemed President, to celebrate his birthday, with the prize of the prestigious Soapy Dish awaiting the honourable victor.
The event kicked off with a wee dram, provided by the President as a welcome treat for the contestants before battle commenced. Only four clubs and a putter were allowed in the bag.

RESULTS: No 2’s were posted therefore £2.40 will be carried forward. The DoD was Kwok with a miserable 22 points. DDoD was the Rabi with a similarly miserable 25 points. The Crocodile was runner up with a respectable score of 35 points. The winner who is also the current trophy holder, was the effervescent and resolute Brains with a magnificent score of 37 points. The trophy was presented to very warm applause by the President, along with some well chosen words of congratulation to the deserved winner.
FINANCE: Geezer’s Cards—- P.F(60p), C.M(40p), P.L(20p), G.W(20p), D.F(20p), P.B(40p), T.M(20p), K.S(20p)—–£2.40.
£2.60 was collected in swears.
TOASTS: The Chair congratulated the President on the event of his birthday as well as remembering absent friends who were unavailable for today’s celebration.
To Johnny Bairstow and Andy Murray for sporting achievements.
BUSINESS: Last week’s minutes were accepted as a true record.
MATTERS ARISING: The Chair enquired as to whether Executive approval had been sought for the Dirty Dozen encounter. The President confirmed that he had, in the absence of the Chair, sanctioned the event at a previous meeting. The Chair appeared satisfied with the response and acknowledged this with a smug wink in the direction of the President.
Ten of the MOHGS who were present at today’s meeting, signified an interest in playing in the DD encounter. The question of whether or not to have a sit down meal after the game will be bottomed out at a subsequent meeting.
The meeting closed at 1.50 so that the games could commence.

Soapy then took centre stage. He had already posted money behind the bar for liquid refreshments but the coup de grace was manifest in his provision of a pudding for each of the invited guests. The pudding consisted of a meringue base filled with fresh fruits and topped with a generous portion of cream accompanied by a fruit compote and chocolate stick. Silence was observed by the party as the repast was gratefully consumed.
The wily old codger then revealed a compendium of bar games, consisting of shove halfpenny, a pinball machine and dominoes. He also proposed a putting contest but unfortunately this was cancelled due to the inclement weather. All in all a day to remember due to the generosity and thoughtfulness of the host.
Burt Kwok( Hon. Sec.)

PRESENT: P.B, P.L, J.G, D.F, T.H, H.C,

APOLOGIES: F.B, P.F, R.H, C.M, K.S, G.W, T.M, A.L,

Due to the absence of the Straggler and Kwok the meeting was chaired by the Rabbi and minutes taken by Jocks.

RESULTS : Competition – 4B.B.B.

Duffers of the Day were Team Falcon & il Matador with 34 points – handicaps increased by 1.   Winners were Soapy & The Geezer with an excellent score of 45 points – handicaps reduced by 1.  2nd place goes to Jocks & the Rabbi with 44 points

Swears – £0.40 [T.M.]  et al

Geezer’s Cards : DF/JG – 3 ; PL/RH – 2 ; KS/TM – 1 ; GW/HC 1.

PREVIOUS MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED.

MATTERS ARISING:

Soapy Day: Soapy confirmed that the competition next Monday would be an individual stableford competition using a maximum of 3 clubs + putter and he was organising a “special” sweet for the occasion. Tee times booked as per normal from 8.48am – 9.04 am. Brains will bring the trophy.

Southport: Booked for 9 on 4th-5th October 2015. J.G. D.F. H.C. & G.W. not attending due to other committments and T.M. to confirm. Current attendees are K.S. C.M. R.H. F.B. J.B. leaving a shortfall of 3-4.

Bowls: Due to committments this event is likely to be  mid to end of July.

Quaich: Round 2 to be played by 29 June 2015.

TOASTS: Congratulations to Soapy & The Geezer who made progress in the Seniors Calcutta Cup by respectively defeating Les Johnson and Jimmy Twynholme.  Congratulations to England and commiserations to Scotland for the international darts match result.

