PRESENT: B.H, K.S, J.G, P.L, P.B, H.C, T.H, D.F, T.M, F.B, P.F.

RESULTS: 2 x 2’s posted by Mr.McKay and the Straggler who had a share of £2.20 and £1.40 carried forward from last week. DoD was Brains with 31 points. The DDoD was the Laird on 34 points. The Cardinal and the Geezer were joint runners up with 41 points. The winner and champine of the week was the indomitable Mr. McKay with a masterful  42 points.

The Straggler paid the entrance fee for the Lavender Hill Mob, namely Del, Des and Snoots, for the Chairman’s Quaich competition.

The Geezer’s cards realised a total of £2.40, whilst the swears total was £1.

APOLOGIES: Crocs, Jethro, El Mat and Biggles.

TOASTS: To the recently returned Laird, fresh from his trip down under and looking fit tanned and slightly rotund.

To the Cardinal in recognition of his victory in last week’s Senior’s competition.

LAST WEEK’S MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED AS A TRUE RECORD OF EVENTS.

MATTERS ARISING: The Chair rather shamefacedly apologised for missing last week’s game. He apparently peeked out of the window last week, saw a feeble shallow smattering of snow on his garden and leapt back into the warmth of his recently vacated bed. He was under the misguided impression that his fellow MOHGS would have come to the same conclusion.

AWAY DAYS: There are 8 MOHGS interested in the trip to Dalmahoy. Crocs has booked 2 tee times, 10.00 and 10.08 for Friday at the Bridle Path. Six people signified their interest in attending although the weather looks rather iffy and there may need to be a rain check. Soapy suggested that participants may want to purchase hand warmers. There was a rather sour note when the Treasurer categorically announced that there would be no subsidy in the current stringent economic climate. The Comp. Sec. gave his blessing to the competitors in deciding their own format for the game. Brains, Soapy, Straggler, Crocs, Laird and the Rabbi will contest the match.

SOAPY’S DAY: Brains asked for a date for Soapy’s Day. Soapy remarked that he would prefer to play on the Monday closest to his 81st. birthday on June 10th. He further stated that he was prepared to put money behind the bar for refreshments after the game although he would be unable to replicate the same generous amount as his previous contribution. This gesture was warmly received by the boys.

Today’s meeting was in danger of fragmenting on several occasions and the Chair experienced difficulty in trying to hold it together, although he strove manfully to do so but he’s no John Bercow. The Cardinal suggested that he should make greater use of his gavel. The Chair agreed that he was remiss in under use of the gavel and would strive to remember to bring it to future meetings.

Tee times for next week are as per usual, 8.48, 8.56 and 9.04.

The Falcon apologised for his absence next week.

There being no other business, the meeting closed at 1.10pm.

BURT E. KWOK( Hon. Sec.)

PRESENT: P.L, P.B, J.G, K.S, B.H, T.M, P.F.

The Chairman was absent therefore his seat was adequately filled by the resourceful Rabbi.

RESULTS: There were no 2’s therefore the £1.40 will be carried forward to next week. DoD was the Cardinal with 26 points. The Geezer was DDoD with 30 points. The runner up was Brains on 36 points. This weeks champine was the ever popular Comp. Sec. Mr. B.H with a tremendous 41 points in incredibly difficult conditions.

APOLOGIES: Laird, Jethro, Matador and Biggles.

FINANCES: £1.40 was collected from the Geezer’s cards. £2.60 in swears. The geezer overpaid and has 4 swears in credit.

LAST WEEK’S MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED AS A MORE ACCURATE RECORD THAN THE WEEK BEFORE.

MATTERS ARISING: The Cardinal reported that the restaurant formerly known as Saffron has risen from the ashes and will henceforth be known as Ephesus. He was unable to identify its ethnicity but was convinced that with that monicker it was likely to be Greek. There would have to be an advance party to ascertain its credentials before the real party. However Soapy continues to champion the Manzil and recommended the vindaloo to all serious aficionados.