BUSINESS OF THE DAY:

Proposed Match : Mohgs v Dirty Dozen [Beamish Park G.C.] The D.D have shown interest in playing at Morpeth and asked Jocks if a friendly match could be arranged between the D.D. and the Mohgs. The proposal was unanimously accepted preferably with a Monday date teeing off at about 10.00am.  It is hoped that the match would be decided on  betterball matchplay terms and there would be an additional betterball stableford sweepstake at £1.00 per person.  Jocks would contact the D.D. to progress the event and report back. On the assumption that there would be a reciprocal arrangement and Jocks plays in both groups he would play for the away team  in each case.

Apologies: From the Falcon and Jocks who both will be unavailable for the next two Mondays.

Jock St Rappe

Hon. Sec. Sub.

PRESENT: F.B. J.G. P.L. R.H. K.S. C.M. H.C. T.M.

APOLOGIES: P.F, P.B, G.W,  A.L.

RESULTS:

One 2 posted by Jocks @ 16th for Team Jocks/Brains who share the £4.00 pot.

Competition – 4B.B.B.

Duffers of the Day were Team Rabbi\Crocs with 29 miserable points whose handicaps will be increased by 1. Joint winners were Jocks/Brains & The Geezer/Falcon with a nearly miserable score of 31 points and share £20 and whose handicaps will be reduced by 1.  2nd place goes to the Straggler & Soapy with 30 points who share £8.

Additional Prizes: Par 3s – KS & FB; Par 5s – PL & CM. Each pair share £4

LAST WEEK’S MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED.

MATTERS ARISING: None

TOASTS:Thanks to Jocks for organising the day and from Crocs for solving transport problems.

BUSINESS OF THE DAY:

Soapy Day: Now changed to 22nd June to accommodate the Straggler who can’t make 15th.  Jocks re-affirmed that once again due to the 2nd date change he will be unable to attend and as changes are made only for certain individuals and should this continue would be seriously considering his position. Soapy to organise competitions. Self catering will apply i.e. Order your own.

Southport: Possibilities were outlined by Soapy to be held in October. F.B.  C.M. K.S. J.G. R.H. & T.M. Showed interest subject to commitments. The part would be restricted to 8 with a reserve list.

Hunley Hall: To be persued – organiser required and for any other away days

Quaich: As Kwok has been given a bye for Round 1 can he play Round 2 by 29 June? His emails were unclear.

Tee Times booked for next Monday. JG,CM and RH playing but the rest present offered apologies for either playing for the team or other reasons.

No other business therefore meeting closed at 15.00 pm

Jock St Rappe

Hon. Sec. Sub.

PRESENT: F.B. J.G. P.L. A.L. R.H. K.s. C.M. D.F. F.B. Left early under orders from Mrs B.

APOLOGIES: P.B. P.F. G.W. H.C. T.M.

Due to the partial absence of the Straggler and Kwok the meeting was chaired by the Rabbi and minutes taken by Jocks.

RESULTS:

One 2 posted by Crocs on the 8th who takes the purse and is due the roll over.

8 Competitors therefore Competition was Four Ball Betterball.

Duffers of the Day were Team Soapy & Jocks whose handicaps will be increased by 1 Winners were The Straggler & the Rabbi whose handicaps will be reduced by 1 and in 2nd place were Brains and Biggles.

Swears – £0.20 [R.H.]

Geezer’s Cards : K.S.-2,R.H.-1,J.G-1,P.L.-2,A.L.2,C.M.-1,D.F.-1 Total – £2.00

TOASTS: To Rabbi for his birthday. Byeong-Hun An landed his maiden European Tour title in record-breaking fashion at the  PGA Championship.Monty for winning a “Seniors” event.Newcastle United who managed to retain their Premiership status and commiserations to the Tigers who narrowly missed out and will be  playing Championship football for one season.

LAST WEEK’S MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED.

MATTERS ARISING: None.

BUSINESS OF THE DAY:

Quaich: Jocks to include Results Sheet with the minutes. One Round 1 result unknown as neither player [J.B. & P.F.] was present or had forwarded the result. Round 2 to be completed no later than 29th June.

Soapy Day: Confirmed as the 15th June due to team match on 8th. Soapy and Jocks to organise competitions. Self catering will apply i.e. Order your own.

Beamish Park Away Day: Now only 8 players so it was proposed and unaimously agreed that we play a 4BBB competition. Draw made on the day. Those wanting pre-match sandwich to arrive by 9.15am. 1st tee time is 9.54 am.

Bowls: The Laird will make further investigations and report back. To be played  on Tuesday or Thursday towards the end of June.

No other business therefore meeting closed at 13.00 pm

Jocks

Temp. Hon. Sec.

PRESENT: F.B, J.B, P.B, J.G, D.F, C.M, P.F, P.L.

First impressions of Dalmahoy were that there was a very old clubhouse with lots of history attached, it was very busy with a strict timetable for tee times and the boys were anxious to get started while the sun was shining. Second impressions as the games progressed in tandem with the escalating wind, was that the greens were poor having just been hollow tined and the course was a definite challenge for the Morpeth boys with narrow fairways and the ever present danger of flying golf balls from every angle. We started on the shorter course which was the East course (I think), which was compact and much shorter than it’s sister course, which we would tackle the following day.

RESULTS: Whilst the temporary Comp. Sec., Mr. D.F, was collating the scores, the Chair revealed that in conversation with the Geezer, he had devised a means of secret recognition for the MOHGS which could be used in greeting a fellow member, without drawing any attention from the public at large. He called the greeting, ” Slapping the leather.” Upon meeting a fellow member, one should slap ones thigh with the flat of the hand and point two fingers at the fellow member as if using a pistol, blow down the imaginary barrel and return the imaginary pistol to its holster on the thigh. The Chair has an exceptional imagination, although he is quite deluded, but this greeting was adopted by the group for the rest of the weekend and MOHGS could be observed blowing down imaginary pistols for the remainder of the stay.

The temporary Comp. Sec. revealed the results of a very trying first game and decided that there would be no payouts until the following day. There were 2 x 2’s by the Straggler and Crocs. The DoD was Delboy with 24 points. DD’soD were the Laird and Kwok with 26 points apiece. Runner up was the Rabbi with 33 points. Joint winners with 34 points were the Cardinal and the Crocodile with a magnificent 34 points. The par 5’s would be decided over the two day event. The joint winners plus the runner up were each awarded £5 in prize money.

TOASTS: To Perez for scoring the goal that may keep Newcastle in the Premier league and to poor Burnley who are unfortunately already relegated.

BUSINESS: The Chair demonstrated his flair for the spoken word by declaring that the course in his estimated opinion was crap. It was revealed that the Chair had been humiliated in Frankie and Benny’s cafe earlier in the day, by being charged an astronomical £4 for a cup of coffee, whilst the other diners had enjoyed a full Scottish breakfast for a mere £5 apiece. This may have had an impact on his dour demeanour for the remainder of the weekend.

The conversation turned to religion, politics, morality and sport. There were good tales to be enjoyed and excellent ales to be supped before thoughts turned to food and the happy group decamped to the dining hall for a well deserved bite. The accommodation it must be reported was first class.

DAY 2.

The game was played over the West course ( I think), which was much longer and the wind blew even harder which made conditions extremely challenging.

RESULTS: One 2 was carded by Crocs. DoD was Brains with 18 points. DDoD was the Cardinal with 19 points. The runner up was Kwok with 26 points. The winner with a magnificent 30 points was the indomitable and ever resilient Crocs.

The aggregate winner over two days was the Crocodile with the Rabbi in a commendable second place. The par 5 winner was the Laird with Kwok in second place. The mystery pairs winners were revealed as the Straggler and the Laird with Delboy and Brains in second place. The overall winner without doubt was the course itself which proved, under the prevailing conditions, a very tough nut to crack. The temp Comp. Sec. distributed the prize money to the deserving recipients and was thanked by the Chair on behalf of fellow MOHGS, for his dedicated stewardship in the absence of St. Rappe, who incidentally, was much missed on this trip.

The Cardinal was also thanked for the organisation of the weekend which was once again faultless in its execution.

BUSINESS: The Chair was anxious about the consideration of future trips. He posed the questions—— What do we want from our golf? Do we drink too much on Sunday nights? These very important deliberations were left hanging, to be bottomed out at a future date. MOHGS do not take decisions lightly.