The Cardinal discovered that the Marriott at Dalmahoy is offering 2 rounds of golf, dinner, bed and breakfast for £129 during the month of April. This rises by £7/ head during May. It was felt that May would be the better option weather wise. The Geezer has played the course but urged caution, since he found that after a couple of drinks, it was almost impossible to find his way back to the bedrooms because of the weird layout of the accommodation.

Carlisle and Selby courses were suggested by the Geezer although P.B said Carlisle was very wet when he last visited. P.L recommended Seaton Carew as an admirable links course.

The Rabbi has booked the tee times for next week: 8.48, 8.56 and 9.04.

There being no other business, the meeting closed at 12.55.

BURT E. KWOK ( Hon. Sec.)

PRESENT: P.F, T.M, P.B, F.B, P.L, C.M, K.S. D.Givens walked the course and St. Rappe attended the meeting but did not play. Conditions were extremely windy and intermittently wet which had a negative effect on the standard of play. C. M was heard to exclaim above the noise of the gale as we embarked on our adventure, “We’re lucky old gits.”

APOLS: Biggles, Brains, Laird and Falcon.

RESULTS: One two was posted by Kwok. DoD was the Straggler on 23 points. DDoD was Crocs  with 27 points. The runner up was Soapy with 31 points. The winner with 36 points in extreme conditions was the redoubtable Rabbi. The Chair is looking after Soapy’s winnings.

Last week’s minutes were disputed by several regulars and Kwok was forced to eat humble pie and apologise for several omissions and duff information, chiefly that the Senior’s captain is not the Chairman and that the swears cash amounted to £3.60. Swears cash this week, lest we forget is £1.60.

THE AMENDED MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED.

MATTERS ARISING: The cardinal announced that the Indian Restaurant known as Saffron, is no more, it is dead in the water, closed down, shut and no longer trading. If there were to be an exploratory advance party to certify the credentials of an Injun for gastronomic purposes it would have to be the Manzil.

TOASTS: To Andy Sullivan who won the South African Open.

Crocs announced that Vince’s mother had died on Sunday. The MOHGS were saddened by this news and send their sympathy to Vince and family.

BUSINESS OF THE DAY: The Chair revealed that the Hull v. Newcastle game is live on the telly on 31st. Jan and that he and the other member of the Executive may watch the game in the golf club. Other interested parties would be most welcome.

The Cardinal remarked that it would soon be necessary to bottom out the venues for away days and overnighters. Crocs revealed that the Bridle Path, did a deal on Fridays. Whitley Bay, Bellingham, Bedlington, Arcot and Garesfield were mentioned as possibilities. The Cardinal was also aware that Dalmahoy was offering a good deal.

The new golf club manager began work today. He is Matthew Bowman.

Tee off times next week are as usual, 8.48, 8.56 and 9.04.

There being no other business, the meeting closed at 1.20.

BURT E. KWOK ( Hon. Sec.)

PRESENT: P.L, K.S, P.B, C.M, B.H, F.B, P.F, J.G, H.C.

APOLS: J.G apologised for missing next week. Apols from E.E, Biggles, G.W and the Laird.

RESULTS: There was one 2 from Soapy on the 14th. Today’s game was played off club h/caps, since it was the first game of the New Year. DoD was St. Rappe with 28 points. The DDoD was the Falcon on 34 points. Runners up were the Cardinal and the Straggler with 38 points apiece. The champ for the day with 39 points was the ever popular Kwok.

THE MINUTES OF THE LAST MEETING WERE ACCEPTED AS A TRUE RECORD.

BUSINESS OF THE DAY: Soapy revealed that he had paid for swears that he had only thought about but not actually uttered. The gathering was impressed by his generosity of spirit and humbled by his openness and integrity.

The Chair was concerned by the lack of cash in the kitty and suggested that whole teams should be fined hefty amounts if they fail to ring the bells. The Cardinal would arbitrate in all disputes and set an appropriate fine. The Cardinal would like to grade the swears and charge extra for the biggies like f+++, c####, and k***, whilst words like b+++++ and b~ll~~~s! would receive a mild caution and a lesser fine. The Cardinal will no doubt draw up a list of offending words with the appropriate tariff for each cuss. The Cardinal himself was taken to task for omitting to distribute the Geezers cards. A vexed Cardinal responded with a tirade of abuse and then with good humour paid the price for his outburst into the swear box.

Little Burt E Kwok, asked for a stationery allowance, since he had been forced to go into his own pocket for a new minutes book. He was savaged by the Chair and the Cardinal who accused Little Burt of being parsimonious and told that if he wanted to keep his job he should button his lip and pay the stationery bill.

CHAIRS QUAICH: An entrance fee of £2/person is required for admittance to the competition, payable to the Cardinal.

TOASTS: To the Cardinal on his elevation to the Chairmanship of the Seniors.

GEEZER’S CARDS will be operative next week.

CHRISTMAS PARTY: The Chairman opened the autopsy by declaring that he felt that the atmosphere this year, lacked the zing and sparkle of previous festive get togethers. Reasons why, may have included the fact that the Cardinal and Crocs had other fish to fry, there was no dart board and we started the snooker too early. Most people appeared to enjoy the food. However it was proposed by the Chair, that an injun in the toon might be a more satisfying format and that it should be given more thought. The President suggested a trial run to check out the cuisine and St. Rappe cautioned that we wait until the clocks go back before embarking on the culinary adventure. This was agreed upon and will be discussed at a later date.

AWAY DAYS: The Cardinal thought it was not necessary to purchase County Cards as there were good deals to be had. Eyemouth and North Berwick, Whitley Bay and St. Andrews were all mooted as possible venues, whilst the Chair with a glint in his eye exclaimed that he would like to take Soapy along the Bridle Path. Was Hunley still on the list since we have had pretty poor weather on previous visits? It was agreed that another meeting was required to bottom out away days and possibly a steering committee to recommend venues.

There being no other business, the meeting closed at 1.10pm.

Tee times next week are 8.48, 8.56 and 9.04.

Burt E Kwok ( Hon. Sec.)

Attendees: FB, KS, PL, GW, CM, HK and JG.

Apologies: All none attendees.

Minutes: None.

Toasts: Very best wishes to all in attendance, non attendees and absent friends.

Results: D of the Day PL (24 pts), DD FB (26 pts), SP KS (46 pts),  W JG (48 pts). Others CM (36 pts), HC (30 pts), GW (38 pts).

Swears: None recorded.

Tee times for 5/1/15: ?

Reminder: The next Comp will be on the 1st Monday of the month !!! You will tee off 2015 with your current club handicap?

PRESENT: P.L, AL, J.G, R.H, G.W.

APOLOGIES: Falcon, Laird, Cardinal, Geezer, Straggler and Jethro (who did attend the Christmas party).

RESULTS: No twos posted therefore £1.00 carried forward in the safe hands of Jocks. DoD was el Matador with 30  points. DDoD was Brains with 31 points.

Runner up was The Rabbi with 35 points and the winner was Biggles with a splendid score of 39 points.  Congratulations to the Layton family. Handicaps for the above will be adjusted in time honoured fashion.

TOASTS: Sunderland F.C. For their victory in the Tyne\Wear Derby and all the fans attending St James Park for their exemplary behaviour and respect for the sadly departed John & Liam.

LAST WEEKS MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED AS A TRUE RECORD.

BUSINESS OF THE DAY: The Straggler arrived apres golf looking somewhat bedraggled following high jinks yesterday presumably at St James Park with Desmond who he had just delivered to the railway station. He also stated that Desmond had e-mailed at least to another surprising absentee, Kwok, sending his apologies for today’s sortie and left soon after with his tail between his legs.

It was proposed and unanimously agreed that today’s attendees should in the future be known as “Real Mohgs” which will have equal standing to the executive.

The Rabbi will book the tee for next Monday at the usual times commencing at 8.48 am. Jocks,The Straggler and Biggles tendered their tentative apologies as they may well be residing in distant parts.

Jocks confirmed that from 1st January 2015 Mohgs handicaps will revert to club official handicap and requested that each member informs the Comp. Sec. Of their individual handicap on that date.