The final thoughts in a nutshell—— The camaraderie and cuisine were superb. Breakfast and dinner were a delight although an interpreter was needed to translate the dinner menu which was  very cordon bleu. The course left a lot to be desired. Overall very good value for money.

Delboy had a long drive ahead to the distant outpost of Windsor. Crocs was concerned about the oil consumption of his car and the others were brought back down to earth with the knowledge that the honeymoon was over and it was time to bust out of the bubble and return to real life with its attendant problems and rewards.

The meeting closed at 2.30pm.

BURT KWOK ( Hon. Sec.)

PRESENT: P.B, P.L, J.G, D.F, T.H, H.C

APOLOGIES: F.B, P.F, R.H, C.M, K.S, G.W, T.M, A.L

Due to the absence of the Straggler and Kwok the meeting was chaired by the Rabbi and minutes taken by the Laird.

RESULTS:  As the course was extremely busy due to being a bank holiday  the competition was played off yellow tees instead of the normal white tees for the first Monday in the month.

There were no 2’s posted, therefore £1.20 will be c/f to next week.

Duffer of the Day was the Falcon with 23 points and deputy duffer was the Laird with 26 points. Joint runners up were Brains and the Rabbi with 32 points will share £2  and the joint winners were the Cardinal and Mr Mckay with 33 points who share £4.00. Handicap adjustments are made in the usual manner as noted in the Results Records.

The Cardinal beat the Falcon 4/3 in Round 1 of the Quaich and commiserations were offered to Jock St Rappe and Soapy who were soundly beaten 6/5 in the final of the Seniors Calcutta Pairs Competition by Steve Gordon and Jim Turnbull.

Swears – £0.20 [H.C.] No Geezer’s Cards.

TOASTS: To Rory & Willitt and also to Brains on completion of his dining room.

LAST WEEK’S MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED.

DALMAHOY: Draw for was made as follows :-

1. Straggler

2. Rabbi

3. Crocodile

4. Kwock

5. The Cardinal

6. Brains

7. The Laird

8. Del Boy

Pairings as per attached Dalmahoy spread sheet. The Laird is temporary comp sec. for Dalmahoy so any queries should be directed towards him. Tee times Sunday – 12.30pm Monday 10.00 am.

The Falcon apologies for next 3 mondays.

No other business therefore meeting closed at 13.00 pm.

The Laird

Temp. Hon. Sec.

PRESENT: P.L, P.F, J.G, K.S, D.F, B.H, T.M, C.M. ( D.F had to leave early to attend the dentists.)

APOLOGIES: The Chair, P.B, Falcon, Jethro and Biggles. The Geezer apologised for his absence next week due to his visit to the Big Apple. Soapy will be away for the next two weeks.

The meeting was ably chaired by the Rabbi because the Straggler was busy playing for the team. It was very noticeable that the acting Chair was most agreeable and diplomatic, did not succumb to knee jerk reactions or devise new policy on the hoof, disregard sensible suggestions, or demote members on a whim.

Before his enforced early bath, the Laird proposed that Kwok be reinstated to his previous position of Hon. Sec. which included all the privileges which had hitherto been expunged, on a whim, by the absent Hon. Chair. The motion was carried unanimously and little Burt was once more elevated to a rank more in keeping with the onerous responsibilities of the post. Jock Strap further stated that there should be no more demotions or unilateral Machiavellian decisions by the Executive until the next AGM in January or thereabouts.

RESULTS: There were no 2’s posted, therefore £1.60 will be c/f to next week. Today’s competition was a four ball better ball. There were joint DoD’s, P.L&J.G and P.F&K.S on 35 points. The runners up were B.H&T.M with 39 points. The winners and Champines of the day with a massive 40 points were the ever popular Crocs and Laird. C.M has pouched the Laird’s poke of £3 which he will return upon application.

GEEZER’S CARDS: Contributions came from, T.M(20p), J.G(80p), B.H(60p), a total of £1.60. All monies were collected for safekeeping by the acting Chair Mr. P.L.