There being no further business the meeting was closed at about 13.15 pm

Jock St. Rappe

Executive Director of Competitions & Handicaps

PRESENT: B.H, F.B, P.F, K.S, D.G, C.M, A.M, J.G, P.B, P.L, E.E.

RESULTS: There was one 2, posted by the Straggler. DoD was the Cardinal with 10 points. DDoD was the Straggler with 14 points. The Rabbi was runner up with 26 points. The winner and  Christmas champine was the ever popular Kwok with a highly commendable 29 points. Kwok was presented with the trophy by last year’s winner, Brains.

TOASTS: To P.L. who won the Senior’s competition last week.

CHAIRMAN’S SPEECH: Thanked all his officers for their diligence throughout the year and to all members without portfolio for their loyal support. Remarked that it had been another successful year although the trip to Whitley Bay was still in the pipeline. Thanked Delboy for his continued support with particular reference to the polo shirts and sweaters. Praised Kwok for his first victory in the Seniors and all the other members who had played well in various competitions through the year. He welcomed the new members, namely the Geezer and the Falcon. Mentioned the trip to Hunley as being particularly memorable. Hoped that next year will be as successful when he hoped that Delboy might be persuaded to produce a line of monogrammed caps and onesies.

The Chair was cheered and clapped as he took to his seat.

FINANCE. REPORT: The Cardinal with his usual efficiency announced that the current cash in hand was a meagre £34.60. He further remarked that there would be no more subsidies unless we all began to swear more and thus increase the kitty. He was hopeful that the Geezers new card scheme would provide a welcome revenue stream.

REPORT BY COMP. SEC.: This report was packed with facts and figures and had obviously been given a deal of thought by the Comp. sec. The full report cad be seen upon application to the Secretary.

In the 2014 season we have played 52 competitions comprising 38 singles, 9 betterball and 5 away days. Crocs was the top participant with 46 tournaments under his belt. Total prize money had been £509 with a further £101 for the 2’s comp. Brains had won 10 comps, followed by the Straggler on 9. The Staggler had bagged 8 of the 2’s pots. The top money winner on £63 was Brains. The Cardinal won the most money per game played at a rate of £1.50.

The Comp Sec talked about the away days and picked out several which he had deemed to be most successful and the nostalgic trip to Forest Pines in particular which included the football match between Newcastle and Hull. He proposed that the Hunley trip should be earlier next year so that we could hopefully find better weather. Thanked Brains for providing the Hunley Trophy, which was won by the Cardinal. Mentioned trips to Beamish Park, Newcastle United and Stocksfield as well as the memorable day to celebrate Soapy’s 80th birthday. Looked forward to a new match play comp. In 2015, namely the Chair’s Quaich.

Will continue with the same h/cap system in 2015 since it seems fair and consistent.

The Chair thanked the Comp. Sec. And the proposed a toast to absent friends, the Matador, Falcon and Geezer and the Comic ( Laird ).

P.B proposed that the Comp. Sec should be promoted to the Executive due to his stalwart performances over the years. The proposal was quickly vetoed by the Chair, with no explanation given.

LAST YEAR’S MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED AS A TRUE RECORD.

The President proposed that all officers be re-elected en bloc. This proposal was carried unanimously.

AOB: A letter by the Comic was read out by Kwok in which the Comic in a rather light hearted yet poignant manner set out the case for a change in nickname. The proposal was put to the vote and by a majority decision, the Comic will henceforth be known as the Laird.

Michael Beaton will be known as Lord Snooty and Noel will become Desmond.

Crocs, regretfully announced that he had been unable to locate the dartboard which would no doubt curtail the après food jovialities.

Tee times next week 8.48 & 56. There will be no Senior Comps during the festive season, but Taxi John is organising an event at 10am on Wednesdays for any interested parties.

HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL OUR READERS.

BURT KWOK (Hon. Sec.)

PRESENT: P.L, P.B, K.S, C.M, J.G, F.B, T.M, P.F. Non playing participant Mr. B.H and D.G.

APOLOGIES: Biggles, Falcon, Comic, Matador and Jethro (who may attend the Christmas party).

RESULTS: Today’s event was a 4 ball better ball competition. The standard was very high which is reflected in the scores. On 40 points, the D’soD were Brains and the Rabbi. Runners up on 41 points were the Straggler and Soapy. Joint winners on 42 points were the Geezer and Crocs and Kwok and the Cardinal. One 2 was posted by the Straggler and Soapy.

TOASTS: Blyth Spartans, Newcastle United and Gateshead for outstanding performances.

Mrs. Burchall who won a ladies competition last week.

Soapy who was an integral part of the winning team in last weeks seniors competition.

LAST WEEKS MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED AS A TRUE RECORD.

MATTERS ARISING:

1. The Comp. Sec. announced the dates by which each round of the Competition for the CHAIRMAN’S QUAICH should be completed. Round 1, by mid April. Round 2 by end of May. Round 3 by mid July and the final round by the end of Sept. All participants must email the Cardinal before the end of Jan. to signify their intentions and be prepared to pay a £2 entrance fee.
2. Crocs and Strappe thanked all who had contributed to the Movember appeal. The Comp. Sec. Is now a tash free zone.

BUSINESS OF THE DAY:

1. Terry’s cards had their first outing and initial reaction appears quite favourable although there are one or two things to be bottomed out. P.B has taken responsibility for the cards until next week.
2. The tees are booked for 10.40, 10.48 and 10.56 next week.
3. Crocs has unearthed a dart board and darts for use at the party. The Geezer was concerned that the position of the board was adjacent to the flat screen TV. The Chair was confident that the TV was in no danger and that he would personally cover any accidental damage.
4. There appears to be 9 members attending the Christmas Party. All participants have completed the data sheet to signify their food preferences. The Soc. Sec. will negotiate the final menu with the caterers based on the data.
5. The Chair was concerned that the chips would go cold if they were all delivered at the same time. The Soc. Sec. said that he would attempt to persuade the caterers to trickle the chips at intervals in order to keep a fresh supply on stand by. Soapy was convinced that the caterers would have the sense to serve the grub at the appropriate times.
6. The food will be available from 1.30-2pm. The cost will be £15 per head.
7. MOHGS polo shirts and/or jumpers should be worn if possible.
8. The Sec. will post the AGM agenda on line within the week.

There being no other business, the meeting closed at 2 pm.

BURT ( Hon. Sec.)

PRESENT: J.G, D.F, P.L, K.S, P.B, F.B, T.M, A.M, C.M, R.H. Observer – Davie Givens.

APOLOGIES: Biggles, Jethro, Matador, Falcon, Kwok

RESULTS: Duffer of the day was Soapy [K.S.] with 30 points and Deputy Duffer was The Kid [A.M.] with 31 points whose handicaps are adjusted to 25 and 8 respectively. Please note that on further inspection of the cards it was noticed that the Kid had played off his club handicap of 6 instead of his Mohgs handicap of 7 which adjusted his total points to 31 the effect of which was that he became deputy duffer instead of the Straggler and therefore the Straggler’s handicap remains at 11.

Twos posted by the Comic at the 8th and the Cardinal at the 17th who share the 2s pot of £2.00.

Also in 2nd place with a creditable 38 points were the Comic [D.F.] and the Cardinal [P.B.] whose handicaps are adjusted to 13 and 18 respectively.

Congratulations to the overall winner – Brains [J.G.] with an astonishing score of 43 points. His handicap is therefore reduced by 2 to 31.

TOASTS: Merry Xmas and a Happy New Year to the Comic who is flying off shortly to Australia.We wish him a safe journey and an enjoyable sojourn in the southern hemisphere.

To Phllip Hughes whose sudden death following a freak accident playing cricket in Australia was a shock to all cricket afficienados.

LAST WEEKS MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED AS A TRUE RECORD.

There were no matters arising.

BUSINESS OF THE DAY: Golf Card School:The Geezer [T.M.] agreed to organise the necessary paperwork for the so called “Golf Card School” which is proposed to be introduced from 1st January 2015.