TOASTS: To Soapy and Jock Strap who won their Calcutta Cup match and are now in the Final which will be played next Monday. Both combatants will therefore be unavailable for next week’s MOHGS encounter and we wish them well in the big game.

To Justin Rose and Lee Westwood who won different competitions last week.

To Hartlepool who have managed to avoid the drop into non league football.

DALMAHOY: The Social Sec. was on official duty today, playing for the team so was unavailable to confirm the agenda for the Dalmahoy. It was thought that the first game on Sunday would begin at 12.30 and the final game on Monday would begin at 10.30. Mr. B.H has completed a spreadsheet for the competition and given it to the acting Comp. Sec., Mr. D.F. It requires that there be a draw which could be completed next week, at which time the Laird could then enter the names on the sheet. Several MOHGS, who are not attending Dalmahoy have signified an interest in playing at Morpeth on 11th. May.

WHITE TEES: The acting Chair, with typical insight, reminded the group that next week is the first MONDAY of the month therefore the game will be played off the White tees and MOHGS mufti is compulsory.

GEEZER’S CARDS: Mr. J.G rather timidly suggested that in four ball better ball competitions, the Geezer cards should be shared equally by the competing pairs, since the duos also shared the 2’s pot if they were lucky enough to hit the jackpot. After a little deliberation it was agreed that Brains had a point and it was that this suggestion would become policy at the next opportunity for 4 ball better ball.

BANK HOLIDAY: Next Monday is a Bank Holiday, therefore there may well be a depleted group of contestants, however, several members signified their intention to attend.

BEAMISH: Mr. B.H is continuing to arrange a game at Beamish towards the end of May. Since food is unavailable on Monday it was decided to play on a Thursday or Friday. After much discussion, it was agreed that 29th May was the preferred option. Strappe was given a mandate to complete the transaction.

There being no other business, the acting Chair, having successfully negotiated the pitfalls and slings and arrows, formally brought the meeting to a close at 1.30.

BURT (Honourable Secretary)

PRESENT: C.M, H.C, T.M, G.W, P.L, A.L, B.H, F.B, P.F, K.S, D.F, J.G

APOLOGIES: P.B, E.E, T.H. H.C apologised in advance for his absence next week.

RESULTS: One 2 was posted by the Rabbi. DoD was the Straggler with a meagre 26 points. DD’s o D were Brains and Biggles with 30 points apiece. The Laird was runner up with 37 points. Joint winners on 38 points were El Mat and the Geezer.

The winners of the QUAICH COMPETITION were Soapy and the Geezer, who beat the Laird and Brains respectively. The Geezer will now play The Rabbi whilst Soapy will play the winner between Delboy and Kwok.

TOASTS: to Inverness Caledonian Thistle and the Bairns who will contest the Scottish Cup Final.

GEEZERS CARDS: F.B(20p), K.S(60p), B.H(60p), A.L(20p), P.L(60p), G.W(20p), J.G20p).—£2.80.

There was £2.20 in swears.

LAST WEEK’S MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED.

MATTERS ARISING: Mr. B.H has very graciously agreed to design a spreadsheet for the Dalmahoy Competition which will be fine tuned and completed by the Laird at the venue. The acting Comp. Sec. will decide the format for the weekend and reveal this to competitors prior to the games.

The Chair proposed an extension to the Geezer’s cards, whereby a chosen bunker each week would illicit a fine of 50p from those unfortunate enough to fall prey to its clutches. This was deemed a BAD idea by all present so the business moved on.

Clarification was given that all monies collected via the swears and Geezer Cards would be used at the discretion of the Soc. Sec./ Treasurer for use on away day outings for the purchase of necessities such as wine at the evening meal.

There was a truncated discussion on the reason for Kwok’s demotion. The Chair with a flippantly casual tap of his gavel responded that it was an executive decision and declined to be drawn further into the argument. He was tacitly supported by his Executive cohort.

Jock St. Rappe who is still in recovery after the op., but looking much more like his robust self, declared that he was willing to organise an away trip to Beamish but due to the state of the course at present, he felt that it would be better to delay the contest until mid to late May. Eight combatants signified an interest in attending.

The meeting closed at 1.30pm.

Burty the Clerky