The Chair’s Quaich : Following befuddled conversation regarding the format of this new competition and the correct pronuciation of “Quaich” it was proposed and accepted that the competition will be an individual  knockout match play competition commencing in 2015. Registration of interest should be e mailed to the Cardinal – Mr Peter Burchall and the entry fee of £2.00 deposited with him no later than 19th January 2015. A draw will then be made incorporating all interested parties and dates for the completion of each round will be stipulated and strictly adhered to. It is proposed that matches  will be incorporated though not exclusively within our Monday competitions. Handicaps will be the Mohgs handicap on the day of the match and shots will be awarded will be the full difference between the lowest and highest handicaps at the appropriate holes.

Movember : Jocks requested and received outstanding promissaries including an IOU from the southern branch via the Chair which was later after considerable pressure converted to cash! Jocks stated that the total amount donated was about £150.00  which all thought was a worthy effort.The actual amount is £160 and Jocks requested that all donatees examine the attached the sponsorship form to ensure your individual details are correct and those who are happy for the charity to claim the Gift Aid from H.M. Government to e mail their address including post code to Jocks. The date for completion is friday 5th Dec after which all the proceeds will be sent to the charity and Jocks will be de-tashed.

The tee times for next week are as per normal. Apols from the Comic for several weeks.

The meeting closed at about 1.50 pm.

Jock St Rappe

PRESENT: J.G, P.F, H.C, P.B, K.S, C.M, D.F, T.M, B.H, F.B.

APOLOGIES: Biggles, Jethro, Matador.

RESULTS: D’s o D were the Straggler, Cardinal and Crocs on 30 points. The DDoD was Brains on 32 points. The Falcon was in second place with 35 points. In joint first place with 37 points were the ever popular Chuckle Brothers, the Comic and St. Rappe. There were three twos by the Comic, the Falcon and St. Rappe.

TOASTS: To Newcastle United and Alan Pardew for continuing a fantastic run.

To Lewis Hamilton for securing the F1 championship and to Nicole Scherzinger for all her wonderful support for lucky Lew.

To the Cardinal and his partner for their victory in the seniors competition last week.

Corrections to the Minutes: Noel Beaton was not suspended as was hitherto alleged, on account that a man can no longer be held accountable for his wife’s actions.

The minutes should have clearly stated that Terry was asked what he was most notable for, in order to derive a nickname for himself.

THE MINUTES WERE ACCEPTED AS A TRUE RECORD.

MATTERS ARISING:

1. The Falcon was not recorded as being absent whilst on his recent jaunt to the US of A. He apologised for missing the next three weeks due to prior commitments.
2. The Secretary apologised for having forgotten the spreadsheet to record the preferences for the Christmas buffet and will bring it to the next meeting. Soapy declared his desire for a deluxe buffet, but St. Rappe queried whether the caterer’s definition of deluxe would match Soapy’s expectations.
3. The Comic called for a motion of censure on the Chair on account of the alleged smutty content of recent emails. The Chair professed no wrong doing and when it was put to the vote, the majority agreed and the Staggler breathed a huge sigh.
4. The Comp. Sec. revealed his irritation with a recent anonymous email which he perceived as undermining the integrity of the Soc. Sec., claiming he was attempting to join the exalted ranks of the executive. Jocks appealed for the perpetrator to be admonished but the plea was left in abeyance.
5. The Chair declared that orders for shirts and jumpers should be placed promptly but unlike Curry’s, could not promise delivery before Christmas.
6. It was suggested that Terry’s nickname should be the Geezer and it was unanimously adopted.

Micky B. Was a very keen fan of the Beano and Dandy up to the age of 30. It was therefore proposed that he should be known as Lord Snooty. This item was left for future discussion.

BUSINESS Of THE DAY: The Rabbi announced a tongue in cheek reprimand for the Chair for being nasty to his playing partners and causing distress thereto. The Chair shrugged his manly shoulders but no apology was forthcoming.

Next Monday is 1 Dec and signals the end of Movember. The kid will be in attendance and there will be a photo session for the two MOHG representatives. Some of the MOHGS who will be absent next week, paid their sponsor money in advance to St. Rappe.

The tee times for next week are as per. Kwok apologised for his absence.

The meeting closed at 1.50.

BURT( Hon. Sec)